Season 3, Episode 52: "Detention"

It's always the good ones who end up in detention, isn't it? This episode directly follows the last scene of "Stuff'll Kill Ya" where Ginger fell asleep during a test in Evil New Zorski's class, the reason she got detention in the first place.


The episode starts out hyper-dramatized as staff and students run basic administration errands to a military-like beat in the background. Oookay?

During math class, Ginger finds it more interesting to replay a conversation she had with Darren in her head about him officially joining the football team. Ginger is obviously upset by this, as she feels like she's losing Darren more and more to the temptations of popularity, pride, and glory. Me? I think they're just growing apart. And Ginger's probably worried Darren turning into another Ian Richton.

I miss the old, dorky Darren, too.

Darren had pressured Ginger to come to his football games because that would prove to Darren she cared about him. That seems like an ultimatum to me--"If you care about me, you'll come to my football games, which I know you hate." If this show was on the same age rating as Degrassi or Dawson's Creek or the like, the situation would replace "football" with "sex." And that's a red flag right there. I mean, I don't see why Ginger wouldn't want to support Darren. I get that she thinks football is stupid, but she's not the one playing--Darren is. But the fact that Darren is pressuring her to come is just a warning flag as red as Ginger's hair.

Ginger has apparently been reading Football for Dummies in an attempt to get into the forsaken sport, but the way she talks about it to Dodie makes it obvious Ginger wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a football and pork rinds.

Remember the kid from the first screenshot? He delivers a message to Ginger's geriatric math teacher from the assistant principal's office--Ginger's got all-day detention, yo! Isn't that basically ISS?

Now Ginger's freaking out about this over-the-top punishment for something quite minor, and I'm genuinely surprised why Ginger isn't trying to fight this. A short after-class reprimand would be more appropriate for falling asleep in class, especially considering Ginger's caffeine addiction story. Man, Evil New Zorski doesn't fuck around. Worst of all, Ginger's going to have to miss Darren's football game the next day--and cannot find the words to send a touchdown to his heart.

Adding salt to the slug, Darren slaps down front-row seat tickets for Ginger, Dodie, and Macie, and boasts how he had to do a lot of ass-kissing to get those tickets, preempting Ginger with his excitement for the game. This is another trope/cliche that annoys me to no end that could easily be fixed if A) Ginger interrupts Darren and tells him she has all-day detention or B) If Ginger crawls out of that I-don't-wanna-cwush-Dawwen's-feewings mentality for once in her damn life. Actually, a third option could work here too. And it's an option I suggested earlier--Ginger could fight this detention with both Evil New Zorski and the principal so she could get an alternative punishment that doesn't involve her staying in school on the weekend. Despite the fact that Ginger never wanted to go watch Darren throw a ball around in the first place is irrelevant--she was going to go and be miserable to spare his feelings anyway.

Blake agrees to help finance Carl and Hoodsey's tea--another money-making scam Carl has up his sleeve from the shirt he never changes. Seriously--why don't Carl, Hoodsey, and Blake ever change their clothes? Almost everyone else on the show does.

In exchange for financing the tea, Blake wants to give the tea a ridiculous name (Sir Blake Gripling's Special Reserve). Why not name it Piping Pompous Prep, if you're going to make it all about you?

Carl agrees to the terms Blake established, even though he knows fully-well that they have a mutual distrust of each other. Why they choose to be each other's business partners I'll never know. Because the Griplings have money so far up their large intestines, the value goes straight to their brains, blocking out their judgment! I suppose that's a good enough reason as any. So, Carl must sign like twenty pages of the contract to enact the deal, meanwhile, Hoodsey tries to make Carl rethink his decision. Carl knows what he's walking into, but isn't backing down. That Gripling influence is strong, man. Strong.

So, where is this amazing tea coming from, anyway? The Foutleys' backyard.

Ginger enlists Dodie and Macie to help Ginger figure out what to do next, since now Darren is expecting Ginger to be at the game. Well, Ginger, if you would have taken my suggestions instead of your dopey friends', you wouldn't be freaking out. Dodie suggests that she could go to the game as Ginger, which is laughable until she announces that she could totally pull it off because she has a fucking Ginger wig in her room the she pretends to be Ginger in.

Holy-- Dodie, I was kidding about you sneaking into Courtney and Ginger's rooms and collecting samples of their hair for your shrine. Oh, God, I didn't think you would actually do it. I feel sick now. Do I have to continue this review? I no longer feel safe.

The next morning, Lois drops Ginger off at school with a sack lunch and a nonchalant goodbye. Surprisingly, Lois isn't upset about Ginger getting detention, as it was just a mistake. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the quintessential mother of the cartoon world. No lectures about responsibility, no grounding for a week, no "when-I-was-your-age" spiel. Because, yes, it was a mistake that Ginger fell asleep in class. I really hate it how on TV, parents are so quick to dole out grounding for every little mistake their kid makes.

Busted Aunt Marigold's old lamp? You're grounded.
Got an F on a difficult exam? You're grounded.
Ran an expensive war-era tank into a building causing $700,000 worth of property damage? You're grounded... for two weeks. 

So, Lois is totally okay with Ginger getting detention, as long as it doesn't become a regular habit. Ginger walks into the detention room where all the delinquents are held, feebly clutching her bagged lunch to her stomach. The teacher overseeing the students vaguely reminds me of George-what's-his-face from the "Sibling Revile-ry" episode. Ugh, I really don't want to have to relive that episode.

So, the teacher goes over the no-fun rules and then leaves to go masturbate for the next six hours. But seriously, he brings a roll of toilet paper with him out of the room--and I highly doubt he's going to the bathroom. As soon as he shuts the door, all the students turn to stare at Ginger. Uh. hello?

You know, punk kids aren't the only ones who get detention.

Carl sells his tea to the magic shop clerk, who looks even more ratty and disgusting since the last time we saw him selling the boys vanishing powder. With those food stains and scraggly hair, he looks like the kind of guy who's supposed to stay 100 yards from public playgrounds by law.

He actually looks like a 40-year-old Carl, too.

So, the shop owner (Louie) decides to purchase a few boxes of tea.

Ginger and her detention mates are bored as ever. The guy sitting across from Ginger gives her a coy glance.

Meanwhile, the football game is prepping out on the field. We know this because Ginger periodically looks out the window every few minutes and can see and hear all the grunts and hoots. Hey, that could have been a way for Ginger to watch Darren play, and stay in detention simultaneously: she could have just watched the game from out the window.

You know, I feel bad for Darren here--Ginger's hatred for football is letting her become apathetic towards Darren. So what if you don't like football, Ginger? Support your man when he plays. I'm not a big hockey fan myself (though I find it fun to watch), but I went to Islander games with my boyfriend when they played home games. I also went to his hockey games when he played freshman and sophomore years of college. I traveled with his team by bus all over New York and New Jersey for his away games just to support him. Granted, he was just the backup and never actually got to play, but I still sat in the bleachers and supported him and our school. He quit junior year after realizing the coach wasn't going to put him in any games, and I still supported his decision. That's what's missing in Darren and Ginger's relationship: support.

Also, Ginger, keep in mind that Darren supported your decision to drag him around the county fair two episodes ago for hours. Yes, he got tired of it, but at least he made an effort. You just flat-out don't want to watch football. But hey, sports are much more fun to watch live than through a TV screen. At least in my opinion.

So, Dodie dresses up in Ginger's grunge clothes, right down to Darren's jacket. How did Dodie acquire Darren's jacket anyw--you know what? I don't even want to know. I just still cannot believe Dodie actually went through with this. This is wrong. So wrong and insulting not only to Darren's feelings, but to Darren and Ginger's relationship. Dodie wearing a wig pretending to be Ginger is supposed to be funny, but I cannot see the humor in this at all. I'm trying to picture someone actually doing this in real life, and I just get an uncomfortable feeling just thinking about it.

Does Chet have dreadlocks?

Dodie apparently isn't a very good Ginger because Chet Zipper immediately recognizes "Ginger" is actually Dodie in a wig. Yes, even Chet can see past Dodie's "disguise." And yet they expect to fool Darren with that disguise? Why can't Dodie and Macie tell Darren that Ginger has detention? Nobody else but Dodie has those giant purple lips--surely he'll figure out what's going on. You know, I just had another thought: if she's supposed to be Ginger, where is "Dodie" supposed to be? I suppose they could put Chet in a blonde wig...

Carl offers Milty a free sample of his tea, who reluctantly accepts it.

Blake calls Carl and Hoodsey into the Griplingmobile to announce that he's taking over the company. Why? Because Carl and Hoodsey refused to tell Blake where they found the plant they were getting all their tea from. And then Carl and Hoodsey are like, "The fuck you talking about?" And so Winston rolls down the separator window to read off the section of the contract Carl signs that allows Blake to do that. Winston really should be concentrating on his driving rather than kowtowing to Carl and Blake's little kid business before he gets into an accident and kills everybody. I don't care that he graduated from Harvard Law--it's no excuse. And if he did, what's he doing chauffeuring a rich family around for a living?

And thus, the contract is now null and void, and Blake takes over the company. Say, Blake, if you don't know what tea leaves are used, how are you going to keep that business running? Have the gears in your brain come to a grinding halt?

One of the girls steals Ginger's journal when she was writing a personal song about Darren, and decides to read it to the whole class. The teacher comes back right as everyone's up at the front of the room listening to the girl violate Ginger's privacy and singles Ginger out for being out of her seat--meanwhile everyone else--who is clearly standing right next to Ginger--is ignored. Seriously, what is with this guy? And why does he have a vendetta against Ginger when she did nothing to him? The adults on this show, man, I can't stand most of them.

The teacher shoos everyone else back to their seats, but keeps a close eye on Ginger specifically. When Milty went around and told all the junior high teachers about how much of a terrible human being Carl is, did the news get to this loser, who assumed that Ginger was equally as bad because they're siblings? Otherwise, I don't know why he has it out for her.

The teacher leaves again, and then the guy who smiled at Ginger before starts making small talk with her. He's a drummer. She writes songs. I smell a band forming. Oh, and this wasn't announced yet, but his name is Orion.

And so, the game officially begins.

Darren shreds grass on the field, tearing it up like no one's business. Lucky High gets the first down, annnd then this exchange happens:

Hey, I thought the trio got front row seats! They're in the second row.

Hey, does anyone notice who's in the bleachers? Hope is there, on the bottom right. Ian is sitting next to her. And there's some old guy a few rows above them looking bored. I thought this was a student game--meaning only students can attend. Ah, well.

Okay, so this is Simone in the screencap, one of the cheerleaders for the pep squad Dodie is desperately trying to squeeze into. Apparently, no one informed Simone that Darren was taken, so Simone starts flirting with him and congratulating him on his awesome plays. Dodie and Macie notice this, and start wondering why this girl is getting all cozy with Darren. Darren quickly walks away, says hi to Dodie and Macie, and wonders why Dodie is wearing her Ginger wig. See, I told you that it wouldn't work. Now, go hide that wig in shame, you creepy girl.

As Ginger and Orion talk about Ginger's song, Macie runs upstairs and gets Ginger's attention. She tells Ginger that Darren saw right through Dodie's shit disguise and knows that Ginger isn't there. Whoops!

Ginger's only hope for making up with Darren before the inevitable fight is to get down there and make sure Darren sees her--the real Ginger. Orion tells Ginger that's not a good idea, considering the teacher (whose name is revealed to be Mr. Grundig) will catch her, but Ginger is taking the chance anyway. Sigh... I still think this whole fiasco could have been avoided if Ginger had spoken with Lois or Evil New Zorski about her stress in school, and then she wouldn't have had to go on a coffee bender, and then she wouldn't have had to get addicted to the point where she crashed and burned in Evil New Zorski's class and wound up with detention, rendering her unable to tell Darren about it which may or may not have crushed him.

And yet, I still love this episode because it shows the detrimental domino effect that could happen if you don't seek help from someone as soon as you need it. And Ginger is getting this lesson whacked into her brain as I type this.

Darren makes an amazing catch, and the crowd goes wild.

He scores a touchdown, winning the game 16 to 14 (another cliche--winning a sports game by merely a point or two), and the crowd loses their friggin' minds. After all of Darren's teammates high-fives him and congratulates him on winning the game for them, Simone cartwheels over and gives Darren a congratulatory, flirty hug. At first, Darren is unsure of what to do with this hug, so he looks over at the bleachers where Ginger isn't, and becomes hurt enough to hug Simone back warmly. Oh... oh no.

If Darren knows that Ginger isn't in the bleachers, why is she still wearing that wig? Because it's Dodie, I know. Naturally, Dodie is too blind to see Darren hugging another girl and wondering about his implications. Stupid ditz. Maybe it's all that Ginger hair in your face.

Something's amiss with Carl's tea that makes everyone who drinks it start choking on it. Well, this could actually be the tea that Blake's been trying to emulate, actually, because when he drank the tea Carl and Hoodsey made, he didn't start choking.

Orion distracts Mr. Grundig so that Ginger can sneak out, though I don't know why because the game is already over.

Darren suddenly figures out Dodie was pretending to be Ginger, and boy does he get pissed.

The police arrive at the Foutley house to yell at Carl for nearly killing his customers with his tea. But, thanks to Blake's 20-page contract, he gets him and Hoodsey off the hook and puts the blame on Blake.

Dodie and Macie totally cockblock Darren when he's showing Simone some moves (this is a totally G-rated thing by the way--he's just posing) and reveal that Ginger had detention the entire day. Darren is still rightfully pissed, says Ginger should have just told him the truth, instead of flaking out on him. He demands his shirt back from Dodie, and goes to hang out with the people who actually support him--his teammates and Simone. Hey, what about Dodie and Macie? Oh, yeah, that's right. They kept hush-hush about the truth, too. So, I don't blame Darren if he's upset with Dodie and Macie.

After Darren leaves with his new friends, he spots Ginger in front of the door of the school. They stare at each other for a while, until Darren turns to leave without saying a word.

And for the second time this episode, salt is added to the slug when Mr. Grundig catches Ginger in the hallway and assigns her another Saturday detention. Damn, Ginger's in trouble three ways now--academically, with Lois, and now with Darren. I hate to say it, but welcome to the rest of Ginger's high school life. Because from here on out, it's drama-central. And it's all her fault.



Lessons Learned From This Episode: Stop being afraid to tell someone why you can't be at their game; don't try to dress up like your best friend to fool their boyfriend; always read contracts.