Season 3, Episodes 47-48: "Butterflies Are Free"

For those of you who have just graduated from wherever you graduated from, congratulations! And may you all be successful in whatever you choose to do. Unless what you choose to do involves being a katana-wielding mass murderer, then please don't be successful.

So, it's finally here--Ginger is graduating from Lucky Junior High, along with her shitty friends and obsessive boyfriend. Carl is moving on up to the junior high school, ready to walk in Ginger's shadow. So much is happening, so much has yet to happen, and we are almost 80% through the series.

After this episode and a few summer dilemmas, Ginger and friends will be in high school until the end of the series, which is about 10 episodes away, ending with "The Wedding Frame" TV movie. By then, I will have finished this blog. But that won't be until mid-September. So, don't worry; I may almost be done, but there's still plenty more drama to see. If you haven't seen the high school episodes yet, be warned. There is a lot more drama and many more changes ahead--some for the better, some for the worse. I'll let you decide.

For some reason, the high school episodes never aired in the United States. I didn't even know they existed until a few years ago. I thank the Internet. I read somewhere that Nickelodeon found these episodes "too dark" for the network, but that's a load of horseshit. The high school episodes are more drama-heavy than the junior high episodes, but they're not that bad. In that case, Avatar: The Last Airbender and its spin-off, The Legend of Korra wouldn't have ever made it onto the channel. So, I don't know what happened.

But enough of the rant. Let's start the review.


Ginger wakes up from a dream (which is strangely portrayed as a nightmare) that all her friends ignore her as they walk out of the classroom doors, and then they close one by one. You'd think after all the crap Ginger has been put through, she'd be happy that her subconscious is able to create such a Dodie, Macie, and Darren-free utopia. Except, Courtney is in the dream too, and shouldn't be walking out on Ginger. She deserves to be by Ginger's side in high school.

Anyway, Lois comes into Ginger's room to pull her lazy ass out of bed. Ginger expresses her concerns about graduating while Lois attempts to comfort her by lying about how awesome high school is going to be. Okay, I may be in the minority when I say that I liked high school, but I know most people hate it for good reasons, so Lois really shouldn't be getting Ginger's hopes up like this.

Carl and Hoodsey don tuxedos that are clearly too big for them to meet up with Blake and Higsby in the Griplingmobile (why didn't I call it that a long time ago?!) so they can all exchange stuff they stole or took for blackmail or personal desires... you know, as a goodbye to Lucky Elementary and a chance to start fresh with newer, rawer blackmail in junior high.

Why did they dress up in the first place? Blake and Higsby are wearing their normal clothes.

So, Gripling gives back Carl's petrified eyeball, Carl gives back Blake's tonsils, Hoodsey gives back Mr. Licorice's tooth, and Higsby forks over a picture of him and Hoodsey doin' it on a bicycle. *Shudders*

Hold on a second--maybe it's just my poor memory, but didn't Carl already get his eyeball back in a previous episode? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Ms. Zorski delivers a cookie-cutter speech to the class before escorting everyone across the street to the high school for orientation. Wait, don't incoming freshmen attend orientation during the summer? It doesn't make sense to pull them out of school to tour the high school before they even graduated. Whatever. Ms. Zorski pulls Ginger aside and asks if she can deliver a close-out speech during graduation. Okay, first of all, isn't that the valedictorian's job? And second, why does she keep asking Ginger to make speeches? Just because she's a good writer doesn't mean she's a good speaker. Ginger cannot be the only decent writer in the school. Either that, or Zorski's playing favorites. Not cool.

Naturally, Dodie explodes in a sparkly, colorful bliss as soon as her feet touch the same ground the high school rests on. Because it's high school! 

Forget Disneyworld--for Dodie, high school is the happiest place on Earth.

She squeals and squees and coos with glee, until Miranda passes her and tells her that her flamboyant love-affair with the building is going to get her bitch-ass stuffed into lockers on a daily basis. At least Dodie has two functioning brain cells to realize that Miranda might be right. So she shuts up.

Darren encourages Ginger to write the speech, but Ginger is so obviously nervous about graduating that she nearly kills the nerves in Darren's hand from squeezing it so tight.

During orientation, the principal goes over school rules and protocols for the fresh meat. They sound like standard rules to me, but the deer-in-headlights expression everyone gives makes it seem like these kids have never been exposed to real authority before. "Oh, my God. Rules! Minimum requirements! Eeek!" I blame Milty for this.

Macie expresses her fears about high school, leading to Ginger and Dodie jumping in to give her pre-support. Apparently, Macie is caught off-guard by this and is like, "I'm in high school now; I don't need you two coming to my rescue anymore." Damn, Macie, way to show some backbone! Ten points for Lightfoot!

Back at the elementary school, Mr. Hepper gives the class a jazz lesson that no one appears to be interested in, especially Hoodsey. But Mr. Hepper's like, "Das cool, das cool." Is there anything that's not cool to him? I'm not hating, just curious. Anyway, he gives the class their end-of-the-year assignment: bury a time capsule. Idiot Higsby mistakes a "capsule" for a vitamin capsule, and Carl's too engrossed in his floating eyeball to even care. How does Mr. Hepper even allow that thing to be in the classroom? And when he requests that each student bury an item that represents the childhood they're leaving behind, Carl gets the idea to bury his eyeball. Really? Really, Carl? After all this time, you finally have that nasty thing back, and you want to bury it and never see it again? It's like if someone finally got back together with their ex they haven't seen in years, only to dump them a few hours later. Carl's going to be a major heartbreaker.

The students take a tour of the high school in small groups. Ginger's group stops by the student council club, and the members immediately recognize Ginger as the girl who got the fellowship to Avalanche Arts. Why am I not surprised they know this? Courtney plays wingman for Ginger as she talks her up to the high schoolers and it seriously looks like she's about to push her onto the desk behind her and kiss her.

Come on, Nickelodeon. There is no way you can pawn this off as a platonic gesture.

The junior high kids watch the high school band class play a song that vaguely sounds like the As Told By Ginger theme. Miranda mentions to Macie that some saxophone player with a lazy eye is totally checking her out.

"You're right. His one good eye is all over me." - Macie

The music teacher turns around and starts telling the junior high kids all about band, and my God, this guy is more flamboyant than Higsby. He actually pulls stars out of his pocket and tosses them at the school mascot, Chewy the goat, on the other side of the room. I don't do drugs, but I felt like I was tripping on some kind of Sheltered Shrubs acid when this happened because this was so out of place for this kind of show.

What is it with this gay band teacher stereotype? I mean, it's always something in the performing arts, like dance, band, or theatre. When have you ever heard of a TV show with a gay science teacher, for instance?

Chet and Darren try out for football. Who would have guessed? The coach recognizes Darren as Will's brother, who is also on the football team. As the coach gives Darren a Will-inspired noogie, Darren mentions that he doesn't even give a crap about football. Why the hell is he trying out, then?

The scene then cuts over to the cheerleaders doing some suggestive moves, and Dodie is watching with admiration. Ha! Like Dodie would ever be cheerleader. In the Nickelodeon world, cheerleading is synonymous with popularity. But it's also synonymous with bitchiness. Actually, now that I think of it, Dodie might have a chance. Unfortunately for her, the coach, who acts like she has a six-foot pole up her ass, tells her that no freshman has ever made the squad. Like ever. But Dodie is welcome to try out, probably so the upperclassmen have someone to create rumors about in the locker rooms.

Courtney walks through the hall alone, on the phone with her mama, when two upperclassmen corner her in the hall and knock her phone out of her hand. Then, they shove her into a locker. Why? Because she's rich, I guess. Jealous bitches.

I was really hoping they'd do this to Dodie.

Oh, poor Courtney. She doesn't deserve this. First Chantel and Andrea from the pool party episode, and now this. High school girls really seem to hate her. I can sort of get why they'd be a bit jealous of her, but this kind of behavior is just uncalled for. Courtney did nothing to them, or anyone else. I feel bad for her.

The junior high kids return to their own school. Ginger opens up her locker and pulls off a picture of her and Darren, revealing a heart with Ginger + Ian inside, an obvious continuity nod. This is really interesting because if you watch the show straight through, you realize that Ginger's crush on Ian was a major part of season 1, and now that Ginger is dating Darren, it's a memory for both us and Ginger. You may think, "Why didn't Ginger take that heart down after her crush on Ian ended?" Unless she etched it into her locker door (which I highly doubt goody-two-shoes Ginger would do), I suppose it's for visual storytelling. I think it's super neat.

"Wow. That was, like, ages ago." - Ginger

Miranda slithers up to the trio in the hallway and mentions that Courtney is missing. She assumes that Courtney met up with a couple of horny guys without her, and leaves in a huff. Strangely, even if Courtney wasn't stuck in that locker, my first thought would not be that she's with boys. Think about it: have you ever seen Courtney talking to any guy on the show, besides Will? She's supposedly straight, but maybe she's actually bisexual. I know I make a ton of jokes about Courtney being gay for Ginger, but now that I think about it, she might--in actuality--swing for both teams. A bold move for Nickelodeon, I must say. I can only think of one other bisexual character in the Nickelodeon world--Korra from The Legend of Korra. Except Courtney's bisexuality is hinted at by fans, but Korra's is explicitly stated by the show's creators.

Claire calls the police when she realizes Courtney is missing, and soon, search parties are formed to find her. Instead of at least attempting to find Courtney, the trio decides to talk about Macie's new eye candy instead. The scene then cuts to the guy rummaging through his locker for a new reed. Courtney hears him near, and calls out to him for help, promising to be his wingman for a girl of his choosing if he helps her down. Boy, isn't that convenient! I wonder who he's going to pick...

Hoodsey's got a bit of beef with Carl, who hasn't told Noelle that he's totally digging Polly now. Understandable--Noelle is weird in an adorable way. Polly, I believe, seriously has something wrong with her. The three meet up at a mini-golf course and Carl tries to get Polly's advice on what to put in the time capsule, since he's on the fence about putting his petrified eyeball in. And then Polly does this:

Yeeeeeah, that's disturbing. Though I'm surprised she didn't actually shove the golf balls up her vag and push them out like real eggs.

Surprisingly, Polly gives Carl some good advice--he has such an obsession with the eyeball that he's allowing it to control him. Carl denies it, but Polly insists that he's going to have to let it go. I can see it--Carl is probably worried that if he lets go of his prized eyeball, he might eventually have to give up who he is--a strange, twisted child. Perhaps that's why I still have a strong affinity for stuffed animals. My Appa plush, triceratops plush, and tiny fuzzy penguin all sit on my bed with me all the time. Basically, Carl is just afraid to grow up.

Meanwhile, Noelle watches the three from the back, loathing the untrustworthy Polly with every fiber in her being. When is she going to do some telekinetic stuff again? I miss that.

So, the guy rescues Courtney from the locker, and Courtney tells her story to the press, embellishing a few details here and there (more like every detail). She's probably too embarrassed to admit that some people actually don't like her and will actually try to hurt her. At least she gives credit to the guy who rescued her, who reveals his name as Andrew.

Ginger expresses her discomfort with all of these new changes to Lois, who gives her the same advice that she takes when dieting. Basically, it's just to allow yourself to experience the change because even though things may seem good where they are, down the line, life will be better with the changes. I seriously love these mother-daughter talks. Every time Lois and Ginger have a moment, I feel like I'm learning something new that I've always known before.

Back in the junior high school, we're introduced to a one-off character, Leandra.

Leandra's voice actor is actually played by a girl named Leandra Argyros, a fan of the show, who had a bone marrow illness. As part of the Make-A-Wish foundation, she wished she could be a character on As Told By Ginger. So, here she is. She has only a few sentences of dialogue about positive thinking, but at least her mouth is in the correct position on her face.

Dodie runs off to bother Leandra with her stupid new cheer moves and Macie runs off to make googly eyes with Andrew, leaving Ginger all alone in the hallway.

It's the day Mr. Hepper's class buries their prized, dollar-store possessions in the time capsule. He makes a speech before everyone places their items inside, one by one, desperately hoping Polly is right.

"This is sick. Sick, sick, sick." - Hoodsey

The trio gets their class schedules and decides to open them together. Wait, hold on... gotta add this face to my collection of "Ugly Dodie Faces:"

How are the animators not laughing their asses off when they draw these faces?

Darren joins in the revelries, too. Unfortunately, they're not in any classes together. Totally distressing! They turn to the admin and request that she moves around 200 other students' schedules to place them all in the same exact classes, but the admin lady's like, "Tough shit. Get used to the real world, kiddos." Harsh, lady. Give these kids a break. Though her advice is pretty sound; too bad they won't appreciate it until they're in college.

This is really bizarre. The universe is trying to do whatever it can to keep these fools away from each other for the good of the show, but Ginger and her friends insist on staying together. Well, looks like the universe will win this time, because the admin lady isn't about to go rearrange their schedules just do they can settle into high school easily. Did you girls think high school would be a basket of fluffy kittens?

Ginger becomes so pissed and stressed over all the changes that she storms out of the school with an attitude. If she thinks life is moving too fast now, wait until she hits college graduation and can't find a job for six months.

Carl visits the hospital with a bouquet of flowers for Lois as a symbol of his maturity. However, his temptation for mischief is getting to him. Carl is trying so hard to grow up that he's beginning to lose himself. He even yells at Hoodsey for stealing an empty wheelchair and taking it for a joyride, something he would have killed for the first season. But this won't last long. This is Carl Foutley. And if there's one thing I learned about guys, it's that they never grow up, they just get bigger. And grow some facial hair.

Doctor Dave invites the boys to the cafeteria for dinner for some scrumptious leftover mystery meat and sugarless Jell-O. Carl's heart nearly melts when Lois says she's proud of him. Though I'm pretty sure she's just relieved that he didn't sneak into the operating room and steal a patient's ruptured appendix. Oh, and Doctor Dave is lovin' Carl's lime Jell-O inside a baked potato.

While Ginger struggles to write her speech at the park, she falls asleep and has some fucked up dreams. Except Dodie gets nailed in the face with a football. Boo-yah!

Jonas's dog, Ben, licks Ginger awake, and he runs off to chase some squirrels while Jonas and Ginger have a talk about graduation. I'm surprised he's actually going to show up. Ginger tells Jonas how she doesn't want to go to high school and leave her dorky friends behind, but then Jonas makes a point of how it's not healthy to hold on to something that's destined to fly away, and he does this by squeezing a poor, defenseless butterfly into the palm of his hand. Dick. No, the butterfly is fine, but his point is that Ginger has to let go of her fears if she ever has any chance of moving forward and making better friends.

Jonas also tells Ginger about a legend that if you tell a wish to a butterfly, it'll carry the wish up to the sky and a spirit will grant it. Really? That's something you tell a child who's 4, not 14. I know it's supposed to be a nice gesture, but come on. This is what happens when you're a deadbeat dad; you're so out of the loop in your kids' lives that you don't even know how old they are.

So, Ginger makes a wish and sets the butterfly free. Hopefully, she wished for Dodie to be transferred to military school.

That night, Carl has a nightmare about him and Hoodsey growing old as balls, and that Polly bulldozes the doghouse down. And that's the kicker that he has to return to his old, weird self again.

Nickelodeon always portrays growing old as boring, dull, and something to avoid. Perhaps they should watch The Golden Girls.

So, Carl and Hoodsey bike to the school to dig up the time capsule. Polly is already there, though, digging it up so she can steal everyone's stuff. Seriously, what a creepy girl. Higsby and Blake come by to dig up their possessions as well. How no security guards ever caught them on school property at midnight is beyond me.

The really sad moment of this scene is when Noelle rides by on a box scooter, looks over the hill at Carl, cries, and pulls off her little Carl finger puppet she's had for so long. It flies off in his direction as Noelle rides away, heartbroken as ever. Oh, poor girl.

I sincerely feel bad for Noelle. She truly does care for Carl, and now it's like she has given up on him completely. However, if Noelle knew that Polly was so dishonest, a "snake" as she put it, she should have told Carl before he got close with Polly. Sigh... is it so bad that I want Carl and Noelle to get back together, and want Ginger and Darren to break up?

Holy hell in Helsinki, how did Lois lose all that weight that fast?! She was obese a few scenes ago! And how can I steal her secrets?!

Ehh, I say the same thing every episode of The Biggest Loser and Extreme Weight Loss. Regardless of how many diet pills she took and meals she skipped, she looks fantastic! I'm glad that Lois lost all that weight, though it probably would have made more of an impact if those extra 50+ pounds were causing her health to suffer. And it also would have been more realistic if her diet was an ongoing thing over the course of at lest 6 or 7 episodes. Ah, it doesn't matter.

It's the day of graduation, and everyone is in high spirits. Ginger and Dodie hug, and oooh, check out the super sassy Macie!

Loving the hair. Loving the contact lenses. Loving the confidence. Go, Macie!

Macie then sees her piece of beef and waves to him, knocking Dodie over the way the football did in Ginger's dream. Oh, sweet, sweet karma!

So, Ginger apologizes to Darren, he promises to be by her side at all times, gives her a tiny flower, and the ceremony begins. Oh, hey, look--Mipsy's wearing an eyepatch! Nice continuity nod from when she deservedly got nailed in the eye!

And Jonas actually did show up at a school function! Does this mean we're supposed to accept him as a doting father now? Ginger begins her speech about how everyone came to Lucky Junior High as puberty-stricken weirdos who couldn't figure out how to conduct themselves in public and are now leaving as butterflies. Then, she opens up a cardboard box, releasing hundreds of colorful, pretty butterflies. Hence, butterflies are free--literally and figuratively.

And Mipsy falls backwards in her chair trying to catch a butterfly. Clumsy ditz.

And thus, the students are now junior high graduates with diplomas on their way in the mail.

"Don't let her get too far away from me, okay?" - Lois

Right before the credits roll, scenes from previous episodes play to close out Ginger, Dodie, Macie, and Darren's descent from Lucky Junior High. Congratulations, Luckians!



Lessons Learned From This Episode: the longer you try to hold on to something, the harder it will be to let it go; don't grow up too fast; never trust Polly Schuster.