tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39556551248262492242024-03-20T11:37:53.943-04:00As Told By Ginger: Reviewed!All 60 episodes are critiqued, praised, and subjected to unbiased analysis.
Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-77766080938166592172015-12-31T11:57:00.002-05:002022-10-22T10:39:34.713-04:00As Told by Ginger: Looking BackSo, it's been months since I posted a new review or countdown list for this blog. In the back of my mind, I felt that this blog needed a proper close, and what better time to do it than on New Year's Eve (at least, in the western hemisphere of the world).<br />
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Looking back on what made <i>As Told by Ginger </i>so great, it's hard not to think of at least a good handful of reasons off the top of your head. Its originality, well-developed characters, realistic drama--it all contributes to this highly underrated show that's chock-full of life lessons everyone could have used growing up.<br />
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It's a shame that when people talk about their favorite Nickelodeon shows from their childhood, you hear everything from <i>Rugrats </i>to <i>Catdog </i>to the questionable-for-kids <i>Ren and Stimpy.</i> Never have I heard anyone mention <i>As Told by Ginger</i>, which is a shame. True, while Nickelodeon is not known for airing tween animated drama-comedy hybrids (its main focus being on live-action rich teens desperate to rise to fame), it still boggles my mind as to why this show rarely ever comes up in conversation when people discuss 90s/early 2000s Nickelodeon.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, Ginger, I feel the lack of love for your show, too.</td></tr>
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This is also part of the reason why I wanted to do this blog. While, yes, I originally wanted to rip apart a more popular Nickelodeon show back in 2014, I still think doing a review of <i>As Told by Ginger </i>was the better choice. Here, there's an entire website deep in the backroads of the Internet dedicated to this virtually unknown tween dramedy. I just wanted to give <i>Ginger </i>the love it deserves, even though there are quite a number of moments that make my blood boil and bubble like the three witches' cauldron in <i>Macbeth</i>.<br />
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Fire burn and cauldron bubble! Hey, Dodie, want a free spa treatment? >=)<br />
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And yet, even with <i>As Told by Ginger</i>'s flaws, it makes me love the show even more. Now that I think about it, the completely illogical and unrealistic resolution in "Dodie's Big Break" is kind of a lesson in of itself--life is unfair. People get undeserved chances. People suck. Now, this may be an abstract way of looking at the cringe-worthy episodes, but you have to admit--would it be as much fun ripping apart Dodie if she got the karma she so desperately deserved?<br />
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I know I joked a lot about how it would have been awesome to see an episode where Ginger and Dodie break off their friendship for good and Dodie gets sent to an asylum (and I <i>still </i>think that would be a great episode idea!) but if you think about it, wouldn't that conflict the entire message of the show? <i>As Told by Ginger </i>is grounded in realism, and in real life, justice is not always served. Perhaps that's why I never cared much for superhero movies. And if that's what Emily Kapnek intended when she wrote the show, then I just might have to give her a standing ovation--it wasn't that it was bad writing--it was <i>truthful </i>writing.<br />
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So, perhaps those flaws I meticulously picked out weren't really flaws at all. Of course, no show is <i>flawless--</i>but rather, its flaws were intentional.<br />
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So, every time you see Dodie with her big, fat, purple smile, it's most likely done out of intention.<br />
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And just like Dodie was struck with the lucky stick repeatedly by the devil himself, Courtney Gripling, unfortunately, got the opposite treatment. As someone as kind and generous as Courtney was, of course she didn't deserve the abuse and robbery of wealth that came with her development, further fueling the overall message of this show that <i>life isn't fair. </i><br />
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But of course, the show isn't <i>that </i>depressing that all we get is the negative side of what life throws at us. There were times when goodness reigned over grief. In "Fair to Cloudy," Ginger realized that inviting Darren along to her "best friend tradition" of going to the county fair every year was a terrible idea--not because she was breaking tradition, but because he just didn't belong in every aspect of Ginger's life. And instead of the show teaching us that "everyone is equal and deserves to join in everything, yadda yadda yadda..." we're left with the realization that it's okay to keep some things the same.<br />
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Just because you have a new boyfriend or girlfriend or puppy or whatever doesn't mean they're automatically entitled to butt into every aspect of your life since you are now associated with them. And it's one of those moments that we realize, "Hey, you know, maybe "justice" isn't needed <i>everywhere.</i>" I'm sure you wouldn't want to take <i>all </i>of your friends to <i>every</i> movie, convention, party, or villainous crime spree you go on. Not because you don't love all your friends, but because some things are more suited to a certain group of friends, and a little bit of tradition and stagnancy is perfectly fine and nothing you should feel obligated to change.<br />
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And sure, we get the traditional life lessons about growing up, staying true to yourself, and following your passion, but that's not what this show is about. Otherwise, I could understand why this show would be forgettable. But <i>As Told by Ginger </i>brings us another dimension of realism, a dimension that we don't like to admit, even to ourselves sometimes, and it's what makes the show great.<br />
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Now, if people would just look past at how "ugly" the character designs are, they just might see that there is definitely something worth watching at least one run through. Luckily, I have readers like you who have kept this blog alive that brought me to this moment in time where I could say this.<br />
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But always remember, it could have been worse; the characters could have ended up looking like this:<br />
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That's all I have to say to bring this blog to a close. It was truly a pleasure writing this blog from top to bottom. And while I'm officially closing up this blog to new posts, I'll still be around, working on <i>Hey Arnold! </i>Reviewed every week. If this is completely new to you, here's the link to the blog:<br />
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http://heyarnoldreviewed.blogspot.com/<br />
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So, while this isn't an official goodbye, it's a silent wave goodbye to <i>As Told by Ginger: Reviewed!</i><br />
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Someone once told me the grass was much greener... on the other side.<br /><br /><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-37789083225344830012015-10-25T13:54:00.005-04:002022-10-22T10:56:52.608-04:00Happy 15th Anniversary, ATBG! Let's Celebrate with the Best and Worst Characters ListGet out your novelty petrified eyeballs and ice cream cone wallpaper--today marks the 15th anniversary of when our favorite show of all time, <i>As Told by Ginger, </i>premiered on Nickelodeon!<br />
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I have to say, I was going to surprise you guys with something better. I had planned on setting up a video of me talking about <i>As Told by Ginger </i>and its best and worst characters, but I've been sick for the past few days and barely even feel like getting out of bed, let alone speaking, so I haven't been able to set up a proper video. However, I'll be leaving Blogger open all day today after this review is posted, so if you want to shoot me some questions or want to discuss <i>As Told by Ginger </i>with me, I'll be able to get back to you in the comments section of this post quickly.<br />
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Excuse me for being a total n0ob with technology. I'm not the tech-y type.<br />
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As an alternate means of celebration, I'll be listing my candidates for the top 5 best and worst characters this show has to offer. Oh, and as a rule, no one-off characters are allowed on this list, since they are too underdeveloped to count. So, here we go:<br />
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If you've been following this blog, my top 5 candidates for worst (as well as most hated) characters should be no surprise to you. These are the people who make the show so grating to watch, and would seriously be better off if someone just knocked them on their asses and told them to SHUT UP. The most irritating five--the people I wished would just get off my screen so we could focus on better characters--are:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#5 - Miranda Killgallen</span><br />
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Courtney's right-hand woman and unofficial best friend for reasons not even Courtney knows, Miranda is truly one of a kind. I never understood why exactly she hated Ginger so much. Okay, so maybe she was jealous of her because Courtney liked spending time with Ginger instead of her, but as we've seen, even when Courtney isn't dry-humping Ginger when she's not looking, Miranda still feels a ball of rage in the pit of her stomach any time anyone even utters "Curly red hair." I bet she hates <i>Little Orphan Annie</i>, too.<br />
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Everything Miranda does and says is merely to spite Ginger. While it's true a lot of people on this show are obsessed with Ginger, Miranda is obsessed with her for the sole purpose of destroying her. If this was a superhero show, Miranda would be the arch nemesis. Even her name sounds diabolical. Miranda <i>Kill</i>gallen. It's a strange thing that Miranda is built up as this one-dimensional bully, but the fact that she has a blowhard for a father, a mother who has never been mentioned or shown, and no real friends, it makes me wonder what exactly goes on at home to make her act the way she does.<br />
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See, Miranda wouldn't actually be so bad if she had a legitimate reason to hate Ginger. Kind of like how Carl has an actual reason (albeit a bit unreasonable) to hate Jonas. But because we are given no context, other than the fact that Miranda wants Courtney all to herself, she is automatically unable to be sympathized with and comes off as bat-shit crazy in her little plots to destroy Ginger's life. I mean, if we follow that logic, why doesn't Miranda have a steaming hatred for the other girls Courtney talks to? She has a whole circle of friends (read: mindless followers) that share just as much, if not more attention than Ginger. So, why is the target on Ginger's forehead?<br />
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Not to mention, Miranda is potentially abusive. Remember in "Never Can Say Goodbye" when Darren got his headbrace removed and became an instant stud? He and Miranda started dating, and boy was Miranda abusive! She threatened Darren, called him names, and forced him into doing things he really didn't want to do just because they were Miranda's twisted idea of what a romantic relationship consists of. She needs serious therapy before she puts someone in the hospital.<br />
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And while once in a gray moon I feel a twinge of sympathy for Miranda (Courtney really is the only friend she has), I still hate her because she chooses to be a bitch, and outright says she <i>enjoys </i>it. Anyone who derives satisfaction from others' misery needs to be sent away from society for a very, <i>very </i>long time.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#4 - Brandon Higsby</span><br />
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This little shit makes a mockery of flamboyant boys everywhere. From his eardrum-scraping, high-pitched voice to his poor little monkey who desperately tries to escape him on a daily basis, is there anything <i>good </i>to say about Brandon Higsby?<br />
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I mean sure, before Carl stepped up in the third season, Higsby didn't have any real friends. Most likely because he's annoying, fake, and downright embarrassing to watch. If a circus could be packed into one person, it would be Higsby--the ringleader, elephants, and cotton candy bits littering the floor so much that you have pink fluff stuck to the bottom of your shoe forever. But in all seriousness, Higsby is <i>grating. </i>He's a total brown-noser, especially to Mrs. Gordon (and later to Mr. Hepper) just to force-feed this idea of what a "good little boy" he is.<br />
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In "The "A" Ticket," remember how Higsby competed with Carl and Hoodsey for the glockenspiel solo for Mr. Ludlow Krantz? When the old coot suddenly collapses on stage, Higsby doesn't run for help or try to see what's wrong. He just runs out of the auditorium yelling "I'm a good boy!" like the little chicken shit he is. Or how about the time he unleashes Mr. Licorice on Hoodsey and knocked him into an amnesiac concussion--and had absolutely no qualms about it? Or when he tried to break Carl and Hoodsey's spines by throwing marbles under their feet so they'd slip and fall and be forced to accept an invite to Higsby's nerdy birthday party? Huh. Yeah. Sounds like a saint to me!<br />
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While I will admit Higsby can be entertaining at times, I honestly just wish this little bug would buy a one-way ticket to Nickelodeon Hell, because that's where I feel like I've entered every time Higsby enters the scene. He serves no purpose to the show except to be the butt of everyone's jokes, and I feel that's a horrible character motivation. It's like the storyboarders and writers didn't know what to do with Higsby, but wanted to make him part of the show, so they decided to give him what I call the Meg Griffin treatment.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#3 - Mipsy Mipsen</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>Just when I thought Higsby's voice was enough to make me cover my ears and hum white noise.<br />
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Mipsy is like a live Barbie doll. No, not like Barbie in those horrible Barbie movies that seem to come out in droves. I mean, if you took your little sister's Barbie doll, brushed her hair, and put the brush in the middle of a pentagram and accidentally made her come to life (yes, this is a direct reference to <i>Life-Size</i>), Mipsy would be the result. Though I don't think she would be lying next to you in bed with a creepy smile. Unless you are Joaquin.<br />
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If Courtney didn't exist, Mipsy would be the head honcho of popularity in the Lucky school district. She surfaced as the main bitch around the end of season 2 once Courtney started to realize Miranda wasn't worth keeping around anymore. Mipsy, though, has even less of a reason to hate Ginger. She has no reason to be threatened by Ginger because she--to my surprise--has friends. So, why would she agree to help Miranda get Ginger transferred to Avalanche Arts? Just for shits and giggles? I know that it's not so much <i>mean </i>as it is insane, but it's the implication. Mipsy is a successful social climber who will do whatever it takes to get to Courtney's level of popularity. And if that means eliminating the competition, then she's game.<br />
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But again, what does Mipsy need to be mean to Ginger for? While I know the cliche about popular girls being total bitches is alive and well in this show, Mipsy just clogs the show. We already have Miranda as the bitch who's jealous and mean for no reason. Why do we need another one? She's the female equivalent to Higsby, and had no reason to be in the show at all.<br />
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But oh, her voice. Especially when she's trying to act. What's with all the upward inflections and unnatural speech patterns? I don't know if it's because that's how she's supposed to sound, or it's bad voice acting on her voice actor's part.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#2 - Buzz Harris</span><br />
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You know, I actually didn't mind Buzz during the first few minutes of "TGIF," when he first premiered. He actually seemed like a genuinely sweet guy who was just a little bit backwards. I would have been totally fine with that, had he stayed that way throughout the rest of the series. But then everyone realized, "Hey, Buzz could make a cool antagonist instead of a one-off character." And thus, his character underwent flanderization real fast. There became nothing likeable about him, and this was noticeable because within the span of two episodes "TGIF" and "Mrs. Foutley's Boys," we learned that Buzz isn't just a hick with a hammer--he's a neglectful "macho man" with serious respect issues--and nowhere does he ever stop and think that he could be wrong. And for that, he is one of my most hated characters.<br />
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Here's a little hint, writers: if you're trying to make a complex character who's unlikeable but not hated by fans, try method writing. Choose someone from your own life who pisses you off, but is lovable deep down. A person with genuinely good intentions but goes about their actions in a horrible way is a good start. Or, at the very least, a person with bad intentions who can sometimes show that he can be humane is a good place to start, too. And do not change their personality traits without reason.<br />
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For Buzz to change from a strange, albeit sweet guy to a total jerkass with no sense of responsibility or respect is just awful. I feel sorry for his kids. What kind of grown man doesn't take care of his children? He sees that they're constantly beating each other up and fucking up their trailer, and thinks, "Oh, my boys are so manly!" Buzz wouldn't be so bad if someone had acknowledged how neglectful of a father he is and how much of an asshole towards Lois he is, but because his scenes are just played for laughs, as if we're just supposed to accept Buzz how he is, it makes him even more unlikable. Because he will never learn. Imagine how his kids are going to be when they grow up. At best, they'll be sitting in jail wishing they had a father who had taught them how to be real men, and not just let them run loose high on sugar rushes. At worst, they'll be dead, probably from firing firecrackers in each other's faces.<br />
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<b>Honorable Mentions:</b><br />
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<b>Mrs. Dave (Doctor Dave's Mother)</b><br />
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Typical one-dimensional mother-in-law who hates her son's choice of wife. Why is this such a common thing on TV? Not every mother-in-law hates their child's spouse. I think Doctor Dave's Mother is just supposed to be a curmudgeon in general, but she just takes it to levels that would get her punched in the face. Seriously, who asks a fourteen-year-old why she invited her "mother's ex-husband" to dinner?!<br />
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<b>Ian Richton</b><br />
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Typical brainless jock hottie. The only time I ever actually thought brainless hottie was a good character was Ethan Craft on <i>Lizzie McGuire. </i>But that's only because he was funny. And a decent guy. Ian is neither of those--proven in "The "A" Ticket."<br />
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<b>Sasha</b><br />
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Have I mentioned that Sasha seems like the kind of guy who would randomly text a dick pic to a girl, and then call her a lesbian bitch when she doesn't respond with an offer for sex? I believe I said some variation of it. That's the kind of vibe I get from Sasha.<br />
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And now, my #1 pick for worst character in the series:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#1 - Deirdre "Dodie" Hortense Bishop</span><br />
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I'll try to keep this description short, otherwise I'll have to write a book on why Dodie deserves the #1 spot. And I'm already way behind on my science fiction series.<br />
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Where to begin? Dodie is an interesting character... if "interesting" was a conglomerate of pus-filled mosquito bites showing up in patches all over your body, that is. As a desperate social-climbing, popularity-obsessed wannabe (as Ginger once described Joann), Dodie is a clone of her mother, except I wish I knew who was worse so I can know where the blame lies.<br />
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While Dodie has shown to have humane moments, they're rare and insignificant. I don't think I've ever encountered a character who deserves so much hatred as Dodie does. She is the epitome of everything I despise in a person. Sneaky, deceitful, and desperate to get her name and face out there for people to admire despite having no redeeming qualities whatsoever, she would make a successful politician one day.<br />
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I'm not sure if there's anything new I can add to this description that hasn't already been said before in the episode reviews, like in the previous descriptions of hated characters. But let me just sum it up for you: Dodie is a <i>child. </i>She has the mentality of someone who never got attention when she was younger, and is now making up for it by being a plague to the show. She would do anything, <i>anything </i>just for a taste of attention. You know those pop-up ads with the blinking lights and colors, and you can swear they're screaming, "Look at me! Look at me!"? That's Dodie.<br />
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While we know her desperation for acceptance is in her blood, it doesn't justify her behavior. Wanting to be popular and trying to make friends with the popular kids is fine. Manipulating your friends--who stand by you no matter what fucked up things you do to them--and crying when you don't get what you want because you want it <i>sooooo </i>much is just downright pathetic. The fact that Ginger and Macie stuck with Dodie for this long is probably what caused Dodie to become worse as the series went on, because in her mind, <i>nothing </i>Dodie does can tear her friendship with Ginger and Macie apart, giving her free range to do whatever the hell she wants with no repercussions.<br />
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Not to mention, the premiere of "Dodie's Big Break" was probably the reason why we have so many entitled kids in this generation. I still hate that episode with every fiber in my being. The only episode that could probably top it is if one was made with Dodie groping Joaquin against his will, and Dodie ends up getting away with practically raping him just because she wants him <i>sooooo </i>much. And because we all know that girls can most certainly get away with rape much more easily than guys can. Sick.<br />
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And thus, there is no reason <i>not </i>to hate Dodie.<br />
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<b>And now, the top 5 BEST characters in the show:</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#5 - Noelle Sussman</span><br />
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Starting off as a nobody to one of the most entertaining characters of the series, Noelle Sussman is like no other. </div>
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I was, at first, afraid that Noelle's telekinesis would be the crux of her character instead of just part of her character, but thankfully, it's not as sensationalized. I mean, after the first couple of times, we would have started to grow bored with Noelle's telekinesis, so I'm glad that it was used in balance with her quirkiness. </div>
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I only wish that Noelle and Carl's relationship had lasted longer, because they were truly adorable together. For Noelle to be a "weird" girl, she's not all that weird, actually. She is a child, and truthfully, kids are weird. No weirder than Noelle. Now if you want to talk about someone who truly is weird, let's talk about Polly Schuster (but at another time. This is Noelle's spotlight). </div>
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Noelle, like Carl, is altruistic deep down, and she has shown to have good intentions, mainly in "The Wedding Frame," when she helped prove that Doctor Dave was being set up. She's the kind of girl I would love to hang out with (along with Laetitia Bowers). I want to read <i>Entertaining Penguins. </i>Sounds like it would be a fun read.</div>
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All in all, Noelle is just awesome, and she never fails to bring a smile to my face whenever she pops up in an episode.</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#4 - Lois Foutley</span><br />
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Ah, Lois Foutley! The greatest mother Nickelodeon had the pleasure of providing us with. Sarcastic, funny, and with a thick Bah-ston accent, what is there not to love about Lois?<br />
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It was easy to add Lois to the list of the top 5 greatest characters on <i>As Told by Ginger </i>because she is just like no other TV mother. She seems so real and so full of heart that I often wish she was my own mother. <br />
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One of my favorite episodes with her is in "The Nurses' Strike," which is also one of my favorite episodes of the series. Lois shows the world that there's no shame in doing grunt work, and that anyone who is ashamed should just stop it, because a job is a job, and we are not defined by how we choose to make a living. Speaking off of that, Lois offers Ginger (and us) some of the best advice life has to offer us. She's been down the road of adulthood, and knows when to pick your battles and when to take action. And knowing that just might be one of the most important things we learn about life.<br />
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Although there are times when she is a bit unreasonable without explanation (like not letting Ginger try makeup or shave her legs), Lois is a wonderful mother to both Ginger and Carl. She's probably the reason why Carl turned out as good as he is. Had anyone else raised him, and he would have been another Harris hick kid, probably.<br />
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Not to mention, I love the little details that show Lois's age. Like her getting up off the floor and shouting about her back hurting, or hearing her yelling at Carl through Ginger's air vents--those little details really add a nice touch to Lois's character, and she's all the more Lois Foutley with each and every one of them.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#3 - Carl Foutley</span><br />
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Normally, I'm not a fan of spin-offs, but I would totally watch the hell out of Carl's spin-off if he had one. I would call it <i>The Doghouse</i>, and it would be all about Carl and Hoodsey's new adventures in their updated doghouse in the backyard of Carl's new fancy McMansion.<br />
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I love Carl, everyone. Carl is a cool kid. Carl is the kind of kid I wish I was (well, not completely) because he was just so creative and confident, and overall just a happy kid who wanted to have fun. He started off as the "annoying little brother," but once I really started noticing just how caring and deep he can be, Carl became one of my all-time favorite characters.<br />
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Remember in "Family Therapy" when Carl was finally faced with a fear? He tackled that fear until it was buried into the dirt. By proving to himself that naked mole rats were nothing to be afraid of, and with a little help from Hoodsey, Carl was able to discover another creature to love. Of course, his live for animals didn't always turn out great. Like when he tried to save the orca whales by flushing vegetables down the toilet--that was nothing more than a pipe dream. No pun intended.<br />
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Yes, sometimes Carl was a bit of an ass, especially to Blake, but what kid isn't annoying once in a while? The fact that Carl is a loving kid who wants to make Lois happy is heartwarming (I'm still shedding tears when he revealed that he just wanted to find a nice house for everyone despite his desire for a "house of horrors"). And in "A Lesson in Tightropes" when Carl was wrestling with his belief in "The Big Guy Upstairs" and his fears of Lois and Jonas getting back together, well, that's a lot for anyone to handle, especially considering Carl hadn't even started puberty yet. He still didn't understand all his feelings and so much was thrown at him.<br />
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Overall, Carl is one of the best characters this show has to offer. Put him in a scene with Lois, and you won't be disappointed.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#2 - Courtney Gripling</span><br />
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Courtney broke the rich girl stereotype in half. That alone is worthy of attention.<br />
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One thing I never mentioned is that Courtney is a bit like Dodie. Desperate to keep up her popularity status, has breakdowns when she isn't getting attention, and is willing to take others down to build herself back up. Except Courtney is naturally charismatic and cool, not because she's rich, but because she genuinely cares about people. Think back on how many times Courtney has tried to include Ginger in her circle of friends. I still wholeheartedly believe it's because she has some romantic feelings towards her, because why else would someone like Courtney take an interest in plain ole Ginger? Then again, she's not the only one. It must be that curly red hair.<br />
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Of course, Courtney has shown to be a bitch at times. Dumb, absent-minded, and just plain lacking in common sense are all things that would accurately describe her. Snobbish, even. But as she got older, she started appreciating the little things more, like helping to nurse lambs at the country fair. That was just freaking adorable. Courtney's excitement for middle-class lifestyles gives her an edge over every other popular girl who's ever graced children's TV, and that's admirable considering Courtney could have easily turned into someone as hateable as Miranda.<br />
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I was most impressed with Courtney in "Wicked Game" when she didn't hesitate to tell Ginger that Dodie and Macie were actively trying to sabotage her relationship with Darren. None of that "Uh, I have something to tell you. Oh, nevermind!" She comes right out and says it like a mature, honest person, someone who would make an excellent best friend. Sadly, I'm still bummed that Ginger and Courtney never became best friends, because the show could have been so much better if "Wicked Game" ended with a more logical resolution. Oh, well. There's always fan fiction.<br />
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<b>Honorable Mentions:</b><br />
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<b>Ginger Foutley</b><br />
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Our main character is, of course, going to be a favorite of mine. Although there are times I want to shake her by the shoulders, Ginger is a smart girl who knows what she wants out of life, and always sticks to her "I'd rather be nice than be popular" mantra. You know what? Maybe that's part of the reason why she and Courtney never became closer friends.<br />
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<b>Macie Lightfoot</b><br />
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Some of the show's best one-liners come from Macie. She's underrated, but still not as great as she could be since she always remains neutral in every Ginger-Dodie dispute. However, I love her spirit and her boost of confidence in "Come Back Little Seal Girl." Macie had so much potential, and even though we only got to see it in small handfuls throughout the series, I still love her.<br />
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And the #1 best character is:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#1 - Joann Bishop</span><br />
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What can I say? Joann is truly a masterpiece of a character. It's quite surprising, even to me, that her daughter ended up as #1 on the Worst Character countdown list while Joann surpassed everyone as the best character.<br />
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The thing about Joann is that, with the exception of Lois, she seems like someone Emily Kapnek knew in real life, which is why her personality is so complex. And for that, I always enjoy watching her.<br />
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Joann is fun to poke and prod. Although it's never outright mentioned, I believe Joann is a deeply-religious Christian woman, miserable for never accomplishing what she wanted in life, and is projecting her miserable attitude on her husband and kids. It takes strong writing to actually make a typically unlikable character so likable, and I believe Emily Kapnek and everyone else who worked on this show did a terrific job to make Joann someone I want to know more about.<br />
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I also love how Joann is a magnet for the risque dialogue on this show, as someone as haughty and hush as her surely is getting the long end of the tongue-in-cheek jokes. I suppose that's what makes it funnier--you wouldn't expect that kind of stuff from Joann. Kind of like how you wouldn't expect a nun to pull an AK-47 out from under her robes or a Terminator-like character to have a weakness for fluffy kittens. Plus, unlike Dodie, Joann's nasty behavior is the result of her finally accepting that she was a horrible child and deserved to be unhappy from all the shit she caused in her youth, while Dodie has yet to realize that very same thing.<br />
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And that's it, folks. Those are my top 5 most hated and top 5 favorite characters. Tell me your most hated and favorite characters!Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-38447957698257052522015-10-12T19:24:00.003-04:002022-10-22T10:57:17.020-04:00Casual Chats Interview/Podcast With Old School LaneWhat's happening, guys? In case you didn't get the memo, I recently did a podcast interview with Patricia from Old School Lane all about <i>As Told by Ginger </i>and my writing in general, so come check it out below! Oh, keep in mind that this was my first ever interview, so if I sound nervous and shaky, I was. Social anxiety is awful. Anyway, enjoy!<br />
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/xytw9amr_7k/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xytw9amr_7k?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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Oh, and make sure you also check out Old School Lane on YouTube and on Blogspot:<br />
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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_mDJ4TFmC_2sVRWthSm5Qg<br />
http://oldschoollane.blogspot.com/Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-42621846072181342212015-09-27T22:37:00.004-04:002022-10-22T10:57:40.563-04:00Out-Of-Context Screenshots Photo Gallery<span><a name='more'></a></span>Here is the ultimate collection of the best screenshots from the series that, when taken out of context, get a giggle or two out of me, either because what's shown is a hilarious shot, or if you show them to someone who has never seen the show, they'll be like, "WTF?". What are your favorite screenshots? E-mail or comment with a link to your best out-of-context screenshots for a chance for them to be added to the gallery!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9PFT-s7fRFg6993AF-nWsLLNf92XZd_5kwe81tJSUl3R3hHmr-YIb8cGbvph2-SkLOUotRj6md1tZJyMj-gzEOCNgIYSMEovYW3XlQtKtccFk4xjfDGY79h1uHExgAj0Hqp-JC0gnEhA/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9PFT-s7fRFg6993AF-nWsLLNf92XZd_5kwe81tJSUl3R3hHmr-YIb8cGbvph2-SkLOUotRj6md1tZJyMj-gzEOCNgIYSMEovYW3XlQtKtccFk4xjfDGY79h1uHExgAj0Hqp-JC0gnEhA/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">**My personal favorite**</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-36306229261037564082015-09-12T17:55:00.005-04:002022-10-22T10:57:48.347-04:00Top 5 Best ATBG EpisodesYou've seen my top 5 worst <i>As Told by Ginger </i>episodes. Now, let's move on to the best the show has to offer:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#5: "The Nurses' Strike"</span><br />
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Initially, this episode got on my nerves because of how Ginger was acting. She was so humiliated over Lois "lowering" herself to cleaning peoples' houses in order to get by while the nurses' strike runs its course. My question is: what exactly is so humiliating about Lois being a housemaid? Is it the connotation of being dowdy and poor? Is it the stereotype that house cleaners are only good for cleaning and nothing else? It was never outright explained why Ginger was actually embarrassed (other than the fact that she thought people would feel sorry for her), but at her age, I can sort-of understand.<br />
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What makes this episode great is how much closer Ginger and Lois grow after spending all this extra time together. Lois has no shame in cleaning, and she never shows it, because she knows a job is a job, and that there's nothing wrong with making money by benefiting other people. When I first watched this episode, I felt a lot less contempt for janitors, dishwashers, and other maintenance staff. Not that I scoffed at those jobs before, but I started appreciating them more for the work they put in. And it's not like cleaning is a scornful job in the first place. Do you realize that, without people to maintain cleanliness and order, every store, school, and office we walk into would be a filthy dump? Considering people like Lois enjoy cleaning, if we had more people appreciate blue-collar work in general (you know, the behind-the-scenes people), we might be more apt to do it ourselves.<br />
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My favorite line from this episode is when Lois tells Ginger that Courtney's family can't make her feel bad about cleaning because she <i>doesn't </i>feel bad about it. There is just so much power in that one line. I love it. And I love how Lois never put down janitorial work, but rather embraced it. I also think that's why I felt great every morning after leaving my college's printmaking studio. I'd remember this episode, and remind myself I'm doing a good job so other people could work in a clean environment. Who would have thought such fantastic words of wisdom one could use the rest of their lives would come from an episode about starting up a cleaning business?<br />
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<b>tl;dr Version: There is no shame in doing grunt work of any kind, and no one should make you feel bad about doing it.</b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: x-large;">#4: "Hello Stranger"</span><br />
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This is one of the first sequential episodes that really showed <i>As Told by Ginger</i>'s depth. Just to refresh your memory, Lucky Junior High is hosting a fall festival where students can exploit their own talents for their parents to see. Ginger decides to write a poem, and decides she wants her dad, Jonas, to be there. Why? Because she misses her daddy-o.<br />
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She had called Jonas and left him a message inviting him to the festival, but he never returned her call. Still, Ginger had hoped he would show up. And thus begins the all-too-depressing facts of life.<br />
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In this episode, we learned that sometimes people are just flaky, and they're not part of your life for a reason. I believe I mentioned that this was a good lesson for Jonas to have not shown up, because if he had, there wouldn't have been any point to the episode. Dad sends letter to daughter. Daughter invites dad to festival. Dad shows up. Daughter reads poem about how much she missed Dad. Hugs. <i>Boooooring! </i>It's fantastic how the show wasn't afraid to elicit an emotion other than the brain-dead stare of neutrality whenever we watch TV. What made it even better is that Lois sent Ginger flowers in Jonas's name to try to make her feel better, even though Ginger knew they weren't from him. There's just so much excellence in this one episode that I cannot believe the show decided to eventually bring him out and make him try to be part of Ginger's life again.<br />
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<b>tl;dr: Some people are just unreliable, and that's something you have to accept.</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: x-large;">#3: "Losing Nana Bishop"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Ah, Nana Bishop! Not many cartoons do a death episode, but when they do, there are certain standards that must be met, and <i>As Told by Ginger </i>executes them beyond my expectations. Whenever a loved one dies, the focus is usually on the people who were closest to the person who died. But what about the family members who feel nothing? As in, the people who feel bad about the death, but don't have that everlasting lump in their throat and overwhelming hole in their heart? I consider this to be a Hoodsey-centered episode, as the focus is really on him and his unorthodox reaction to hearing about the death of Nana Bishop.<br />
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I'm sure we've all been to a funeral for someone we didn't know very well (or will go to one eventually), and painfully watched as the people closest to the dead person cried their hearts out. Recently, I went to a funeral for a cousin of mine who I never met, and felt rather distant because I wasn't mourning as deeply as others. That feeling--that disconnection from a dead relative and awkwardness of not feeling as bad as everyone else--is the exact mindset of Hoodsey in this episode.<br />
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What I loved most about this episode was that both the main plot and the side plot interwove together somewhat (with funny results), yet the episode still managed to keep its somber, bittersweet tone. It's important for people to realize that they are not wrong for not feeling as heartbroken as others when they die, as everyone handles death differently. Not to mention, Carl uttered one of the best lines of advice in the entire series: "You don't have to like your family. You just have to respect them." Despite the fact that Carl doesn't take his own advice when it comes to Jonas, it's reassuring for Hoodsey that his feelings (or lack of) matter too, and just because he doesn't feel as bad as his father and Dodie, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him. Now, Joann, she's a different story.<br />
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<b>tl;dr: Hoodsey's muted feelings about Nana Bishop's death are just as valid as anyone else's.</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#2: "And She Was Gone"</span><br />
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Another Emmy-nominated episode (and an episode that just so happens to be based on a part of Emily Kapnek's actual life), we explore the concept of depression as deeply as Nickelodeon will allow (that is debatable, though).<br />
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When Ginger writes a heavy poem about a girl wanting to disappear for the Emerging Author Award contest, Ms. Zorski mistakenly believes that the girl in the poem is Ginger because of how strong and well-written the piece is. Now, one thing I've noticed is that if someone is writing fiction, and you can feel the emotion in it, it's the sign of a good writer. Much like how you can hear someone's emotion in a song, the more passion and energy you put into your work, the more "real" and powerful it will seem. So, while Ms. Zorski maybe went a little too far in assuming Ginger had depression based on a single poem (and considering she already knew how good of a writer she was), this episode really explored the perks and consequences of being a fantastic writer:<br />
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The perks: your writing is so good, people can actually feel the emotion put into it.<br />
The consequences: your writing is so good, it's realistic, and a cause for concerns <i>because </i>it's so realistic<br />
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The simple moral here is to not judge someone's mental state based on their writing. Art is subjective, and not a judge of character. It's interpretive--Ginger interpreted her poem as simply a girl wants to disappear. Ms. Zorski and the psychiatrist, Dr. Leventhal, interpreted Ginger's poem as a cry for help. The complex, real moral is that art is powerful. The things that people can create with their own two hands--whether on a piece of paper, or on film, or through clay, whatever, is merely an interpretation of one person's view of the world.<br />
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Also: the subplot with Carl believing he made Noelle disappear was great, too, as it showed that everyone could be really interesting if you get to really know them.<br />
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<b>tl;dr: Don't judge someone based on what they create.</b><br />
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Before I reveal my #1 pick, here's my honorable mention:<br />
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<b>Come Back Little Seal Girl - </b>For Macie to finally stand up for herself and show Lucky Junior High what she's all about, that must have taken balls the size of Neptune, because she would never go up on stage and sing <i>The Little Seal Girl </i>ever again. Good on her for standing up for what she loves and not giving a shit what anyone else thought of her doing her thing. If more people did what they loved without caring what others thought, we'd be a happier society.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#1: "A Lesson in Tightropes"</span><br />
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The most dramatic episode in the entire series just so happens to be the best. And no, before you say, "You cheated; this is your favorite episode!", keep in mind that it's my favorite episode for a reason.<br />
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What launched this episode into the #1 spot was the various B-plots. And "Splinter in My Heart" is a decent song. Carl played the most significant role in this episode. See, like I mentioned in my other picks for best episodes, this show likes to focus on other points of view that other shows don't normally consider. Interestingly, Carl struggled with his belief in "The Big Guy Upstairs" as well as his worries about Lois and Jonas rekindling their feelings for each other now that they were in close quarters. For Carl to be a straight-up atheist and then turn to "The Big Guy" in a last moment of desperation for Ginger to survive the operation shows his vulnerability--a side of Carl we rarely get to see since he's normally calm and collected on the outside. I can also understand his fear of Lois and Jonas considering getting back together because that would mean he'd be forced to accept the father he's shunned all his life once again and lose the relationship he built up with Doctor Dave. This is pretty heavy stuff for an 11-year-old.<br />
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Lois also shows her vulnerable side in this episode because of the reverberating "What if?" bouncing around in her head. What if she wasn't home to find Ginger blacked out on her bed? What if she decided to stay at the hospital an extra few minutes--would Ginger have died in those few extra minutes? And then there's her qualms with Jonas: what if she started to garner feelings for him again? What if Jonas suddenly becomes more involved in her life? Lois's constant anxiety makes her seem paranoid because Ginger did make it, but it's still haunting for Lois to realize that she made it <i>just </i>in time to bring Ginger to the hospital; had she waited longer, she would have found Ginger dead. That's every parent's worst nightmare.<br />
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Speaking of Jonas, we get to see him wrestle with the fact that Doctor Dave is a better man than he is in every shape and form. Sure, he gave Ginger half his chromosomes, but he's not the one who saved Ginger's life. He's not the one who makes Lois and the kids happy. He's also not the one with a good job and a family waiting for him after marrying Lois. Jonas seems depressed that he's being fazed out of Lois, Ginger, and Carl's lives and is being replaced by a seemingly perfect man. That's got to do a number on Jonas's self esteem.<br />
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Last up is Darren's extreme guilt. Not only did he break up with Ginger to date Simone, he also feels responsible for her bursting appendix, as if it's karma biting him in his newly-chiseled ass. Not only that, but we can also see that he still cares about Ginger, but wants Simone more at the moment.<br />
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Four mini stories on top of Ginger's break up and burst appendix, all under 24 minutes. While this episode is rushed for obvious reasons, it tells its story, elicits all the right emotions, and ends with a thought-provoking statement from the nurse: "But he did finish it; it just doesn't have an ending," in response to Ginger reading Darren's half-finished get well card. Such quality writing. That's why I am in utter shock that it stands side by side with horribly-written hogwash for episodes.<br />
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<b>tl;dr: Actually, with this one, I'd rather you read the whole text. </b><br />
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Now, it's your turn, fans. What do you think are the best episodes?<br />
<br /></div><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-4900513430298813432015-09-08T22:23:00.002-04:002022-10-22T10:57:58.914-04:00Top 5 Worst ATBG Episodes<i>As Told by Ginger </i>has some of the most talented writers I've ever heard of. In no other show can we get beautifully-crafted episodes with such rich depth and character development that makes us question our own perspective of the world, as well as shit-stains for writing that scrape the burned bottom bits of the entertainment barrel as a way to explain away some of the worst and most irresponsible morals one could put out on a children's television show.<br />
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You know what grinds my gears? The fact that <i>As Told by Ginger </i>made me wonder why this show wasn't more popular and praised, while at the same time I hoped no one would ever even remember this show. Why? Because of these episodes:<br />
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Here are my top 5 picks for the worst <i>As Told by Ginger </i>episodes:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#5: "Ms. Foutley's Boys"</span><br />
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Oh, God. This episode! I didn't think it was possible that one grown (grown as in height-wise) man could be more irritating than his three out-of-control children.<br />
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Here's the thing about this episode that makes it feel like a roll of sandpaper in place of a slip n' slide: the whole "boys will be boys" mantra--the gibberish Buzz spouts to justify his absolute shit parenting skills--is never challenged in the entire episode. Now, there's no reason to compare Buzz to Lois--it's like comparing apples to dinosaurs. Maybe Buzz and Joann would be a better comparison, but that's not the point.<br />
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Lois had a great opportunity to force Buzz backwards against her dynamic rage as she schooled him on how to be a parent--not even just a <i>good </i>parent, but a basic parent who performs the minimum requirements to take care of their kid. In other words, this could have been a great episode about recognizing the signs of child neglect and endangerment, and get those kids put into foster care or an orphanage since Buzz refuses to acknowledge that he puts his kids into danger on a daily basis. Instead, the episode ends with Buzz throwing his hands in the air because he's too prideful to even see what giant fuck-ups his kids are. They can barely speak proper English, they run around like apes, and they have zero respect for other people and their property. If they're like this now, what will they be like when they're teenagers? Adults?<br />
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Consider the boys' home life. They live in a beat-up trailer (the ultimate stereotype for hicks and hillbillies), have food and laundry thrown all over the place because they don't know what a trash can is, they have holes in their clothes, and look severely malnourished. And yet the show just presents this as a lifestyle rather than a cry for help. I understand kids can be rowdy and messy, but there is no excuse for these boys (and Buzz!) to act like a pack of wild animals who have escaped from the zoo. Even Carl isn't that bad.<br />
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Honestly, I really don't see why this needed to be a dating episode in the first place. Lois didn't even like this guy after a few minutes of him in her house, so why was the focus on them getting involved romantically? Also, what did Lois ever see in him, anyway? So, he discovered mold growing in her house. I bet I could too if I was the one with the toolbelt.<br />
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This episode could have <i>at least </i>ended with Buzz feeling some guilt about the way he raised his boys, even if there's a tiny moment where he looks back at Lois in his truck and whispers, "Maybe Lois is right after all," then at least there could be a chance for Buzz to redeem himself and become a better person and father. But no. Because this episode never acknowledged the danger Buzz's sons are in, it immediately gets sent to the Top 5 Worst list.<br />
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<b>tl;dr Version: Buzz is a hypermasculine asshole who needs to get his shit together before someone calls CPS on him.</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#4: "Of Lice and Friends"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Ah, this is where, chronologically, we learn that Dodie is the shittiest person in the entire series. Her desperation for popularity and attention unfortunately pays off somewhat, but at the extent of people around her. Look, I totally get Dodie just wants to be liked and accepted, be invited to fun parties, and kiss cool boys. Whatever. But what she doesn't realize is that she can have all that without being popular.<br />
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See, Dodie loves gossip. She'd probably grow up to be the next Perez Hilton or start her own celebrity stalking show. For now, she sticks with the small potatoes--the Lucky school district and its secrets. While it's important to her character development for her to not think what she's doing is wrong, what I hate the most is the fact that nothing Dodie does or says has any repercussions. She doesn't get in trouble by school administration for blabbing confidential information. Ginger immediately forgives her for snubbing her and nearly revealing everyone's names who were discovered to harbor lice on their scalps. And her reputation falls right back to where it always was--to an anonymous nobody.<br />
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Truthfully, blabbing a bunch of secrets isn't something to necessarily end a friendship over. However, I wouldn't have forgiven Dodie so easily. The worst part about this episode is the fact that Ginger had actually asked Dodie not to reveal that Lois is checking kids for lice, but Dodie ignores this request because she thinks it will boost her popularity. What the hell is the logic in that?<br />
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What ultimately moved this episode into the Worst category instead of leaving it out altogether is the fact that not even Lois is able to see the bullshit in Dodie's behavior. She clearly knew what was going on, and instead of encouraging Ginger to force an ultimatum on Dodie (be a decent human being, or GTFO of my life), she puts Ginger in the bad guy seat and encourages Ginger to make up with Dodie because "everyone makes mistakes." No. <i>No. </i>I am sorry. Getting carried away and accidentally revealing some student secrets over the morning announcements out of excitement is a mistake. Purposely humiliating students to garner more attention and popularity is likewise of a corrupt politician. What was Lois thinking? Dodie knew what she was doing. She knew she was hurting people. Therefore, the only mistake was allowing Dodie anywhere near a microphone.<br />
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<b>tl;dr: The fact that even Lois thinks what Dodie did to the entire student body was a series of mistakes is just mind-boggling and out-of-character.</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#3: "Cry Wolf"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Naturally, Dodie reveals a secret about Ginger to Miranda, and Miranda decides to use this secret as blackmail as a way to get Courtney all to herself. Haven't we learned by now not to trust Dodie with secrets? That's not even the worst part. Miranda forces Ginger to do her bidding just so she won't tell the school about her functioning hair follicles.<br />
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What pissed me off this entire episode was how far Ginger was willing to go to protect her hairy secret. Sure, she's 12, so of course she would be embarrassed about having hairy legs. But this episode never provides an opportunity for Ginger to stand up for herself and decide not to care anymore. Her spine becomes the consistency of an oil-soaked spaghetti string as she allows Miranda to control her. How does Ginger even know Miranda didn't already tell people about her hairy legs? For all we know, the entire school probably knows and doesn't care. Miranda loves to be in control, and for Ginger to give Miranda all this power just proves to Miranda that she <i>can </i>control Ginger just by uttering "frizzy lizzies."<br />
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What would have worked better, instead of Ginger sneaking behind Lois's back to have her ankles shaved, is if Ginger came to school in shorts--showing off all her fire red leg hairs, and telling Miranda to her face, "You're not going to control me because I don't care that I have hairy legs!" Ballsy, empowering, and a great lesson for budding teenagers. Instead, this episode seems to pull the reigns on the "stand up for yourself" lesson by making young girls even more scared of their bodies by telling them naturally-occurring changes are not okay. While watching this episode, I kept screaming at my laptop for Ginger to stand her ground and stop being such a doormat, because she doesn't <i>have </i>to take Miranda's bullying. I know Ginger was just embarrassed about her leg hair, but come on! It was physically painful for me to sit there and watch her retreat with her tail between her (hairy) legs.<br />
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Honestly, what were we supposed to learn from this episode? How to outsmart the bully? How about how to tell the bully to fuck off so they know you're not worth picking on?<br />
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<b>tl;dr: Ginger is so spineless that it hurts me to watch her be pushed around just so that people won't know she's not allowed to shave her legs.</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#2: "Wicked Game"</span><br />
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3mxFFYjpP7tYRyV5gK1LJXdHIHZJiL7ffn746aDGeUX4_iFCBneVIf9uS-5-sGedTp2yvOzG95Mfe6YHPvn-I3t_FWE_o7zCZ5WFiqDc1lmsuq1Dg3WNylDttxC0ETetlPslEQm4mbiU/s640/1.jpg" /><br />
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This was supposed to be <i>the</i> episode. This was supposed to be the story of how Ginger cut Dodie and Macie out of her life and became official best friends with Courtney Gripling. Instead, we get shit on a stick.<br />
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It's almost as if the show was written this way, with Ginger and Dodie's friendship building up to the point where Ginger gets sick of all the backstabbing, but someone decided, "Ah, let's just have Ginger make up with these clowns and pretend this whole episode never happened!" A cop-out just to keep the tiny seven-year-old fans from crying about the trio's break-up, and also to keep angry parents from calling the studios and demanding Ginger, Dodie, and Macie make up so that their kids would stop crying. Now, I know that's not very realistic. So then why would Emily Kapnek and the storyboard people build up to this life-altering moment where you'd think this was the climax of their friendship, that this was going to be the moment Ginger decided enough was enough, only for Kapnek to go, "Ha-ha, just kidding!" the very next episode? Why? <i>Why? </i><br />
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Dodie wanted Ginger all to herself. She was willing to rip apart her best friend's first relationship just so she could have an extra hour after school with her. Now, because Dodie is exactly the kind of person who would do that, it's not the reason why this episode is up here. It's the fact that Ginger realizes what a fuck-up Dodie is, has commented on how shitty of a person Dodie is, yet still will not hesitate to stand by her side and forgive her whenever Dodie feels like apologizing.<br />
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It's as if Ginger's in a physically abusive relationship, where she's repeatedly being punched and kicked and shoved into a wall. Even though Ginger knows this is wrong, she'll still hug and kiss her abuser after he apologizes. No. This is <i>not </i>what friendship is. I'll say it again: THIS IS NOT WHAT FRIENDSHIP IS. This is a toxic relationship. This is unhealthy. This leads to psychotic behavior. This leads to many, many bad things. The "I'll have your back no matter what" mantra needs to STOP. Nobody is obligated to stay friends with anyone. And for that, I am PISSED that Ginger decided to accept Dodie back and continue to act like every wrong thing she did from then on out was a total surprise of character. Not only is it lazy writing, it's <i>irresponsible </i>writing.<br />
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<b>tl;dr: The fact that Ginger knows how horrible Dodie is but continued to stay friends with her anyway is encouraging viewers to stay in toxic relationships.</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">#1: "Dodie's Big Break"</span><br />
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitsIGAN20If0B5f1vIkmbGLexmGdlG1TA0h_-U8ObJ1uNnVrd4PGo6gvcsL7RrRuQw9cQQqLML16U-x3PFbRcVfTA3Tsi9l1g9prZUioP120DjBHQVjjdQYRB74TGG17Dtm7djsfwlv_8/s640/1.jpg" /><br />
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I hope it's no surprise to anyone that this mosquito bite on the nipple landed in the #1 spot.<br />
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I have absolutely zero sympathy for Ginger in the high school episodes. Not only has Dodie managed to get worse as soon as she entered high school, Ginger has also gotten dumber. She goes from being the voice of reason and intuitive free-spirit to being an annoying spaz with a chip on her shoulder (though that was due to Darren). At this point, I actually kind of feel bad for Dodie. Hear me out.<br />
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I don't know why Ginger was written to be so stupid during the high school episodes. It's as if she got amnesia and never remembered all the horrible shit Dodie put her through, so that when she starts degrading Ginger <i>right to her face,</i> Ginger reacts like a nun hearing a swear word. Okay, yeah, she faked a broken leg as a way to weasel her way onto the pep squad. <i>That's so Dodie. </i>Ginger is shocked that Dodie would do such a thing. Dodie also makes Ginger look like a piece of shit bully in front of the pep squad girls just so they'd take pity on her. <i>That's so Dodie. </i>Ginger is appalled that Dodie would make her look bad. See a pattern here? How about this: Ginger doesn't even try to challenge Dodie in the sense that she never pulls the pep squad aside and clues them in to what's going on. "They would only believe Dodie." Bullshit. Why should Dodie be held as more trustworthy than anyone else just because she's part of their team? If they were smart girls, they would consider Ginger's input instead of blindly trusting Dodie.<br />
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And why do I feel bad for Dodie? Ginger obviously sees something worthy within her to continue staying friends with her--Dodie is just being herself; Ginger is the one who wants to be involved in a toxic, emotionally abusive friendship. Dodie must be the ultimate manipulator.<br />
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But yet, I still hate Dodie. Even worse is the fact that she complains that she's not being promoted to the squad fast enough, so her bright idea was to cheat her way up there, then cry when she got caught. Ultimately, the part that lands this episode in the #1 spot for worst episode of the series is that Ginger <i>feels sorry for Dodie </i>and begs Coach Candace to give her another chance. And Coach does it! Dodie is back on the squad as the mascot, and has potential for being an official squad member. Why? Because people felt <i>sorry </i>for her? Because Dodie wants it more than anyone else? Because they felt sorry that she started crying after getting caught cheating her way onto the squad? Absolute. Bull. Fucking. Shit.<br />
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This would <i>never </i>happen in real life. Never. No one gets special privileges just because they want something<i> soooo bad. </i>I want a million dollars <i>soooo </i>bad. But if I robbed a bank, got caught, and started crying because of how much I wanted the money, the cops would laugh in my face as they haul me off to jail--they wouldn't baby me and tell me, "You gotta work for it, honey" while unlocking my cell and giving me a good-paying job so that I could earn that million dollars I <i>soooo </i>badly want.<br />
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This is one of those episodes that has no moral, other than if you cry hard enough, you'll get what you want eventually.<br />
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<b>tl;dr: If you cry hard enough, you'll get what you want eventually. </b><br />
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So, those are what I consider the top 5 WORST episodes of the series. In the next couple of days, I'll post my picks for the top 5 BEST episodes of the series.<br />
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But now, it's your turn, bloggers: What episodes do you think are the worst?<br />
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<br /><span><a name='more'></a></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-74134654187955242242015-09-07T21:41:00.002-04:002022-10-22T10:58:06.523-04:00Ugly Dodie Face Photo Gallery<div><br />
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</div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-82552215569406253142015-09-05T08:26:00.000-04:002022-10-22T10:54:12.025-04:00Season 3, Episodes 58-60: "The Wedding Frame"This is it, guys. I can't believe we finally made it here. After over a year of reviewing every episode of this amazing (yet sometimes infuriating) show, I'm heartbroken to see this blog entering the homestretch. The final episode, the final movie, and the final review of <i>As Told by Ginger.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>As you know, this blog isn't ending with "The Wedding Frame." Over the next couple of weeks, I will be writing up lots of bonus posts that will flesh out the rest of the blog, and these posts will most likely continue through my Hey Arnold! Reviewed reviews.<br />
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Also, I'm really going to be stretching my time out for this new blog. Why? I am happy to report that after three-and-a-half months of searching, I have finally landed a job! Yay! No longer can I call myself a jobless blogger (not that I've been calling myself that, but, I'm finally moving on up!).<br />
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I hope you guys cleared up a large window of time to read this because there is A LOT to cover for this three-part TV movie. Also, because this is the last episode in the series, be prepared for the longest review I've ever done.<br />
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And now, without further adieu, <i>As Told by Ginger: </i>"The Wedding Frame:"<br />
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Orion and Ginger are hovering over the prospect of dating, and Orion's totally got them sex eyes going on. Unfortunately for him, Ginger is too preoccupied with the last-minute details of Lois's wedding to think about over-the-shirt groping right now. Bummer.<br />
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Orion makes a joke about how Ginger is acting like it's <i>her and Orion </i>who's getting married, which freezes Ginger into the next scene. So, Ginger and Mr. Constellation aren't exactly going steady yet--Ginger's too afraid to dive into that territory, most likely because of what happened between her and Darren... and Lois and Jonas.<br />
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"Nothing will tear us apart, babe. I promise." Remember when Darren said that in "Butterflies Are Free?" Yeah, I'm not surprised why Ginger is afraid to enter a new relationship--especially since she hasn't known Orion as long as she's known Darren. But that's what makes it even worse. If someone like Orion broke Ginger's heart, it would be easier to brush it off. But because Ginger basically lost one of her closest friends, it's like part of her died along with her relationship, and that has to be one of the most awful feelings a human could feel. <br />
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Ginger, Dodie, and Macie are trying on their bridesmaid dresses while waiting for Lois to come out of the dressing room with her big, white dress. They talk about Ginger's commitment issues--her "phobia," rather, and then Lois steps out in a strapless, flowy dress. Jessica Victoria Carrillo, I'm sure you'll appreciate this screenshot:<br />
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Ginger's commitment issues burst through like the Kool-Aid Man when trying to pinpoint the exact color of her bridesmaid dress (an obvious cover-up to how freaked out she is about weddings). Lois--who was oblivious to the girls' entire conversation even though only a screen was blocking her--tells Ginger that everything will be perfect and she shouldn't worry.<br />
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Darren walks down the street gushing over the fact that Ginger invited him to the Foutley-Dave wedding, and is thwarted by Simone, who runs around him with a basketball. Darren is looking super uncomfortable with her all of a sudden (this is new!) and backs away when Simone wraps her arms around his neck and utters an amorous "I do" in reference to Simone thinking she could whoop Darren's ass on the basketball court.<br />
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Darren drops his mail in fear that Simone totally wants to marry him at 14, and backs away. What, does Darren have commitment issues, too? I see a theme here--our two main characters with new love interests suddenly aren't so into them anymore. I see where this is going.<br />
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The Foutley house is now being put up for sale in preparation to move up to a bigger, better, mold-free house. Carl is actually trusting Buddy with the real estate again (why, I haven't got a clue), and decides to do what he calls a "preliminary inspection" of the house. He had arranged for a friend of his to do the inspection, and you won't believe who it is:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCF6onQphX8djO8BT3x6hf-hfQ2N8pxLGLU2N3vwtEssIN8SGdr0hOEXjpG5VpqUY3iPVIOlHRv51DxbSPfP-ZIZdRWAjygPm7kxye7C48TwIS92s8mhTRxDBcPpwtHiy7W2BsHc6x6WU/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCF6onQphX8djO8BT3x6hf-hfQ2N8pxLGLU2N3vwtEssIN8SGdr0hOEXjpG5VpqUY3iPVIOlHRv51DxbSPfP-ZIZdRWAjygPm7kxye7C48TwIS92s8mhTRxDBcPpwtHiy7W2BsHc6x6WU/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just burn the house down. We'll all be better off.</td></tr>
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The faux-macho neglectful douchebag meets corporate money-grabbing swindler. Not only that, they're <i>best friends. </i>This is the kind of stuff you see on live-action sitcoms--except these two together are much worse.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZqkj9myluWyBci0rjTYlzdU6cSOcQjvBOt4vfbR7Kg2yIooiSzkgI4kyKyrFy2yj9N0zjkDolGzSoJSQ6lFcLNqeJW5-1uZi8IMgOSv2oe2LGMSIcpDPXHP7SFkRpgERp7WxhkPrI4vM/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZqkj9myluWyBci0rjTYlzdU6cSOcQjvBOt4vfbR7Kg2yIooiSzkgI4kyKyrFy2yj9N0zjkDolGzSoJSQ6lFcLNqeJW5-1uZi8IMgOSv2oe2LGMSIcpDPXHP7SFkRpgERp7WxhkPrI4vM/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I just realized they have the same face. Are they cousins or something?!</td></tr>
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Carl and Buzz fill each other in on their lives. Apparently, Buzz's hick kids have nearly killed themselves in various ways, much to no one's surprise. I wonder why someone hasn't called CPS yet since Buzz is unfit to be the guardian of children, or even adults, for that matter. Carl tells Buzz about Lois's engagement to <i>Doctor </i>Dave, and boy does Buzz get jealous.<br />
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Carl and Hoodsey say goodbye to the doghouse as they prepare to chop it down. Carl is noticeably distraught over having to tear down his pride and joy, but reminds himself that he and Hoodsey can rebuild a new one in a tree at the new house. A bigger, more technologically-advanced clubhouse. Carl makes one final apology to the house--and to his long-lost dog, Monster, before lifting up his club. As Carl makes the first chop in the door, a dog somewhere off in the distance perks up out of his sleep and starts walking off the porch of an unfamiliar swamp house.<br />
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Wait a minute... is that...?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNlLwQkc2Cx749ZoRuG2zvH8iEr5DKsNc0cE-i8e4Npb5s6AhRPwu1oPlqEMsLpbE_tFtZFAajcBcW_tWzvYGzdRYbq3N3fXaBvIBO61Gbc9c55A6DmpR2rS-ug8LLse37Et07obdM5cM/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNlLwQkc2Cx749ZoRuG2zvH8iEr5DKsNc0cE-i8e4Npb5s6AhRPwu1oPlqEMsLpbE_tFtZFAajcBcW_tWzvYGzdRYbq3N3fXaBvIBO61Gbc9c55A6DmpR2rS-ug8LLse37Et07obdM5cM/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I have questions.<br /><br /></td></tr>
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Ginger brings her band some icy glasses of lemonade, and listens as they perform a soft-rock song about Orion's slippery relationship with Ginger that takes Ginger into a daydream. It's only because she doesn't realize the song is about her. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBZrPyjBH8B2v2jUVb749gSgy3i1hne6s5EqKZZ7unOO7QQWZwYIuiWLIHy3SGbEBsWr5FVZFZtON5BhlvfUdq2ZqYOcYWHQdyPh2Nncr2IiVzy4aq9reMPv7cPt7_cwKNeMW8rTayL2k/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBZrPyjBH8B2v2jUVb749gSgy3i1hne6s5EqKZZ7unOO7QQWZwYIuiWLIHy3SGbEBsWr5FVZFZtON5BhlvfUdq2ZqYOcYWHQdyPh2Nncr2IiVzy4aq9reMPv7cPt7_cwKNeMW8rTayL2k/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She also doesn't realize how badly Orion is blue-balling right now.</td></tr>
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Doctor Dave's coworkers want to throw him a bachelor's party, but the squeamish Doc is only comfortable observing naked females in critical condition.<br />
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Lois finds out about Ginger's fear of marriage through Ginger's oh so subtle racking nerves as she sorts out more wedding details. Lois tries to urge Ginger not to give up on true love just because things didn't work out between her and Darren, but Ginger refuses to talk about it, even though she was the one who brought it up. If that's not a cry for help, I don't know what is. Ginger leaves to go do more wedding planning, leaving Lois in an uncomfortable position where her only daughter may end up a man-hating hermit.<br />
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Darren seeks advice from Will about what to do about the Foutley-Dave wedding. It's clear by now that Darren still has feelings for Ginger, but doesn't want to upset Simone, and Will is too preoccupied with his bulging pecs and washboard abs to even be competent.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, that is a picture of himself on the mirror.</td></tr>
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Mrs. Patterson walks in inquiring about the whereabouts of the invitation since Ginger called asking if they're RSVPing, and Darren gets all excited at the possibility of Ginger possibly asking about him. Where was this pining for Ginger the past five episodes? Why does he miss her all of a sudden now?<br />
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The scene cuts to a beat-up trailer in a swampy, unknown area. A phone rings and we are introduced to the cheapest-looking hooker from Poontang Prairies, Niki LaPorte.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmTvNQ7xoXVqyl1Sr41wZdTFNZWFvCtDsSfHcyqt6AqhqbHOfpx6yVfu3JdZjvnRkU5zS-uxWXRNT-zAdBXmkvkWPAFTv3tQKqnS4EoPW-jvDMaionLckWeHILdNhGQKZ9FTKophFjkkw/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmTvNQ7xoXVqyl1Sr41wZdTFNZWFvCtDsSfHcyqt6AqhqbHOfpx6yVfu3JdZjvnRkU5zS-uxWXRNT-zAdBXmkvkWPAFTv3tQKqnS4EoPW-jvDMaionLckWeHILdNhGQKZ9FTKophFjkkw/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Niki LaPorte. Talk to me, loverbug." - Niki LaPorte</td></tr>
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You know, it never ceases to amaze me how Klasky-Csupo is able to get so much past the FCC. And I'm only saying this because they produce <i>children's </i>television shows. And it's not like the fact that she's a prostitute is subtle--this chick's got hips as wide as Texas and a sultry 40-year-old southern voice. The voice on the other end of the phone is unrecognizable, but is referred to by a mysterious "Silver Fox." Niki is told that her services are needed (oh, I sincerely hope this isn't for Doctor Dave's bachelor party) and will be paid a handsome fee. A manila envelope containing the information and 50% of her money is waiting outside her door. Inside, Niki finds a photo of Doctor Dave. And somehow, I don't think this plan has anything to do with the bachelor party.<br />
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As Ginger continues gathering ideas for the wedding, Princess Leia's black cousin shows up to harass her.<br />
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Okay, okay, let's just get this out of the way before I give Miranda more attention than she deserves:<br />
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- Miranda's hair looks like a pair of fuzzy dice you hang from the mirror of your car that have been washed and dried for too long.<br />
<br />
- Her head looks like a dumbbell.<br />
<br />
- With her tiny body, she looks like a mallet.<br />
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- It looks like she had her hair in side ponytails, stuck her finger in an electrical socket, got electrocuted, and then had to cut off the burning tips of her hair before they scorched her whole head.<br />
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Nothing significant happens in this scene. Miranda just tries to scare Ginger because she's about to become a stepchild. I wonder why she's not hanging around Courtney like a fly to a dead horse. She certainly doesn't have to fight for her attention anymore. See, I always knew Miranda wasn't <i>really </i>jealous of all the time Ginger and Courtney spent together--she just likes fucking around with Ginger. Naturally, talking to Miranda doesn't make Ginger feel any better about the wedding--hers or Lois and Doctor Dave's.<br />
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As Lois takes the kids to see the new house she and Doctor Dave bought, they pass by a cemetery with these two headstones in plain view:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS8eLYFuwyRB7flih6dNKi7A-7NN0KKkQu-tLmDghEAjJVqSQVsaNKtM1rrgqWP1rx4GXvBiHb9EQxgvW4wg-B9Oz0K7EV7B4BBEw20Y86xZ2vODeav5cNH5WDRkG_jQf3LhVGQYqLpGw/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS8eLYFuwyRB7flih6dNKi7A-7NN0KKkQu-tLmDghEAjJVqSQVsaNKtM1rrgqWP1rx4GXvBiHb9EQxgvW4wg-B9Oz0K7EV7B4BBEw20Y86xZ2vODeav5cNH5WDRkG_jQf3LhVGQYqLpGw/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We will miss you.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Yes, this is a 4th wall break--a signal that after this movie, the series will come to an end. I really would rather not start tearing up right now, as we still have a lot more movie to get through, so let's just skip ahead to the new Foutley-Dave house:<br />
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Look at the size of that place--imagine all the nooks and crannies, and closet space, waiting to be filled. I suspect the original Foutley house was the size of the west wing in front of the gazebo there. Oh, did I forget to mention that this house is in Protected Pines? As in <i>Courtney Gripling's neighborhood?! </i>I'm not a fan of McMansions (personally, I prefer cute, little older houses myself), but the fact that Doctor Dave and Lois managed to scrape together enough to put a down payment on a house like this is pretty damn impressive. Or is it? The man is a <i>surgeon</i>, you know. All the family needed was a house slightly bigger than the Foutleys'. But hey, I'm not the one with the bursting bank account. Perhaps this is just a way to illustrate how drastically all their lives are going to change for the better.<br />
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By the way, I've been mislabeling Courtney's mansion as a McMansion throughout the whole blog--<i>this</i> is more likely a McMansion, a pejorative term for a house that's only as enormous as it is to impress people who drive by.<br />
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Buddy is there, ready to be pulled apart by Carl who busts his balls about trying to figure out proper interest rates. As the kids go off to pick their favorite oversized bedrooms with en suites and walk-in closets with built-in chandeliers, Lois confides in Buddy that this (I'm not sure if she's referring to the marriage or the change in houses) is the best thing that ever happened to her family. D'aww.<br />
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In the next scene, we catch up with Noelle. Noelle! Oh, how I missed you and your weirdness! How've you been, girl?<br />
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Noelle has received an invitation to the Foutley-Dave wedding too (Why don't Carl and Ginger invite the whole Lucky school district while they're at it? No offense, Noelle.). The phone starts to ring. It's Niki LaPorte, asking if there's any room left in the Sussman Motor Park (I guess the Sussmans own a trailer park), and Noelle says yes. Meanwhile, Niki comes ridiculously close to running over the dog we saw earlier in the episode. And then she decides to claim him as her own.<br />
<br />
Ginger tries to talk to Carl about her issues with marriage, but he's like, "Stop worrying so goddamn much." And then Ginger snubs him when she doesn't get a pity party.<br />
<br />
Once Niki pulls into Sussman Motor Park, Buzz (yes--he lives here, surprise, surprise) peers out the screen door and instantly pops a redneck boner for Niki. His dumbass kids continue to beat each other up and expel drivel from their Mountain Dew-smelling mouths and, instead of disciplining them like a good father, Buzz ignores them to try to score some ass.<br />
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Buzz notices Niki holding a picture of Lois, and seeing as Buzz and Lois are acquainted with each other, Niki thinks this "Silver Fox" person is Buzz. Oh, dear. I smell trouble. No, wait, that's just Senior-Junior's hair being burned to a crisp back inside the trailer.<br />
<br />
Doctor Dave is discouraged from honeymooning in beautiful Hawaii and is instead practically forced into going to Omaha, Nebraska. Why? Methinks the travel agent is in cahoots with "Silver Fox" because no travel agent would suggest a newlywed couple travel to Omaha to spend the first seven days of their lives together (sorry, Omaha--I do love the song by Counting Crows, though!) I wonder why Doctor Dave doesn't put his foot down and say he wants to go to Hawaii. Oh, yeah. Wet noodle spine syndrome. Clearly, he doesn't want to go to middle America, as per this face:<br />
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I bet if someone invited him to travel to the center of Hell, he'd slap on some sunglasses and inch his way down Satan's staircase.<br />
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Niki LaPorte--in a blonde wig--taps on the window and makes kissy faces at Doctor Dave.<br />
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At first, Doctor Dave is like, "Who's this tramp talking to?" but then realizes she's talking to <i>him. </i>Doctor Dave runs outside to see what's going on, only to be confronted by "Diane Francis," Doctor Dave's ex and colleague from over 10 years ago. He doesn't recognize "Diane" at all, and then she bursts into tears, embarrassing the hell out of Doctor Dave, who then takes her out for coffee to calm her ass down.<br />
<br />
During lunch, Ginger asks Dodie and Macie if she's gamophobic, and they don't skip a beat to agree. Macie suggests diving headfirst into her problem, but Ginger doesn't think she can.<br />
<br />
Doctor Dave and the fake Diane get "reacquainted," and what I mean by that is that Niki has a microphone in her ear with someone feeding information about her and Doctor Dave's past so that Niki can pose as Diane trying to rekindle their love. Meanwhile, Jonas is across the street getting his camera fixed when he sees Doctor Dave and "Diane"--er, um... in a compromising position.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV0ZTfEwTnXHd7gjzmAbWpDOt38rTyjCwsNCItUj-kqmAC57MowfoPRGGNTQSbbfov9YXNX34E3th-Q1ejjmredH5xjLr7UJBIdFrJaHQDbC_DitGbifP5g3X_axk_SqKczDCEc7PqhTw/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV0ZTfEwTnXHd7gjzmAbWpDOt38rTyjCwsNCItUj-kqmAC57MowfoPRGGNTQSbbfov9YXNX34E3th-Q1ejjmredH5xjLr7UJBIdFrJaHQDbC_DitGbifP5g3X_axk_SqKczDCEc7PqhTw/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Aaaeeeoooow, muh ankle." - "Diane"</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
He snaps a picture with his newly-fixed camera, possibly to save for blackmail. And then we see some schmuck we don't know filming the whole thing. That's it--Doctor Dave is being set-up.<br />
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Simone invites Darren to her friend's house where all the cheerleaders and football team are gathering, but Darren makes up an excuse just so he won't have to see Ginger's face in Simone's during their orgy. Simone is confused as to why Darren is lying to her all of a sudden, until Dodie comes over and regretfully informs her that she can't deep-condition her pom-poms (<i>that </i>I'm not making up) because she has to prepare her duties as a bridesmaid in the Foutley-Dave wedding, and then leaves. Well, that was oddly convenient. Simone starts to connect these seemingly unrelated things, letting the suspicion grow on her face like a Chia pet. Perhaps I'm starting to go too far with these similes.<br />
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Carl and Hoodsey are watching TV, and look, a <i>Rugrats </i>parody:<br />
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Joann comes in and tells the boys to turn the volume down because she's making flan and doesn't want it to fall. After she leaves in a huff, the boys turn down the volume and comment on Joann's anal attitude. Carl says that Joann should try yoga to calm her paper-thin nerves, and that she would benefit particularly from the downward dog pose.<br />
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Wait, what?<br />
<br />
Did I hear that correctly?<br />
<br />
Did Carl just make a sex joke? A <i>very</i> obvious sex joke?<br />
<br />
My word, he did. Okay, so maybe Niki the prostitute can make it past the censors, but how did THIS joke slip by? And with Carl bending over to show the invisible camera his ass?<br />
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You know, watching these shows as a kid, you don't pick up on the adult jokes littered throughout them. Like in <i>Animaniacs</i>. If you're a fan of that show, you know what I'm talking about. Does the "fingerprints" scene ring a bell? If not, look that up on YouTube. Or how about the fact that in <i>Rocko's Modern Life</i>, Rocko worked as a phone sex operator? The parents who have to sit there and watch these shows with their kids have to enjoy the shows too, so writers like to slip in these jokes that'll be <i>juuuust </i>subtle enough to fly over kids' heads while making their parents burst out a chuckle or two. And like I had said before: Joann may be more prudish than a Mormon nun, but she's the cause of almost every dirty joke on this show.<br />
<br />
Suddenly, the news comes on, and we hear very quickly that Prescott Gripling (AKA Courtney and Blake's father) has been arrested for insider trading. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we get to see the one-and-only Mr. Gripling for the first and only time as he's hauled away in the back of a police car:<br />
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I apologize for the sudden change in quality of the screenshots. Due to technical difficulties, I have to revert to my old method of collecting them.<br />
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The news anchor explains that Mr. Gripling is in such deep shit, he's forced to abandon his fortune so he can pay off the debts he caused. Basically, the Griplings are done for. They can kiss their home, possessions, and extravagant vacations goodbye because they are now poor people.<br />
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The news anchor then decides to hassle Blake, who tries (and fails) to escape on his tricycle. I believe he was trying to make a statement about how he still has his dignity, but that's gone too.<br />
<br />
Oh, dear. I feel so, so bad for them. The Griplings don't deserve this. At least not Claire, Courtney, and Blake. What a turn of events.<br />
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Doctor Dave tells Lois that the first days of their marriage will begin in the open countryside of Omaha, and instead of Lois being furious, she shakes her head and realizes they can do the downward dog pose anywhere.<br />
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Ginger watches a music video that I'm 99% sure is a reference to <i>Titanic </i>in which Ginger hallucinates herself and Darren as the characters in the video. Ginger is Rose and Darren is Jack, and there's an iceburg, 1910s aesthetic, and the Jack character is walking away from the Rose character, just like how Darren abandoned Ginger a few episodes ago. For some reason, Ginger's voice is horrible in this song. Maybe this is why Ginger is so afraid of commitment. No, not maybe. This <i>is </i>why Ginger is so afraid. One broken heart, and suddenly all guys are the same.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5G_HkydY3puJrZA9RdrkhXwkh72nBcEM0emAuzF14eWoMtJd5t6ae9cFl2_ZKHraPnqSbFSHUMpPMOWK4mZIunLdtqp1PxAm7-4k7yxFXuKZTwSEgU4hsaogjoJZbE0SPRjSzVjgtRMY/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5G_HkydY3puJrZA9RdrkhXwkh72nBcEM0emAuzF14eWoMtJd5t6ae9cFl2_ZKHraPnqSbFSHUMpPMOWK4mZIunLdtqp1PxAm7-4k7yxFXuKZTwSEgU4hsaogjoJZbE0SPRjSzVjgtRMY/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"So, I guess you won't paint me like one of your French girls?"</i></td></tr>
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Ginger imagines herself slipping further and further into a swirling vortex of despair, her lifeless, drowned body being dragged away until you can almost not see her anymore. I think this is a great metaphor for how Ginger is still not over the break-up. I wouldn't expect her to get over it so easily. I know I've been ragging on Ginger a lot lately for being so annoying and brainless, but I still feel sorry for her. Honest to "The Big Guy Upstairs" I do. Darren isn't obligated to stay with her, but it's just the fact that he left Ginger because Simone was "easier" is what I have a problem with. I can't even say what I would do if I was Ginger. I just cannot imagine how it must feel.<br />
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Ginger lets the phone ring, so Orion leaves a message about how he's still up for doing Ginger's hair for the wedding. Meanwhile, Darren and Ginger exchange a mutual glance from their windows. It says so much without either of them saying a single word.<br />
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Lois and Jonas run into each other at the dollar store, and Jonas struggles to tell Lois what he think he saw. Good thing he chickens out--any misunderstandings on Lois's part would just add unnecessary drama to this already drama-filled movie.<br />
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Ginger hears Courtney crying in the school bathroom (where else would she go to cry, honestly?) and gets her to open up about how awful she feels about no longer being rich. For some reason, Ginger looks really hesitant to console Courtney, probably because they're not good enough friends (Ginger's fault!) to talk about something so personal. But Ginger lets Courtney cry on her shoulder anyway, and the advice she gives Courtney--to use this new poor status as a challenge her family can face together--gives Ginger the idea to use her own advice.<br />
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<br />
But my God, Courtney doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve this at all. High school has been nothing but absolute shit to her. I don't know why she was chosen to have such awful luck. Why couldn't Miranda or Dodie have been bullied mercilessly and lost their hose? Okay, no, I don't really mean that. I just can't stand that all this trauma is happening to Courtney. Ignoring the fact that Courtney doesn't realize the extent of her poverty, I still wish I could jump through my laptop screen and give Courtney a big hug, and tell her everything is going to be okay. I mean, hey, I'm poor, and I made it this far.<br />
<br />
Noelle gets a package for Niki LaPorte (I guess everyone's mail goes to her house first), and she does some sweet telekinesis on top of almost magical yoga before heading out to deliver it to her.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTAIPZGIp0BO1-6UiapkubwnAxCz7K_RFfpQHvBs9WOvS8pK_lP_c6DktK1QPoPf7gN3R4eeck7OfWKdMLQASWAs1vHw8Fdhy6tWZxJLuUb_c4ng_jg05mRjaeqA3JjvGu7B8VVJ62Ipk/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTAIPZGIp0BO1-6UiapkubwnAxCz7K_RFfpQHvBs9WOvS8pK_lP_c6DktK1QPoPf7gN3R4eeck7OfWKdMLQASWAs1vHw8Fdhy6tWZxJLuUb_c4ng_jg05mRjaeqA3JjvGu7B8VVJ62Ipk/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The mailman must have seen all this and more before.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
As she's delivering the package, the dog we keep seeing returns back to the trailer park, knocking Noelle down. The package opens, and out comes a VHS tape with the label "Dr. Dave and the Other Woman" on it.<br />
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<br />
Wait a second... how would a VHS tape just pop out of a manila envelope like that? Was it already opened? There's no way it could just fall out if the tab was locked in place. Second, why would Noelle assume (albeit correctly) that the tape label is in reference to <i>the </i>Doctor Dave? Surely there are many other doctors with the last name "Dave." How does Noelle know for sure that this tape is about Lois Foutley's fiance, Doctor David Dave? I know it makes sense in the context of the movie, but you really should not be so assuming in real life. And thus, Noelle decides to investigate.<br />
<br />
Orion gets mega pissed off when Ginger finally reveals that she's not ready to enter a new relationship. He's also jealous that Darren is invited to the wedding, making Orion not only pissed, but jealous. So, now that Orion knows he's not getting a blowjob anytime soon, he figures it would be best to stop seeing Ginger until then. Dick. Ginger seriously needs better taste in guys.<br />
<br />
Carl and Hoodsey feel guilty for indulging in the Griplings' pre-poverty sale, but decide to stock up anyway since this may be the only time they get to even hold expensive items. No, wait, scratch that. Carl is about to move into a big ass house. So, this is the only time <i>Hoodsey </i>will be able to soak up the Griplings' riches. Noelle drops by to indulge, as well as deliver the VHS tape to Carl to get his opinion on the tape, which neither of them know yet is blackmail.<br />
<br />
So, the boys try to figure out who's behind sabotaging Lois and Doctor Dave's wedding.<br />
<br />
Darren drops by the Foutley house to RSVP. It appears he's trying to make peace with Ginger, but Ginger holds up a hard shell against him that almost makes me want to shake her by the throat for being so cold to him, but then I remember how Darren dumped her, so I don't care anymore.<br />
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<br />
While Carl and Hoodsey search Buzz's dirty shack for clues, Noelle sneaks into Niki's trailer, and finds two big clues--a facial hair trimmer and a photo of the <i>real </i>Diane Francis. Curious...<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table></div><div>Lois goes to a cake tasting hosted by the nuttiest wackjob since Maude from episode 2, and ends up drugged. Oh, dear. This isn't good--there's definitely something stronger than pot in that cake.<br />
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<br />
The nutjob then takes Lois in the back to lie down, and then signals the "travel agent," Niki LaPorte, and Doctor Dave's mother out of the car and into the bakery to do terrible things. Why am I not surprised Doctor Dave's mother is behind this? They're going to kill Lois, I just know it.<br />
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Darren leaves a message for Ginger that his family of 4 will be coming to the wedding, and that "there are three beefs and one chicken" referring to both that Darren requests chicken as his main entree and that he <i>is </i>chicken when it comes to revealing how he really feels. Meanwhile, Ginger proclaims that she will no longer be "chicken," but the "beef." I really don't know what that means, considering Ginger does nothing to prove her beef status. <br />
<br />
On their way to Jonas's apartment, Carl and Hoodsey finish the tail-end of their anecdote about why Buzz would fuck a cantaloupe (what else could the conversation be about?) and then they break in. Jonas's dog, Ben, pounces on Hoodsey, claiming him as his new, ahem, "friend."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgelMRAwPTY-rD0rlVJXGLJOsMuYhF81W1U5FyXdYVkiXKAQeuGTXYx48IXfrUlF0GBNIzFmF0EP_qViTRbFK4fVlZwJRJen4Ze6uAq5a7x2JlpW1WXfpa_CWF3y7VQeQ52-2hh-DR0gtA/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgelMRAwPTY-rD0rlVJXGLJOsMuYhF81W1U5FyXdYVkiXKAQeuGTXYx48IXfrUlF0GBNIzFmF0EP_qViTRbFK4fVlZwJRJen4Ze6uAq5a7x2JlpW1WXfpa_CWF3y7VQeQ52-2hh-DR0gtA/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Stop it! Stop it! You can at least buy me dinner or something." - Hoodsey</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><span><!--more--></span><div>
Carl finds that the pictures of Doctor Dave and "the other woman" have already been developed, and immediately jumps to conclusions that he's cheating on Lois. You know, I'd think the roles would be reversed here. Since Carl thinks so highly of Doctor Dave, you'd think <i>he </i>would be the one defending the hell out of him while Hoodsey would be the anxious one. I wonder why it's not like that. I guess it's so that Carl wouldn't be <i>too </i>obsessed with Doctor Dave.<br />
<br />
In the back of the bakery, Doctor Dave's mother, Niki, the baker, and travel agent go through the next part of their plan to break up the wedding. Doctor Dave's mother steals Lois's ring and gives it to Niki to pose with so that she can take pictures of "Diane" "accepting" Doctor Dave's "proposal." I don't see how this is supposed to work. Even if Lois saw these pictures, why would she think Doctor Dave would propose to another woman, knowing that he's about to marry Lois in a couple of days? Lois should know that something is up.<br />
<br />
Simone seeks Miranda for advice on Darren and Ginger, which is the <i>absolute </i>worst thing you can do. Simone would honestly be better off getting advice from Dodie.<br />
<br />
Hey look, Kapnek Krunch!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGYPZ20sBHPMQJcIrVVIYkUjmod0tOa84xSfrIwuxBIn5T13cOYHrWy6q-0ybL2Er_gN5LO9RGTbMJO4sTxZiCYop0RjTDjPHw4lVJfSJjrgmq6Gs8Q3Gtf38yntQxSU6Yygn462CIXVM/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGYPZ20sBHPMQJcIrVVIYkUjmod0tOa84xSfrIwuxBIn5T13cOYHrWy6q-0ybL2Er_gN5LO9RGTbMJO4sTxZiCYop0RjTDjPHw4lVJfSJjrgmq6Gs8Q3Gtf38yntQxSU6Yygn462CIXVM/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They're <i>Gingerly </i>delicious!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Carl and Hoodsey discuss what to do about the evidence they found, but manage to hide the discussion when Lois slithers in with a hangover. And then Blake comes over with a proposition--dressed in a dowdy beige jacket (since Noelle took his sporty navy blazer), he asks if Lois could lower the price on their house a little, since Claire is interested (not necessarily <i>interested, </i>but more like needing) in buying the Foutley house. Carl and Hoodsey are shocked to hear this coming out of Blake's own mouth, but here it is, in the same 1940s transatlantic accent, except more desperate and defeated instead of confident and snooty. Poor kid. I really feel sorry for him. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA6E5hDMcM4wgOSqn4a1t0V_6eb27y3vzqesQ3oIcBgkymZgz2qIyovHVwQ05wwT4xIXOI6Ughz5JBKXa4nFoHTN28OOOHGNVD8dRngMn-TrurGb9qAxcu1kXEJu6v9Rzt5ORUW363EHE/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA6E5hDMcM4wgOSqn4a1t0V_6eb27y3vzqesQ3oIcBgkymZgz2qIyovHVwQ05wwT4xIXOI6Ughz5JBKXa4nFoHTN28OOOHGNVD8dRngMn-TrurGb9qAxcu1kXEJu6v9Rzt5ORUW363EHE/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How can you not cry with him?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
During the rehearsal, Carl decides that Lois's love for Doctor Dave is more important, so he decides to ignore his suspicions about Doctor Dave cheating on Lois.<br />
<br />
Ginger pops into Lois's room right as she's finishing up her wedding vows. She asks Ginger to read them and make any necessary changes. The vows start off kind of sweetly silly, but then they quickly delve into something truly heartwarming that it makes you want to scream into the sky, "Why, oh why do nasty people want to break them apart?" Because quite honestly, we never got a reason why Doctor Dave's mother hates Lois so damn much, the only clue being that she's not Diane Francis. While Carl listens at the door, Ginger asks Lois how she knew Dave was her true love, and Lois says she just knows. She says love is something you have to trust and leap into blindly, because that's part of what life is all about--taking risks.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqZa9z-H0sDzvZO-trVEy33Oh4kqRgtaAlR3q3pfAVrYoDGnLLD5dcQ2aAdk_X0zr2KQ0VCtjGNPYvsFXMKoTrZ_n0iu7LuhZfnZyOB1ZDfnjlPAnPRy1PNC0FhrhCcpUKHU_OjXG5_6Q/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqZa9z-H0sDzvZO-trVEy33Oh4kqRgtaAlR3q3pfAVrYoDGnLLD5dcQ2aAdk_X0zr2KQ0VCtjGNPYvsFXMKoTrZ_n0iu7LuhZfnZyOB1ZDfnjlPAnPRy1PNC0FhrhCcpUKHU_OjXG5_6Q/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"You know, we're not put on this Earth to live perfect lives where we never get hurt or we never make mistakes. We're put here to hurl ourselves headfirst into this crazy world, and the bruises and scrapes you get along the way, they just mean you're living life." - Lois</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
And once again, a talk with Lois gives Ginger the confidence to take a chance with her life, and that could mean a medley of things at this point. No, but really, Ginger is about to ask Mr. Blue-balling Constellation out.<br />
<br />
So, the next morning is the day we've all been waiting for: Lois and Doctor Dave's wedding day. People are starting to gather in the church. In the front row, Ginger sits with Orion, their hands interlocked. I honestly can't tell which relationship is worse--both Darren and Orion are assholes in their own ways, so I can't stand seeing Ginger with either of them.<br />
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<br />
Before Darren can stare too long at the back of Ginger's head lovingly, Simone walks in (in a very pretty green dress) with slightly more attitude than before and plops down right next to Darren. Darren is surprised to see her, mainly because he doesn't <i>want </i>her there.<br />
<br />
Before this point, I don't know why Darren didn't just break up with Simone. It's obvious he doesn't want to be with her anymore.<br />
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Not only does Doctor Dave's mother show up to wreck this beautiful occasion, look who else decides to show up, uninvited:<br />
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<br />You know, maybe it's because I haven't actually seen this movie in a while, but I really don't understand how every little plan up until this moment to ruin Lois and Doctor Dave's wedding has been successful--and I use that term lightly because the four snotty bitches really didn't do anything. I mean, did Lois even notice her engagement ring was missing? Certainly Doctor Dave's mother wouldn't be so kind as to put it back on her finger. Other than the fact that Lois had a cake-induced hangover the night before, neither Lois nor Doctor Dave have really been thwarted. Sign them up for a dull honeymoon? How is that supposed to ruin them? Pretending Doctor Dave has a side chick? Lois still has no idea. You know, if you're trying to trick someone into believing their honey is sleeping around with some other piece of beef, it would be helpful to get them in on the lie so that they can be devastated to your delight. Lois was totally out of the loop this entire plan, and I don't understand it.<br />
<br />
As wealthy as Doctor Dave is, you're telling me the only organ player he could find was Ms. Zorski, and the <i>only </i>choir boy available was Higsby? Oh, dear. I can see maybe Ms. Zorski is a good organist, but why, oh why hire Higsby to sing at your wedding?!<br />
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The girls get Lois into her wedding dress and shoes right before she's set to start walking down the aisle. And then Lois hugs Dodie and Macie, saying that they're like her adopted daughters. Oh, how this moment could be sweeter if only Dodie especially was more likable. I'm just surprised Dodie isn't jealous that this wedding isn't all about her.<br />
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So, the ceremony begins, starting with Dodie and Macie--the only bridesmaids in the entire wedding--walking down the aisle, and--wait--are those prison inmates sitting in the back row? What the hell?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBxBHT-ZSUEmPtFtLeuh54WvDY7__bvTF2bM_EbGq9VEqkqiiMXbtYRJhT8rmJ5WAxocpmMGYikpq_dgeoJUFR6sQ9F-RIdHLPi3EHoQgpi4v0v9GcWyBcIx-gHtteoUUZMs499rxoN-M/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBxBHT-ZSUEmPtFtLeuh54WvDY7__bvTF2bM_EbGq9VEqkqiiMXbtYRJhT8rmJ5WAxocpmMGYikpq_dgeoJUFR6sQ9F-RIdHLPi3EHoQgpi4v0v9GcWyBcIx-gHtteoUUZMs499rxoN-M/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I bet they're only here for the buffet. Let's hope they specified beef or chicken.</td></tr>
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Then Ginger walks down the aisle, and we get a better shot of everyone who came. Courtney and Blake are even in attendance, but are dressed in ratty clothing. Look, I know they're poor now, but that doesn't mean they have to act like it. Certainly, they could go to Target and buy a dress and suit for the wedding. They may not be getting their clothes from the south of France anymore, but jeez, have they lost all identity? Being poor is not the end of the world. Show some dignity, you two.<br />
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And so, it's time for Lois to walk down the aisle. Carl escorts her. Why am I not surprised? I suppose the animators didn't want to waste money drawing new family members and adding new voices. This happens so often in TV shows and movies, you probably didn't even notice it. I refuse to believe that Lois is the only adult relative Carl and Ginger have.<br />
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By the way, those inmates? They're escorting Mr. Gripling. I had thought they were friends of Carl's prison pen pal and would have totally believed it.<br />
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As soon as the pastor says "If anyone knows why these two should not be married, speak now..." yadda yadda yadda, all hell breaks loose. To my surprise, Doctor Dave's mother doesn't jump up so fast she breaks her hip. Niki as Diane raises her hand first, saying that she and Doctor Dave are still in love, proving it with the photo of "Diane" tripping herself and falling into the Doc's arms. And then Jonas runs up there with his reasons, and even Hoodsey wants to join in. It's just, oh, it's a mess.<br />
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Before things get too crazy, Noelle shows up with the <i>real </i>Diane Francis. I wonder how she managed to get a hold of her. And so, the entire plot is starting to unravel. I bet the people in the pews are thinking this is more forcefully dramatic than an entire <i>Bridesmaids </i>marathon.<br />
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And then Noelle pulls back the wigs to reveal that *trumpet sounding* Niki LaPorte is actually <i>Nicholas. </i>Really? Really now? A transvestite? Just... why?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkeawvS6iGq3iw6v4LMyWFtqNXqnIm4YMCQHuNAiHYf8ECTrCyQ0zDpoSZ_L9e84hsA-nFAobtGYK08jxfHHIMwM3RG_JWw35Rvw8plIPxUVjeKzYfhJjvu4r3RGC7aefqY6L7tIDkMAI/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkeawvS6iGq3iw6v4LMyWFtqNXqnIm4YMCQHuNAiHYf8ECTrCyQ0zDpoSZ_L9e84hsA-nFAobtGYK08jxfHHIMwM3RG_JWw35Rvw8plIPxUVjeKzYfhJjvu4r3RGC7aefqY6L7tIDkMAI/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I will say one thing... he makes a very convincing hideous woman.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>Okay, so why is Niki a man in the first place? Was that supposed to make the situation funnier? The blame for this whole shtick is traced unsurprisingly back to Doctor Dave's "poor, incontinent" mother. Ew. Did not need to know that. And then Lois faints. Doctor Dave isn't messing around anymore. For the first time in, probably ever, he puts his foot down and stands up to his bitch excuse for a mother, kicks her out of his life, and she leaves with a shrug. Good on you, Doctor Dave! I knew you'd come around!<br />
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And then the dog comes back for the third time, and Carl recognizes him to be Monster. Hey, I was right! The unseen Monster has finally returned! On his way to pounce on Carl, he knocks Doctor Dave's mother over, breaking her hip. Yes! And then Carl gets a lick down from his long, lost puppers.<br />
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Monster licks Lois awake, and the wedding slowly crawls back to normal. Doctor Dave proposes to Lois once again, to make sure she still wants to marry him after all this, and she accepts. And thus, the wedding goes on, closing out with a painful song in Higsby's annoying little voice. When will this kid hit puberty already?<br />
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To close out this movie, we have a voiceover from an older Ginger reading the last few pages of her newly-published book, <i>As Told by Ginger</i>, which is revealed to have been a collection of short stories from her childhood, the entire series. We get to see the main cast about ten years in the future. Doctor Dave is there with Lois, old and graying. Carl is a news reporter. Hoodsey stays fat. Dodie and Chet appear to be married (and with a Dodie spawn, oh God). How the hell did Dodie find a husband willing to take her on as a wife? Macie is there, looking sweet as ever, and Darren is at the end with a red-headed black baby. Ginger's baby. <div><br /></div><div>Where is Courtney, though? Is she not there because she was never really Ginger's friend? It would have been nice to to see where she ended up. It also would have been nice to see Ginger with a better husband, but hey, toxic relationships rule. <br /><div><br /></div><div>You know, I really hoped that this ending would have been different. Ginger managed to keep Dodie around through adulthood, so I have no sympathy if anything goes wrong in her life because of Dodie. But who knows? Maybe Dodie ended up a decent human being after all. I sincerely hope so. <br />
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And then Ginger closes her book. Notice how the front cover shows the pilot Ginger. And that's it, folks, that's the life of a teenage girl growing up with friends, family, and first love. A collection of short stories <i>As Told by Ginger.</i><br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Series: </b>nothing worth having ever comes easy; the only way to live life is to deal with it straight on; the people who love you most will stand by your side.<br /><br /></div></div><span><!--more--></span></div><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-32486367998276392752015-08-30T15:25:00.003-04:002022-10-22T10:55:23.948-04:00Season 3, Episode 57: "Ten Chairs"Ginger nearly dies again when trying to grab a box of Thanksgiving decorations from a high shelf in the garage. All the little cornucopias and turkey figurines scatter the floor, but that's not as important as the golden platter Ginger catches in one fell swoop.<br />
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Carl comes into the garage dressed like a pilgrim, and he looks quite adorable. He searches the tool box for a wrench to help Doctor Dave fix up the pressure fryer, so I assume they're going to be deep-frying a turkey for Thanksgiving. As intelligent as Doctor Dave is, I would think he'd stray from this dangerous method of cooking. All over the news every year, I hear of people nearly blowing their limbs off from deep-frying their turkey--mostly from people who have no business being in the kitchen in the first place.<br />
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Apparently, the platter belongs to Jonas and his family, and must have forgotten to take it with him when he abandoned his wife and kids some ten years ago. Already, we can tell Carl is still sore from Jonas being a deadbeat, and yes, Jonas will be appearing in this episode. Let's just get that out of the way.<br />
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So now, Carl and Hoodsey are vegan all of a sudden, but Carl is happy to help Doctor Dave set up the pressure fryer anyway. Doctor Dave laments the fact that he's a star surgeon, but a caveman when it comes to mechanical devices.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Ooh, that's hot!" - Doctor Dave</td></tr>
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And now, Doctor Dave isn't allowed to touch the fancy machinery.<br />
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We learn that the Bishops are coming over for Thanksgiving, mostly because Lois feels guilty for Carl possibly breaking Joann's arm by accident. And then Ginger asks if she can invite one more person, to which she keeps a "surprise" from Lois. Because she knows Lois wouldn't want Jonas in her house on Thanksgiving, but decides to sneak behind her back anyway. How selfish! Why oh why do I have a feeling this won't go down well? She goes to Jonas's apartment and invites him over, but Jonas is skeptical of how Lois and Carl would feel about him being there, intruding on their Jonas-free life with the wealthy Doctor Dave about to swoop in and claim them under his name. Of course, Ginger lies and says her mother and brother would be pleased to have him, because even Ginger knows it's a bad idea. Almost as bad as inviting Joann back to the once mold-filled house to eat food.<br />
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So, Carl and Hoodsey aren't <i>really </i>subjecting themselves to this alternative lifestyle of meatlessness--Carl says it'll help them "cleanse their karma" by going vegan and wants to urge everyone else to do the same. Oh, jeez. This reminds me of that one episode of <i>Everybody Loves Raymond </i>when Marie and Debra go on a health kick and try to get their family to eat a tofurkey (tofu turkey), much to everyone else's disgust.<br />
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It's funny how Carl claims he's an atheist, yet believes in karma, a key part of Buddhism and Hinduism. Then again, the word karma has evolved to be secular-- it's become so misused that it is often used as an alternative way to say "an eye for an eye." Does that mean Carl believes his entire species will eventually become another animal's national holiday dish?<br />
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The boys go up to the guy selling turkeys and ask for a live turkey to set free. It's adorable how Carl and Hoodsey think they can save the world from animal cruelty by saving one turkey out of the hundreds of millions globally.<br />
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Ginger writes in her journal about how she feels sorry for Jonas that he would have been alone on Thanksgiving if she hadn't invited him. She realizes it was ridiculous to invite him under false pretenses, barely considering how uncomfortable the entire dinner is going to be now. She hears Carl and Hoodsey sneaking their live turkey into the doghouse (she doesn't know exactly what's going on, though), and boy does the turkey look PISSED. It destroys the doghouse and most of its contents, including scarfing down Carl's petrified eyeball. Oh, that is disgusting!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq9QDOa1Ee3omQIiXDD3kIJZegty1q99NQ7kO-3POuTbqz_hL5HyBYIRD9ezr3fA19UfKblntPKTw8T6yxpeNZb76HGYj4fRL3JYP60ujXyDNxIuJZrbN_Y3xiy8FxnB0uxxvOtHsyDMI/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq9QDOa1Ee3omQIiXDD3kIJZegty1q99NQ7kO-3POuTbqz_hL5HyBYIRD9ezr3fA19UfKblntPKTw8T6yxpeNZb76HGYj4fRL3JYP60ujXyDNxIuJZrbN_Y3xiy8FxnB0uxxvOtHsyDMI/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No! Not the eyeball!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
There's a loud crash coming from downstairs. At first, I thought it was the turkey escaping and going to hunt down Carl for his own eyeballs, but it turns out to be Doctor Dave's mother breaking in with a turkey of her own. Lois finds her in the kitchen--at 4 in the morning, mind you, ready to shove her turkey into the oven. Lois tells her that they already have a turkey ready to be deep-fried, but Doctor Dave's mother would rather eat something she touched and stuffed herself, because she is a bitch.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRim8mFX1ZF2CiG3qHM1jWpSWwcOCOZmG_7KP0SECua7KgN-UsyPiCoUBbW2oJ4pT4Xiu5Myj6VYhFj_fX5nHNUFsHlHmIjkj7HsQNkL8smIRvkdHaVmeycDZrlVoz9tMqBvQCqWh81CU/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRim8mFX1ZF2CiG3qHM1jWpSWwcOCOZmG_7KP0SECua7KgN-UsyPiCoUBbW2oJ4pT4Xiu5Myj6VYhFj_fX5nHNUFsHlHmIjkj7HsQNkL8smIRvkdHaVmeycDZrlVoz9tMqBvQCqWh81CU/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That turkey should have tinfoil over it to keep it from drying out. And the legs should be tied together to prevent spillage of stuffing. And she's cooking for 10 hours. This old bag doesn't know the first thing about cooking.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
She also "sampled" all of Lois's pies (why would she need that many in the first place?) by sticking her finger in each one. Ew, I don't even want to think about where those fingers might have been. Instead of throwing the old bag out of her house, Lois bites her tongue and drowns her frustrations in large cups of coffee. Hmm, I thought she was kicking that habit.<br />
<br />
As Carl feeds the manic turkey, Hoodsey leaves to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV.<br />
<br />
Doctor Dave's mother surprisingly shows a pinch of sympathy when Ginger mentions her guest (AKA Jonas) doesn't have anywhere else to go for Thanksgiving. Lois says he's happy to come, and then Doctor Dave's mother reverts back into bitch mode by saying Lois shouldn't just allow anyone to walk into her house off the streets. And then Lois goes into the kitchen to mash every potato that vaguely resembles Doctor Dave's mother's face.<br />
<br />
And so, the Bishops arrive.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPEZ0AREG8BgV7GL2voRi6fGSWD6rQMZkR29xaNvV7k1uDwz2O3nLYLp3bitDO6b3vWtSm1oSxPkRwtu_JGTL3Euhbk-puLZ4fjCmFpAGV76PhUw94IfoOm0nNvwyoJt-5g_pxti1tqZc/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPEZ0AREG8BgV7GL2voRi6fGSWD6rQMZkR29xaNvV7k1uDwz2O3nLYLp3bitDO6b3vWtSm1oSxPkRwtu_JGTL3Euhbk-puLZ4fjCmFpAGV76PhUw94IfoOm0nNvwyoJt-5g_pxti1tqZc/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Oh, good. Now your mother will have another crone to play with." - Lois</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Lois tries to make nice with Doctor Dave's mother by introducing her to the Bishops, but Doctor Dave's mother ignores them to continue watching TV. Honestly, we get that you hate Lois, you bitch. You don't need to give Joann another reason to continue talking shit about Lois and her family.<br />
<br />
Dodie notices there are ten chairs at the dining table instead of nine, and asks Ginger who the extra chair is for. Ginger confides in Dodie that it's for Jonas. Surprisingly, this conversation puts Dodie in the right and Ginger in the wrong. Yeah, I was blown away, too. Dodie makes an excellent point about how this is Lois's first Thanksgiving with her soon-to-be husband, and for Ginger to invite her mother's ex-husband is disastrous at the very least. Okay, who are you, and what have you done with the real Dodie Bishop? I'd love to add you to the main cast and keep the real Dodie locked away in whatever cage you have her in. We'll slide her food twice a day and make sure to change her newspapers.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY4EsU_JMQPL3vPAhmjfXrfT35TPkkoe05dQ1bd9831We9Ff-AQNrtOBEsOcFOpuKhIuO8DgMRIWT-5zjrHa0bSfv0yis2rxxD49Y7pixr7vT2oeBNj_sYZHiY69ZoV5wtc1omtFF0wBI/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY4EsU_JMQPL3vPAhmjfXrfT35TPkkoe05dQ1bd9831We9Ff-AQNrtOBEsOcFOpuKhIuO8DgMRIWT-5zjrHa0bSfv0yis2rxxD49Y7pixr7vT2oeBNj_sYZHiY69ZoV5wtc1omtFF0wBI/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ginger is me, realizing that Dodie is actually making sense for once.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
The doorbell rings, and it's Jonas. You can cut the tension with a razor blade as soon as Jonas steps inside. Doctor Dave's mother, of course, makes snide comments about Jonas being invited over despite being Lois's ex, Lois looks like she wants to kick Ginger's ass, and Carl gets so upset that he calls Doctor Dave "Dad" right in front of Jonas. The Bishop clan is the only group who seems oblivious to the situation, especially since half of them know Jonas is Lois's ex-husband. Perhaps they're just trying to keep the peace. I'm surprised Joann is relatively humane.<br />
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<br />
Ginger chases after Carl so she can chew him out for being so rude, but Carl refuses to see Jonas as anything but the bearer of half his chromosomes. He doesn't give a shit that he made Jonas feel awful in front of everybody, because he's not a father like Doctor Dave is. Look, I understand Carl is entitled to his feelings about Jonas and Doctor Dave, but it was very immature of him to disregard Jonas like that as if Jonas beat him as a baby or something. There's honestly no reason for Carl to resent Jonas in this regard. At least Jonas is making an effort to be part of the family. While I wish we could have gotten an episode or at least a B-plot on why Jonas left in the first place, I can't help but to feel bad for the guy. Yes, he made a mistake in the past by just upping and leaving, but until we get more to the story (we're not going to, though it would have been much appreciated), I'm siding with Jonas.<br />
<br />
Poor Doctor Dave is put in an awkward position that this kid is calling him "Dad" in front of his actual father. That's got to be uncomfortable as hell. I wonder how much eggnog it's going to take for Lois to numb her anxiety over her ex-husband and soon-to-be husband in the same household.<br />
<br />
Ginger goes back inside after losing the argument and--uh oh... the turkey got loose.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg83Cr9hkNpwb4XDrFeFjeu1ayLoiILY_RWIY-h72Sr4PdAQ-FWCiVPLVENlmQegVsbUdi3u6uZZUzyal6l6w77mTPpDbcICpRnOneEmbP0Uv3Bs4-F_88qWDdPauvlky8igZ8BXZsFo9A/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg83Cr9hkNpwb4XDrFeFjeu1ayLoiILY_RWIY-h72Sr4PdAQ-FWCiVPLVENlmQegVsbUdi3u6uZZUzyal6l6w77mTPpDbcICpRnOneEmbP0Uv3Bs4-F_88qWDdPauvlky8igZ8BXZsFo9A/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wouldn't someone have heard the turkey getting out?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Lois keeps her cool as she quietly scolds Ginger on her choice of guest. Ginger throws back what Lois had said earlier about how the holidays are meant for people to come together, but Lois's point about how there are more feelings to consider than just her own hits the nail on the head. Basically, Ginger only invited Jonas because <i>she </i>wanted him there, and didn't care that Lois, Carl, and Doctor Dave would be uncomfortable with it. I suspect that Ginger wishes Lois and Jonas would get back together instead of Lois marrying Doctor Dave.<br />
<br />
But you know what? I cannot understand why.<br />
<br />
Here's the thing: Jonas left shortly after Carl was born, right? And since Carl is only 2-3 years younger than Ginger, Ginger couldn't have even been in preschool yet by the time Jonas left. While, yes, Ginger had more time spent with Jonas, it's highly unlikely she would have remembered any of their bonding. So, we know Ginger barely even knew who Jonas was during the time of his marriage to Lois. So why is she supposedly so attached to him now?<br />
<br />
We know Ginger has been seeing Jonas sporadically over the course of her life. Once or twice a year, I suppose. That's certainly not enough time to develop a relationship with a parent. There must be something about Jonas that Ginger admires--something we haven't seen--because it seems like Ginger wants Jonas as a father more than Doctor Dave. There's nothing Jonas says or does that shows he's any more worthy of a father than Doctor Dave is. Honestly, I don't even remember a time where Ginger spent any time with Doctor Dave, other than when he yanked out her bleeding appendix a few episodes back. They never had any on-screen conversations, never shown any similar interests, and probably don't know anything about each other any more than what Lois might have mentioned. I honestly have no idea how Ginger views Doctor Dave, but it cannot be very highly, considering they have virtually no interaction whatsoever. Is this a lazy way of showing why Ginger favors Jonas more than Doctor Dave?<br />
<br />
Lois comes back with fresh eggnog, and tells Jonas she wishes she could have spiked it. Wow, how did THAT get past the censors?!<br />
<br />
Jonas fires up the pressure fryer (which is WAY too close to the house), and then we cut to the families eating Lois's pretzel salad, which Joann compliments Lois on. Really, why is she being so humane?! I like it! Doctor Dave's mother keeps making bitchy comments about Jonas being Lois's ex-husband that's unbelievably rude and uncalled for, when the deep-fried turkey suddenly comes flying in through the window and across the table.<br />
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<br />
Okay, how would that happen unless the top of the pressure flyer was pointed directly at that window? And that thing was screwed on tight. Unless Doctor Dave pulled it out of the deep-fryer and hurled it through the window at his mother to shut her up, I can't see how that would happen like that. By the way--I can't believe I forgot to mention this: Why would Doctor Dave invite his mother over to Lois's house again when he knows she's going to shit-talk her and everything she does or doesn't do? Does he <i>have </i>to bring her? Why doesn't he say anything to her? I never understood this. It's not like Doctor Dave is some kid who has to stay with his crotchety mother. He's a grown man and should make his own decisions. Including telling her to stop making everyone uncomfortable with all her insults.<br />
<br />
Oh yeah, that's right. This show is the quintessential PSA for staying in toxic relationships.<br />
<br />
Anyway, the turkey ends up knocking Joann out of her chair for some reason (just to hurt her more since she has that broken arm, I suppose), and thus, everyone is forced to eat Doctor Dave's mother's turkey that's dryer than her vag.<br />
<br />
I'm not kidding--you can see the look on everyone's face that they totally abhor her turkey. I told you to cover it in tin foil! I also questioned leaving it in the oven for 10 hours! So now, there are two ruined turkeys. If I were them, I'd just call up the local Popeye's and order a bucket of fried chicken to go with the meal (personally, I prefer Popeye's over KFC).<br />
<br />
As Carl explains why he and Hoodsey no longer eat meat, you can see the manic turkey climbing the stairs:<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid5zvQk5zYQ3rT0zbL4P-wEimqIHJDZZf6pBZ9GMTbp-vHk8PnyPxxoZ5d_MIkzrO261gP5n0rBGIC1S2r_edkSFYwyp1QLQCnPd5Ns9uRwJgnvyCTCzYIah07xS3PIHGlkCjuJtmlCnQ/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid5zvQk5zYQ3rT0zbL4P-wEimqIHJDZZf6pBZ9GMTbp-vHk8PnyPxxoZ5d_MIkzrO261gP5n0rBGIC1S2r_edkSFYwyp1QLQCnPd5Ns9uRwJgnvyCTCzYIah07xS3PIHGlkCjuJtmlCnQ/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How no one notices this is beyond me.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
More insults from the old bag are thrown across the table (Seriously, someone tell her to shut her pie-hole or kick her out already! Even Dodie isn't this awful to people!). And then, as an act of rebellion against Lois's supposedly stale marshmallows in the yams, Doctor Dave munches on a yam, and then kisses Lois. If that's the extent of Doctor Dave's backbone, there's no hope for him surviving in the Foutley clan.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW9SnqmuShQITzIOaQ611AJp5_8Noh7oGBh7cBFcW7VGIFqso0CJB9fiCjHAB6JflcIEki-g50qoiMNPnpkl5mwYEFWKT5dRP3N4vvemZbedFNs7JEb-9oYgrMWWhdXb5TffW5n4UCdLQ/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW9SnqmuShQITzIOaQ611AJp5_8Noh7oGBh7cBFcW7VGIFqso0CJB9fiCjHAB6JflcIEki-g50qoiMNPnpkl5mwYEFWKT5dRP3N4vvemZbedFNs7JEb-9oYgrMWWhdXb5TffW5n4UCdLQ/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Methinks Jonas still has some feelings left for Lois.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Jonas makes conversation with Doctor Dave's mother about how she should go into the turkey jerky business, since Doctor Dave blew up the pressure fryer, but he meant that as a joke. Carl retorts back that it wasn't a funny joke, and that "grandma's" turkey is wonderful, so he takes a bite out of it, ending his 17 minute-long veganism. And then Hoodsey joins in after he learns all of Carl's talk of cleansing their souls was a bunch of hoopla. He calls Doctor Dave's mother's turkey dry, which comes as a surprise to the she-beast, but chickenshit Doctor Dave deflects that comment. I wonder what happened the last time he insulted his mother or called her out on anything. I bet she rammed an egg beater up his ass and pulsed his spine into the wet noodle that it is today. Hey, look at that--he and Ginger finally have something in common!<br />
<br />
The turkey Carl and Hoodsey were keeping hostage is making noise, so the boys go out to investigate. Meanwhile, Carl tells Hoodsey that Ginger should have never invited Jonas over since it's not fair to Doctor Dave. Hoodsey mentions that it doesn't even seem like he cares Jonas is there, and that he's more upset about his turkey that shot glass shards at everyone's faces.<br />
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And then we cut back to the dining room, where the turkey has everyone cornered.<br />
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<br />
The turkey takes a bite out of Joann's arm cast right as Joann starts reverting back to her old self. Doctor Dave's mother makes a remark about how turkeys should be eaten, and I guess this turkey is sentient now because he reacts by attacking the living shit out of her. Right on!<br />
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<br />
The turkey ends off biting part of her ear off (what is it with this turkey eating body parts?!) though the animation does not show this. Probably too gory for children. Doctor Dave takes his mother to the ER, the Bishops high-tail it out of the Foutley house, and Jonas wrestles the turkey to the ground, stuffing him back into the doghouse. What's the point? He escaped there once--what makes you think he won't do it again?<br />
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<br />
After the turkey is nailed back into the doghouse, Jonas remarks that he remembers when they (as in, he and Carl) built the doghouse for Monster. How, if he left when Carl was just born? Certainly he didn't come back when Carl was a child and agree to build it with him. Continuity error!<br />
<br />
After everything is calm, Jonas comes in to talk to Carl, and tries his damn hardest to get Carl to realize that things happen in life, and that it was easier if he and Lois divorced rather than stayed married and hated each other. He finally breaks through to Carl a little bit, and they agree to go wash dishes together before Lois gets back from the ER with Doctor Dave and his mother.<br />
<br />
Ginger is finally happy Carl and Jonas are getting along. In her voiceover, she says that it's pointless to try to create the perfect family, since that doesn't exist, but instead embrace the imperfections. Because they're the only family you have until you can marry and create your own.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>don't invite people over if their presence will make other family members uncomfortable; don't go vegan to "cleanse your karma;" consider others' feelings when making important decisions involving other people<br />
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<br /><span><!--more--></span></div><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-38988755044985898042015-08-23T16:36:00.001-04:002022-10-22T11:00:00.058-04:00Season 3, Episode 56: "Battle of the Bands"Finally, things are returning back to normal in Sheltered Shrubs... or are they?<br />
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Macie just got cut from band--along with a bunch of other people--because the school board deemed stain-resistant uniforms for the football team to be more important than developing skills in music. What does a football team need with stain-resistant uniforms anyway? They'll probably spend time trying to get them stained just to see if they work. Because teenagers, man.<br />
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Ginger gets more upset about this than you'd think, mostly because she's bashing the new uniforms out of spite of Darren and his new cheerleader girlfriend. Dodie, naturally, is ecstatic about the uniforms, so everyone gives her the stink-eye until she changes her mind. So, Ginger announces that they're all going to fight this new stain-resistance and take back the arts. <i>Vive la bande! </i><br />
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The next scene cuts to Courtney--hey, we haven't seen her in a while! How are you doing, girl? Courtney is trying to balance slathering on her ridiculously expensive makeup while trying to get good reception on her new <i>$2,000 state-of-the-art</i> <i>Toshubi </i>cell phone. Why is that even something Courtney has to announce for us? We know she has the most expensive phone on the market. Maybe even on the black market.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR3J_sEtuannaaGtk1e_w7TRwd7UVWRcuLO-Am8FMWdU2KLAuJWxaIE5_ELIJ-DTb-VmZ7Glce-mv7OBJ9K1exD54bJUevGAMQKphuAYJh4MYIYdgGCy0v8_hJsEmz1m41Jam_FZHRoQQ/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR3J_sEtuannaaGtk1e_w7TRwd7UVWRcuLO-Am8FMWdU2KLAuJWxaIE5_ELIJ-DTb-VmZ7Glce-mv7OBJ9K1exD54bJUevGAMQKphuAYJh4MYIYdgGCy0v8_hJsEmz1m41Jam_FZHRoQQ/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The only reason why Courtney's phone looks like an iStone is because this show is supposedly still supposed to be taking place in the early 2000s. At least, I think that's why.</td></tr>
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The girls who just walked in are being too loud for Courtney to hear, so she tells them to button their yaps. Understandably, the girls get confused and offended. They listen in as Courtney tells her mama that the girls are hideous with their awful nose jobs (come now, that's not nice!), so they rip the phone from Courtney's hand and throw it into a toilet. Another one of Courtney's phones starts ringing, so the girls toss that one, too. What is this, three phones of Courtney's that got destroyed in this series? They tell Courtney to stay out of the bathroom, otherwise they'll dunk her into a toilet too, and then they stuff her into a garbage can.<br />
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I am appalled at all three of them. Courtney had no reason to insult the girls, just like the girls had no excuse to toss her phones and stuff Courtney into the garbage can just because they're upperclassmen. That's just straight-up bullying. Where are all of Courtney's "friends" she had in junior high, and why aren't they surrounding her in a protective bubble? Oh, right. They never really were friends in the first place. Sad.<br />
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In the junior high school, Carl hallucinates the class snake begging him to release him from his tank. Carl tells the snake that he doesn't do those kinds of things anymore because he's in junior high now. I swear, if this was a more adult-oriented show, Carl would be a recovering meth addict spiraling towards relapse.<br />
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Still, it's interesting to see Carl struggling to maintain "good" behavior, itching to return to his former, scheming self. What needs to be explained further is why Carl decided to ditch his scheming in the first place. It can't just be because he's in junior high. I'm wondering if this has something to do with Doctor Dave being part of his life now, and the addition of a new father figure gives Carl no excuse to act out for attention anymore. That's my guess. There really should have been an episode on that--I bet it would have won an Emmy.<br />
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Carl tells Hoodsey all about his hallucinations and its side effects, right down to his chronic diarrhea. Hoodsey reminds Carl that they made a pact and that they should stick to it, even though Carl desperately misses the taste of badness.<br />
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Ginger spies on Darren and Simone sniffing each other's hair, because she has nothing better to do than kill her opinion of Darren even further. Once Simone walks away, Ginger rips Darren a new asshole about the stain resistant uniforms, but Darren's holier-than-thou attitude about football causes Ginger to dismiss the whole conversation and walk away.<br />
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Courtney gets hauled away in a helicopter ambulance--because being shoved into a trash can is totally worthy of emergency medical treatment in ICU. Courtney, I love you, but you are seriously spoiled.<br />
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Ginger continues her soapbox speech about how her dedication to taking back the music program is totally <i>not </i>about getting back at Darren and Simone. Honestly, shut up, Ginger. We all know you wouldn't give two shits about the music program if it was Darren sniffing <i>your</i> hair by the lockers. It's over between you two. Accept it.<br />
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A forklift comes by the parking lot to drop off a new, fancy port-a-potty for Courtney, and plops it down in vice principal Grundig's parking spot right as he drives up to it to begin his long, miserable day. He tells Courtney to get that box out of his spot, but Courtney says no, unless he eliminates bathroom bullying. How is he supposed to do that? Install cameras in there? Well, Courtney does have a news crew nearby who'll have a field day if the vice principal doesn't give into her demands (which I have to admit, is reasonable in an unorthodox way).<br />
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Grundig doesn't give a shit, so he angrily assigns Courtney detention, and the news crew goes into action (after nudging from Courtney) reporting on the negligence of school authority handling bullying. Maybe once you're rich, you can hire the Channel 1 News to take care of your bullying situation, too.<br />
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I truly feel bad for Courtney. The least Grundig could do is apologize for Courtney being bullied (even though Courtney was the one who instigated the cattiness). Alas, he and his giant bald spot do not care.<br />
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Ginger goes to the principal to fight against the cutting of the music program. There, the football coach also demonstrates how stain resistant the uniforms are by smearing ketchup on both of them, rising them in water, and showing off how one's perfectly clean, and the other is soiled. Thank you, Billy Mays.<br />
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The idiot principal considers this to be a compelling argument, because what's a kid show without brain dead adults? But then he tells Ginger if she can get 400 signatures from the student body going against the new uniforms, he'll take her case to the superintendent. Despite that being <i>some </i>progress, this whole plot still doesn't make much sense.<br />
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1) Who decided the football team needed these magic uniforms in the first place? They might not get stained, but the boys will still need to wash them after every game--hopefully they will.<br />
2) Why is band being cut, but not another program? As in, who came to the conclusion that band would be the right choice to cut to make room in the budget for these uniforms?<br />
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None of these are explained, which makes this plot so ridiculous and unrealistic that it's actually giving me a headache.<br />
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Oh, here's another conflict--according to Macie, there are only 432 students in the entire school. So, to get 400 signatures, Ginger will have to get practically everyone besides the football team's signatures. That's outrageous. Not to mention, how tiny is Sheltered Shrubs to have a high school of only 432 students? It's not like it actually is a tiny town--we've seen far shots of it. It's quite sizable. Then again, this is probably just my perception of a tiny school. My high school had 3,200 students, with roughly 800+ students in my graduating class. But that's probably because I don't live in Sheltered Shrubs.<br />
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Dodie struggles with the life-changing dilemma of whether or not to write her name down on the petition. Because it's fucking Dodie and her fucking obsession with pep, that's why! I seriously cannot deal with this shit anymore.<br />
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Not only that, but Darren's incoherent speech about not letting "a few bad apples" spoil the football team's chance to "stain" the school get in the way, and everyone around him, including Macie, agree. With 376 signatures left to go, Ginger isn't giving up. I admire her persistence, but her desperation to stick it to Darren is seriously annoying. And not the kind of annoyance I feel with Dodie. It's the kind of annoyance I feel with the writing of the episode.<br />
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Carl is seriously on the cusp of cracking from the lack of pranking. While he is trying so hard, I must say this is kind of sad to watch.<br />
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Hoodsey reminds Carl that he made a promise not to cause chaos in their junior high school, but Carl discovers a loophole--technically, he never said he couldn't do bad things in <i>other </i>peoples' schools. And so, Carl is going to do something awful at the high school.<br />
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The next morning, Ginger tries (and fails) to buy everyone's signatures through adorable musical note cookies by greeting everyone who passes by name, but they ignore her because Ginger has become a real spaz lately. Darren makes an announcement over the loudspeakers that anyone who hasn't signed Ginger's silly petition is welcome to free low-fat smoothies in the cafeteria with him and the pep squad. Damn, Darren. You're a special kind of dick, aren't you?<br />
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Naturally, Dodie runs off to grab a smoothie, as her pep squad career is hanging by the hairs on her swollen little head. Ginger really should have just told her to shove the smoothie up her ass instead of trying to convince her otherwise. I know I'd be stupid to believe Ginger had any brain cells left at this point in the series, but it's fun to imagine how this series would have went down my way.<br />
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Meanwhile, Carl and Hoodsey sneak down the halls for some tomfoolery.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL-yhpLgK3TIBe6nXb-BErJRLVCDrOUda8mWfcHALcCjOj9trrft2EIEmT6B_EnG2gnG0hzUQbNCm6g6pZ0vNUM6LS4VQwsBALFu8kwK3yw7Nt-bP7qdyIXj04G23DW2oKB4eDYDyYROk/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL-yhpLgK3TIBe6nXb-BErJRLVCDrOUda8mWfcHALcCjOj9trrft2EIEmT6B_EnG2gnG0hzUQbNCm6g6pZ0vNUM6LS4VQwsBALFu8kwK3yw7Nt-bP7qdyIXj04G23DW2oKB4eDYDyYROk/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What is up with Hoodsey's mouth?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
They go outside and spot Courtney's port-a-potty, thinking it belongs to Grundig, and immediately start forming a plan.<br />
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If this is not sad, nerdy, and pathetic, well--I guess Dodie is always a good alternative:<br />
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Ginger notices Orion has been drinking one of Darren's smoothies, and chastises him for it. Ginger angrily stares Darren down as he poses with girls for pictures and continues acting like an arrogant ass just to spite Ginger. Honestly, I don't see why Darren broke up with her--their personalities fit perfectly.<br />
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Macie then decides to give up protesting, as the psychological pull of popularity is too strong for even her to fight against. And then Ginger drops to her knees in defeat. She actually does, too--what a drama queen.<br />
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It's so obvious Ginger's whole protest is about her getting back at Darren that even Lois has it figured out. Ginger straight-up refuses to admit it, so she kicks Lois out of her room when she tries to suggest ways of making up with him. Please. The day Ginger admits she was wrong is the day Dodie gives up on trying to be popular.<br />
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And then, the day of the next football game, something happens. The day when my entire opinion of the show takes a sharp nosedive into the pits of Nickelodeon Hell. Left turn at post SpongeBob movie episodes, take the exit into shitty live-action teen dramedies, last stop at this:<br />
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Thank you for all the laughs and tears, Ms. Kapnek. But I'm afraid your show has officially overstayed its welcome with this monstrosity. A show I once took seriously as a breath of fresh air for realistic situations, original drama, and depth beyond the typical toon farce--all abandoned--and now our once-loved Ginger looks like the biggest jackass to have been spared from American television. This show was supposed to be above groan-worthy moments. This show was supposed to have a likable and relatable main character. Alas, that is no more. And if I hadn't already watched "Ten Chairs" and "The Wedding Frame," I'd be skeptical about even finishing this blog because it would seem hypocritical of me to be shitting on a show that, at the beginning, I praised for everything mentioned above.<br />
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End rant.<br />
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Carl and Hoodsey prepare to do something terrible to Courtney's port-a-potty, and they're talking really loudly that it makes me wonder why Courtney can't hear them. Sure, she has the hairdryer running, but even then, she has to be able to hear voices. The boys start rolling the box across the parking lot and towards the football field, all while Courtney is being jostled around in there and getting toilet water all in her hair. Ew.<br />
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Ginger prepares to humiliate herself. Meanwhile, Carl and Hoodsey accidentally let the port-a-potty roll down the hill and directly onto the field. I swear, this accidental bullying against Courtney couldn't have gone more perfectly.<br />
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The port-a-potty rolls right in Darren's path. He tackles it to the ground, thinking it's another player. My God, how strong did Darren get to be able to tackle a damn port-a-potty to the ground like that?! Ginger then comes out near one of the end zones and attempts to disrupt the game by doing her pathetic cheers, but she's ignored on account of everyone is staring at this mysterious pink box that just rolled onto the field. Courtney climbs out--soaked, beaten, and missing a shoe--to the entire school pointing and laughing at her. And taking pictures to post to the Lucky High Facebook page. Oh, that's just pig awful! Poor Courtney!<br />
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She really doesn't deserve all this abuse. Yeah, she said some mean things to the girls in the bathroom, but that doesn't mean she deserves this. Courtney runs away, with many new nicknames and many more years of bullying and harassment on her back for this. If I were her, I'd change schools. Immediately.<br />
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Darren sees Ginger in the distance in her big ass ear costume (where would one find an ear costume, anyway?) with her little sign, and they both exchange a look of shame before Ginger sheds the costume and walks off. Sometime later, Ginger sees someone hauling away the stain-resistant jerseys, as the football team complained of them being "too uncomfortable" and "itchy." Ginger then looks over at Darren, and I guess he was the one who told his teammates to give up the jerseys so Ginger would stop parading around like an imbecile. So, what, is Darren supposed to be the "good guy" after all?<br />
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You know, this episode would have ended better if Ginger didn't get what she wanted. Because that would be realistic. Ah, what does this show know about realism anymore?<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>if you cry, protest, and complain hard enough, you too can get your way; the key to getting over your addiction is to relapse once more in a big way; every episode, I noticed, has to end on some positive note, because that's how life is.<span><!--more--></span></div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-53764686181080100722015-08-15T13:14:00.001-04:002022-10-22T11:01:32.496-04:00Season 3, Episode 55: "Dodie's Big Break"Salutations, fans! I'm going to be away for the next two days, and won't be near my computer, so this review is being posted early. Consider this a gift from me to you. Oh, and please excuse my excessive foul language--an episode like this warrants this level of anger.<br />
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I cannot even begin to describe how much this episode leaves me with a bursting vein in the center of my forehead. It makes me want to take a brick and smash it through my screen. Hyperboles aside, I sincerely believe everyone who worked on the show knew just how much of a two-faced bitch Dodie is, so they decided to amp up her conniving, snake-like nature to unfathomable levels just to piss me off. Oh, yeah, it's <i>personal.</i> And you know what? Everything I just said is based off of my memory of this episode. When I do these reviews, I write as I watch, so I'm experiencing everything in real time. So once I get up to the infuriating bits, know that it's how I'm reacting right then and there (I feel like this should have been established from day one, but better late than never).<br />
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Ginger is finally well enough to return to school--though I think an extra day or two of recovery wouldn't have hurt. I really love this continuity. She meets up with Macie and they discuss briefly her health since the surgery. Not only is Ginger still raspy and weak, but the dark circles around her eyes are still there, even during the tail end of her recovery. I love seeing this kind of progress; I can't think of any other show that has this level of detail in its continuity.<br />
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So, Dodie shows up in a goofy gopher mascot suit. That's odd, considering the Lucky mascot is a goat. Whatever. Anyway, Dodie disregards the fact that her very sick best friend has just returned to school, and overshadows her with the news that she is now "the pep squad's pep squad." I keep waiting for Dodie to calm herself to ask Ginger how she's doing (obviously she's not 100%, but it's common courtesy). Nope. At this point, nobody should even bat an eyelash. Not even Ginger.<br />
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Hey, remember Buddy Baker, the real estate agent from two episodes ago? He's back, and is getting real cozy with Carl. Apparently, Carl is so interested in the real estate business that he's decided to seek out advice from Buddy and join his business for the day. There are two things I've noticed about this scene: 1) Buddy is voiced by the same guy who voices the pixies in <i>The Fairly OddParents </i>and 2) Look at Doctor Dave in the background trying to park in the Foutleys' driveway, but Buddy has it blocked with his car.<br />
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Naturally, Hoodsey isn't impressed by Buddy's big talk. I have to say, I agree with him for once--there's something off about this guy. I honestly don't remember what this guy's motivation is, but I for one think he should move his car to let Doctor Dave through. (On second thought, he can stall a bit longer; Doctor Dave looks really cute when he's angry. Don't judge me.)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Naturally, Hoods has to be eating something between his and Carl's exchanges. </td></tr>
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Carl is so committed to his new, boring hobby that he doesn't even want to go with Doctor Dave to the hospital to "Bring Your Son to Work" Day. I wish Carl would realize that he doesn't have to be the child version of Joann to be an adult. I miss his crazy antics.<br />
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Ginger walks into Evil New Zorski's class nine seconds late (yes, she actually counted) and chews Ginger out for it. Ginger explains that she just had a useless organ removed from her adolescent body and is struggling to walk, so you'd think Evil New Zorski would give her a break. Ha! She basically says she doesn't give a shit about Ginger's appendix being removed. At this point, Ginger should just walk out, cough on Evil New Zorski, and request a different English teacher. Nobody should put up with that level of cruelty. Honestly, someone should stick up for Ginger because she is <i>not </i>going to do it herself. Only because this crotchety old bag needs to learn some compassion.<br />
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But seriously, what kind of life did Evil New Zorski grow up in that life apparently wouldn't care about post-surgery weakness in people? Maybe things that are out of human control, like torrential downpours and icy sidewalks. Was she not loved enough by her family? Did they favor her cousin more? Is that part of the reason why she's like this? I smell a fan fiction!<br />
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Ginger's lack of support continues into lunch, where Miranda (hey everybody, the witch is back!) indirectly tells Ginger to stop trying to make everyone feel sorry for her. She then tells about how she got her tonsils out twice and she didn't make a fuss out of it. She gets shot down when Dodie matter-of-factly says that can't happen, but Miranda deflects that with a shoddy excuse that they grew back. Jeez, it seems like everyone has it out for Ginger, doesn't it? Perhaps, alternatively, this could be an interpretation for how we view mental health. Yes, Ginger's pain is real, but we cannot physically see it (like we can't see mental heath issues), much like how everyone cannot see how much pain Ginger is in after stomach surgery, so they're less sympathetic and less able to understand just how much pain she is in. Man, that's an abstract way of seeing it.<br />
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And just when things couldn't get any worse:<br />
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Nah, not really. It's surprisingly less awkward than you'd think. Probably because Simone manages to stay genuinely nonchalant the entire time. However, when Darren and his new arm candy walk away, Ginger shows her true colors about how pissed she is that Simone stole her man. And Dodie, instead of being a decent human being, inquires about Ginger coming to her first mascot cheering that night. This would have been the perfect opportunity for Ginger to slam Dodie's lunch tray into her chest, but instead, she kowtows to Dodie's unbelievable influential pull and agrees to go. Wow, you can practically feel the anger seeping from her pores.<br />
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Carl continues to bore Hoodsey about his new real estate hobby. He even tries to get the students to take his card during a massive food fight, but they're just as uninterested. My God, if this isn't the most boring B-plot I've ever seen... I mean, I love <i>House Hunters </i>and all those other HGTV shows as much as the next girl, but for a cartoon about a teen, her problems, and her conniving little brother, this is seriously dull, and I'm <i>this </i>close to skipping this whole skit over and just focusing on Ginger.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Where is the lunch dean in all this chaos?</td></tr>
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Carl invites Hoodsey to come see him and Buddy in action trying to sell houses, but Hoodsey refuses, and says he's going to go with Doctor Dave to the "Take Your Son to Work" Day thing. Can he even do that? And when did Doctor Dave invite Hoodsey? Whatever. My point is, this new "grown up" Carl was already done in past episodes; why is he doing it again? Is Carl trying to prove something? I know he said he was going to change once he got to junior high, but he's changing from one extreme to the other. This isn't just boring to watch--Carl might actually need some therapy. I don't mean break out the $100/hr shrink therapy. I mean light "therapy"--Lois and Doctor Dave need to sit down and have a talk with him. Because this is just sad to watch.<br />
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After hearing about Hoodsey's plans to spend time with Doctor Dave, Carl actually looks like he just realized he gave up time with the father he desperately wanted in his life. If that's not sad, I don't know what is.<br />
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That afternoon before the game, Ginger continues talking shit about Simone, and then Dodie goes up to do her baby cheers. Everyone laughs at her like the pathetic loser she is. And then, the gods of Nickelodeon do me a solid by having the cheerleaders lose their balance and fall right on top of Dodie.<br />
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<br />
Boo-yah! Smash her into the ground! Make her swallow dirt! Or is the dirt those tiny black rubber particles all these fake turf fields have? Make her eat those, too!<br />
<br />
After the commercial break, we learn that the accident was much more fatal than we thought, and so, Dodie has died.<br />
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Oh, how I hate that this was merely a set-up for what really happened to Dodie. She didn't die. The cheerleaders set up a candlelight vigil in honor of Dodie making it <i style="font-weight: bold;">OFFICIALLY ON THE CHEER SQUAD </i>since her "injury" renders her unable to be the mascot. What the fuck?! Oh, gods of Nickelodeon--what have you done?! Why have I angered you?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">THIS SCENE DOES NOT DESERVE TO EXIST.</td></tr>
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Okay, let's all take a deep breath and try to sort this out like the adults we are.<br />
<br />
*Deep breath*<br />
<br />
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! If Dodie isn't dead, why is there a wreath and candles under her picture? Was that put there just to make everyone think she died underneath the crushing pressure of a bunch of popular girls? And I thought freshmen weren't allowed on the squad! And why is Dodie in a wheelchair if she's supposedly fine? She has neither a cast nor pain! Somebody better tell me why Dodie is getting so much undeserved attention or else blood will be spilled.<br />
<br />
At lunch, Dodie has all her dreams come true when the cheerleaders surround her like bodyguards. Ginger and Macie, for some reason, still want Dodie to eat lunch with them, so Ginger goes over to them, determined to pull Dodie out of her I-can't-believe-this-is-happening fantasy. Unfortunately for Ginger, she gets the runaround from the cheerleaders, and seeing as she's not going to break through to them at all, she gives up and sulks back to the loser table.<br />
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<br />
Doctor Dave shows Hoodsey an X-Ray of a Siamese twin growing inside someone's body. Freaky!<br />
<br />
Buddy tries to get Carl to appreciate the art of "repackaging the truth" by showing a pair of potential homebuyers a dilapidated shack. Carl realizes very quickly that Buddy is a shit realtor only interested in making tons of money.<br />
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<br />
Ginger and Macie go over to Dodie's house to give her a get well soon basket (hopefully one filled with chocolates and giant Japanese hornets), but as the cliche goes, they catch her jumping around her living room, realizing that her injury was fake. Wait, I thought it was already established that she was "absolutely fine," according to Coach Candace! It was just Dodie in a wheelchair--no cast, no pain--were we supposed to believe that she broke both her legs or something? Because it sure didn't look like it. I thought the squad was going to trick the school into thinking she was hurt or something, but, ahhhh, this episode, man. This episode is crap! Pure Grade-A crap!<br />
<br />
So, Dodie is caught, and what do you know? She continues to fake it, melodramatically wincing in reluctance and reaching out to Ginger and Macie in agony. If you listen closely, there's a violin playing in the background. I sincerely hope that's there for sarcastic purposes.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pathetic little monkey.</td></tr>
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Who does she think she's kidding? Then again, how goddamn stupid are Ginger and Macie to believe that Dodie was actually hurt when there was no evidence of an injury? Did any paramedics come to the field? We don't know, because the scene cut right as Ginger called out to that poor excuse for a child. Certainly if Dodie was that hurt, she'd be in a cast--two since she's in a wheelchair. And what's the point of making her part of the squad if she "can't" move, anyway? Ugh, did Klasky-Csupo fire their storyboard editor?<br />
<br />
So, the tl;dr version of this: Dodie cheated her way onto the squad.<br />
<br />
Macie is fooled, but Ginger isn't, and threatens to spill the truth to the pep squad if Dodie doesn't. Dodie spits back that no one will believe Ginger since "pep squad girls always stick together," so it's her word against Ginger's. Meanwhile, Macie continues to be Switzerland instead of thinking for herself and choosing a side. You know, this "lower the tension with an irrelevant object and nervous laughter" skit isn't funny anymore. It's fucking annoying. STOP.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZeKcndcq5fRoSPaX_DWPPJM2mhAD2lrdkIYkMsWXFAuakR4-J3yvyb2lduJaStM8nxIX95jrTwwCxrxt0Ajz9iAaTQ3MWEvM6KZHt5vuNX5vjQ-g-ROzy_6luXDfGBgoTd-VkMjB2Hu4/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZeKcndcq5fRoSPaX_DWPPJM2mhAD2lrdkIYkMsWXFAuakR4-J3yvyb2lduJaStM8nxIX95jrTwwCxrxt0Ajz9iAaTQ3MWEvM6KZHt5vuNX5vjQ-g-ROzy_6luXDfGBgoTd-VkMjB2Hu4/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Honestly, these three need to just split up for good. Forget Ginger and Macie vs. Dodie. Break them all off from each other.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Ginger and Macie watch Dodie from afar while trying to figure out a plan to blow Dodie's cover. Meanwhile, Dodie makes ugly moaning sounds and struggles to lift her arms to wave her pom-poms in the air, because apparently, having two "injured" legs renders you weak from the legs up. Hmm, they never taught that in anatomy class.<br />
<br />
Ginger and Macie try to get Dodie to stand in the parking lot, but of course, some cheer squad members come by in their car, Dodie accuses her so-called friends of "taunting" her, and she's wheeled away like a princess. And yet Ginger and Macie say <i>nothing. </i>They just stand there and take Dodie's bold-faced, italicized lies. SAY SOMETHING! I don't care if the cheerleaders won't believe you--at least you would put the possibility of Dodie cheating them out of a perfectly good uniform in their heads. Why are you two silent?! What are you so afraid of?!?!<br />
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Honestly, what is it going to take for Ginger to cut ties with Dodie?! What?! I bet if Dodie came to the Foutley house, shot Lois, Carl, and Doctor Dave to death with a .45 caliber rifle, set all of Ginger's journals on fire, and pissed on the blackened ashes, Ginger would still smile and forgive Dodie after she falls to her knees, letting out a blubbering "I so saw-wee!"<br />
<br />
Really, though. Ginger is supposed to be portrayed as a smart girl. Why is she so stupid letting Dodie hang around her like a fly to a dead horse? If anything, Dodie is the smartest out of the group for being able to manipulate and twist these girls' arms around for this long. And for that, I hate her more.<br />
<br />
Macie does a shit job at disguising her voice when calling Dodie to Coach Candace's office over the intercom. How did the principal even allow her to do that, anyway? As Dodie zooms down the halls--excited because she probably thinks Coach is going to give her a special day in honor of her acceptance into the squad, Ginger and Macie slam the bathroom door in her face. MWAHAHAHA! Sorry there's no screencap or GIF to perfectly capture this moment. There's no way to see her actually getting smacked in the face with it.<br />
<br />
Ginger and Macie yank Dodie out of her chair, and then Dodie starts to cry. She asks them why it's such a crime to want to be on the squad. Ginger says if she just practiced and waited another year like she was supposed to, she might have made it on for real--might have, mind you. And then Dodie starts crying that practice and diligence got her nowhere, so the best course of action was to lie her way up there. FUCK. YOU. BISHOP.<br />
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This is such a slap in the face to anyone who's ever worked hard to achieve their goals. Every musician, every artist, every dancer--how do you think I'm working towards being a professional writer? By practicing. Writing these posts every week for over a year. Working on my novels and trying to contact every literary agency in NYC for an internship. I'm slowly, but hopefully getting there, and that's because I'm working at it the proper way. It would be like someone who's only been writing for six months, who barely has down the basic rules of grammar and storytelling, landing a three-book deal with a literary agency and landing on various bestseller lists--all because she cheated her way there. I'd be furious if I found out that happened.<br />
<br />
The message here is forced, but only because it needs to be in Dodie's case. Ginger encourages Dodie to fess up, and in doing so, Dodie is kicked off the squad for good. Not only her, but any and all of her future kids, too. Righteous! Coach Candace, you are truly awesome!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's right, cry. CRY!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Carl is fired for scaring away that couple from that mess of a house. I really wanted to see how he did that. Instead, he is replaced by Buddy's nephew, Filbert, who then runs to the old tire swing in the house's backyard. Oh, wait until his parents hear Filbert's uncle Buddy let him play in an old house that's falling apart. Why do I get the feeling that these people are related to Buzz the plumber?<br />
<br />
Okay, here's where my blood starts to boil once again--the cheer squad rightfully ignores Dodie as she attempts to apologize, and Ginger and Macie, who are watching from afar, start to think making Dodie admit she was faking her injury was the wrong thing to do. So now Ginger's going to go to Coach Candace's office to try to get Dodie back on the squad. What the hell kind of logical black hole did I enter here?!<br />
<br />
And then Ginger tries to convince Coach Candace to let her back on, but she's not budging because it wouldn't be fair to the other girls who tried and failed to get on. And eventually, we learn that Coach was exactly like Dodie when she was a kid--wanting to be a pep squad member <i>too much. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<i><br /></i>
So, basically, Coach says that no one should want something too much (be obsessed with it), which is why she's not letting Dodie try out for the team, but Ginger reminds her that the reason she didn't let Dodie try out was because she faked her broken legs, not because she was obsessed with pep. In other words, she told Dodie one thing and Ginger another--caught in her own web of lies. If anything, I think Coach Candace is trying to give any and all reasons to exclude Dodie from the team. Although normally people should not do that, it's totally justified here. But it doesn't matter. With enough lawyer talk, Ginger manages to convince Coach to let Dodie tryout for the squad. <br />
<br />
My god, Ginger! What. A. Fucking. Hypocrite! Here's the rundown of this catastrophe of a plot:<br />
<br />
"Dodie," Ginger says, "You have to work hard to make it onto the squad. You can't cheat your way in."<br />
"But I want it soooooo bad!" says Dodie.<br />
"Well too bad," says Ginger.<br />
"Hi, squad! I'm sorry," says Dodie.<br />
"Screw off, liar," says the squad.<br />
"I feel sorry for Dodie," says Ginger. "Coach, let her back on. She wants it soooooo much!"<br />
"No," says Coach.<br />
"You lied too, you know," says Ginger.<br />
"I guess I did," says Coach.<br />
<br />
Such a travesty that this pile of shit follows such a beautifully written episode with depth, originality, and realistic drama. From Carl wrestling with his beliefs of God and his fears of Jonas and Lois falling back in love to Ginger feeling sorry for Dodie after she cheated her way onto pep and got penalized for it. I'm so tempted just to abandon this episode right here because this is just an unacceptable excuse for children's entertainment. But I know that would upset you guys, so I'm going to bite the pillow and keep on marching like the trooper I am.<br />
<br />
Carl and Hoodsey decide to work together at the hospital with Doctor Dave, because Carl is the only one who seems to realize he made a mistake and actually admits he was wrong. Unlike some blonde bimbo we know...<br />
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Dodie hears that Coach Candace is letting her tryout, and she runs and squeezes Ginger in thanks. Yeah, she actually forgot about Ginger's appendix.. or rather lack of one. She ends up pulling a muscle while doing her stupid flips, but Coach allows her back on the squad anyway--as the mascot again--and promises to let her tryout the next year. NOOO! Coach! Why? WHY?!<br />
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What the hell? What the blood-soaked, fire-fueled hell?!<br />
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I can't, you guys. I can't. What kinds of moral is this supposed to teach kids? That it's okay to be obsessed with something to the point where you snake your way to the top, but because you want it so much, you're automatically excused from being penalized for breaking policy?! I guess the CEO of Enron would be happy to hear that what he did was A-OK (look up the documentary--it's crazy!). And now I can picture hundreds of little girls faking an injury just to land a spot on their coveted squad. Not that it would work in real life, but I know they'll try it. Gods of Nickelodeon, I shall avenge you.<br />
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The episode ends with Orion grabbing a seat next to Ginger as she watches her ex-boyfriend tear ass on the field with the guys he used to mock.<br />
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So, I guess Ginger and Orion are coming up on the cusp of dating. Whatever--I honestly don't care who this girl associates with anymore. I'm sick of her keeping dead weight on a sinking airplane.<br />
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But seriously, this episode should have never existed. There were some shitty episodes of this show, but this one, without a doubt, takes the cake as the absolute worst of them all. I'm just so glad that we're 3 episodes away from the finale so I won't have to put up with this garbage friendship anymore.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>it's totally okay to fake an injury as an attempt to make it onto your dream squad because even if you get caught, wanting it badly enough will excuse you and your potential children from being banned from it; Carl needs to stop being intrigued by everyone in a nice suit; FUCK. DODIE. BISHOP. And you know what--fuck Ginger and Macie too for having the gall to remain friends with her--I'm done. See you all next week.<br />
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<br /></div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-8804679735341136122015-08-09T21:18:00.002-04:002022-10-22T11:08:56.261-04:00Season 3, Episode 54: "A Lesson in Tightropes"Sorry for the late posting, everyone. I totally lost track of time this week. Not to mention, I thought today was Saturday. Whoops!<br />
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All right, here we go: I introduce to you the most dramatic, tear-jerking episode in the entire series. As stated in "Kiss Today Goodbye," this episode follows the events of Dodie convincing Darren to come clean with Ginger about his budding relationship with Simone.<br />
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I've been waiting to review this episode since beginning this blog because it's my absolute favorite episode of the series. One of the reasons is that there is a very good B-plot with Carl that really explores Ginger's issue from his perspective, going to surprisingly mature depths far beyond his typical farce.<br />
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And, although I will admit this episode is more melodramatic than it needs to be, keep in mind this show is from the point of view of Ginger--<i>a teenage girl</i>. Don't lie--we were (are) all a little over-dramatic at that age.<br />
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The episode starts out on a dark, eerie tone with matching background music. Ginger's voiceover is heard as she's slowly walking down an empty hallway, and she says something very important: "Have you ever been struck by the feeling that something is... wrong? Nothing in particular, mind you, nothing you can quite put your finger on. Just an overwhelming sense that something in your universe has, well, shifted..." And part of that shift in Ginger's universe just so happens to cross paths with her, totally unaware that both their lives are about to change in the next 22 minutes. Again, melodrama.<br />
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We then cut to the boys' bathroom, where Darren is slumped against a toilet stall crumpling a letter to Ginger he wrote, crying. This is it, you guys. Here it comes.<br />
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The scene then cuts back to Ginger, who's at home finishing up the last of her latest song. We finally get to see her band in its entirety--a bunch of dudes we never get introduced to, and Orion. Ginger shoves the lyrics into Orion's chest and forces everyone to practice the song, despite their rumbling stomachs. Song first, then food.<br />
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So, the band performs the first verse of the song, and I have to say, it's down-right impressive for a bunch of high schoolers. Not that I don't think young teens can be talented, but these guys have some serious chops. The genre is best described as bluesy-alternative, using the same instruments as the music for the opening of each episode of the series. Ginger's voice when she sings is also much stronger and more raw, as you can tell she's really putting her energy into the song, which is, you guessed it--"Splinter in My Heart," a more complete version of the acoustic version she played last episode.<br />
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Right before they start the second verse, Darren shows up--hands shoved in his pockets, head low to the ground. "We need to talk," is what he says.<br />
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So, they take a walk down the street, away from the band, where Darren tries to get the words out. Ginger's being all grabby and snuggling up to Darren, interrupting him so she can tell him that they need to work harder on their relationship now that they have their extracurriculars going on. Darren realizes he can't beat around the bush, so he blurts out that their relationship is over.<br />
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I have a feeling Ginger knew Darren was going to say that, because she doesn't look too surprised. She definitely took a punch from those words, and struggles to maintain her composure as Darren explains that he's hard for Simone now, and lately, he and Ginger have been growing apart (that's true, though). What really hurts Ginger--and I want to knock Darren on his ass for saying this--is that he says Simone is "easier" to deal with at the moment. Translation: Simone is paying more attention to Darren and actually cares about his football games.<br />
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Okay, pause. Guys, girls, everyone--if you're going to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, never <i>ever </i>use another person as a reason to justify your break-up. That's a really shitty thing to do that, even if true, will make your now-ex feel inadequate. Unless the person you're breaking up with is truly an awful person who cheated on you, beat you, or manipulated you in any way, telling your boyfriend/girlfriend you've found someone you like better is just a disgusting thing to do that'll surely tear whatever relationship you have left after the break-up, and possibly scar them for a very long time. (I don't speak from experience, but as a writer, I have to imagine how it would feel.)<br />
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Darren tries to stop Ginger from totally breaking down by saying all these wonderful things about her--that she's opinionated, headstrong, (those two words mean the same thing) and wonderful, and all these things make you question why Darren is doing this in the first place if he feels this way about Ginger. Alas, he wants Simone. He apologizes and hopes Ginger can forgive him for this. Luckily, Ginger tells him to fuck off in a subtle way before running back home.<br />
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The scene cuts to the Bishops' house, where Hoodsey is reading a scene from a trashy romance novel to Carl, shuddering in puberty-stricken bliss at the line, "'Oh, Clifford,' Beth murmured in his ear."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCK7mwl8i7_-DKhPt-1MkjASoxhQhaAUxF4pDCkc-pjU49G3i6AFSnXYNFsPt9p33f1hMrVlQ-1ltWOrlxYInMp9iUlw0CFwhhxb3sCqIyHaDJwSJhiAMBZno4w6FPrd8FO2I5HeKE4AM/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCK7mwl8i7_-DKhPt-1MkjASoxhQhaAUxF4pDCkc-pjU49G3i6AFSnXYNFsPt9p33f1hMrVlQ-1ltWOrlxYInMp9iUlw0CFwhhxb3sCqIyHaDJwSJhiAMBZno4w6FPrd8FO2I5HeKE4AM/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is that a real bear skin rug?</td></tr>
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Carl really doesn't give a shit about Beth or Clifford, and starts making astute observations about clichéd flowery descriptions romance writers often use in their writing, and I can't help but to laugh. I believe I mentioned in a previous post that I think romance novels are poison for the mind, partly because they're fantasy porn targeted to women. Ever crack open one of those short, fat romance novels in the grocery store? Chances are, you'll come across some really erotic lines that are so unrealistic it makes you wonder if the author ever even had sex. Don't even get me started on the gag-worthy purple prose in these scenes. I sincerely just hope the women who read these aren't the same women who complain that their husbands/boyfriends watch too much porn.<br />
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Oh, and I love Carl's reference to <i>Clifford the Big Red Dog</i>. I loved that show as a kid. And now thanks to that little slice of nostalgia, I just spent the rest of today looking up <i>Clifford </i>and other childhood favorites. Somehow, this led me to watching the <i>Madeline: Lost in Paris </i>movie that I haven't seen in at least 12 years, making me forget I was supposed to be focusing on<i> this</i>. Man, when nostalgia hits me, it knocks me out cold. <br />
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Anyway, Darren comes over and heads up to Dodie's room, walking in on her having a fake conversation with a fake boy about how sickeningly gorgeous she is through a pony plush. Of course Dodie would be doing that--no guy in their right mind would even think about complimenting her, let alone talk to her.<br />
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Not that I care about Dodie's dignity, but shouldn't Darren have knocked first? What if Dodie was naked in there? *Shudder* I believe Darren had this problem popping in through Ginger's window all the time early on in the show. The boy needs to learn how to knock.<br />
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Anyway, he tells Dodie he broke up with Ginger, and starts to cry. This scene almost makes me feel a little bit sorry for him because he's obviously distraught over breaking up with his best friend, but Dodie (naturally) has to ruin the moment by reciting advice from some trashy teen magazine that outlines the stages of post-break-up. Put a cork in it, Bishop. No one wants your advice you stole from a teeny bopper magazine. Despite Dodie's distracting mouth, Darren still laments over how Ginger must be feeling. Okay, as much as I've come to dislike Darren over the past season, I have to give him credit for at least considering Ginger's emotions in this time of emotional trauma.<br />
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Back at the Foutleys' house, Ginger cries herself to sleep while Dodie and Macie attempt to console her. Dodie picks up a shattered photo frame of a preteen Ginger and Darren on Ginger's desk--Ginger must have taken a hammer to it once she got home or something. Brutal. Ginger feels so terrible, she says it feels like her insides exploded. That sounds incredibly painful. Again, Dodie tries to spout her magazine gobbledygook, but Macie nudges her angrily as a way to shut her the hell up already. Seeing as they have no experience in this department, they figure leaving Ginger alone to mourn the loss of her first boyfriend is the best thing they can do, since they don't know what to do to make her feel better. So, they turn off the lights and leave. I'd say it's better than Dodie attempting to "help."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfxbs9G1wGEdK1x5dbPnMrcOthRrAu_Q_6309k8jMINlv6I4ub3pT5dmqn_pWpJM-m_XNDEE4-mU7bGN0iRT0YXwn0BiE8eR_YgNZUnYkfSwl0Yqxg67JD53EBOGAQxrbwhVTbtAYRsE/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfxbs9G1wGEdK1x5dbPnMrcOthRrAu_Q_6309k8jMINlv6I4ub3pT5dmqn_pWpJM-m_XNDEE4-mU7bGN0iRT0YXwn0BiE8eR_YgNZUnYkfSwl0Yqxg67JD53EBOGAQxrbwhVTbtAYRsE/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I know this is the wrong time to mention this, but check out that hyper-realistic Pegasus poster! </td></tr>
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Later that night, Lois comes into Ginger's room after hearing about her break-up from Dodie and Macie and tries to get her to talk about it. Instantly, she realizes something isn't right with Ginger--she's not moving or making any sounds, like she's unconscious. Lois also notices she's running a fever, which causes her to panic. She calls Doctor Dave into the room "stat," which I think is a nice touch to the dialogue as it shows Lois's work as a nurse seeping into her home life. I guess she's so used to yelling for doctors to come in "stat" whenever a patient is in critical condition that she sort-of treats Ginger as a patient. These writers think of everything.<br />
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Doctor Dave takes a quick look at Ginger and instantly makes the decision to call 9-1-1. Well, that was an awfully fast diagnosis. Better safe than sorry, I suppose.<br />
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The scene fades to white back to the Bishops, where Joann is attempting to cook a turkey for dinner. And by attempting, I mean she has no idea what she's doing. Hasn't she done this every Thanksgiving? Hoodsey tries to keep it on the down-low that he and Carl are reading her romance novels (oh my God--those are <i>Joann</i>'s books? Joann reads softcore porn? Aaahh! What a sick mental image I got just now!) This scene delivers a hard kick of sexual innuendos, mainly because Hoodsey tells Carl they can't let Joann know they've been sneaking a peek at her books otherwise--and then Joann cuts in, uncomfortably reading from a cookbook the most overtly sexual way to stuff a turkey. Is there any chance Hoodsey and Dodie are adopted?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"...Scrape the cavity clean and stuff mixture into the gaping hole. Stuff with pimento and allow to stew in own juices." - Joann</td></tr>
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Great mother of Manitoba--for someone as haughty as Joann, she seems to be the one spouting the most risqué dialogue the censors will allow on this show. Yeah, don't think I forgot about her calling Carl a "budding exhibitionist" last season. <br />
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Seeing that Carl is witnessing Joann treating her cookbook like one of her moist nightstand reads, Joann indirectly tells him to get his ass home. Carl picks up the phone to call Lois, only to be stopped by the sound of ambulance sirens and flashing lights outside, heading right for Ginger.<br />
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Ginger is rushed down the hospital hallways to the operating room while Doctor Dave makes a solid diagnosis--ruptured appendix. Ginger had apparently woken up between the last scene and now, because Doctor Dave tells her that she's in the best possible care--his (way to toot your own horn, Doc) and he is determined to not let her die. I sure hope he wouldn't let her die--that's his fiancée's daughter. If she dies in his hands, well, I'm not sure if there even would be a wedding. You know, I'd actually like to see a (fake) version of this episode where Ginger dies right as Doctor Dave wheels her into the O.R., just so I can see how everyone reacts. Yeah, that's really mean of me to say, but I did say a fake version!<br />
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Lois stands outside the operating room while Doctor Dave preps for surgery. Wait a minute--why can't Lois be in there, too? She works there; she's a nurse. Not to mention, that's her <i>daughter</i> in there. Maybe she doesn't want to see Ginger in so much agony, but would rather watch from afar. Still, it's strange. It's never discussed why she's outside like she has no authority to be in there.<br />
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Also, there's this weird time transition that doesn't make much sense--it's in a series of four still-frames. Lois, alone. Lois with a group of people. Lois with the same group of people plus more further down the hallway. Lois alone again. Visually, it doesn't make sense. I think I know what the animators are trying to do here, but it could have worked much better. If I directed this episode, I'd have people walking up and down the hallway in fast-forward while Lois watches through the window indefinitely, so it'll seem like a significant amount of time has passed.<br />
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As soon as the anesthesiologist slaps on Ginger's oxygen mask, the screen goes black, and we hear the beeping of the machines. Doctor Dave becomes deeply concerned about an abscess that had formed around the rupture of Ginger's burst organ. Suddenly, Ginger starts hemorrhaging (bleeding profusely), which means she is within a hairline to death. Really. <br />
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This next sequence--I'm not sure if it's part of Ginger's dream or if it's supposed to be filler to keep the drama at an all-time high. Whatever it is, it's certainly melodramatic, yet it's also kind of nice. We hear Ginger's voiceover singing yet another verse of "Splinter in My Heart," yet this version is much more shaky and soft.<br />
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The scene cuts to Lois in the waiting room desperately awaiting the news that Ginger survived the operation. Ginger's voiceover continues to sing over the flashbacks of Ginger growing up with Lois.<br />
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I'm just wondering where Jonas is in all these flashbacks. He left shortly after Carl's birth, and Carl was obviously born <i>after </i>Ginger, so what gives? Well, these are <i>Lois's </i>flashbacks. I suppose since Jonas left so abruptly, he was never really part of Ginger's life in the first place, therefore he doesn't deserve to be part of Lois's flashbacks. Now that's deep.<br />
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We then zoom in on Ginger--and her flashbacks cut around to a lot of seemingly nonsensical shots. We get her writing with Orion, her writing on the couch, childhood photos on the mantle of the entire Foutley clan, and then we see someone in the hospital prayer room desperate for "The Big Guy Upstairs" to make sure his loved one is okay.<br />
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We even get a cameo from the character in Ginger's poem from "And She Was Gone." Neat!<br />
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This next shot is possibly the most talked about one from the entire episode. It appears to be an adult/older teen Ginger in a laundromat looking at her reflection in a washing machine and seeing her preteen self staring back at her.<br />
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"What could this mean?" you may ask. After taking many courses in literature interpretation, semiotics, and the like to prepare me for the rare real-life usage of this skill, I've come to find that your guess is as good as mine as long as you've watched the show up until this point. This scene could mean many things, and only the writers truly know what they intended to portray in these ten seconds. My interpretation? Considering Ginger put out a wanted ad for herself--an opinionated, headstrong, and wonderful Ginger Foutley (just like Darren said when he broke up with her) and circled it with a yellow highlighter, she's looking "into" her past self to find that version who is all those things. Again, this may or may not be what the writers intended with this scene, but it's my best guess. I never said I was<i> good</i> at literature interpretation. What do you guys think?<br />
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Here's something you may not have thought about--if you listen closely to the lyrics to the song, after the first verse, they start to not make much sense:<br />
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<b>"There's a road that's left to travel </b><br />
<b>There's bridges left to burn </b><br />
<b>There's songs I haven't written</b><br />
<b>Lessons left to learn.</b><br />
<b>There's reasons still to fight</b><br />
<b>There's you to kiss goodnight </b><br />
<b>So hold on, hold on tight." </b><br />
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It sounds like lyrics someone would scribble in their notebook during class--and considering the song is about Darren, I expected the song to be deeper and have more of a connection to their failing relationship. Instead, this reads like generic nonsense. I am sorely disappointed the writers didn't put more effort into this. The song was supposed to be a crucial part of the episode, and yet it falls apart after the decent first verse. Whatever. At least the music is nice.<br />
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Anyway, the surgery is finally over. Doctor Dave tells Lois that the infection from her appendix is still working its way through her body, so she's going to be weak, and then Jonas shows up! What a genuine surprise!<br />
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Doctor Dave leaves the room to allow Lois to explain the situation to her ex-husband, and then Ginger wakes up. I really like the level of detail the animators put into sick Ginger. The dark circles around her eyes, her lack of energy, her raspy voice--the detail in this scene is amazing and really adds to the plot. It almost makes up for the disappointing lyrics. Almost. They all get acquainted and hug her head (since everything else is in pain currently), meanwhile Doctor Dave watches from the window, kind of jealous. Then, some old lady pokes her nose where it doesn't belong by interrogating Doctor Dave as to why if he's her future stepfather, why he isn't in there hugging Ginger. Uh, leave, please. I think the bingo hall is downstairs, you nosy old bag.<br />
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Carl comes running down the hallway calling out for Doctor Dave. He's absolutely terrified that Ginger just had emergency surgery, and is so thankful that Ginger is alive. Doctor Dave tells Carl he can see Ginger if he wants, but because Jonas is in there, and doesn't want anything to do with the so-called "father" who abandoned him after he was born, he decides to stay outside with Doctor Dave.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYjdKArgAEHrH0m_opVlPsRR9zweVsj0Fhg1Wf2XhH12lcAtrqw-2tJuZIfjmAXuQCuqqSIBW_AQ7PRICOuMq0ohy9PiH8Pr1fasfS35tep2kVcolphnItbw1zpn-2X_PDVN-Vx7dtl54/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYjdKArgAEHrH0m_opVlPsRR9zweVsj0Fhg1Wf2XhH12lcAtrqw-2tJuZIfjmAXuQCuqqSIBW_AQ7PRICOuMq0ohy9PiH8Pr1fasfS35tep2kVcolphnItbw1zpn-2X_PDVN-Vx7dtl54/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can tell Carl looks up to Doctor Dave as his true father.</td></tr>
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Meanwhile, in the hospital gift shop, Darren and Simone shop for the perfect get well soon gift for Ginger. Why would Simone agree to go shopping for her boyfriend's recently-dumped ex-girlfriend? I figure she's doing it because she feels sorry for her, but wouldn't she feel kind of weird? Darren is totally on-edge, as he feels like it's his fault Ginger is in the hospital. This leads to him yelling at Simone out of frustration, who figures it's better for Darren to do this alone. Darren apologizes, and to calm him down, Simone tells him that this is not Darren's fault, that it's just an "ugly, unfortunate coincidence." She's absolutely right, and it works. You know, as much as Simone is destined to be season 3's antagonist, she's actually incredibly sweet. It's nice to know that the writers don't rely on stereotypes to keep this show going. Unfortunately, they decided to hide this originality from my country's Nickelodeon.<br />
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Darren pulls a card for Ginger out of his pocket and tosses it in the garbage. Then, they leave. So, what, they're not even going to visit Ginger? I get Darren is probably the last person Ginger wants to see right now and vice-versa (out of complete discomfort), but you two came all the way to the hospital. The least you can do is pop by to see how she's doing. Then you can leave and go make out behind the bleachers or something.<br />
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Hoodsey depresses Ginger with an excerpt from <i>50 Shades of Grey </i>and then Dodie and Macie pop in with presents and a goofy get well song.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyWBm06Wp6T1b0OEPCVIFIAk-cKtObeofrqg3yx-585UcRIGPAhJmQNZdVl8Wavd-4PN4XlFCkMxf6dIU2RuWtk6ZPNlYyGky2CPZhd8_OwQ_ICJYfOS-dJIaNOfdnvhtkmlcq-2FaNyo/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyWBm06Wp6T1b0OEPCVIFIAk-cKtObeofrqg3yx-585UcRIGPAhJmQNZdVl8Wavd-4PN4XlFCkMxf6dIU2RuWtk6ZPNlYyGky2CPZhd8_OwQ_ICJYfOS-dJIaNOfdnvhtkmlcq-2FaNyo/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">*Harmonica* "Oh, here's your get well song... it isn't very long." - Dodie and Macie</td></tr>
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So, they talk about the surgery for a while, including a bit about the new scar Ginger has, to which Doctor Dave had said was low enough so that she could wear a bikini. I sincerely hope it was Ginger who asked about that, otherwise that's an unsettling conversation. Dodie and Macie also mention that Ms. Zorski (the nice one) wants to come visit Ginger. That's sweet! But hey, what about Courtney? Why isn't she visiting Ginger? Or Laetitia? Or any of Ginger's other friends? It would have been funny to see Chet pop in:<br />
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"Hey, um, Paprika. No, sorry, wrong spice. Ginger! Hey...Ginger. So...uh...can I see the scar?" <br />
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And then the subject of Darren comes up, so Ginger hounds her friends about his whereabouts in her time of suffering. Dodie and Macie are clearly hiding the fact that he chose not to come. And that makes her feel like shit all over again.<br />
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A very important scene follows with Doctor Dave and Jonas interacting. Jonas comes up the elevator with a bouquet of sunflowers--Ginger's favorite (oh, but he can't remember Carl's allergies to peanuts?). Doctor Dave wants to establish a good rapport with Jonas, hoping that their relationships with Lois and the kids don't cause any tension between them. Doctor Dave is trying so hard not to offend Jonas with how much he loves his soon-to-be family, but Jonas is clearly defeated, as he realizes and accepts the fact that he's slowly losing the family he abandoned twelve years ago. Perhaps there's some regret, there. He doesn't want to admit that Doctor Dave is a better father to Carl and Ginger, but he does admit Doctor Dave is a better <i>man</i>, which is basically the same thing considering Jonas says he could have never saved Ginger's life, unlike Doctor Dave. Not that I want to rain on your self-pity parade Jonas, but you're not a surgeon. Of course you wouldn't have been able to save Ginger's life. I know that's besides the point, but it's something that really sticks out to me.<br />
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I'm guessing Doctor Dave is still kind of sore watching his fiancee and her ex-husband interact in the same room like friends, so perhaps this is also a test to see if Jonas and Lois have any romantic chemistry remaining.<br />
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We see Carl exiting the hospital's prayer room. Lois catches him and comments on how she thought he was an atheist. Carl apparently needed a moment of hope to get him through this. And here it is--my second favorite moment of the episode. I believe I mentioned how talk of religion/atheism is never even touched with a ten-foot pole on Nickelodeon. Except in cases of spirituality like in <i>Avatar: The Last Airbender, </i>it's amazing to see Carl kind of defeated. Or desperate for one last bit of hope to make sure Ginger is okay.<br />
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Now, this doesn't necessarily mean Carl actually believes in "The Big Guy Upstairs." While this may be true, in retrospect, most people would probably do something similar in times of crisis. A quick prayer. Fingers crossed. An empty promise for their loved one's safe operation. I've heard of old people on their death bed, those who are straight-up atheists mind you, praying to God in hopes that they end up somewhere peaceful after they're long gone.<br />
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Carl notices that Lois is holding a cup of coffee, and discovers it's for Jonas--the "man of the hour"--or someone held to high regards by a group. Carl unsurprisingly gets pissed off by this, and vents to Hoodsey in the lounge (or is it the waiting room?) about how Jonas doesn't deserve to hold that title. I must say, I agree and disagree with Carl.<br />
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Don't get me wrong; it's great that Jonas freed up time in his "busy" schedule to visit Ginger in the hospital (that's not what Carl is pissed about). Carl is now concerned that Doctor Dave isn't getting the honor that he deserves, considering he was the one who saved Ginger's life. I understand Carl has a very negative view of Jonas, so much that he calls him by his first name, but I think he should look at this situation through Lois's eyes. I'm sure Lois is grateful Doctor Dave saved her life. But the fact that Jonas came to visit Ginger instead of making up excuses to why he couldn't be there must have meant so much to Lois. Moreso, it probably meant so much to Lois because she knew it would have meant so much to Ginger to see Jonas there, caring. Being a father. <i>Making some kind of effort. </i><br />
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It's not hard to see that Carl is worried that Jonas being there might rekindle his and Lois's love, screwing up Lois and Doctor Dave's impending marriage. Carl gets pissed because Hoodsey is more concerned about his snack getting stuck in the vending machine, so he basically tells him to fuck off and leaves the lounge. Way to be a dick, Hoodsey.<br />
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That night, as Lois sets up Ginger's room for her return, we learn that she was terrified the night she sent Ginger into the hospital, as she keeps picturing what could have happened if she wasn't there. Doctor Dave is with her, and, kind of like the interaction between Simone and Darren, he brings her back to reality. Lois <i>was </i>there, she was lucky she was there, and even if she was at work when Ginger was dying, Lois can count on the fact that she would have been saving someone's life, whether a patient, or Ginger. So she shouldn't have any guilt on her whatsoever.<br />
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Doctor Dave then takes this opportunity to question Lois's feelings towards Jonas since he came back into their lives. Carl overhears this conversation and listens in long enough to hear that while having Jonas around was nice, he's not the man for her. Doctor Dave is, and then they kiss. And then Carl is able to breathe a whole breath again.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOO4x2fxqWN-i5Nu9BAmrS3WPWsZspj6OdShEcotGeymHVzVfbLMT4jZLPFoxelEPB8vKqxPXidqBsluy5pIMfgxs20WrI4WUPPEpIgfBAjfPK_Mc6bYdy0rCJSCAjtc0jhbIcoX213qI/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOO4x2fxqWN-i5Nu9BAmrS3WPWsZspj6OdShEcotGeymHVzVfbLMT4jZLPFoxelEPB8vKqxPXidqBsluy5pIMfgxs20WrI4WUPPEpIgfBAjfPK_Mc6bYdy0rCJSCAjtc0jhbIcoX213qI/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is better than anything Carl can find in a romance novel.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
A nurse comes by to collect garbage all over the hospital. We see Darren's card to Ginger being thrown into the main bin--so this card is going to bear more significance soon.<br />
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Orion comes to visit Ginger and admits he's sporting a major boner for her by reciting some really sentimental poem about his heart exploding into a thousand pieces, and each piece was floating over Ginger's hospital room like wings until Orion heard she was going to be okay. Ginger is blown away by Orion's sappiness, and I guess this means they're going to become a couple.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHXG-adgSTqOZ_K7kEiHzqyG2KVaVU_S2wTcVoCkAHHOkmnkLplAMVYkE6JgcMGBgVnIXpL6Rf0M1NXiiv-IlpZM5Iil35tt0Pi4623Hq-VyIWw5amoey0OOxOazw1z54mw-GfxPrCoUE/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHXG-adgSTqOZ_K7kEiHzqyG2KVaVU_S2wTcVoCkAHHOkmnkLplAMVYkE6JgcMGBgVnIXpL6Rf0M1NXiiv-IlpZM5Iil35tt0Pi4623Hq-VyIWw5amoey0OOxOazw1z54mw-GfxPrCoUE/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"That dude just totally made her murmur." - Hoodsey</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Ms. Zorski comes by to visit Ginger, and that's when Ginger breaks down and finally lets her hurt feelings out about Darren breaking up with her for Simone. She's devastated that Darren hasn't even made an ounce of effort to show that he's a decent human being, until the nurse with the garbage comes by, and Ginger notices a card for her in there. I feel like this scene is an obvious ex machina, because there's no other way to end the episode. Considering a nurse would hand Ginger--a patient whose immune system is currently down--a card out of the bacteria-ridden garbage is unethical at the very least. She could possibly lose her job if someone caught her. So, we finally get to hear what Darren had written for Ginger in the card:<br />
<br />
Dear Ginger:<br />
I feel so helpless right now.<br />
More than anything I want to<br />
be there for you--but I don't<br />
know how. In spite of everything<br />
that happened between us, I just<br />
want you to know that<br />
<br />
And the card ends there. Ginger wonders why Darren didn't finish the card, only for the unethical nurse to respond with some degree of wisdom, "But he did finish it. It just doesn't have an ending."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm9parGOzW-gQBIYxqmbHqTBgOi1oLLdxoQiXGxVEi54sNeR3d5t67VRbERLa32CsGpJJ7F9XkQiKem3zqF1tufjdMO74Si07ksmKCU2MtTOwDLvUdKgIqxWtdbbwxcCe5LGbUrh59Bt8/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm9parGOzW-gQBIYxqmbHqTBgOi1oLLdxoQiXGxVEi54sNeR3d5t67VRbERLa32CsGpJJ7F9XkQiKem3zqF1tufjdMO74Si07ksmKCU2MtTOwDLvUdKgIqxWtdbbwxcCe5LGbUrh59Bt8/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'll let you come to your own conclusion as to what that could possibly mean.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
And that's the episode. It ends on a cliffhanger, but I'll tell you right now that we don't find out what Darren was going to end the card with. Stay tuned to the final part of this unofficial four-part episode next Sunday night. And this time, I'll be sure to keep on track and not struggle to finish this the last few hours.<br />
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<br />
<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>Whatever happens after your break-up is not your fault; sometimes it's acceptable to find hope in unconventional places in times of desperation; just because your significant other broke up with you doesn't mean they don't care about you anymore</div><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-59217816197543237482015-08-02T17:11:00.002-04:002022-10-22T11:10:09.625-04:00Season 3, Episode 53: "Kiss Today Goodbye"The following episode is narrated by Dodie, and is the sequel to "Detention" as well as the prequel to "A Lesson in Tightropes" and "Dodie's Big Break." This, and the next two episodes, I must warn, are heavier than usual in drama. Not to mention, they have a different "feel" than previous episodes.<br />
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Also, keep in mind that this review will be a little longer than previous reviews, as there is so much to say.<br />
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A significant amount of time has passed between "Detention" and this episode. Dodie is up in the bleachers alone after classes have ended. In her voiceover, she narrates a letter she's writing, regarding it as "the most difficult letter [she] ever had to write." What she's writing about really isn't "difficult" as much as "uncomfortable," but it's Dodie, so bear with me.<br />
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Dodie flashes us back to one of Darren's football games, noting how she, Macie, and Ginger were there. She and Macie were cheering on the team, while Ginger wasn't paying much attention to Darren or the game at all, and was instead doodling out of boredom.<br />
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Macie had to nudge Ginger's arm to get her attention, because Darren was trying to catch her eyes. Unfortunately, his face falls when he notices Ginger's apathy. Ginger eventually looks up and waves at Darren, but it's half-assed considering Ginger should have been paying attention all this time. Keep in mind here that Dodie says that she believes this was "a turning point in their many years" of friendship. If you haven't guessed by now, this letter is for Darren.<br />
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Cut to the locker room, where Dodie is skipping around like a two-year-old engorged with Red Dye #40, and trips and falls over Ginger's lap. Serves you right.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What's with that dorky get-up, Dodie?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /><div>
Apparently, Dodie was practicing figure skating because all the pep squad girls are doing it for their cheers. Let me ask you something, Dodie: if all the pep squad girls were in a pool and pulled several cats in with them, endured several hundred scratches, and then the girls got out and leaped into another pool filled with concentrated lemon juice, would you do it, too? After all, it's supposed to help with pain tolerance!<br />
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Ginger mentions that she's not even on the pep squad yet, but Dodie is so damn certain she will be called. <i>Riiight. </i>Keep dreaming, Bishop. Oh, and it's mentioned that Ginger is now in a rock band. Say what? Yeah, she and Orion are in a band now. Oh, and Macie is thinking of breaking up with Andrew. Seriously? You know, there should have been at least one more episode in between "Detention" and this one just to introduce us to these new pivotal moments. To have this new information thrown in your face is jarring. I like to be eased into these things. Plus, I would have loved to see a scene with Macie on her first date. Squee!<br />
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Dodie goes into Coach Candace's office and begs her to be an alternate for the squad. Coach doesn't back down for Bishop, and sticks to her "no-freshmen-on-the-squad" rule. It's kind of ageist, I know, but she probably does it for a good reason. Like to weed out desperate chicks like Dodie who will only bring the squad down.<br />
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Coach Candace really doesn't want to be bothered during her incredibly short lunch hour, but because Dodie managed to push her way into her office despite all the locks and alligator-filled moats, she learns that Coach Candace doesn't have a lot of time on her hands, and is struggling to stay on her low-carb diet. Ever notice in some cartoons how the skinniest of sticks will be like, "Oh, I need to lose some weight!" Anyway, Dodie would jump into a pool of lemon juice with gashes all over her body a thousand times just to be able to sniff those pom-poms, so she agrees to make Coach Candace's lunches for her. Are students even allowed to do that?<br />
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This brown-noser even managed to snag a list of Coach Candace's food aversions from Stuart Higsby (?!). Ginger, after hearing about all this, is basically like, "You are a sick, twisted kiss-up and should be ashamed of yourself. Doing all this just to go "yay!" at a stupid football game!" Naturally, Dodie responds with a snip about not letting Darren hear Ginger calling him "stupid." Way to twist Ginger's words around. Considering Darren knows how much Ginger hates football, I doubt he'd even give a shit.<br />
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Dodie asks Lois if she could borrow her food scale, so Lois ends up having to go through her entire kitchen for just that one appliance. Thus, she concludes the Foutleys-soon-to-be-Daves need a bigger house.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Or maybe just fewer impulse buys." - Macie</td></tr>
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Surprisingly, Ginger and Carl are perfectly okay with moving up, probably because they're sick of living in the same ugly house for so many years. I would have expected at least some nostalgic memories keeping the kids reluctant to move, but nope. It's just, yeah, okay, let's do it. And so, Lois decides to go house hunting. Carl decides to join her, as real estate is "tricky." Not that I don't think Carl would be of any help in choosing a new house, but shouldn't Doctor Dave go with Lois? Or why not all four of them since they'll all be living in it?<br />
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Back in Coach Candace's office, Dodie does an amazing job cooking lunch for her crabby coach, and even becomes her own personal secretary. Is there a stronger idiom I can use? Because brown-noser no longer fits here.<br />
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During cheerleading practice, Dodie and Coach Candace watch as the girls perform cheers. Look at this girl--Dodie is treating this woman like she's her slave--holding a sun umbrella over her head, holding a quenching soda for her... how pathetic, even for Dodie's standards. Simone doesn't hold back for shit about her crush on Darren when she instructs the squad to perform a cheer in his name. One of the girls "sprains" her ankle (I put it in quotations because how do you get a sprain by just standing there and waving your arms?) Coach tells Dodie to go get some ice, so Dodie makes an olympic run back to the school for some. She even leaves behind a trail of dust from running so fast! And<i> </i>just when I think Dodie can't get any more pathetic!<br />
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All the girls are super impressed with Dodie's groveling, which is useless considering Dodie wants to be able to see how impressed they are.<br />
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Orion flirts with Ginger in the halls trying to sneak a peek at her new song, but Ginger isn't spoiling the surprise. She sees Dodie making a scene running down the halls with a first aid kit and asks for Darren's whereabouts, but Dodie rolls her eyes and tells her he'll be at the football field in half an hour. Ginger was hoping Darren could walk her home, but Orion offers to take Ginger instead on his scooter by saying, "I'll ride you." Whoa there, hormonal hurricane. Back that boner up off of her. I believe the term you're looking for is "I'll give you a ride."<br />
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Dodie gets back to the field to find that the girl with the sprained ankle is fine, and no medical attention is needed. So, Coach Candace made Dodie run all the way into the school and back for nothing? Just to exploit her desperation? I think I like this coach! So, cheer practice is now over, and the football team is ready to go. As soon as Simone sees Darren, she runs up to him and starts flirting with him, only for Darren to pose and flex in return. This causes Dodie to drop a bunch of waterbottles for dramatic effect.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm not sure what else is going on between Darren and Simone besides Simone flirting and Darren flexing, but it looks to me like something <i>is </i>going on between them.</td></tr>
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So, according to Dodie, Darren is cheating on Ginger with Simone. From what we know of their interactions, this might be possible, but it's not completely clear whether Darren and Simone have gone further than this scene or not (Have they kissed? Had phone sex? Skyped until 3 in the morning showing each other their own personal "moves?"), so I personally don't know for sure if this is infidelity or Darren being friendly. But this could be teetering on the infidelity side, kind of like how Ginger and Orion interact. Then again, Orion hasn't openly admitted his crush on Ginger. You know what? Let's move on.<br />
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The scene then cuts back to the beginning of the episode where Dodie is writing her letter to Darren. She says she probably should have just minded her own business (but she never, ever does, so I don't know why she'd even mention it) but it's because they've been friends for so long that she kept quiet. Oh? Then where's your excuse every time you blabbed one of Ginger's secrets?! She calls Macie that night asking for advice (she leaves Darren's name out of it), and Macie suspects that Dodie is talking about her boyfriend, Andrew, who Macie now suspects "has his <i>eye </i>on another." Why does Macie keep making quips about Andrew's bad eye? Yeah, that first joke she made back in junior high: "His one good eye is all over me," was kind of funny, but now every chance Macie gets, she makes fun of this poor guy's eye <i>every time he comes up in conversation</i>. I feel so bad for this kid. I wonder if this is the reason why she's breaking up with him.<br />
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Ginger calls Dodie and asks if she told Darren she got a "ride" home with Orion. Why don't you call Darren and tell him, Ginger? Anyway, Dodie struggles to tell Ginger about the little flirty interaction Darren had with Simone, which turns into Dodie complaining that Ginger isn't in love with pep as much as she is. Ugh, can this conversation end already?<br />
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The next day, Coach Candace makes Dodie wash all the girls' cheer uniforms. Ha! Laundry duty! Dodie is officially their slave.<br />
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When Dodie goes down to the basement, she crashes into Darren, who's talking to Simone. Darren introduces Simone to Dodie, who kind of know each other already, obviously. Simone says since Dodie is one of Darren's best friends, she hopes she'll be one of her best friends, too. Aww, that's sweet. Too bad Simone doesn't know the Dodie beyond the friendly desperation. Simone notices Dodie got stuck with laundry duty and shows her where the washing machine is, which comes off as a surprise to Dodie who had no idea there even was one. Yes--Dodie is stupid enough to wash all these girls' uniforms by hand. You'd think, considering she didn't know about the washer in the school basement, she'd toss them in the washing machine at home and bring the back the next day. As Red Forman would say, "Dumbass."<br />
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Simone says goodbye to Darren as she walks Dodie to the washing machine, and Darren makes googly eyes at Simone. Uh oh.<br />
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Lois takes Carl--dressed in a snazzy blazer--to see the first house on their list. A literal dump covered in ravens that's been falling apart for who knows how long. Lois is delusional--why she'd even consider touring here is beyond me, and it doesn't look like she has plans to fix it up. She boasts about how it was once owned by a Russian mystique as well as a descendant of Grigori Rasputin.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, come on. This is too goofy for this kind of show.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Carl is scared away by the unsanitary, and frankly creepy, conditions of the house, so he ushers Lois away and to the next house on the list. Wow, I don't know what's stranger--the house or Carl's disgust for it.<br />
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Ginger comes over to Dodie's house to try to "understand her love for pep," and after a few cheers, Ginger is mildly impressed. Hoodsey is, too, who's standing outside Dodie's door clapping. Ha.<br />
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Dodie is totally elated at this point, because for once, the popular girls actually don't mind being around her. Not because they actually like her, but because if they asked Dodie to stick her tongue in an electrical socket, she'd do it... twice. Dodie gives all her thanks to Simone to getting her into the world of "popularity," even though all Simone did was treat her like a human being. Nothing special, really.<br />
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Simone mentions that she's totally wet for Darren, which sends Dodie into a state of panic. Even more, Simone asks Dodie to tell her everything about Darren so she can be prepared to ask him out. Oh, good! This is the perfect opportunity for Dodie to tell Simone that Darren already has arm candy, albeit the unsupportive, sugar-free kind. It would be wonderful if Dodie could just say those four simple words that would make Simone back off and end this episode with Carl and Lois continuing their house hunt. Wouldn't it be great if the world worked that way? Unfortunately, it doesn't. Dodie runs off instead with a heart attack, "forgetting" that she had to "feed her ferret."<br />
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In Dodie's voiceover, Dodie mentions that she could have just spilled the whole thing right then and there and told Darren what was going on, but she held back because Simone is her golden ticket to her "pep career." Do I even need to comment on how absolutely fucking selfish that is?! Dodie is more concerned about losing her non-existent opportunity to say "Yay!" at football games than the tearing in her so-called best friends' relationship? You know, maybe I need to go to Dodie's house to understand her love of pep. Because I really cannot--I honestly want to know why popularity is so Goddamn important to this girl and why she needs so much attention and validation in the first place.<br />
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The next day, Ginger sees Darren outside school after what feels like forever. And then the scene cuts to this:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm considering starting a "Best Out-of-Context" photo gallery at the conclusion of this blog in addition to the "Ugly Dodie Faces" collection.</td></tr>
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So, Macie uses this opportunity to break up with Andrew. I hope she at least looks him in the good eye.<br />
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So, the Gods of Nickelodeon allowed Dodie one more chance to tell Simone that Darren is dating Ginger. Simone even encourages her to spill her big secret about Darren, otherwise she'll never teach her another cheer again (she says this in a friendly manner, by the way), but chicken-shit Dodie lies and says that Darren has a pet ferret, too, and runs away. Because it's <i>so </i>hard to tell someone that their crush is taken. Don't you just want to shake Dodie by the neck until it pops off and we can extract those words from her brain and shove them through her teeth and out of her giant, purple mouth?<br />
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For those of you who are both confused as to why Dodie refuses to tell Simone the truth and want to punt her in the face with a rusty chainsaw, Dodie's afraid that she'll "anger" Simone if she told her that Darren has a girlfriend, fearful that it'll hurt her chances of getting on the squad. This kind of thinking bypasses all logic, but I don't want to dwell on that too long because there is no such thing as logic when it comes to Dodie. Only Dodie can have an emotional breakdown over this--I sincerely wish she could run straight into the school psychiatrist's office instead of to her locker.<br />
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Hopefully, if Simone does decide to ask Darren out, he would say he's dating Ginger. Now, <i>that </i>would be a reason for Simone to get mad--getting all pumped up to ask out the man of her dreams, only to realize Dodie kept vital information about his dating status from her.<br />
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Ginger comes up to Dodie and confesses that something strange is going on with Darren, and thus, Dodie explodes into melodramatic goo and runs home.<br />
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The second house Lois and Carl tour is a castle, complete with mossy walls and a complementary old man fast asleep in one of the bed chambers who has his meals delivered through a tiny window twenty feet high. Where the hell is Lois finding these houses?! Not anywhere near White Anglo-Saxon Protestant nuclear Sheltered Shrubs neighborhoods, I know that!<br />
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Carl stomps out, demanding that the Foutleys need a home, not a "house of horrors," so, Lois takes him to a modern glass house to look at. Carl is much more impressed with this. After touring the house for a bit, he asks Lois if she was seriously considering those previous homes, to which Lois admits no. She figured Carl would get bored looking at real houses, so she took him to the weird "houses" for fun. Carl, in a rare moment of sincere maturity, tells Lois that, although he loved the weird houses, he wouldn't have been bored looking at actual contenders, and was actually looking forward to finding a real home for the four of them. You know, as his last duty as the "man of the house" before Doctor Dave steps in. Lois is so touched, because all she wanted to do was spend more time with Carl, and now she knows they can do it for real. I love you, Carl. You're such a sweetheart. The only time a child should make his mother cry is when he brings her remarkable joy.<br />
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Ginger sits outside playing the first verse of her new song. "Splinter in my Heart," I believe. It's pretty obvious by the lyrics that the song is about Darren. Now I know why she didn't want Orion to see it. Dodie approaches her and listens for a bit. And honestly, the zooming in and out makes this scene much more dramatic than it needs to be.<br />
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Right as Dodie is about to chicken out on revealing the news to Ginger, Simone approaches them and tells Dodie that Coach Candace wants her to introduce the cheer squad at tonight's game. It's not an acceptance into the squad, as Simone reassures, but it's a start. Dodie creams her panties in excitement and cartwheels away. So, what about that thing you had to tell Ginger, Dodie? "Forgot" because you were "so excited?" Congratulations on getting what you want instead of trying to fix the problem you practically caused. Bitch.<br />
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During that night's game, the announcer (before Dodie) reads some light announcements, including a break-up letter from Macie to Andrew. Holy hell, talk about embarrassing! Surprisingly, Andrew doesn't seem to mind. Whatever. Anyway, Chet is seen in the background handing Darren a letter (the one from Dodie) and Darren reads it while Dodie gets her own personal spotlight for twenty seconds.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It would have been funny if the crowd started booing her and throwing hot dogs.</td></tr>
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At the very end, Dodie's voiceover comes over, which is actually a line in the letter to Darren: "So in the end, I just couldn't be responsible for that splinter in her heart." And she encourages Darren to come clean with Ginger about Simone. Meanwhile, I believe Ginger already speculates the connection between Darren and Simone.<br />
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While I do agree that it's not Dodie's responsibility to tell Ginger about Simone, Dodie could have done <i>something</i>, considering she knew what was going on. I already explained my disgust with her soggy noodle of a backbone for being too scared to say something so inconceivably simple. And I'm also disgusted with Darren for flirting with Simone behind Ginger's back. It's like he didn't even want to make time for Ginger anymore. So, really, I blame both Darren <i>and </i>Dodie for this. Both could have said something. Both should have said something. Both stayed silent in fear of hurting themselves. And now, people, you understand why I hate Darren.<br />
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I wonder how Lucky High did that night considering their star player suddenly felt the wave of guilt on his already heavy shoulders.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>Speak up when your friend is being stabbed in the heart; Carl should be everyone's role model; apparently, being popular is more important than being honest (Dodie would make a great politician, then).<br />
<br /></div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-54481498231178763222015-07-26T16:00:00.001-04:002022-10-22T11:11:58.301-04:00Season 3, Episode 52: "Detention"It's always the good ones who end up in detention, isn't it? This episode directly follows the last scene of "Stuff'll Kill Ya" where Ginger fell asleep during a test in Evil New Zorski's class, the reason she got detention in the first place.<br />
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The episode starts out hyper-dramatized as staff and students run basic administration errands to a military-like beat in the background. <i>Oookay?</i><br />
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During math class, Ginger finds it more interesting to replay a conversation she had with Darren in her head about him officially joining the football team. Ginger is obviously upset by this, as she feels like she's losing Darren more and more to the temptations of popularity, pride, and glory. Me? I think they're just growing apart. And Ginger's probably worried Darren turning into another Ian Richton.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I miss the old, dorky Darren, too.</td></tr>
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Darren had pressured Ginger to come to his football games because that would prove to Darren she cared about him. That seems like an ultimatum to me--"If you care about me, you'll come to my football games, which I know you hate." If this show was on the same age rating as <i>Degrassi </i>or <i>Dawson's Creek </i>or the like, the situation would replace "football" with "sex." And that's a red flag right there. I mean, I don't see why Ginger wouldn't want to support Darren. I get that she thinks football is stupid, but she's not the one playing--Darren is. But the fact that Darren is pressuring her to come is just a warning flag as red as Ginger's hair.<br />
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Ginger has apparently been reading <i>Football for Dummies </i>in an attempt to get into the forsaken sport, but the way she talks about it to Dodie makes it obvious Ginger wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a football and pork rinds.<br />
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Remember the kid from the first screenshot? He delivers a message to Ginger's geriatric math teacher from the assistant principal's office--Ginger's got all-day detention, yo! Isn't that basically ISS?<br />
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Now Ginger's freaking out about this over-the-top punishment for something quite minor, and I'm genuinely surprised why Ginger isn't trying to fight this. A short after-class reprimand would be more appropriate for falling asleep in class, especially considering Ginger's caffeine addiction story. Man, Evil New Zorski doesn't fuck around. Worst of all, Ginger's going to have to miss Darren's football game the next day--and cannot find the words to send a touchdown to his heart.<br />
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Adding salt to the slug, Darren slaps down front-row seat tickets for Ginger, Dodie, and Macie, and boasts how he had to do a lot of ass-kissing to get those tickets, preempting Ginger with his excitement for the game. This is another trope/cliche that annoys me to no end that could easily be fixed if A) Ginger interrupts Darren and tells him she has all-day detention or B) If Ginger crawls out of that I-don't-wanna-cwush-Dawwen's-feewings mentality for once in her damn life. Actually, a third option could work here too. And it's an option I suggested earlier--Ginger could fight this detention with both Evil New Zorski and the principal so she could get an alternative punishment that doesn't involve her staying in school on the weekend. Despite the fact that Ginger never wanted to go watch Darren throw a ball around in the first place is irrelevant--she was going to go and be miserable to spare his feelings anyway. <br />
<br />
Blake agrees to help finance Carl and Hoodsey's tea--another money-making scam Carl has up his sleeve from the shirt he never changes. Seriously--why don't Carl, Hoodsey, and Blake ever change their clothes? Almost everyone else on the show does.<br />
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<br />
In exchange for financing the tea, Blake wants to give the tea a ridiculous name (Sir Blake Gripling's Special Reserve). Why not name it Piping Pompous Prep, if you're going to make it all about you?<br />
<br />
Carl agrees to the terms Blake established, even though he knows fully-well that they have a mutual distrust of each other. Why they choose to be each other's business partners I'll never know. Because the Griplings have money so far up their large intestines, the value goes straight to their brains, blocking out their judgment! I suppose that's a good enough reason as any. So, Carl must sign like twenty pages of the contract to enact the deal, meanwhile, Hoodsey tries to make Carl rethink his decision. Carl knows what he's walking into, but isn't backing down. That Gripling influence is strong, man. <i>Strong.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
So, where is this amazing tea coming from, anyway? The Foutleys' backyard.<br />
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<br />
Ginger enlists Dodie and Macie to help Ginger figure out what to do next, since now Darren is <i>expecting </i>Ginger to be at the game. Well, Ginger, if you would have taken my suggestions instead of your dopey friends', you wouldn't be freaking out. Dodie suggests that she could go to the game as Ginger, which is laughable until she announces that she could totally pull it off because <i>she has a fucking Ginger wig in her room the she pretends to be Ginger in.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<span><!--more--></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaSvQQLZ-OxTy1WlMxNIjLF-QdAqFnDXVFozoFrcdBuQHtSS6LdY2Hoklkggj9eRYBVByWsmMaNsrXqXO3zQJ8W1vlPV9PaTQyTSun2xfySDB2KiNgMlnp0kxWkQarAhj8vRizQDfpvuA/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaSvQQLZ-OxTy1WlMxNIjLF-QdAqFnDXVFozoFrcdBuQHtSS6LdY2Hoklkggj9eRYBVByWsmMaNsrXqXO3zQJ8W1vlPV9PaTQyTSun2xfySDB2KiNgMlnp0kxWkQarAhj8vRizQDfpvuA/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span><!--more--></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3BFuHF3RLxOJfC-QuyptxpVSYGOqkhcUozNGge_6HutJwrQvIxa9l3ApNwKHCXCKymgmQxjEXyXwWiJB8HDyHvIexIXJc2QwrLhne1S1sFEjwb0lrsz4WYru5MczMY6FcQ5jw24S9Osw/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3BFuHF3RLxOJfC-QuyptxpVSYGOqkhcUozNGge_6HutJwrQvIxa9l3ApNwKHCXCKymgmQxjEXyXwWiJB8HDyHvIexIXJc2QwrLhne1S1sFEjwb0lrsz4WYru5MczMY6FcQ5jw24S9Osw/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<i><br /></i>Holy-- Dodie, I was kidding about you sneaking into Courtney and Ginger's rooms and collecting samples of their hair for your shrine. Oh, God, I didn't think you would <i>actually </i>do it. I feel sick now. Do I have to continue this review? I no longer feel safe.<br />
<br />
The next morning, Lois drops Ginger off at school with a sack lunch and a nonchalant goodbye. Surprisingly, Lois isn't upset about Ginger getting detention, as it was just a mistake. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the quintessential mother of the cartoon world. No lectures about responsibility, no grounding for a week, no "when-I-was-your-age" spiel. Because, yes, it was a mistake that Ginger fell asleep in class. I really hate it how on TV, parents are so quick to dole out grounding for every little mistake their kid makes.<br />
<br />
Busted Aunt Marigold's old lamp? <i>You're grounded.</i><br />
Got an F on a difficult exam? <i>You're grounded.</i><br />
Ran an expensive war-era tank into a building causing $700,000 worth of property damage? <i>You're grounded... for two weeks. </i><br />
<br />
So, Lois is totally okay with Ginger getting detention, as long as it doesn't become a regular habit. Ginger walks into the detention room where all the delinquents are held, feebly clutching her bagged lunch to her stomach. The teacher overseeing the students vaguely reminds me of George-what's-his-face from the <i>"Sibling Revile-ry" </i>episode. Ugh, I really don't want to have to relive that episode.<br />
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<br />
So, the teacher goes over the no-fun rules and then leaves to go masturbate for the next six hours. But seriously, he brings a roll of toilet paper with him out of the room--and I highly doubt he's going to the bathroom. As soon as he shuts the door, all the students turn to stare at Ginger. Uh. hello?<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhShPnYyc4PeyyvmsmE_Sjf6LLLAsA5SL4Pa29BRTu0rnAjar4So3SFjw1oXHWVGY2dkFEbqPk90iQJbpHfHQoNNp5XJDGwgj4aBVVHajF8kX5OjCIdqQP1TmJF0FnfPcEwKrlFUTanez4/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhShPnYyc4PeyyvmsmE_Sjf6LLLAsA5SL4Pa29BRTu0rnAjar4So3SFjw1oXHWVGY2dkFEbqPk90iQJbpHfHQoNNp5XJDGwgj4aBVVHajF8kX5OjCIdqQP1TmJF0FnfPcEwKrlFUTanez4/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You know, punk kids aren't the only ones who get detention.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Carl sells his tea to the magic shop clerk, who looks even more ratty and disgusting since the last time we saw him selling the boys vanishing powder. With those food stains and scraggly hair, he looks like the kind of guy who's supposed to stay 100 yards from public playgrounds by law.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj00qOkuI7Su5bSVXAj9Q3uhPMy8FfqqR9dpHrQYS2Yt5XNMLo16g__IlK6aO1s6b9axvZQaoegmFJ1Gnj6tkI0L84AEJNyvp73w7wxjbo43nfVx9-22Z3oxSR3HhG6pxBUZsnB1sA7B1E/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj00qOkuI7Su5bSVXAj9Q3uhPMy8FfqqR9dpHrQYS2Yt5XNMLo16g__IlK6aO1s6b9axvZQaoegmFJ1Gnj6tkI0L84AEJNyvp73w7wxjbo43nfVx9-22Z3oxSR3HhG6pxBUZsnB1sA7B1E/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He actually looks like a 40-year-old Carl, too.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
So, the shop owner (Louie) decides to purchase a few boxes of tea.<br />
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Ginger and her detention mates are bored as ever. The guy sitting across from Ginger gives her a coy glance.<br />
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Meanwhile, the football game is prepping out on the field. We know this because Ginger periodically looks out the window every few minutes and can see and hear all the grunts and hoots. Hey, that could have been a way for Ginger to watch Darren play, and stay in detention simultaneously: she could have just watched the game from out the window.<br />
<br />
You know, I feel bad for Darren here--Ginger's hatred for football is letting her become apathetic towards Darren. So what if you don't like football, Ginger? Support your man when he plays. I'm not a big hockey fan myself (though I find it fun to watch), but I went to Islander games with my boyfriend when they played home games. I also went to his hockey games when he played freshman and sophomore years of college. I traveled with his team by bus all over New York and New Jersey for his away games just to support him. Granted, he was just the backup and never actually got to play, but I still sat in the bleachers and supported him and our school. He quit junior year after realizing the coach wasn't going to put him in any games, and I still supported his decision. That's what's missing in Darren and Ginger's relationship: support.<br />
<br />
Also, Ginger, keep in mind that Darren supported your decision to drag him around the county fair two episodes ago for hours. Yes, he got tired of it, but at least he made an effort. You just flat-out don't want to watch football. But hey, sports are much more fun to watch live than through a TV screen. At least in my opinion.<br />
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So, Dodie dresses up in Ginger's grunge clothes, right down to Darren's jacket. How did Dodie acquire Darren's jacket anyw--you know what? I don't even want to know. I just still cannot believe Dodie actually went through with this. This is wrong. So wrong and insulting not only to Darren's feelings, but to Darren and Ginger's relationship. Dodie wearing a wig pretending to be Ginger is <i>supposed </i>to be funny, but I cannot see the humor in this at all. I'm trying to picture someone actually doing this in real life, and I just get an uncomfortable feeling just thinking about it.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxkg5ot9MeW8KOqfm8a9nMQIjva4lP8ioV6J7-hR6rYVp6dNVeKqn38fjUyeWSzbrwTNwMCjlr9c5_VP79HNUevQBVSa-s9ow8Tr6GTgl84ifzDP-1qZ5S1kgkWrj1PGghAcnhS59MggU/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxkg5ot9MeW8KOqfm8a9nMQIjva4lP8ioV6J7-hR6rYVp6dNVeKqn38fjUyeWSzbrwTNwMCjlr9c5_VP79HNUevQBVSa-s9ow8Tr6GTgl84ifzDP-1qZ5S1kgkWrj1PGghAcnhS59MggU/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Does Chet have dreadlocks?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Dodie apparently isn't a very good Ginger because Chet Zipper immediately recognizes "Ginger" is actually Dodie in a wig. Yes, even Chet can see past Dodie's "disguise." And yet they expect to fool Darren with that disguise? Why can't Dodie and Macie tell Darren that Ginger has detention? Nobody else but Dodie has those giant purple lips--surely he'll figure out what's going on. You know, I just had another thought: if she's supposed to be Ginger, where is "Dodie" supposed to be? I suppose they could put Chet in a blonde wig...<br />
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Carl offers Milty a free sample of his tea, who reluctantly accepts it.<br />
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<br />
Blake calls Carl and Hoodsey into the Griplingmobile to announce that he's taking over the company. Why? Because Carl and Hoodsey refused to tell Blake where they found the plant they were getting all their tea from. And then Carl and Hoodsey are like, "The fuck you talking about?" And so Winston rolls down the separator window to read off the section of the contract Carl signs that allows Blake to do that. Winston really should be concentrating on his driving rather than kowtowing to Carl and Blake's little kid business before he gets into an accident and kills everybody. I don't care that he graduated from Harvard Law--it's no excuse. And if he did, what's he doing chauffeuring a rich family around for a living?<br />
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And thus, the contract is now null and void, and Blake takes over the company. Say, Blake, if you don't know what tea leaves are used, how are you going to keep that business running? Have the gears in your brain come to a grinding halt?<br />
<br />
One of the girls steals Ginger's journal when she was writing a personal song about Darren, and decides to read it to the whole class. The teacher comes back right as everyone's up at the front of the room listening to the girl violate Ginger's privacy and singles Ginger out for being out of her seat--meanwhile everyone else--who is clearly standing right next to Ginger--is ignored. Seriously, what is with this guy? And why does he have a vendetta against Ginger when she did <i>nothing </i>to him? The adults on this show, man, I can't stand most of them.<br />
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<br />
The teacher shoos everyone else back to their seats, but keeps a close eye on Ginger specifically. When Milty went around and told all the junior high teachers about how much of a terrible human being Carl is, did the news get to this loser, who assumed that Ginger was equally as bad because they're siblings? Otherwise, I don't know why he has it out for her.<br />
<br />
The teacher leaves again, and then the guy who smiled at Ginger before starts making small talk with her. He's a drummer. She writes songs. I smell a band forming. Oh, and this wasn't announced yet, but his name is Orion.<br />
<br />
And so, the game officially begins.<br />
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<span><!--more--></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp93plvYDS8htyyWWRgkcPuUuLqtSJ6PsfARbL9lB6xnZnUYaLHNQc3oVFvzf5MdQktIDW7-MO2hY5L_lhmb9Ruts5ITEs_DAkd4d6txCbJXQob4R6U8WrOyoeOILN96v6eH2rgrEphcY/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp93plvYDS8htyyWWRgkcPuUuLqtSJ6PsfARbL9lB6xnZnUYaLHNQc3oVFvzf5MdQktIDW7-MO2hY5L_lhmb9Ruts5ITEs_DAkd4d6txCbJXQob4R6U8WrOyoeOILN96v6eH2rgrEphcY/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Darren shreds grass on the field, tearing it up like no one's business. Lucky High gets the first down, <i>annnd </i>then this exchange happens:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNUvrlrd4ULI-RRz4IbNMLrw_Ln-5DGkYVPbwUUZeWVZH6Ol21AlBbL4eMmUhs5K0TXOZ1jtvONLlKD-UKqKBTAg6K0o-5KWSgEXxahTp9YtKOHZwI-Xj-_iveyuua1Uf2sYnVAwZ6vns/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNUvrlrd4ULI-RRz4IbNMLrw_Ln-5DGkYVPbwUUZeWVZH6Ol21AlBbL4eMmUhs5K0TXOZ1jtvONLlKD-UKqKBTAg6K0o-5KWSgEXxahTp9YtKOHZwI-Xj-_iveyuua1Uf2sYnVAwZ6vns/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hey, I thought the trio got front row seats! They're in the <i>second </i>row.</td></tr>
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Hey, does anyone notice who's in the bleachers? Hope is there, on the bottom right. Ian is sitting next to her. And there's some old guy a few rows above them looking bored. I thought this was a student game--meaning only students can attend. Ah, well.<br />
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Okay, so this is Simone in the screencap, one of the cheerleaders for the pep squad Dodie is desperately trying to squeeze into. Apparently, no one informed Simone that Darren was taken, so Simone starts flirting with him and congratulating him on his awesome plays. Dodie and Macie notice this, and start wondering why this girl is getting all cozy with Darren. Darren quickly walks away, says hi to Dodie and Macie, and wonders why Dodie is wearing her Ginger wig. See, I told you that it wouldn't work. Now, go hide that wig in shame, you creepy girl.<br />
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As Ginger and Orion talk about Ginger's song, Macie runs upstairs and gets Ginger's attention. She tells Ginger that Darren saw right through Dodie's shit disguise and knows that Ginger isn't there. Whoops!<br />
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Ginger's only hope for making up with Darren before the inevitable fight is to get down there and make sure Darren sees her--the <i>real </i>Ginger. Orion tells Ginger that's not a good idea, considering the teacher (whose name is revealed to be Mr. Grundig) will catch her, but Ginger is taking the chance anyway. Sigh... I still think this whole fiasco could have been avoided if Ginger had spoken with Lois or Evil New Zorski about her stress in school, and then she wouldn't have had to go on a coffee bender, and then she wouldn't have had to get addicted to the point where she crashed and burned in Evil New Zorski's class and wound up with detention, rendering her unable to tell Darren about it which may or may not have crushed him.<br />
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And yet, I still love this episode because it shows the detrimental domino effect that could happen if you don't seek help from someone as soon as you need it. And Ginger is getting this lesson whacked into her brain as I type this.<br />
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Darren makes an amazing catch, and the crowd goes wild.<br />
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He scores a touchdown, winning the game 16 to 14 (another cliche--winning a sports game by merely a point or two), and the crowd loses their friggin' minds. After all of Darren's teammates high-fives him and congratulates him on winning the game for them, Simone cartwheels over and gives Darren a congratulatory, flirty hug. At first, Darren is unsure of what to do with this hug, so he looks over at the bleachers where Ginger isn't, and becomes hurt enough to hug Simone back warmly. Oh... oh no.<br />
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If Darren knows that Ginger isn't in the bleachers, why is she still wearing that wig? Because it's Dodie, I know. Naturally, Dodie is too blind to see Darren hugging another girl and wondering about his implications. Stupid ditz. Maybe it's all that Ginger hair in your face.<br />
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Something's amiss with Carl's tea that makes everyone who drinks it start choking on it. Well, this could actually be the tea that Blake's been trying to emulate, actually, because when he drank the tea Carl and Hoodsey made, he didn't start choking.<br />
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Orion distracts Mr. Grundig so that Ginger can sneak out, though I don't know why because the game is already over.<br />
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Darren suddenly figures out Dodie was pretending to be Ginger, and boy does he get pissed.<br />
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The police arrive at the Foutley house to yell at Carl for nearly killing his customers with his tea. But, thanks to Blake's 20-page contract, he gets him and Hoodsey off the hook and puts the blame on Blake.<br />
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Dodie and Macie totally cockblock Darren when he's showing Simone some moves (this is a totally G-rated thing by the way--he's just posing) and reveal that Ginger had detention the entire day. Darren is still rightfully pissed, says Ginger should have just told him the truth, instead of flaking out on him. He demands his shirt back from Dodie, and goes to hang out with the people who actually support him--his teammates and Simone. Hey, what about Dodie and Macie? Oh, yeah, that's right. They kept hush-hush about the truth, too. So, I don't blame Darren if he's upset with Dodie and Macie.<br />
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After Darren leaves with his new friends, he spots Ginger in front of the door of the school. They stare at each other for a while, until Darren turns to leave without saying a word.<br />
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And for the second time this episode, salt is added to the slug when Mr. Grundig catches Ginger in the hallway and assigns her another Saturday detention. Damn, Ginger's in trouble three ways now--academically, with Lois, and now with Darren. I hate to say it, but welcome to the rest of Ginger's high school life. Because from here on out, it's drama-central. And it's all her fault.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>Stop being afraid to tell someone why you can't be at their game; don't try to dress up like your best friend to fool their boyfriend; always read contracts.<br />
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<br /></div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-5664962594763410482015-07-19T15:30:00.005-04:002022-10-22T11:13:16.445-04:00Season 3, Episode 51: "Stuff'll Kill Ya"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, everyone, we have finally made it to the high school episodes! From this point forward, we'll be heading into the unaired (at least in the United States) caverns of the show.<br />
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Strangely, the theme song remains the same. It would have been nice if they had changed it to reflect Ginger and her friends' new looks and school.<br />
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This isn't a first day of school episode--at least, I don't think it is. It looks like the Luckians are about a week or two into their new schedules, seeing as the students are stressing out about assignments already. Honestly, high school is not this stressful--at least not to the point where students are walking around simultaneously neurotic and like they haven't seen a bed in months. That's for college. Take the girl at the beginning of the episode, for example. It's a strange sequence where it follows her on her way to Lucky High drinking some coffee, and the animation pauses every time a new set of credits pop up. There's a funky beat in the background, stopping right as we catch Ginger speed-walking through the halls in an overwhelming fog, with Dodie and Macie right behind her.<br />
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Ginger's schedule had been completely rearranged, most likely because her guidance counselor was arranging students' schedules during a hangover. I totally get it--the week before school begins makes all staff and teachers go on a "pre-first day" bender in preparation for the upcoming year's shenanigans.<br />
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Dodie glances at Ginger's new schedule and notices a teacher with the last name Zorski is her new first period teacher. Naturally, they assume it's Ms. Zorski from the junior high school, and wonder why she hadn't told them she had transferred to Lucky High. Gee girls, I guess it never crossed your minds that two different people can share the same last name. Whatever the truth is, Ginger's stress takes a nosedive as she moseys on down to her new English class.<br />
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Blake has all the kids gathered around to witness his first hairs of manhood--literally. Three blond chest hairs.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_qSUKCHJm7to73RZoDY9zTOEO0QWtgRrL8vjxxlumG4u11-hOeYjS80vjnQgeTo7b-akSc2SjTMoPxGnT_2T6Rq5VpDmwKsasjtVEnWkhGAnz81koNFv_mgZXELacoPF77HJFOztq6Xo/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_qSUKCHJm7to73RZoDY9zTOEO0QWtgRrL8vjxxlumG4u11-hOeYjS80vjnQgeTo7b-akSc2SjTMoPxGnT_2T6Rq5VpDmwKsasjtVEnWkhGAnz81koNFv_mgZXELacoPF77HJFOztq6Xo/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Slightly less disturbing than when Steve from <i>American Dad! </i>proclaimed his "manhood" by showing off his single red pube.</td></tr>
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I'm unsure if Carl is secretly jealous or just being a little turd, because he fake-pukes via a box of apple juice (I personally would have gone with a peanut butter and orange smoothie as the fake puke, but that's just me). He gets really pissed with "The Big Guy upstairs" for inflating Blake's ego even further. Carl decides <i>he</i> wants to be the big shot for once, so he intends to ride on Ginger's solid reputation to make a name for himself at the junior high. Unfortunately, Carl's plan is shattered by our good friend Principal Milty, who is totally onto Carl and whatever pranks he has up his sleeve. He tells Carl he is no longer going to be a shitty example of school authority like he was in the past, and plans on rectifying this by personally going to all of Carl's new teachers and ripping Carl a new asshole right in front of them. Jeez, that's harsh. I understand he just wants to warn the teachers about what Carl is capable of, but this is just going too far. Give the kid a chance to redeem himself!<br />
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Ginger pops into her new class, and it's apparent that Ms. Zorski hadn't transferred to the high school. This is Ms. Zorski's crusty cousin. Ginger still thinks the "real" Ms. Zorski is around somewhere, but as she talks to the new Zorski, she slowly realizes that her fluffy high school dream is, indeed, a nightmare. No easy scheduling. No familiar faces. No sweetheart Zorski.<br />
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The new Zorski realizes that Ginger was a former student of her cousin, and gives a short speech about how she's nothing like her cousin, so Ginger better step it up several notches if she's even going to be considered for a passing grade in her class.<br />
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Ooh, damn! She reminds me <i>so </i>much of a history teacher I had in 7th and 8th grade, Ms. Fassett. Like Ms. Fassett, the new Zorski looks like the kind of tyrant who would slam the door shut upon walking into the classroom and bark at students to take out their notebooks. I wonder if Zorski would also threaten to "kill" us if we looked up definitions in the back of the textbook... Yeah, I probably should have reported her to the principal years ago.<br />
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Carl happens to have the old Ms. Zorski as one of his teachers. He goes up to her and tries to sell her his good side (using the success of Ginger as part of his plan), but Milty has already gotten to her, so Ms. Zorski isn't buying the "new" Carl.<br />
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The kicker is that she knows about an incident where Carl did something horrible to a remedial math class, but because it's a noodle incident, a trope where an incident is talked about but never fully explained or shown, we don't know what exactly Carl did that was so horrible.<br />
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Ginger quickly becomes overwhelmed to the brink with assignments on top of assignments. On the surface, her workload doesn't seem that bad. Project proposals, papers, and overnight assignments? Sounds like a typical workload to me. But apparently, the junior high school didn't prepare Ginger or anyone else at all for the challenges of high school. Isn't that what junior high school is supposed to do? Ha! Ginger hides away in a stall to collect the pieces of her fracturing sanity, and overhears a conversation between two girls (one of whom was the girl at the beginning of the episode) talking about how a coffee, the Mocoloco Frothinator, kept them from crashing and falling behind on their work. When they leave, Ginger jots down the name of the coffee on her hand. I don't like how this is going.<br />
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So, what is this "Mocoloco Frothinator" shite anyway? In a clever segue, Higsby shows Carl and Hoodsey the commercial for the coffee on his new TV watch (predecessor to the Apple watch?), and apparently, it's so fantastic, it'll make you want to rip your clothes off and scream "Mocoloco Frothinator!" into the air in front of thirty strangers.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I can see Starbucks having a monopoly on a drink like this.</td></tr>
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With my extremely limited knowledge of Spanish (and the help of Google translate), "moco" means "mucus" and "loco" is a slang term for "crazy." Crazy Mucus Frothinator? The hell? I would speculate that it's a coffee designed to combat the common cold, but it doesn't look like the woman in the commercial needs a Vitamin C boost.<br />
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Carl is still down in the dumps about his teachers' knowledge of his former naughty shell. Blake isn't making things easier because he just loves to rub Carl's misfortunes in his face like a bad dog who just took a steaming shit on the carpet. Blake can be such a little ass--he's like Ginger's Miranda. Carl tells Blake to go stroke his chest hairs, but Blake laughs in his face, speculating that Carl is only trying to ride the "good boy" wagon so that his teachers will let their guard down just enough for Carl to deliver some quality mischief. Carl calls Blake out on this, and proclaims he can change permanently... starting now.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">...or after he scrapes off those mashed potatoes off the wall.</td></tr>
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Carl goes to his science teacher, Mr. Briggs, to proclaim his goodness, but he just tells him to stay out of his way, and there'll be no problems. For once, Carl might actually have a hook on one of his teachers, but that's about to be tested when Mr. Briggs accidentally leaves a forbidden science cabinet open and exposed to the elements. Carl is tempted--so tempted, like a former alcoholic going to an open bar wedding.<br />
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Alas, the temptation for curiosity breaks him. He cannot find the will to close the freezer and walk away. Instead, he opens the door further and uncaps some fuzzy green thing in a petri dish--meanwhile Mr. Briggs is watching the whole thing from the door window, as if he had purposely set Carl up. What a dick!<br />
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<br />
Mr. Briggs then delivers the most cartoonishly-forced exposition I have ever seen from this show. He proclaims that he is taking revenge on Carl because his daughter was in that aforementioned remedial math class (the noodle incident), and I guess she was affected the most or something. You know, writers, there could have been a more clever way to explain Mr. Briggs's revenge without him having to outright tell the invisible audience why he's tempting Carl. You know that whole "show, don't tell" spiel that writers tell other writers? One clever way would be to have his daughter come up to him in the hallway all bandaged up or with some kind of disability/deformation and ask him to walk her to her new remedial math class. Then Mr. Briggs will look into the door window and mutter something about how Carl deserves whatever is coming to him. It's not a perfect alternative, but it'll shout the same message much better.<br />
<br />
If you want to execute a noodle incident fabulously, consider how they do it in other shows. Take <i>Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show</i>, for instance. Remember how at the beginning of the movie, we're shown images of a scam gone awry, and there are hints as to what the Eds might have done to piss off the cul-de-sac kids to the point where they wanted to <i>kill </i>them, but it's never exclusively mentioned what the scam was or how it screwed up? And then you have the Eds fleeing the cul-de-sac, especially Double D, who is so distraught over what happened that he nearly breaks character? That's how you do a noodle incident. Look up that movie, or at least the first ten minutes, to see what I mean. Not to mention, the build-up of tension is incredible. I would have never imagined that level of quality for visual storytelling to ever appear in a slapstick show like <i>Ed, Edd n Eddy. </i>Actually, here, take a look for yourselves:<br />
<br />
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7ih620eecc<br />
<br />
The next morning, Ginger heads over to Starbucks and tries to play it cool when ordering her first Mocoloco Frothinator. It's kind of an awkward moment when Ginger tries to order a shot of espresso with it over the sound of the machines, the barista says it's too intense for first-timers, and right as the machines stop making noise, Ginger shouts, "I'm a really intense girl!" Heh-heh. So, she forks over the $5 and change, and walks out. And then--it happens.<br />
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<br />
Her pupils constrict to borderline unhealthy levels, and everything becomes a blur--literally.<br />
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To be honest, I think Ginger might have bought the Mocoloco Frothinator <i>after </i>school, because as soon as she gets home, she's as hyper as a two-year-old who hasn't had a nap yet. The effects would have worn off by now if she had bought it before school. She clears off the table--before Lois and Carl have even eaten yet--throws the food in the sink, and starts talking super fast and high-pitched that I have to rewind and watch again just to catch everything she's saying. And then she runs out of the kitchen to go do her homework upstairs. Holy shit, what's in that coffee? Crack?!<br />
<br />
Somehow, Ginger must have snuck out to buy more Mocoloco Frothinators, because there's a pile of them under her feet in her room, and several neat rows of papers on her bedroom floor that reminds me of a similar-looking scene from <i>Catch Me If You Can </i>where Leo DiCaprio's character forges several millions of dollars worth of checks<i>. </i><br />
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<div>
<br />
I suppose that explains Ginger's hyperactivity. Except, I highly doubt Ginger's doing this to forge her way into various high-level professions.</div>
<br />
Anyway, Ginger finishes her homework with lightning speed after midnight, and crashes on her bed. She doesn't even take her shoes off! One thing I've noticed in a lot of cartoons and live-action shows is that you very rarely see someone walking around in their socks, or even bare-footed inside their house. What is up with that? And even worse, people will put their dirty shoes on someone's bedspread, or worse--their pillow. Yeesh! I mean, I know in live-action shows the character rarely sleeps on-screen, and they probably only use those shoes for that scene, but it's just so gross to me. Take off your shoes!<br />
<br />
Yeah, I know I've been neglecting the elephant in the room here, but is it actually necessary for me to mention that Ginger's Mocoloco Frothinator habit is being portrayed as a straight-up crack addiction? I know that an overload of caffeine is bound to make even a zombie jolt around like a dying fish, but this sudden burst of energy and crashing just seems a tad unrealistic to me. My mom drinks coffee all day long, no fewer than three cups a day, and yet she's not bouncing off the walls like Ginger is. I'm wondering if this is supposed to be a metaphor for how quickly a drug can take over your life. But I must wonder: is everyone else who drinks the Mocoloco Frothinator seasoned coffee veterans who are able to control the proper amount to drink? Like the girls in the bathroom, for instance. They don't seem as high-strung as Ginger.<br />
<br />
I think it would be interesting to see how other characters would fare with a caffeine addiction. Like Macie. Or, no.. HIGSBY. Hyper kid meets caffeine. Ooh! I'll grab the popcorn!<br />
<br />
One more thing--with the amount of homework Ginger has, how is <i>anyone</i>, let alone a Ginger the new coffee addict, supposed to complete it all on time? Someone with no extra responsibilities or extracurriculars should <i>not</i> need several sleepless hours to complete one night of homework. I am concerned for the other students who have after-school clubs and sports. How do they get all their work done on time? What's going on over there at Lucky High?<br />
<br />
The next morning, Lois struggles to make a cup o' joe out of her broken coffeepot, and nearly has a heart attack when Ginger shuffles into the kitchen. Lois tells her it's after ten in the morning, and Ginger breaks down in hysterics for oversleeping, fearing the wrath of the "evil new Zorski" and her I-don't-like-screw-up-children mentality.<br />
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<br />
Ginger begs Lois to write her a sick note, but Lois refuses for ethical reasons. And that's when Ginger starts digging her own grave.<br />
<br />
Honestly, if a teacher is causing you that much distress, you need to speak with them--or your guidance counselor. And if that doesn't work, asking the principal to fire them might work... hopefully. Hey, it's worth a try! Damn, I really wish I could have told someone higher in authority about Ms. Fassett's behavior years ago. It's not normal to fear for your own safety when your teacher walks into class.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Back at the junior high school (it's weird saying that with Carl in context), Mr. Briggs's plan to scare the shit out of Carl works flawlessly as he wryly mentions to the class that he "accidentally" left the science lab freezer open, leaving the specimen in the petri dish exposed to the air. This specimen happens to be very "deadly," and "infectious," and Mr. Briggs really hammers this point in. No, more like he shoves it down Carl's throat specifically. Everyone in the class totally believes him, despite the fact that Mr. Briggs's tone is strictly malicious, and not concerning in any way. Basically, he indirectly says that Carl has an incurable "disease" for opening the petri dish, exposing the virus inside, and is going to die in the next two days. And with that, Carl is deeply regretting every wrong he's ever made in his life.<br />
<br />
All right, where is security? This bastard needs to be fired immediately, and forbidden from obtaining any teaching job for the rest of his life.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKhSFVseDdbmu-Wu_D2ukCC42VZj5j_Ru7cRKu-olvbwEjHTk8qGZmzbDGx3k__GVQNjPP2MI74jTN1cagh3TuHRE9rYOcC7iGD1HF8fDlNmmHgG_6qgP5laT4QXpOgclr-6YJqVse_sE/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKhSFVseDdbmu-Wu_D2ukCC42VZj5j_Ru7cRKu-olvbwEjHTk8qGZmzbDGx3k__GVQNjPP2MI74jTN1cagh3TuHRE9rYOcC7iGD1HF8fDlNmmHgG_6qgP5laT4QXpOgclr-6YJqVse_sE/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The only way this scenario could be worse is if the specimen in the freezer actually was deadly. Mr. Briggs would be a murderer.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Does anyone else find it twisted that Blake knows it was Carl who exposed himself to the virus, but doesn't give two shits that he's about to die?<br />
<br />
You know, no sane school would allow their science department to hold an incurable virus--let alone in a flimsy container that could easily be exposed to others. I know the students probably don't think it's illegal, but what if someone ran to Milty and told him what was happening? Ah, it's Milty. He'd just barricade himself in his office and let the virus kill off all the students.<br />
<br />
Ginger goes to Dodie and Macie for advice on how to deal with Evil New Zorski (I think I'll refer to her in that regard from now on). Dodie and Macie notice Ginger is abnormally high-strung, and suspect that her new coffee habit has something to do with it. Dodie drops it in the trash, but Ginger actually makes a dive for it. Pathetic!<br />
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Carl proclaims that he's going to make the "last" 48 hours of his life count.<br />
<br />
Ginger sheepishly walks into Evil New Zorski's room after class let out and hands her last night's homework and a silly excuse about how she's taking iron. Evil New Zorski doesn't take Ginger's shit at all, and gets all sassy with her. She refuses to accept late homework, lame excuses, and lazy freshman chicken scratch handwriting. But I suppose since Ginger sincerely looks apologetic, Evil New Zorski pushes a do-over assignment in Ginger's direction. To add more weight to the mountain of stress Ginger is under, she tells Ginger that they're having an exam on the material covered in class--material that Ginger wasn't able to obtain since she was out cold. How is she supposed to study from material she doesn't have? I highly doubt she knows anyone in her class to borrow their notes.<br />
<br />
In the nurse's lounge, a familiar nurse, Nurse Betty, tells Lois about her next-door neighbor and how she's oblivious to her kids fucking themselves up. This prompts Lois to realize that <i>she's</i> oblivious to Ginger's coffee addiction, and runs home to fix it. Boy, that was fast.<br />
<br />
Carl launches into a melodramatic goodbye speech to Higsby as they walk home from school. And then he gives him a hug, something I really wish I didn't have to see.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPLJTqUWBrwIXQvfxUDfrSfal4Druz3JjLmtoGJ2QXg1lp6IlRxJyyh9hOpiUf6BmU8mAK5N7jQGAbPHRRWkFyHXyxcCNK3In4VkueXJTKDQW03fkLpHdNJaIwDYEZCW8SSPbcTj08JAY/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPLJTqUWBrwIXQvfxUDfrSfal4Druz3JjLmtoGJ2QXg1lp6IlRxJyyh9hOpiUf6BmU8mAK5N7jQGAbPHRRWkFyHXyxcCNK3In4VkueXJTKDQW03fkLpHdNJaIwDYEZCW8SSPbcTj08JAY/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Does this mean Carl and Higsby are officially <i>friends</i>?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Hoodsey's like, "Slow down on all the brotherly love, Casanova," but Carl's clouded mind doesn't make him see how his imminent death is making him delusional. Must be a placebo effect. Also, I may know nothing about pathology, but doesn't Carl notice that he neither feels nor looks ill in any way, shape, or form (except for the fact that he's hugging Higsby, but we'll come back to that)? If this disease was so deadly, you'd think Carl (and Higsby) would notice they'd come with deadly symptoms. Now, you many think Carl's sudden admiration for Higsby is a sufficient symptom, but I'm being serious. Kids are not naturally hypochondriacs--if they feel just fine, they won't think something is wrong with them. I wonder why no one questioned if Mr. Briggs was just screwing with them.<br />
<br />
Lois seeks out Dodie and Macie to find Ginger, and they spot her walking out of Starbucks with six grande Mocoloco Frothinators.<br />
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Baristas should be like bartenders--they should cut people off when they've had too much to drink. This stuff could kill Ginger if she's not careful. Not that it's ever mentioned--implicitly or explicitly--Ginger tries to explain how she desperately needs the Mocolocos to complete her schoolwork so she can pass and get into college, but Lois isn't convinced.<br />
<br />
You know, Ginger's stress most likely isn't academic-related. I think she's using school as the catalyst for her stress. Going deeper, it seems like Ginger is actually worried about being successful in the future, on a grander scale. Not even academically. High school became too much to handle, and now Ginger can't handle life in general without chugging down caffeine. It's just the way she paces back and forth that makes me think she's worried about much more than just school is what I'm trying to get at here.<br />
<br />
Announcing the two greatest quotes ever to come out of Lois's wise mind... and <i>As Told by Ginger</i>:<br />
<br />
<b>"If our 'ifs' and 'buts' were candies and nuts, we'd all have a very Merry Christmas!"</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>"I want you in bed early tonight. And you don't don't have to worry about oversleeping; you just got yourself a brand-new alarm clock. The name's Lois."</b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mother of the century.</td></tr>
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As Lois tosses the Mocoloco Frothinators into the garbage, Macie explains to Ginger that what Ginger thought was a solution to her stress is actually making it worse. Even Dodie is right when she says the Mocoloco is controlling her. Dodie--of all people. You know Ginger screwed up big time when Dodie actually says something helpful.<br />
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Okay, Carl has officially lost his marbles. He just called Joann a "wonderful mother" and "doting wife" with "two beautiful children." HAHAHAHA! Okay, I redact what I had said earlier about Carl suffering from a placebo effect. Carl is most definitely sick. No blood tests or CAT scans are necessary. Surprisingly, Joann is quite neutral to this "new" Carl. It's as if she's going to miss the old days like when he nearly killed her with rotten clams on the Bishops' trip to Loon Lake.<br />
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Hoodsey is completely astonished by Carl's 180 degree personality shift. But you know what? This is proof that Carl is a good kid deep down. Truly wild kids would spend their last moments alive driving around on a flaming golf cart down the highway while chasing after a herd of deer. Oh, come on. Don't act like you wouldn't prefer to see Carl do that instead of his lovefest with everyone in Sheltered Shrubs.<br />
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And Hoodsey, I think, admitted to either masturbating in his bed, or pissing it on a nightly basis when he offers his racecar bed to Carl in the event of his own premature death.<br />
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Doctor Dave joins the Foutleys for dinner and wonders if Lois is being hypocritical by saying Ginger shouldn't drink coffee when Lois herself has 3 cups a day. Lois gives the excuse that she's an adult, which I think is supposed to be interpreted as Lois being old enough to make her own decision, but that's not how it sounded to Doctor Dave. But Lois agrees that Doctor Dave is right. And so, Ginger offscreen agrees to kick her Mocoloco Frothinator addiction in the ass.<br />
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Somehow, the conversation segues into Carl nonchalantly admitting his supposed death in hours to come. He explains the whole story to Lois and Doctor Dave, who are so furious that they (well, mostly Lois) is going to go down to the junior high school and snap Mr. Briggs's neck for telling Carl he was going to die.<br />
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The next morning, Lois goes up to Ginger's room and tells her that she's open for communication if Ginger' ever under stress. I thought that was painfully obvious, considering the close relationship Ginger has with Lois.<br />
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I'm genuinely surprised Lois doesn't offer any practical solutions for Ginger to combat her stress--or Evil New Zorski. It really downplays the entire episode, like there's a huge chunk of it missing. I thought this show was supposed to offer solutions to problems. The solution here cannot be to just talk to your parents. What if they don't know what to do, either? Come on, writers, at least show Ginger creating an agenda book or something--anything that has a solution for why Ginger felt she needed the caffeine in the first place. Such a good episode with excellent potential. What a wasted opportunity!<br />
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Through Ginger's voice over, she wonders whether Evil New Zorski expecting the worst of Ginger brought out the worst in her, and if it's possible to succeed if everyone expects her to fail. That's a sign of insecurity, Ginger. A fear that you're not living up to your own expectations of yourself. Seriously, this episode doesn't feel complete unless Ginger has a solution to her stress. There is no ending here! She's not doing any better at the end of the episode than at the beginning.<br />
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I feel like this whole episode was just anti-coffee/anti ritalin, and nothing else. Not only that, but this episode barely skimmed the surface of the dangerous effects of caffeine addiction. Being high-strung and narcoleptic are seen as the worst of the effects? Really? What about the messed-up sleep cycles? Slipping into a coma? <i>Death</i>? I know this is a kids show, but it just feels like we're being cheated out of a drug episode that doesn't explain the real dangers of the drug. It's like having an episode where someone's addicted to alcohol, and the most you show of its destructive nature is of someone getting drunk and waking up the next morning confused and with a penis drawn on their face with a Sharpie. To many kids, that'll just make alcohol even more enticing.<br />
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Maybe we should just leave the drug episodes to medical dramas. Or PSA commercials. And now I'm thinking of that 80s PSA with Pee Wee Herman telling us not to do crack. Yes. This episode and that PSA kind of get the same reaction out of me.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>too much coffee is bad, mmkay? Why, oh, you don't need to know the truly dangerous reasons. Just don't drink it; don't piss off a teacher who is afflicted with Schadenfreude; talking to your parents is the perfect solution to every problem.<br />
<br /></div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-35689670529803851042015-07-12T18:30:00.001-04:002022-10-22T11:14:54.053-04:00Season 3, Episode 50: "Fair to Cloudy"Hey, guys! After you check out this week's review, look up at the links--I added a new FAQ (frequently asked questions) page that provides answers to all your burning <i>ATBG </i>questions.<br />
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The girls are making lemonade in the Foutley kitchen in honor of their annual trip to the county fair. There's a truckload of exposition about their previous experience at this fair, and Dodie especially puts a lot of emphasis on how it's <i>unchanging</i>, and we all know that when someone puts emphasis on a certain adjective, you know something in the plot is going to change that--and that change is Ginger inviting Darren along. Naturally, Dodie is pissed:<br />
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Ginger tries to convince them that Darren is totally into funnel cakes and ferris wheels, but Dodie and Macie (and when I say that, I mean mostly Dodie) speculates that Ginger just wants to bring him along for some steamy make-out sessions and over-the-shirt groping. Somehow, Ginger manages to convince Dodie that there won't be any sexy stuff (because the God of Nickelodeon knows damn well she'd be jealous of Darren sitting next to Ginger on all the two-seater rides), so she reluctantly agrees to let him come along.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"My hands are cold, too, Ginger."</i></td></tr>
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Hoodsey is totally stoked to see a live camel at the county fair, but Carl has other plans. Remember Dwayne? His cousin is hosting a conglomerate of carnies--you know, a freak show. Except this year, there's going to be a two-headed horse. Carl would have to be in a coma to pass up the chance to see that. Hoodsey totally fangirls over this two-headed equus ferus, And so, the camel is out and the horse is in.<br />
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While Dodie annoys Hoodsey about Ginger bringing Darren to the fair on their walk home together, Courtney pulls up in the Griplingmobile and asks for Dodie's advice on how to spend her last days of summer. But she advises her not to come too close, otherwise she'll catch a case of summer boredom. Courtney definitely has caught something, but not boredom, to even form the idea in her subconscious to talk to Dodie.<br />
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Before I continue, I must ask--how many times has Courtney worn that brown button-down shirt with that preppy skirt? For someone obsessed with fashion, and in a cartoon where the characters frequently change their wardrobe, Courtney has been recycling that outfit an awful lot. It's not only out-of-character, but it's an oddity for the show. Still, one day, I'm going to find and wear that outfit.<br />
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Anyway, Dodie spills her problem on Courtney, and then suddenly gets an idea on how to both ruin Ginger's fun and help Courtney at the same time. This is not going to be good.<br />
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While Lois makes breakfast from a week-old Tex-Mex casserole (eww), Darren pops in to pick up Ginger for the fair. Carl asks Darren if he wants to go see the cooler side of the fair, but Ginger butts in saying that he'll have <i>much </i>more fun petting bunnies and getting stuck on rides. Darren doesn't catch Ginger's obvious flirting, which isn't like him.<br />
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Anyway, Winston drives up to the Foutley house to pick up the kids, and out pops Courtney sporting overalls and Laura Ingalls braids. It's adorable how Courtney tries to dress for the occasion, but on the other, it makes me wonder if she understands the difference between stereotypes and reality.<br />
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Ginger, Macie, and Darren are totally flabbergasted at Courtney seemingly inviting herself to the fair, and it's all thanks to Dodie. And by the looks of it, Dodie looks pretty damn satisfied with her pathetic form of revenge.<br />
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Honestly, how twisted must one teen be to think that further breaking their "best friend tradition" by inviting yet another person to the fair counts as revenge? Dodie actually looks like this is going to cause Ginger serious emotional trauma. From an outsider's point-of-view, you'd think Dodie was an idiot. In Dodie's mind, however, this is a direct attack on Ginger which, indeed, will bother her. Dodie knows exactly how to hurt Ginger--that's no question. It's revenge for inviting Darren. Revenge for Darren "stealing" Ginger away from her. Revenge for Darren getting his headgear off and getting hot and dating Ginger. If I haven't said it yet, Dodie seriously needs to cut her umbilical cord and grow the fuck up already.<br />
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As soon as the kids get to the fair, Darren already makes a plan to hit a few rides, grab a corndog, and split by one. Damn, what a wet blanket. Somehow, I don't think Darren even wanted to go to the fair at all--not even with just Ginger. Ginger most likely knows this, and probably had to bribe him with a handjob.<br />
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Carl and Hoodsey ask Ginger for money to get Lois a new potato peeler, but Ginger is onto Carl, and speculates that he's just going to spend the money on his own selfish wants. Carl expects this, so he congratulates Ginger on her skepticism and walks off to see the horse anyway. What was the purpose of asking Ginger for money, then?<br />
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Ginger busts Darren's balls for not being able to watch him eat a cinnamon bun for the first time, and then scoffs at him for wanting to ride the rides to the point of puking. Looks like nobody is getting their "perfect" fair day, huh?<br />
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Dodie and Macie give Courtney a mini tour of the sheep barn full of these fluffy clouds with faces who are getting ready for a show competition. Courtney, naturally, is attracted to this fashion opportunity. They even show her their favorite sheep, Mamie, but she won't be in the competition on account of her uterus has popped out a <i>tiny</i> fluffy cloud with a <i>tiny</i> face. <i>Squeeeeee! </i>I mean <i>baaaahhhhh!</i><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The lamb is female. Know how I can tell? She has eyelashes.</td></tr>
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Apparently, the little lamb is having some trouble getting a latch on her mother's nipple, so the girls stay behind to help.<br />
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Ginger drags Darren into the barn, and he's clearly not into all the fluffy cuties. The smell alone is enough to get him ready to high-tail it the moment he enters. Ginger, at this point, is getting pissed, both at Dodie who's rushing her and Darren who doesn't want to do anything. Hell, I'd be pissed too if I was Ginger right now. Rides are fun, but little baby sheep aren't going to stay babies forever! No, but seriously, I actually have to side with Dodie for the third time in the entire series--bringing Darren along really <i>is </i>ruining their fun, for <i>everyone </i>Ginger included. If just Ginger, Macie, and Dodie went, they'd get to do everything they wanted and be happy, and not have to have a grumpy new football freshman tugging at Ginger's sleeve in boredom every time they take a step. Seriously, Darren, what's your deal? If you're so bored, just go off and do what you want. You don't have to stay with Ginger.<br />
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Courtney delivers the funniest line of the season thus far:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Come on, none of this silliness. You can reject your mother later, when you're a teenage lamb." - Courtney</td></tr>
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And Ginger's response to that is priceless:<br />
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So, the lamb is finally able to suckle, all thanks to Courtney. The sheep farmer comes over and congratulates Courtney on a job well done. Darren is so grossed out by these natural animal behaviors that he runs out of the barn to chase and tackle his manhood before it gets eaten by the sheep. And then Dodie makes a smug comment about it that seriously makes me want to punch her in the face twice.<br />
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Carl seeks out Dwayne's cousin and is able to get the location of the two-headed horse, plus a roll of tickets. Such smooth-talking. If this were a darker show, Carl would definitely be a drug lord by the time he's fifteen.<br />
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Dodie and Macie take Courtney through a craft barn, and Courtney sits down with an old woman who's making cloth. By this point, Darren has had enough. He whines to Ginger and asks why they can't just go off by themselves, but Ginger doesn't want to break from Dodie and Macie because if she does, Dodie will be right about Ginger only wanting to invite Darren along so they can be alone together. Ginger banishes Darren to go look at old furniture while she has a quick talk with Dodie and Macie. She actually has the gall to say that <i>Courtney </i>is ruining their fun time--an obvious cover-up to avoid admitting that Dodie was *gasp* <i>right</i>. She then tells Dodie that she should have never invited Courtney along without consulting her first, but Dodie makes a valid point that she shouldn't have invited Darren along, either.<br />
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Okay, pause for a moment. Now, I don't want you to think that what Dodie did was any more justifiable than what Ginger did. Two wrongs don't make a right, you know. But I will say that Dodie has a solid argument--this fair is supposed to be meant for the three of them, and the three of them only. It's their tradition. But now, Ginger thinks it's okay to bring Darren along just because they're dating, even though Dodie and Macie clearly didn't want him to come. Ginger had to <i>beg </i>them to invite Darren, even though she knew this was against their set plan. Not to mention, Ginger wanted Darren to come along so badly, and yet she ignores him and his whines of boredom.<br />
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So, when Dodie does the same thing back to Ginger, Ginger complains that what Dodie did was wrong. Man, if that's not the pot calling the kettle black, then the pot needs some glasses.<br />
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I really hate to sympathize with Dodie because she's just as much a bitch, but Ginger just does not see how hypocritical she's being. It's like Ginger is no longer just Ginger anymore--she's now Ginger <i>and </i> Darren--because now he is practically part of her. That is not healthy.<br />
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And another thing that pisses me off is that Ginger considers Courtney her friend, but she doesn't want to share her "best friend tradition" with her--but with Darren. I still stand by what I said several episodes ago about how Ginger and Courtney could never truly become friends. Because Ginger doesn't <i>want </i>to be friends with Courtney. She'd rather spend her time with a known backstabbing, social-climbing bitch than someone who has been nothing but kind and generous to her since the first episode. And yet this show is supposed to mimic real life. <i>Get the fuck outta here!</i><br />
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Rant over. Darren exits the barn telling Ginger that he's sick and tired of being dragged around doing shit he doesn't want to do, so he's off to eat pizza and puke it all out on some rides. Good on you, Darren. Nice to see you're not Ginger's carpet.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQc2t_IqOpJegGmWVHzLo1scwEItX87bjNmPkcbnStpNieFhwYvPI98My_I7tfurLy2ERXT9xauebqfuAekqJ5gA6wqB9e53Ik70OP4EKMCtBTZHsG8CukFMckYsN6R1lBmwWh6aD5fJY/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQc2t_IqOpJegGmWVHzLo1scwEItX87bjNmPkcbnStpNieFhwYvPI98My_I7tfurLy2ERXT9xauebqfuAekqJ5gA6wqB9e53Ik70OP4EKMCtBTZHsG8CukFMckYsN6R1lBmwWh6aD5fJY/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lately, it's been getting harder for me to accept Ginger as a likeable character. </td></tr>
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So, the wheels must finally be turning in Ginger's head after all--she can't satisfy the wants of her friends and Darren at the same time. I know what Ginger wanted to do--she wanted to have the fun she has with Dodie and Macie, but with Darren along. But it can't work if one party isn't having fun. That's why people say to keep your friends and love life separate.<br />
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Carl and Hoodsey nearly pee their pants in anticipation of the horse. They get inside the tent and start checking out the smaller oddities before they make it to the big attractions, and they don't look very impressed. Like, a capybara being advertised as the world's largest mouse--as if it's the largest of its kind. The way this scene is set up makes it seem like this two-headed horse is going to be a fraud like the other animals. Carl is so upset at the crowd's aggressiveness trying to squeeze their way to the front that he suddenly feels bad about the horse's exploitation. Not that this is out of character for Carl--he's shown to have a big heart for animals. But then he becomes so motivated that he leaps onto the back of the horse (horses?) and rides it out of the tent. Shouldn't there be security guards to prevent this? A taller fence? Anything?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG-BG5YutPU-sxLlt2WWNarCQPpy4sB3fLpBMvSE4H4fOlO6v_kTUhEw-wSJySyFrUTV7129R2T20C4FIX2Q2UinSqhSxQ0Pqd3k2RsdaYhXRz1W7fmdNklhKaVoJgpTkVTTWoHNPg6Po/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG-BG5YutPU-sxLlt2WWNarCQPpy4sB3fLpBMvSE4H4fOlO6v_kTUhEw-wSJySyFrUTV7129R2T20C4FIX2Q2UinSqhSxQ0Pqd3k2RsdaYhXRz1W7fmdNklhKaVoJgpTkVTTWoHNPg6Po/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There's something off about the lighter-colored horse... I wonder why...</td></tr>
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Carl rides the creature through the fair, past Ginger, who doesn't give a crap. Because this is Carl. Anyway, Courtney leads the girls over to a picture T-shirt booth, because there is nothing she will not try. At least Ginger finally admits that she was the one who dragged Darren along by his own will, but that doesn't make anyone any happier because the tradition is broken beyond repair.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsZ7HvudIjcyWtKhJoKfSVDZylTXC5M8lKL8ElPLOM1afOsHoSsJ3G7bA_YsgVDW_fSYGwTPV-JxRpWqexIXYYz0ypdUrvdAxGi0L4mfm_YEjLLt1TAld_WTg37OyDCoevEaP_siD6yvU/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsZ7HvudIjcyWtKhJoKfSVDZylTXC5M8lKL8ElPLOM1afOsHoSsJ3G7bA_YsgVDW_fSYGwTPV-JxRpWqexIXYYz0ypdUrvdAxGi0L4mfm_YEjLLt1TAld_WTg37OyDCoevEaP_siD6yvU/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can I get this in an 8x10?</td></tr>
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At least they take a better picture with them all smiling.<br />
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So, it turns out the two-headed horse is a two-headed lie.<br />
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Carl is fooled for a moment, but soon realizes that he got suckered like every other dumb kid. If it's too good to be true, it always is. There's an interesting lesson for the kids!<br />
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Courtney continues to have the time of her life throwing balls at metal clown heads and stuffing her face full of deep-fried, calorie-laden snacks. Meanwhile, Ginger and friends grow frustrated trying to find Darren, and they begin to realize that inviting Courtney along wasn't actually that terrible idea. They really don't give her enough credit.<br />
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The best part is that Dodie *gasp* realizes she screwed up by getting revenge on Ginger and *bigger gasp* actually apologizes. Sincerely. To her face. And she was actually <i>right </i>about Ginger when she thought she was going to have a better time with Darren than them. Holy Hell, this is a <i>Twilight Zone</i>-y episode! Ginger is the bad guy and Dodie is sympathetic! Oh, how I hope this means Dodie is going to develop into a better person and an actual friend! Oh, how I know that's not going to happen!<br />
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So, instead of Ginger getting pissed with Dodie for trying to ruin her time with Darren, all is forgiven. How great would it be if some kind of logical reaction happened whenever these two fought?<br />
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And so, everyone has a jolly good time for the rest of the afternoon.<br />
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The girls hit up a seaplane ride, and Courtney's sensitive stomach starts acting up and making her nauseous. We all know what that means. And by golly, that is the most realistic girlish scream I have ever heard from a cartoon.<br />
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On their way down from the ride, Ginger spots Darren buying a slice of pizza, and from that moment on, they make up. That night, Ginger finally gets to ride the ferris wheel with Darren--though I'm not sure if they get stuck. Does it really matter, though? Ginger got what she wanted, even after fighting tooth and nail with Dodie. Oh, and look at that--Darren got Lois's potato peeler! Ginger's voiceover comes over and mentions that it's exhausting trying to balance old traditions with new friends. Yeah, no shit.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>don't <strike>include</strike> force your boyfriend in your best friend traditions; if someone ever tells you they know of a two-headed horse, pop off one of their heads to prove how not gullible you are; don't assume someone won't find something fun just because they wouldn't ordinarily do it<br />
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<br /></div><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-56859905622744862372015-07-05T09:18:00.002-04:002022-10-22T11:17:35.656-04:00Season 3, Episode 49: "Heat Lightning" Greetings! Hope my fellow Americans' 4th of July weekend was fantastic! And for all my international fans, hope your weekend was still just as fun (if not better!) In honor of all the summertime revelries, we're up to "Heat Lightning" this week.<br />
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On a side note, a big shout-out to NoParking Berry--thanks to his help. from now on, the blog will feature high-quality screenshots. No more black bars! No more visible pixels! Woo!<br />
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Maybe once this blog is finished, I'll go back and retake all the screenshots. It's only fair. I'm still considering whether or not to do another review blog as well. Ahh! The answer to that will be answered soon!<br />
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Oh, boy. It's time for the girls to go back to Camp Caprice. Which means non-stop a capella chanting of that damn song--that song that's so corny, it makes <i>Full House </i>look like <i>The Sopranos. </i>Okay, that's a bit of a stretch, but still. I hate that song.<br />
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Anyway, the main plot device of this episode is that there's a record heat wave going through Connecticut, making everyone crankier than usual. As Ginger rushes to pack (or, rather, takes her sweet time) she looks at photos of her and Darren and wonders if they're growing apart. Meanwhile, Joann is downstairs impatiently waiting for Ginger so she can take her, Macie, and her spawn to the bus stop for Camp Caprice.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why does Joann even volunteer to do anything child-related since she hates children so much?</td></tr>
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Ooh, by the way, check out the trio's new 'dos. Ginger's curly hair is longer, Dodie took out those stupid pigtails, and Macie grew her hair out a little. If you ask me, they all look 10 times better.<br />
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Higsby delivers bags of ice as debt to Carl and Hoodsey (Mr. Licorice ate Maude's gallstone), and he is so done. No, I mean he is <i>done. </i>After what appears to be weeks of slugging giant bags of ice back from the convenience store, he delivers the last few bags to the doghouse, tells Carl and Hoodsey they can go eat a dick, and leaves.<br />
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Now, the boys have a dilemma--since they can't hire someone to beat the sense back into Higsby with a rusty club, they must either buy an air conditioner or haul in ice *gasp* <i>themselves!</i><br />
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Hey, what is Courtney doing on the bus? I know I have poor memory, but I know for a fact that girl hated Camp Caprice with every wealthy fiber in her being. What is she doing being a camp leader when she can be on a yacht sipping non-alcoholic strawberry daiquiris?<br />
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Dodie starts showing Courtney pictures of her vacation to Mount Rushmore for some reason. Naturally, Joann is on the side waiting for her family to stop having fun so they can go home and be miserable with her again.<br />
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Ginger tries to solicit advice from Courtney about her boredom with Darren, comparing him to chocolate (is that supposed to be an unintentional pun or something?) If we're sticking with the skin color pun, Courtney's advice is for Ginger to start dating other races, or "flavors". You know, for variety. Basically, Courtney has no idea that Ginger is talking about Darren, so her advice is out of context.<br />
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Suddenly, the scene flips over to a naked Carl sitting in front of an open freezer.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr6qGzEd6xpB0Ns4PNwwt2GzCSQGym6OvBdiBg4_Z9eU_Iy7b_cPz5jqw6Kpmfd68GeN3lXYsWdhB33Hk0kp5L2Q4Fcd14cjk1ic2l_ZsrSt4eka1PN4GtMjh577-1rR7JnsQfOz1YyB0/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr6qGzEd6xpB0Ns4PNwwt2GzCSQGym6OvBdiBg4_Z9eU_Iy7b_cPz5jqw6Kpmfd68GeN3lXYsWdhB33Hk0kp5L2Q4Fcd14cjk1ic2l_ZsrSt4eka1PN4GtMjh577-1rR7JnsQfOz1YyB0/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why not climb inside the freezer and sit in there?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Lois comes home with Doctor Dave and tells Carl to put his damn clothes on. Carl tries to negotiate an air conditioner for Lois's wedding registry, but the Foutley house is so old and decrepit that their electrical system wouldn't be able to handle it. Coincidentally, Doctor Dave's condo is being fumigated after a certain fire ant incident by Carl left the place toxic for the time being, so they can't stay there.<br />
<br />
Thus, Lois announces that Doctor Dave will be staying over for a few days, to which Carl makes this face:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrJXNnXyQzSsXF9r1slqSub5QB9YYJYWJ2Q37kC8oThDKH6y4ryRrtmOMk_t4g_t0roJDfqOx9i68CA7vVPctGjN88toGOSvuzpcLwnHUWW_J5TtPEKYFW0frBkb1GUBZlTdG8osrheOg/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrJXNnXyQzSsXF9r1slqSub5QB9YYJYWJ2Q37kC8oThDKH6y4ryRrtmOMk_t4g_t0roJDfqOx9i68CA7vVPctGjN88toGOSvuzpcLwnHUWW_J5TtPEKYFW0frBkb1GUBZlTdG8osrheOg/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Again, yes, this is a kids' show. </td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
I find it disturbing that Carl would be thinking about Lois having sex. I find it disturbing that Carl has <i>no problem </i>thinking about Lois, his mother, having sex. Can you make this face while imagining your mom doin' the dirty deed? But, no pre-marital sex for these two--probably to appease the prudish soccer moms who don't want their children to even form the word "hormones" in their seemingly-innocent minds. So, Doctor Dave will be staying in Ginger's room. Wait, why not have Doctor Dave sleep in Lois's room, and Lois sleep in Ginger's room? I don't know--I find it weird for a grown man to be sleeping in a teenage girl's bed.<br />
<br />
Back at Camp Caprice, the lead counselor introduces something brand-new to the campers alongside the standard ribbons: "The Caprice"--a trophy that looks like it's made out of golden foil that will be given away to the cabin that shows the best Camp Caprice "spirit." Oh, look, rewards for "trying." This is why we're going to end up with a generation with spoiled, entitled brats who can't handle criticism.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV8F4siXG2dFnw3kyTNOjQaWj2g2GQZ0lopJ9yu0JNoy0RAikAarqhXdOLSoSOi9M_Wd-R7VMYOZtWrL410prFv91pFamkvVirx18cCklQNFofYz_4JkqyQ1I7Oc8BAV4cs7MkD0LLwr8/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV8F4siXG2dFnw3kyTNOjQaWj2g2GQZ0lopJ9yu0JNoy0RAikAarqhXdOLSoSOi9M_Wd-R7VMYOZtWrL410prFv91pFamkvVirx18cCklQNFofYz_4JkqyQ1I7Oc8BAV4cs7MkD0LLwr8/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"We're also giving away a $25,000 scholarship to the college of your choosing to the special camper who can kiss my ass the hardest! No, Dodie, kissing Courtney's ass doesn't count."</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
While leading the Caprice kids into the woods, Ginger hears a laugh that sounds vaguely like Sasha's. Yes, <i>that </i>Sasha. For some reason, she turns around and heads toward's Sasha's voice, totally unaware that there are 10 kids under the age of 10 she's supposed to keep from getting lost in the woods. Ginger, after awakening from her hormone-infested hallucination, returns back to the group thinking more about Sasha and less about Darren.<br />
<br />
That night, Ginger writes about Sasha in her journal, but cannot figure out why all her feelings about him suddenly rushed back to her even though she's dating Darren now. I can tell you why, Ginger. You miss the way Sasha made you feel (before he made all those accusations, anyway). You miss the thrill of a romance. You got excited because you felt emotions you haven't felt for a long time. In other words, Darren ain't got no more game.<br />
<br />
Carl puts a down payment on an air conditioner, and even manages to swing a mile's worth of extension cords free of charge. Either Carl's the best negotiator ever to be born into this cruel, hard world, or the sales clerk got suckered by an 11-year-old.<br />
<br />
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<span><!--more--></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6oOsM7IvDo0kvLPT9bDEfioRrLryvRxK7LdI8Hd0sau_vYl70nFdnlA2RdSlzi8VrCiwrilC8amBgUXbd66tTL0cc7PNFBoXNI7-fitYgdWIrdEN9hDF0oRzmb-1h-RkGjqB0-X0vIEo/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6oOsM7IvDo0kvLPT9bDEfioRrLryvRxK7LdI8Hd0sau_vYl70nFdnlA2RdSlzi8VrCiwrilC8amBgUXbd66tTL0cc7PNFBoXNI7-fitYgdWIrdEN9hDF0oRzmb-1h-RkGjqB0-X0vIEo/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Ginger spills her dilemma on Courtney again, but Courtney is so vague and uses such obscure analogies that even a former English major like myself can't understand what she's trying to say. "There's nothing wrong with a little electricity, as long as you don't get shocked." I'm not sure if Courtney means that Ginger should go fuck Sasha and not tell Darren, or if Ginger should just let herself keep thinking about Sasha, as long as she doesn't try to make a move on him.<br />
<br />
Hey, this is illegal:<br />
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<br />
Making two lazy boys work for two overworked adults at 8 dollars an hour! How cruel! Minimum wage is $9.15 a hour! (Actually in 2000, it was $6.15 an hour, but that would kill my attempt at a joke.)<br />
<br />
The doorbell rings. Hoodsey runs to get it and... <i>oh no.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><!--more--></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM4Kw0FdeVUYE5IGO7KAJZEQdlfEsPNRLNo0NsM1KqLRVQlTRW9PvRZ51gBFPKhhqqq-i20hkDRxjiUDTTKvsMwaOd1Qmw7suGlbxjp7v3wtsQcsFrWIH1elGEzxqMgamU3CWF-ahM3Ac/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM4Kw0FdeVUYE5IGO7KAJZEQdlfEsPNRLNo0NsM1KqLRVQlTRW9PvRZ51gBFPKhhqqq-i20hkDRxjiUDTTKvsMwaOd1Qmw7suGlbxjp7v3wtsQcsFrWIH1elGEzxqMgamU3CWF-ahM3Ac/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<i><br /></i>Hmm, she seems like she's going to be a big part of season 3, so maybe I should have a consistent name for her. Doctor Dave's mom? Mrs. Dave? I know--Doctor Dave's mother. Calling someone "mother" sounds more authoritative, and boy is this woman all sorts of authority. Actually, she's all sorts of bitch. Much more freely hating the world around her than Joann.<br />
<br />
Apparently, Doctor Dave "forgot" that his mother was supposed to be staying by his condo for a few days, and happened to "forget" to tell Lois, who's internally raging because now she has to let this old bag stay in her house infecting everything with her raw negativity. Meanwhile, Doctor Dave's mother scoops an unhealthy amount of sugar into her iced tea, yet it's still much too bitter. Much like herself. Ha. Clever, writers.<br />
<br />
Lois and Doctor Dave approach Doctor Dave's mother, who just insists for Lois to call her "mom." And, oh, my poor retinas! They burn! Kill it! Kill that crusty, geriatric muscle spasm!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg17886Lfl1AW4JcBnDA8i82KKeGv9EFKkRpZEDVHhIQwPEQVgRpcQo3xbd5qZmj6pP2xQQ0ZwS03uCHOJp-nyfl-_JD6_-j38lFJmErL853UTfw05yhFEf6RQi65cmHSVE7kZhLLKY6IQ/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg17886Lfl1AW4JcBnDA8i82KKeGv9EFKkRpZEDVHhIQwPEQVgRpcQo3xbd5qZmj6pP2xQQ0ZwS03uCHOJp-nyfl-_JD6_-j38lFJmErL853UTfw05yhFEf6RQi65cmHSVE7kZhLLKY6IQ/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Now I know why she never smiles.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
So, they make the arrangement that Doctor Dave will stay in Carl's room, and Doctor Dave's hideous mother will stay in Ginger's room. Doctor Dave even actually pays Carl to stay in his room--anything to keep the peace between Lois and Satan's cancerous mole.<br />
<br />
During a scavenger hunt, Ginger hallucinates running into Sasha in an old barn, and ends up almost kissing a frog one of the little girls found.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGbscP4fBwZHLQ_kZCrhlpM5O19hyphenhyphenEDD-Ta3gkYeSy1pCilGLjUosFjuzldhETr99ZvBXUf5ug8HRaJ2-fMQhmOr3mi2U49Jc2QOIA-oNXk2stOO3dsw0zOQftvYLs0P9mpgt0Oqec3zI/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGbscP4fBwZHLQ_kZCrhlpM5O19hyphenhyphenEDD-Ta3gkYeSy1pCilGLjUosFjuzldhETr99ZvBXUf5ug8HRaJ2-fMQhmOr3mi2U49Jc2QOIA-oNXk2stOO3dsw0zOQftvYLs0P9mpgt0Oqec3zI/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do people actually do this? Imagine themselves kissing a crush and actually making duckface with the air?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
And then Ginger goes and does the thing. That's right, she tells Dodie about her problems. Naturally, Dodie is insulted when she finds out that Ginger told Courtney before her, but that's irrelevant here. Dodie's wonderful words of wisdom lead Ginger into thinking she doesn't want to date Darren anymore because she wants to be with Sasha.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMitm24VrvxPglBVldVEQayU-4oU_VkCdHqC26wjLrcohSqqF4JaA3dSsrnyQy70KX8qn3d6Yz6YtvU7d5hANlRpPt-LOxe0FDr01AOIDqDxSPF6_RRWK-Y0MBNQDBe8kXHArrjOoVFsI/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMitm24VrvxPglBVldVEQayU-4oU_VkCdHqC26wjLrcohSqqF4JaA3dSsrnyQy70KX8qn3d6Yz6YtvU7d5hANlRpPt-LOxe0FDr01AOIDqDxSPF6_RRWK-Y0MBNQDBe8kXHArrjOoVFsI/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dodie thinks about Courtney a lot. That must mean that Dodie wants to date Courtney! Is that a joke? You decide.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
And thus, Ginger becomes extremely confused and guilty and ashamed all at the same time. I like Courtney's vague advice better. Hell, I like Courtney better.<br />
<br />
Carl and Hoodsey get their air conditioner, run the extension cords all the way to a random outlet in the Gripling yard in a tree (?), and boom! Ice-cold air at last. Surely, this isn't going to last.<br />
<br />
At least Macie has the sense to give Ginger real advice--give Darren a call. And then someone launches a piece of paper at a tree with an arrow. Ginger reads it, and finds out Sasha wants to meet by the lake during the afternoon assembly. So it wasn't a hallucination after all! Sasha <i>is </i>here. Thunder strikes, to which Ginger replies, "And the gods are not happy about it," which is probably the first and only time Nickelodeon will allow the forbidden word "God" on their network. You know, I'll never truly understand why talk of religion is so taboo on mainstream kids shows. I'm atheist, and even I think it's ridiculous how so many shows sneak around it like a sleeping guard dog whose chain is detached.<br />
<br />
Back in Sheltered Shrubs, the power suddenly goes out, so Lois and Doctor Dave go out for ice cream. I guess Protected Pines houses each have their own generator or something because Carl's AC is still running.<br />
<br />
Ginger sneaks off to the lake while Courtney puts the girls through a fashion show. And then Sasha trots up on his black horse. Nice entrance, I guess?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span><!--more--></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJHZAHk9vMCu9HoOdlTMQ7TzoPN-Irl3ufudZVS6N0SqcmqIusXzDvLi8_RdDHUWENKFuOaHXPzv4Owu06d-t323Kd8Ns-Mrm1lCchqGm_aF_qmtl0VVOoyWDHz0I6728s_Es73f_c2vE/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJHZAHk9vMCu9HoOdlTMQ7TzoPN-Irl3ufudZVS6N0SqcmqIusXzDvLi8_RdDHUWENKFuOaHXPzv4Owu06d-t323Kd8Ns-Mrm1lCchqGm_aF_qmtl0VVOoyWDHz0I6728s_Es73f_c2vE/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
So, after Sasha descends from the glorious animal, Ginger blurts out that she has a boyfriend. Sasha's like, "Okay? I have a girlfriend." And then Ginger gets all confused, as she thought Sasha was going to pull her into his arms and have wild, steamy camp sex with her right then and there. No, but really, Sasha gets really confused because he just wanted to say hi, leaving Ginger stone cold humiliated.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGpN_xHhLsZV5zrw3CE0HC4AHTckQ2V1Sov83Ee59bVYKXrofjENGTJFZG5ElGEy3ID_rSIAHZvDKTHgnrCsljLWL2NPU3A6EJCGkTUZnMe5tcO-IfghMG0pHqYdKX-tout-KMjD7GcvY/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGpN_xHhLsZV5zrw3CE0HC4AHTckQ2V1Sov83Ee59bVYKXrofjENGTJFZG5ElGEy3ID_rSIAHZvDKTHgnrCsljLWL2NPU3A6EJCGkTUZnMe5tcO-IfghMG0pHqYdKX-tout-KMjD7GcvY/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I wanted to crawl into a hole." - Ginger's voiceover.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Okay, I have a few things to say about this. First of all, you guys know I don't like Sasha because he's a tool who would fit right in on a dadly dad's garage wall with all the screwdrivers and hammers. Sasha isn't one who's straightforward--he always seems to be playing games with Ginger and beating around the bush, like when he took forever to tell Ginger that he was dating Clover. So, if I was Ginger, I would think shooting a piece of paper at a tree with an arrow telling her to meet him at a specific time and location would mean his intentions are more than platonic, too. I mean, if Sasha just wanted to say hi, why didn't he do so when he spotted Ginger in the woods (or, rather, when she spotted him?) He couldn't just wave and shout, "'Sup, Ginger? How's camp?" and then scurry on his way? What's the point of meeting her in a secret, quiet location away from other people just to say hello? Maybe he wanted to show her his horse?<br />
<br />
Or let's say that Sasha just wanted to meet up with Ginger and talk for a few minutes. I'm sure there is some designated down time for the camp leaders, so why couldn't Sasha just meet up with Ginger then, instead of pulling her away from her group during an important meeting? It just doesn't make sense.<br />
<br />
Secondly, what exactly <i>was </i>Ginger thinking? She sneaked away from her group and met up with Sasha, assuming he wanted to date her. That means that Ginger was willing to cheat on Darren. What a bitch!<br />
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<br />
Honestly, though, Ginger was just confused. I don't really fault her, then again, maybe I should because she took "advice" from Dodie. As her voiceover comes on, she basically reiterates what I had said earlier--Ginger didn't want Sasha; she wanted the exciting, spark of romance that came when she met him, and the elation, newness, and all the other fun emotions she felt when she developed a crush on him. That's actually a very mature, deep lesson that's crucial to healthy relationships. I really like how this scene showed how there's not a black and white (I want to date him/I don't want to date him) distinction between emotions. Rather, it asks, "I'm not sure--do I have feelings for him or not?" It definitely humanizes Ginger more, not to mention makes her more relatable. I know I've had my share of questionable crushes over the years, only to realize that it's not them I want, but the<i> idea</i> of them. That's probably why I understand Ginger's situation so well.<br />
<br />
At least she admitted Dodie was wrong. That was bodacious.<br />
<br />
So, from this humiliating moment, Ginger realizes that the spark between her and Darren was there all along, and it took almost rubbing bodies with a douche for her to see that. Or, her extreme guilt for what I call mentally cheating made her appreciate Darren even more.<br />
<br />
In the doghouse, Doctor Dave's mother, Carl, and Hoodsey play a rousing game of poker, until it's discovered that Doctor Dave's mother slipped an extra king into the deck to win the game. Well, it's technically not known who did, but I think it's safe to assume it was her. Hoodsey calls her out on it, but she kicks him out of the doghouse, wrestles him to the ground, and bites his ear. <i>WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOjd8jLjgSRmpnWEDGI9GSiRveLQcAiUblpgKLe3kiUYqmeCdqwW649PBW4NRPnPwl9Z0kLrGM26Rj57kqF7KxxRwEK1S2WQx1QuqMvPSW0IsVQ6ktW2T5Dc2RU4L509206Cb36KxAFis/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOjd8jLjgSRmpnWEDGI9GSiRveLQcAiUblpgKLe3kiUYqmeCdqwW649PBW4NRPnPwl9Z0kLrGM26Rj57kqF7KxxRwEK1S2WQx1QuqMvPSW0IsVQ6ktW2T5Dc2RU4L509206Cb36KxAFis/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The longer you stare, the weirder it gets.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Doctor Dave's mother is about as one-dimensional as a character can get, but this scene is clearly just done for shock value. I can buy that she's a total bitch. I can also buy that she hates Lois for no reason (only because Joann somehow hates her, too). But you cannot just pass this psychotic test subject asylum escapee off as a "monster-in-law." No. I draw the line at wrestling an 11-year-old to the ground and biting his ear over a game of poker. This shit sounds like something straight out of <i>The Onion. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>So, Ginger's group ends up winning the trophies for being the "most spirited." I guess constantly singing that damn song over and over and over qualifies as spirit. Why am I not surprised? That night, as the girls sing a much more tolerable camp song around a toasty fire, Ginger sneaks off once again, this time to make a phone call to Darren.<br />
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Darren answers the phone, much to Ginger's relief. And then they probably have phone sex or something so Ginger can forget Sasha ever existed.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>sometimes you don't actually want to date an ex or an old crush--you just want to experience the emotions that come with a new romance; never take any advice from Dodie, unless it involves knocking her into a cavernous cactus patch; don't let crazy old bags into your doghouse.<br />
<br /></div><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-53903301702685372652015-06-28T16:11:00.003-04:002022-10-22T11:19:14.294-04:00Season 3, Episodes 47-48: "Butterflies Are Free"For those of you who have just graduated from wherever you graduated from, congratulations! And may you all be successful in whatever you choose to do. Unless what you choose to do involves being a katana-wielding mass murderer, then please don't be successful.<br />
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So, it's finally here--Ginger is graduating from Lucky Junior High, along with her shitty friends and obsessive boyfriend. Carl is moving on up to the junior high school, ready to walk in Ginger's shadow. So much is happening, so much has <i>yet </i>to happen, and we are almost 80% through the series.<br />
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After this episode and a few summer dilemmas, Ginger and friends will be in high school until the end of the series, which is about 10 episodes away, ending with "The Wedding Frame" TV movie. By then, I will have finished this blog. But that won't be until mid-September. So, don't worry; I may almost be done, but there's still plenty more drama to see. If you haven't seen the high school episodes yet, be warned. There is a lot more drama and many more changes ahead--some for the better, some for the worse. I'll let you decide.<br />
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For some reason, the high school episodes never aired in the United States. I didn't even know they existed until a few years ago. I thank the Internet. I read somewhere that Nickelodeon found these episodes "too dark" for the network, but that's a load of horseshit. The high school episodes are more drama-heavy than the junior high episodes, but they're not that bad. In that case, <i>Avatar: The Last Airbender </i>and its spin-off, <i>The Legend of Korra </i>wouldn't have ever made it onto the channel. So, I don't know what happened.<br />
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But enough of the rant. Let's start the review.<br />
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Ginger wakes up from a dream (which is strangely portrayed as a nightmare) that all her friends ignore her as they walk out of the classroom doors, and then they close one by one. You'd think after all the crap Ginger has been put through, she'd be happy that her subconscious is able to create such a Dodie, Macie, and Darren-free utopia. Except, Courtney is in the dream too, and shouldn't be walking out on Ginger. She deserves to be by Ginger's side in high school.<br />
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Anyway, Lois comes into Ginger's room to pull her lazy ass out of bed. Ginger expresses her concerns about graduating while Lois attempts to comfort her by lying about how awesome high school is going to be. Okay, I may be in the minority when I say that I liked high school, but I know most people hate it for good reasons, so Lois really shouldn't be getting Ginger's hopes up like this.<br />
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Carl and Hoodsey don tuxedos that are clearly too big for them to meet up with Blake and Higsby in the Griplingmobile (why didn't I call it that a long time ago?!) so they can all exchange stuff they stole or took for blackmail or personal desires... you know, as a goodbye to Lucky Elementary and a chance to start fresh with newer, rawer blackmail in junior high.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: start;"><span>Why did they dress up in the first place? Blake and Higsby are wearing their normal clothes.</span></span></td></tr>
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So, Gripling gives back Carl's petrified eyeball, Carl gives back Blake's tonsils, Hoodsey gives back Mr. Licorice's tooth, and Higsby forks over a picture of him and Hoodsey doin' it on a bicycle. *Shudders*<br />
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Hold on a second--maybe it's just my poor memory, but didn't Carl already get his eyeball back in a previous episode? Correct me if I'm wrong.<br />
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Ms. Zorski delivers a cookie-cutter speech to the class before escorting everyone across the street to the high school for orientation. Wait, don't incoming freshmen attend orientation during the summer? It doesn't make sense to pull them out of school to tour the high school before they even graduated. Whatever. Ms. Zorski pulls Ginger aside and asks if she can deliver a close-out speech during graduation. Okay, first of all, isn't that the valedictorian's job? And second, why does she keep asking Ginger to make speeches? Just because she's a good writer doesn't mean she's a good speaker. Ginger cannot be the only decent writer in the school. Either that, or Zorski's playing favorites. Not cool.<br />
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Naturally, Dodie explodes in a sparkly, colorful bliss as soon as her feet touch the same ground the high school rests on. Because it's <i>high school! </i><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Forget Disneyworld--for Dodie, high school is the happiest place on Earth.</td></tr>
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She squeals and squees and coos with glee, until Miranda passes her and tells her that her flamboyant love-affair with the building is going to get her bitch-ass stuffed into lockers on a daily basis. At least Dodie has two functioning brain cells to realize that Miranda might be right. So she shuts up.<br />
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Darren encourages Ginger to write the speech, but Ginger is so obviously nervous about graduating that she nearly kills the nerves in Darren's hand from squeezing it so tight.<br />
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During orientation, the principal goes over school rules and protocols for the fresh meat. They sound like standard rules to me, but the deer-in-headlights expression everyone gives makes it seem like these kids have never been exposed to real authority before. <i>"Oh, my God. Rules! Minimum requirements! Eeek!"</i> I blame Milty for this.<br />
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Macie expresses her fears about high school, leading to Ginger and Dodie jumping in to give her pre-support. Apparently, Macie is caught off-guard by this and is like, "I'm in high school now; I don't need you two coming to my rescue anymore." Damn, Macie, way to show some backbone! Ten points for Lightfoot!<br />
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Back at the elementary school, Mr. Hepper gives the class a jazz lesson that no one appears to be interested in, especially Hoodsey. But Mr. Hepper's like, "Das cool, das cool." Is there anything that's not cool to him? I'm not hating, just curious. Anyway, he gives the class their end-of-the-year assignment: bury a time capsule. Idiot Higsby mistakes a "capsule" for a vitamin capsule, and Carl's too engrossed in his floating eyeball to even care. How does Mr. Hepper even allow that thing to be in the classroom? And when he requests that each student bury an item that represents the childhood they're leaving behind, Carl gets the idea to bury his eyeball. Really? Really, Carl? After all this time, you finally have that nasty thing back, and you want to bury it and never see it again? It's like if someone finally got back together with their ex they haven't seen in years, only to dump them a few hours later. Carl's going to be a major heartbreaker.<br />
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The students take a tour of the high school in small groups. Ginger's group stops by the student council club, and the members immediately recognize Ginger as the girl who got the fellowship to Avalanche Arts. Why am I not surprised they know this? Courtney plays wingman for Ginger as she talks her up to the high schoolers and it seriously looks like she's about to push her onto the desk behind her and kiss her.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXAypvk9Tzmy7erWPaTizLsV78CkqHhh9BwheO-wILQVIqqxDhaLpBYvnYevdKhjrvaFr6CY7973WxOJZ2a-2ae-QM7kXtAEflttDOZdvVkenAYL1MiKzsdoUuOOq4Z6ljF3otGq-ogNA/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXAypvk9Tzmy7erWPaTizLsV78CkqHhh9BwheO-wILQVIqqxDhaLpBYvnYevdKhjrvaFr6CY7973WxOJZ2a-2ae-QM7kXtAEflttDOZdvVkenAYL1MiKzsdoUuOOq4Z6ljF3otGq-ogNA/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Come on, Nickelodeon. There is no way you can pawn this off as a platonic gesture.</td></tr>
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The junior high kids watch the high school band class play a song that vaguely sounds like the <i>As Told By Ginger </i>theme. Miranda mentions to Macie that some saxophone player with a lazy eye is totally checking her out.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"You're right. His one good eye is all over me." - Macie</td></tr>
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The music teacher turns around and starts telling the junior high kids all about band, and my God, this guy is more flamboyant than Higsby. He actually pulls stars out of his pocket and tosses them at the school mascot, Chewy the goat, on the other side of the room. I don't do drugs, but I felt like I was tripping on some kind of Sheltered Shrubs acid when this happened because this was so out of place for this kind of show.<br />
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What is it with this gay band teacher stereotype? I mean, it's always something in the performing arts, like dance, band, or theatre. When have you ever heard of a TV show with a gay science teacher, for instance?<br />
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Chet and Darren try out for football. Who would have guessed? The coach recognizes Darren as Will's brother, who is also on the football team. As the coach gives Darren a Will-inspired noogie, Darren mentions that he doesn't even give a crap about football. Why the hell is he trying out, then?<br />
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The scene then cuts over to the cheerleaders doing some suggestive moves, and Dodie is watching with admiration. Ha! Like Dodie would ever be cheerleader. In the Nickelodeon world, cheerleading is synonymous with popularity. But it's also synonymous with bitchiness. Actually, now that I think of it, Dodie might have a chance. Unfortunately for her, the coach, who acts like she has a six-foot pole up her ass, tells her that no freshman has ever made the squad. Like <i>ever. </i>But Dodie is welcome to try out, probably so the upperclassmen have someone to create rumors about in the locker rooms.<br />
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Courtney walks through the hall alone, on the phone with her mama, when two upperclassmen corner her in the hall and knock her phone out of her hand. Then, they shove her into a locker. Why? Because she's rich, I guess. Jealous bitches.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I was really hoping they'd do this to Dodie.</td></tr>
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Oh, poor Courtney. She doesn't deserve this. First Chantel and Andrea from the pool party episode, and now this. High school girls really seem to hate her. I can sort of get why they'd be a bit jealous of her, but this kind of behavior is just uncalled for. Courtney did nothing to them, or anyone else. I feel bad for her.<br />
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The junior high kids return to their own school. Ginger opens up her locker and pulls off a picture of her and Darren, revealing a heart with Ginger + Ian inside, an obvious continuity nod. This is really interesting because if you watch the show straight through, you realize that Ginger's crush on Ian was a major part of season 1, and now that Ginger is dating Darren, it's a memory for both us and Ginger. You may think, "Why didn't Ginger take that heart down after her crush on Ian ended?" Unless she etched it into her locker door (which I highly doubt goody-two-shoes Ginger would do), I suppose it's for visual storytelling. I think it's super neat.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Wow. That was, like, <i>ages </i>ago." - Ginger</td></tr>
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Miranda slithers up to the trio in the hallway and mentions that Courtney is missing. She assumes that Courtney met up with a couple of horny guys without her, and leaves in a huff. Strangely, even if Courtney wasn't stuck in that locker, my first thought would not be that she's with boys. Think about it: have you ever seen Courtney talking to any guy on the show, besides Will? She's supposedly straight, but maybe she's actually bisexual. I know I make a ton of jokes about Courtney being gay for Ginger, but now that I think about it, she might--in actuality--swing for both teams. A bold move for Nickelodeon, I must say. I can only think of one other bisexual character in the Nickelodeon world--Korra from <i>The Legend of Korra. </i>Except Courtney's bisexuality is hinted at by fans, but Korra's is explicitly stated by the show's creators.<br />
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Claire calls the police when she realizes Courtney is missing, and soon, search parties are formed to find her. Instead of at least attempting to find Courtney, the trio decides to talk about Macie's new eye candy instead. The scene then cuts to the guy rummaging through his locker for a new reed. Courtney hears him near, and calls out to him for help, promising to be his wingman for a girl of his choosing if he helps her down. Boy, isn't that convenient! I wonder who he's going to pick...<br />
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Hoodsey's got a bit of beef with Carl, who hasn't told Noelle that he's totally digging Polly now. Understandable--Noelle is weird in an adorable way. Polly, I believe, seriously has something wrong with her. The three meet up at a mini-golf course and Carl tries to get Polly's advice on what to put in the time capsule, since he's on the fence about putting his petrified eyeball in. And then Polly does this:<br />
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<br />
Yeeeeeah, that's disturbing. Though I'm surprised she didn't actually shove the golf balls up her vag and push them out like real eggs.<br />
<br />
Surprisingly, Polly gives Carl some good advice--he has such an obsession with the eyeball that he's allowing it to control him. Carl denies it, but Polly insists that he's going to have to let it go. I can see it--Carl is probably worried that if he lets go of his prized eyeball, he might eventually have to give up who he is--a strange, twisted child. Perhaps that's why I still have a strong affinity for stuffed animals. My Appa plush, triceratops plush, and tiny fuzzy penguin all sit on my bed with me all the time. Basically, Carl is just afraid to grow up.<br />
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Meanwhile, Noelle watches the three from the back, loathing the untrustworthy Polly with every fiber in her being. When is she going to do some telekinetic stuff again? I miss that.<br />
<br />
So, the guy rescues Courtney from the locker, and Courtney tells her story to the press, embellishing a few details here and there (more like <i>every </i>detail). She's probably too embarrassed to admit that some people actually don't like her and will actually try to hurt her. At least she gives credit to the guy who rescued her, who reveals his name as Andrew.<br />
<br />
Ginger expresses her discomfort with all of these new changes to Lois, who gives her the same advice that she takes when dieting. Basically, it's just to allow yourself to experience the change because even though things may seem good where they are, down the line, life will be better with the changes. I seriously love these mother-daughter talks. Every time Lois and Ginger have a moment, I feel like I'm learning something new that I've always known before.<br />
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Back in the junior high school, we're introduced to a one-off character, Leandra.<br />
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Leandra's voice actor is actually played by a girl named Leandra Argyros, a fan of the show, who had a bone marrow illness. As part of the Make-A-Wish<i> </i>foundation, she wished she could be a character on <i>As Told By Ginger. </i>So, here she is. She has only a few sentences of dialogue about positive thinking, but at least her mouth is in the correct position on her face.<br />
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Dodie runs off to bother Leandra with her stupid new cheer moves and Macie runs off to make googly eyes with Andrew, leaving Ginger all alone in the hallway.<br />
<br />
It's the day Mr. Hepper's class buries their prized, dollar-store possessions in the time capsule. He makes a speech before everyone places their items inside, one by one, desperately hoping Polly is right.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwx16ItfEmYqYR-0om1qCMhEQW6tvDgqpd7Z9LTyuUpu3qQ6zR6FEzv9j_hu5hsnym-ZEA9yIGfqZycbDsakGMDSrgr4VS20L9UXnsokA3VUIY5uyHnnwOXsADMLd6dJ3Hy3sqSA0iMJo/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwx16ItfEmYqYR-0om1qCMhEQW6tvDgqpd7Z9LTyuUpu3qQ6zR6FEzv9j_hu5hsnym-ZEA9yIGfqZycbDsakGMDSrgr4VS20L9UXnsokA3VUIY5uyHnnwOXsADMLd6dJ3Hy3sqSA0iMJo/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"This is sick. Sick, sick, sick." - Hoodsey</td></tr>
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The trio gets their class schedules and decides to open them together. Wait, hold on... gotta add this face to my collection of "Ugly Dodie Faces:"<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjwmjPjEllKXMsB7bswVVO755V9gv7UWesEwelJvxLhSB4-jTitZi7g3hbdzhefLYzkw2RFRDEmF4DWO59_ebwKojs803SYwUTVWsUTHfXjnhGgzkikuIh3yMfgm9MCCHj9ZZAMC-yi68/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjwmjPjEllKXMsB7bswVVO755V9gv7UWesEwelJvxLhSB4-jTitZi7g3hbdzhefLYzkw2RFRDEmF4DWO59_ebwKojs803SYwUTVWsUTHfXjnhGgzkikuIh3yMfgm9MCCHj9ZZAMC-yi68/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How are the animators not laughing their asses off when they draw these faces?</td></tr>
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Darren joins in the revelries, too. Unfortunately, they're not in any classes together. Totally distressing! They turn to the admin and request that she moves around 200 other students' schedules to place them all in the same exact classes, but the admin lady's like, "Tough shit. Get used to the real world, kiddos." Harsh, lady. Give these kids a break. Though her advice is pretty sound; too bad they won't appreciate it until they're in college.<br />
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This is really bizarre. The universe is trying to do whatever it can to keep these fools away from each other for the good of the show, but Ginger and her friends insist on staying together. Well, looks like the universe will win this time, because the admin lady isn't about to go rearrange their schedules just do they can settle into high school easily. Did you girls think high school would be a basket of fluffy kittens?<br />
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Ginger becomes so pissed and stressed over all the changes that she storms out of the school with an attitude. If she thinks life is moving too fast now, wait until she hits college graduation and can't find a job for six months.<br />
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Carl visits the hospital with a bouquet of flowers for Lois as a symbol of his maturity. However, his temptation for mischief is getting to him. Carl is trying so hard to grow up that he's beginning to lose himself. He even yells at Hoodsey for stealing an empty wheelchair and taking it for a joyride, something he would have killed for the first season. But this won't last long. This is Carl Foutley. And if there's one thing I learned about guys, it's that they never grow up, they just get bigger. And grow some facial hair. <br />
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Doctor Dave invites the boys to the cafeteria for dinner for some scrumptious leftover mystery meat and sugarless Jell-O. Carl's heart nearly melts when Lois says she's proud of him. Though I'm pretty sure she's just relieved that he didn't sneak into the operating room and steal a patient's ruptured appendix. Oh, and Doctor Dave is lovin' Carl's lime Jell-O inside a baked potato.<br />
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While Ginger struggles to write her speech at the park, she falls asleep and has some fucked up dreams. Except Dodie gets nailed in the face with a football. Boo-yah!<br />
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Jonas's dog, Ben, licks Ginger awake, and he runs off to chase some squirrels while Jonas and Ginger have a talk about graduation. I'm surprised he's actually going to show up. Ginger tells Jonas how she doesn't want to go to high school and leave her dorky friends behind, but then Jonas makes a point of how it's not healthy to hold on to something that's destined to fly away, and he does this by squeezing a poor, defenseless butterfly into the palm of his hand. Dick. No, the butterfly is fine, but his point is that Ginger has to let go of her fears if she ever has any chance of moving forward and making better friends.<br />
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Jonas also tells Ginger about a legend that if you tell a wish to a butterfly, it'll carry the wish up to the sky and a spirit will grant it. Really? That's something you tell a child who's 4, not 14. I know it's supposed to be a nice gesture, but come on. This is what happens when you're a deadbeat dad; you're so out of the loop in your kids' lives that you don't even know how old they are.<br />
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So, Ginger makes a wish and sets the butterfly free. Hopefully, she wished for Dodie to be transferred to military school.<br />
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That night, Carl has a nightmare about him and Hoodsey growing old as balls, and that Polly bulldozes the doghouse down. And that's the kicker that he has to return to his old, weird self again.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjftUNCvzbjJXGu14WjEhVTQ4W2m1JldMprKieNQgqpYCDkcz8ehnyFhIed6vVPzaUNbvEUiTY9BAMxGjuq7R7rv_zYt9hLxGShU3pWQNGp0Q8Jfs7N-QaJOWQU_ngB8-M644W4n4t0wP4/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjftUNCvzbjJXGu14WjEhVTQ4W2m1JldMprKieNQgqpYCDkcz8ehnyFhIed6vVPzaUNbvEUiTY9BAMxGjuq7R7rv_zYt9hLxGShU3pWQNGp0Q8Jfs7N-QaJOWQU_ngB8-M644W4n4t0wP4/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nickelodeon always portrays growing old as boring, dull, and something to avoid. Perhaps they should watch <i>The Golden Girls.</i></td></tr>
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So, Carl and Hoodsey bike to the school to dig up the time capsule. Polly is already there, though, digging it up so she can steal everyone's stuff. Seriously, what a creepy girl. Higsby and Blake come by to dig up their possessions as well. How no security guards ever caught them on school property at midnight is beyond me. <br />
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The really sad moment of this scene is when Noelle rides by on a box scooter, looks over the hill at Carl, cries, and pulls off her little Carl finger puppet she's had for so long. It flies off in his direction as Noelle rides away, heartbroken as ever. Oh, poor girl.<br />
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I sincerely feel bad for Noelle. She truly does care for Carl, and now it's like she has given up on him completely. However, if Noelle knew that Polly was so dishonest, a "snake" as she put it, she should have told Carl before he got close with Polly. Sigh... is it so bad that I want Carl and Noelle to get back together, and want Ginger and Darren to break up?<br />
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Holy hell in Helsinki, how did Lois lose all that weight that fast?! She was obese a few scenes ago! And how can I steal her secrets?!<br />
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<br />
Ehh, I say the same thing every episode of <i>The Biggest Loser </i>and <i>Extreme Weight Loss. </i>Regardless of how many diet pills she took and meals she skipped, she looks fantastic! I'm glad that Lois lost all that weight, though it probably would have made more of an impact if those extra 50+ pounds were causing her health to suffer. And it also would have been more realistic if her diet was an ongoing thing over the course of at lest 6 or 7 episodes. Ah, it doesn't matter.<br />
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It's the day of graduation, and everyone is in high spirits. Ginger and Dodie hug, and <i>oooh, </i>check out the super sassy Macie!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loving the hair. Loving the contact lenses. Loving the confidence. Go, Macie!</td></tr>
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Macie then sees her piece of beef and waves to him, knocking Dodie over the way the football did in Ginger's dream. Oh, sweet, sweet karma!<br />
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So, Ginger apologizes to Darren, he promises to be by her side at all times, gives her a tiny flower, and the ceremony begins. Oh, hey, look--Mipsy's wearing an eyepatch! Nice continuity nod from when she deservedly got nailed in the eye!<br />
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And Jonas actually did show up at a school function! Does this mean we're supposed to accept him as a doting father now? Ginger begins her speech about how everyone came to Lucky Junior High as puberty-stricken weirdos who couldn't figure out how to conduct themselves in public and are now leaving as butterflies. Then, she opens up a cardboard box, releasing hundreds of colorful, pretty butterflies. Hence, butterflies are free--literally and figuratively.<br />
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And Mipsy falls backwards in her chair trying to catch a butterfly. Clumsy ditz.<br />
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And thus, the students are now junior high graduates with diplomas on their way in the mail.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Don't let her get too far away from me, okay?" - Lois</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Right before the credits roll, scenes from previous episodes play to close out Ginger, Dodie, Macie, and Darren's descent from Lucky Junior High. Congratulations, Luckians!<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>the longer you try to hold on to something, the harder it will be to let it go; don't grow up too fast; never trust Polly Schuster.<br />
<br /></div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-63204313469611538652015-06-21T20:06:00.002-04:002022-10-22T11:25:33.702-04:00Season 3, Episode 46: "About Face"Yay, another Joann-focused episode! I've been waiting for this episode for you don't even know how long. Granted, I just started this review Sunday afternoon, but hey, I posted it on time, Sunday night--New York time, that is.<br />
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Dodie walks into the kitchen and overhears her nightmare coming true--Joann Bishop was just hired to teach home economics at Lucky Junior High.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTOx2-QC1zoNfNTTlHyskhrd_U0PA4zGsSm028e7AoWaNQkNtTu8bksIa1ZPgbEPDK0ejc8g5izsIKh_Kv25YTA6cv5v9rW3NamDC8kEPd8M10kGzTa_bPrtKznnff2A2YOvzVODh4tEY/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTOx2-QC1zoNfNTTlHyskhrd_U0PA4zGsSm028e7AoWaNQkNtTu8bksIa1ZPgbEPDK0ejc8g5izsIKh_Kv25YTA6cv5v9rW3NamDC8kEPd8M10kGzTa_bPrtKznnff2A2YOvzVODh4tEY/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I totally get how Dodie feels--Joann is <i>so </i>not fit to be around children.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /><div>
This is another trope in children's shows I particularly like, mainly because--depending on the parent's personality--there can be a rainbow of options of how this plot would play out. One that particularly comes to mind is on that one episode of <i>Sister Sister, </i>"Cafeteria Lady,"<i> </i>when Lisa became the lunch lady at Tia and Tamera's school. Now, Lisa is inherently awesome, and her being at high school made her a hit with the kids, except Tia. The point is, having a parent within 100 feet of your school is bound to be embarrassing for many kids. But in Dodie's case, she's embarrassing enough.<br />
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Heck, even Dodie says Joann isn't fit to be around kids. Now that she's acknowledged that, I can safely have some sympathy for Joann. That's right--how awful must her luck be that a child-hating woman like her can only find work that involves molding the minds of hundreds of children? And Dodie?<br />
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Dodie's biggest worry is that Joann's crabbiness will be showcased in public daylight, permanently knocking Dodie's position down on the social ladder from a nobody to a nobody with Joann for a mother. Jeez, now it's getting kind of hard to <i>not </i>sympathize with Dodie. I would hope she could redeem herself as a decent member of society in high school--maybe this is just the kind of one-shot motivation she needs.<br />
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Carl and Doctor Dave go jewelry shopping for a big ole rock for Lois. Yup--Doctor Dave is planning on proposing to Lois. How sweet! Hey, this is the first instance of Carl without Hoodsey attached to him! At least, I think it is.<br />
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Meanwhile, Blake paces back and forth mumbling something about Carl while ogling an undeveloped photo of Carl posing like a cheeky teenage girl. That's it--Blake has the hots for Carl. There, I said it.<br />
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Come on, I know we were all thinking this throughout the series. Even if it's not explicitly stated, both of the Gripling kids seemed to have an infatuation for the Foutley kids for the past 45 episodes. Courtney was (and still is) gay for Ginger, and Blake is totally gay for Carl. Seriously, if Blake truly does hate Carl like he keeps saying he does, he wouldn't have photos of him everywhere in an exposure room while staring at those pictures and muttering his name over and over again. This is <i>so </i>not about getting revenge.<br />
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Doctor Dave practices his proposal on Carl. Naturally, the ring gets stuck on Carl's finger. After Doctor Dave puts down a truckload of cash for the ring, they drive home, and Doctor Dave confesses that his mother and Lois have to meet, and he's pessimistic of how that's going to go down. Oh, the monster-in-law! Is it really that prevalent in real life? It seems like every TV show I encounter, the mother-in-law despises her son's lady of choice. *Cough*Everybody Loves Raymond*Cough*<br />
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So, Dodie is about to leave for school with Joann and WHAT IS SHE WEARING?!<br />
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Okay, this is a classic case of Joann trying to relive her youth as "Josie." The woman is 40 years old--just like that hairstyle. Not only that, but Joann is supposed to be going back as a <i>teacher</i>, not a student. The administration would (and should) not allow Joann to come to work dressed like that. I'm curious as to where she got those clothes--are they Dodie's? Are they hers from the 80s? Or did she raid a thrift store in the middle of the night? Actually, I don't think I want to know.<br />
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Joann plans to hang with cool cats Courtney and Miranda, much to Dodie's horror. If they don't want Dodie breathing the same air as them, what makes Joann think they'll want <i>her</i> near them?<br />
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Carl shows off the ring to everyone in school. Even Blake is impressed with Carl's choice of ring for Noelle, but becomes very suspicious when Carl mentions it's not for Noelle. You caught him, Gripling, it's actually for Polly. Carl just can't stop thinking about how sweet those macadamia nuts mixed with Polly's sweet, sweet saliva tasted in his mouth. No, I'm not going to let that go.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji-PZveWH65M-W94PSQess09v71vFc1buRekMNkltmT0ZAy6KNOxuiTyRASuNFcZjZKdTTx9ngNmdyblO0Sn-IzhvWVw7npgh9voUlJVilD1S-XAEHjnJiR4By9Y0GQU9YmywPG2d8N5g/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji-PZveWH65M-W94PSQess09v71vFc1buRekMNkltmT0ZAy6KNOxuiTyRASuNFcZjZKdTTx9ngNmdyblO0Sn-IzhvWVw7npgh9voUlJVilD1S-XAEHjnJiR4By9Y0GQU9YmywPG2d8N5g/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Does Blake usually carry that magnifying lens wherever he goes?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Through the vents, Ginger and Macie hear "a middle-aged goat being slaughtered and tortured." except it turns out to be Joann's "laughing." Like mother, like daughter. Dodie's summoning of epileptic gypsies may have been scary, but Joann's sounds are what you would hear on a midnight tour of an abandoned mental asylum.<br />
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The other girls all look like they regret making Joann express an emotion much joyous.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Maybe this is why Joann is such a neurotic bitch all the time--her happiness terrifies children.</td></tr>
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Of course, Dodie mistakes Joann's desperation to fit in with a bunch of 13-year-olds as her <i>actually</i> fitting in with said 13-year-olds. She speculates that Joann must have been a total Courtney at her age. Anything to justify that Dodie deserves popularity, I guess. Of course, Ginger, Darren, and Macie are the only ones who see that Joann is just as much of a loser as Dodie is. But maybe not as much--Courtney and the gang at least allow Joann to sit with them.<br />
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But seriously, though. Joann shouldn't even be allowed to sit in the same cafeteria as the students. She should be scarfing down whole wheat sandwiches in the teachers' lounge. Where's Milty when you need--ah, who am I kidding? Milty is useless.<br />
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Blake sneaks over to Noelle's school and shows her a picture of Carl and Polly dressed up as birds, enraging Noelle, just as Blake planned it. I'm actually glad he used a more child-appropriate picture. If he used that macadamia nut picture instead, Noelle would probably rip Carl's lips off with her telekinesis. Blake even mentions the engagement ring and how it's specifically not for Noelle--and Noelle becomes seriously hurt, despite the fact that she doesn't think getting married at 10 is icky. Blake, you're a dick.<br />
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So, Doctor Dave asks Lois if it's okay if he invites his mother over for dinner. Lois is like, "Yeah, definitely."<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixRLHnbXy8S2S_BvzMRxueVZSEntZpGCdn_irGh6g69U9WHF3g5my9IjmMtjFRKkeQjzYLu0MdGXgO0TjY2qK8nru075_Rn8r0ACx85sH6vhDjDXgmK-OA45AGP85YeVAD4cbPQQ6Vtmg/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixRLHnbXy8S2S_BvzMRxueVZSEntZpGCdn_irGh6g69U9WHF3g5my9IjmMtjFRKkeQjzYLu0MdGXgO0TjY2qK8nru075_Rn8r0ACx85sH6vhDjDXgmK-OA45AGP85YeVAD4cbPQQ6Vtmg/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"She competes for blood supply and in doing so, sucks the life out of her host." - Doctor Dave<br />
"Who does? Your mother?" - Lois<br />
"Eh-heh. No, silly. The, uh, the fibroid in room 213." - Doctor Dave<br />
"Oh, heh-heh. Thank goodness. You scared me there for a minute." - Lois</td></tr>
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I'm guessing that's an indirect warning to hide all the sharp objects in the house very well. So Doctor Dave's mother won't accidentally hurt herself, of course!<br />
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Speaking of the blood-sucker...<br />
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Dodie chases after Joann so she can be driven home from school, but Joann has other plans, like watching Miranda suck at the clarinet and helping Mipsy deep-condition her hair. Yeeeeah, I'm pretty sure no parent would allow their daughter to have their hair deep-conditioned by some 40-year-old woman dressed like a teenager unless they were in a licensed salon. How is Dodie supposed to get home, now? Is she supposed to walk? How irresponsible of Joann to just leave her daughter at school like that. Dodie gets so pissed that her reaction is surprisingly subtle. If Joann keeps this up, how long is it going to take before Joann invites herself over to Ian Richton's house for a "study" session? Hmm, what would Mr. Bishop would have to say about this?<br />
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In Ginger's journal, she writes about "Josie" and how she's totally ignoring her parental duties, and that she's--no joke--<br />
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<b>"a backstabbing, social-climbing, popularity-obsessed wannabe." </b><br />
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Oh. OHHHH! If that's how Ginger describes <i>"Josie," </i>how does she describe <i>Dodie</i>? Because there is no description that even the best writer to ever grace the Earth could string together that could plainly describe Dodie better than that. Is Ginger in complete denial? I really should stop asking that because it's obvious Ginger is like Helen Keller when it comes to the truth about Dodie. But what I don't understand is <i>why</i> the writers make Ginger so oblivious. I have my theories, but I really want to ask Emily Kapnek, and anyone else involved in the storyboarding.<br />
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And for Ginger to worry that Dodie could end up like "Josie," instead of realizing that she almost <i>is </i>Josie, well, there's no hope for Ginger ever breaking off this so-called friendship.<br />
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While Hoodsey and Mr. Bishop make dinner, Mr. Bishop straight-up tells Hoodsey not to tell Joann that they enjoyed making dinner because, "You know how she feels about fun." Ha! I nearly bust an artery laughing. Dodie comes in and starts complaining about how Joann is getting a shitload of attention from the popular girls and asks her father if she was always like that. This prompts Mr. Bishop to get out his old middle school yearbook from under various Playboy magazines and old tax forms and show Dodie the real Josie--Josie McDonald, "Miss Popularity", and Joann,"Missed Popularity." I like that "Missed Popularity" was even a category. No wonder Joann has such shoddy self-esteem.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"She looks just like you, Dodie." - Hoodsey</td></tr>
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I can understand why Dodie is the way she is. I mean, I figured Dodie's social stunting was all due to Joann, and I also figured that Joann wasn't exactly "popular" herself, but knowing that Joann was just like Dodie is both relieving and horrific. Relieving because we now have a source of Dodie's behavior. Horrific for obvious reasons.<br />
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But now I wonder why Joann was that way. Was her mother also obsessed with popularity? Was there a family line of desperate wannabes sucking at the teat of popularity since the stone age?<br />
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Mr. Bishop tells Dodie about how Joann would backstab all her friends and grovel at the feet of those worthy of positive attention, much to Dodie's disappointment. Gee, I wonder why Mr. Bishop married her. And I wonder if he had a friend like Carl at his age. Anyway, he gives his kids some very practical advice--in order to avoid Joann's lunacy (yes, he actually said "lunacy"), "If you don't learn to accept yourself now, you many never learn to accept yourself at all." Take very detailed notes, Dodie.<br />
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The popular girls arrive at Ginger's house to discuss "Josie" and how she's like a stray hair constantly tickling your arm making you think it's a spider. Ginger tells them that they need to tell Dodie, not her. Meanwhile, Noelle stakes out the Foutley house and tapes the incriminating picture of Carl and Polly on her forehead.<br />
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Mrs. Dave has done nothing but sputter out insults since arriving to the Foutley house, and it's making Lois very irritated. Say something, Doctor Dave! Just because she's your mother, it doesn't mean you have to stay quiet. Honestly, I really don't understand how Mrs. Dave can be so comfortable bitching at people she doesn't even know. Like, why is she so rude?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE7zwNj8SQ1FcSZO5WX9DVhd1GqjlbP92TXYDXjL1SnDXJPzpVzqF0ZVS18yhSLXAO_uBQWyw5fhMjXRn9Km59Cw_Px7oRk3it8LBdLO8DaPgswSlAyynfXdcNG4rwSlabDbtiq0e3ubs/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE7zwNj8SQ1FcSZO5WX9DVhd1GqjlbP92TXYDXjL1SnDXJPzpVzqF0ZVS18yhSLXAO_uBQWyw5fhMjXRn9Km59Cw_Px7oRk3it8LBdLO8DaPgswSlAyynfXdcNG4rwSlabDbtiq0e3ubs/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Keep it up with the insults and I'll dip you into the deep fryer."</i></td></tr>
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The girls all go to Dodie's house. Instead of confronting "Josie" like they should be, they decide to run their message through to Dodie. I don't get it--if the popular girls tell "Josie" that she's not cool, Joann will believe them. Why would she believe Dodie, especially since she blew her off at school? Whatever. To get Dodie's attention, Courtney tosses a pebble at Dodie's bedroom window, but it bounces off and hits Mipsy right in the eye. Hahaha! <i>And </i>it starts to bleed! BAHAHAHA! Finally, someone I hate gets revenge! I love how none of her friends seem to care that she's hurt, either.<br />
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I can watch this GIF for hours and still have the same satisfaction every single loop. Now, let's see if I can find one to hit Dodie with purposely. The best part is that Courtney finds throwing pebbles at windows so much fun, she throws another one. And it hits Mipsy again! Oh, happy day! You honestly have no idea how happy this makes me. I've been waiting for something like this to happen (mostly to Dodie), so I'll take what I can get.<br />
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Dodie goes over to her window to see what all the commotion is about, and spots the popular girls all standing outside her window. Dodie practically has a heart attack, but then pulls back the reigns remembering what Mr. Bishop had told her earlier. That's surprising. When Dodie comes down, Courtney tells her that Joann is cramping their style, and Dodie's like, "Yeah, I know." Then, the girls leave, and Dodie tells Ginger that she's glad she stood up to the popular girls. Say what? How exactly did you "stand up" to them? They just told you to tell your mother to stop hanging out with them. What did you accomplish? Not having a giant popularity-induced orgasm right in front of them?<br />
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So, Dodie confronts Joann, who surprisingly takes Dodie's criticism well. So, no more "Josie." I...I guess that's a step-up for Dodie. Woo-hoo?<br />
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When Ginger goes back home for dinner, she reiterates the past five minutes, minus Mipsy taking a pebble to the eye. The biscuits in the oven burn and blacken, causing Lois to open the door to air out the kitchen. You know, the house doesn't have to be full of black smoke for food to start burning in the oven. Anyway, Noelle uses this opportunity to roll into the kitchen with her awesome moves.<br />
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Noelle ruins Doctor Dave's surprise engagement by pulling off Carl's glove, exposing the engagement ring he was going to give to Lois. Doctor Dave stands up and says that he was the one who bought the ring, but for a moment, Lois takes it as Doctor Dave buying an engagement ring for Carl, which is really sick if you think about it too long. But then, he confesses it's for Lois, and proposes to her on the spot.<br />
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But we don't get to hear Lois's answer because the scene cuts off to allow for a cliffhanger ending. And the episode ends--but not without a special credit roll. Doctor Dave and Lois sing a duet of what I can only assume is an original song called "Diamonds Are Expensive" while their silhouettes dance in the background. The song could be an homage to James Bond's "Diamonds Are Forever," sung by Shirley Bassey. I think this is a nice touch, and an original way to end the episode. Not only that, Doctor Dave's got a hell of a voice! Listen to that smooth, manly voice. Mmm.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>Dodie will never be cool, as she even said so; if you're in your 40s and have children, don't dress and act like your children; Blake has a knack for making anybody surge into a jealous rage.<br />
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<br /></div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-81420367329878208392015-06-14T16:06:00.001-04:002022-10-23T09:16:16.084-04:00Season 3, Episode 45: "The Easter Ham"A whole episode dedicated to the psychotic meltdowns of Joann <i>and </i>Dodie Bishop? <i>And </i>I get to bash them all I want? This isn't Easter... it's Christmas!<br />
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Whoa, whoa, wait. Ginger actually made up with these stooges?! Holy circus balls--either Dodie is a secret God-level manipulator to form the exact words to make up with Ginger, or Ginger is the biggest pushover to have ever been pushed out into this world. My goodness, I was really hoping this episode would open with Ginger and Courtney exchanging friendship bracelets while behind them, Dodie, Macie, Mipsy, and Miranda are hauled off in the back of a truck heading to the Cuckoo Cedars Mental Asylum.<br />
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Whatever, man. Friends forever. I get it, Nickelodeon. Anyway, the trio talks about an upcoming episode of some shitty soap opera while they wait for Darren to haul his ass out of class to walk them to Ginger's house. Dodie starts complaining that they're going to miss the show, and for some reason she thinks this is a good idea after she begged for Ginger's forgiveness and acceptance of Darren being part of the group he was already a part of. You know, for the last 44 episodes. Unbelievable.<br />
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Ginger tells Dodie straight up that if she doesn't want to wait, to go on without her, but of course Dodie wouldn't <i>dream</i> of cutting the cord between her and her precious Ginger, even for five minutes.<br />
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Courtney calls Ginger over and tells her that the birthday party Ginger is planning for Darren is a buzz around Lucky Junior High, and that everyone will be there. She (and Miranda) put a large amount of pressure on Ginger to make sure this party is totally groovy, and then Courtney makes Miranda say goodbye to Ginger as she's training her to be nicer. Ha! Courtney offers Ginger a ride home, but naturally turns down the offer. And then Courtney and Miranda drive away. Freaking Dodie looks like a puppy trying to restrain herself from chasing after a giant sausage.<br />
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So, Darren finally arrives, and they go home.<br />
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Okay, so, what's the "good little boy" trying to do this time?<br />
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Oh, I see. It's another one of Carl's money-making ideas. Hoodsey is totally repulsed by Higsby's candy-coated singing, but all Carl can hear is the sound of his bank account filling with sweet, sweet money. Despite the fact that Higsby's over-the-top performance is raking in some killer lunch money, Hoodsey tells him to tone it down several notches. But Higsby ain't having it. It's either flamboyant, embarrassing dances, or nothing. So, he quits. Well, I give him points for having dignity.<br />
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After they finish watching their soap opera, they have a discussion about the show and how screwed up it was for Lucinda to jump out of a window.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoKcDIfHVhQflEUrL94VgkfkF4T10u0-lhTFehtpbZqalvVq2KhKm2YvZlp9Em4S3cLhxgzsTfcp8ULO8zqYkc7l8LbI04Ky_TGGsxaBD9tXC26EbLBZo9R5GWUYegFWXggoWenv9_TFk/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoKcDIfHVhQflEUrL94VgkfkF4T10u0-lhTFehtpbZqalvVq2KhKm2YvZlp9Em4S3cLhxgzsTfcp8ULO8zqYkc7l8LbI04Ky_TGGsxaBD9tXC26EbLBZo9R5GWUYegFWXggoWenv9_TFk/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"People on soap operas have very slow reaction times." - Macie</td></tr>
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And then Ginger kicks Darren out so the trio can continue planning his party. What's the use? He's just going to climb through Ginger's window and sneak a peek at the plans when Ginger isn't looking. Anyway, Dodie nearly has a heart attack over the fact that the popular kids will be in the same house as her for hours (willingly). And then they discuss party favors. And bunny poop. And that conversation transitions to Hoodsey in a bunny suit doing Higsby's job. Oh, God. I actually prefer Higsby to this train wreck.<br />
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Sometime later, Lois takes the girls grocery shopping for the party. She turns around for one second to look at 30% off Rice-a-Roni or some crap, and Carl rolls the cart down the aisle while talking to Hoodsey on his walkie-talkie, who is only a few feet away from him. He ends up slamming into Joann's cart, and the boys have a big, jolly laugh about it.<br />
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Lois apologizes to Joann, and then heads for the lone ham sitting in the refrigerator. Oh, but look--Joann's trying to nab it as well. Oh, the hilarity! I love this trope--my favorite version is the episode of <i>Dexter's Laboratory </i>when Dexter's mom gets into a fight with another housewife at the supermarket over the last pair of latex gloves. I think it's called "Mom's Rival." They actually showed blood, too. Well, it was a tiny drop, but still--<i>blood from violence on a kids' show. </i>This trope also reminds me of that recent viral video of the two trashy women wrestling in a Wal-Mart. Except Lois and Joann actually have the decency not to tell their sons to punch each other's mothers.<br />
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Suddenly, Joann starts complaining of a pain in her arm and that she can't breathe. Lois calls Joann out on faking a heart attack over a damn ham, but it turns out her symptoms are real because Joann collapses to the floor.<br />
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Joann is taken to the hospital immediately. There, Lois and the kids await the news. Doctor Dave comes out and pulls Lois aside. He says Joann will be okay, but she may have some kind of heart problem that he wants to explore further. So, he tells Lois that Joann will need to avoid stress as much as possible. Wait, why is he telling this to Lois? Where's Mr. Bishop? He should be there to take this news. I'm going to assume he's on his way, but for the sake of television, it's strange that he wasn't there. Or, maybe Mr. Bishop just doesn't give a shit.<br />
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Lois tells Doctor Dave that it's impossible for Joann to avoid stress because she <i>is </i>stress, and then Joann walks out of her hospital room (presumably having heard their entire conversation) and tells Lois that she's going to eliminate stress by eliminating the cause of it: she forbids the Bishops from having any contact with the Foutleys. Everyone's like, "What the hell?!" But Joann is serious, as she's a "poor, dying woman." Give me a break. You're not dying. If you were, you certainly wouldn't have the energy to physically pull Dodie and Hoodsey away from the Foutleys.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFrwPsY-DSfGTnZcoCxBSegRVE1ag0lO-zcpb60bLWv-LyyMog2t0iLrTbBxcPInjl3HQnxgXuFa-voHmDpE7jXFtKsKVJSnouBfKSpmRzst1bEQtGZj7P7xXok-ytBKEcR1G9Z8shskU/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFrwPsY-DSfGTnZcoCxBSegRVE1ag0lO-zcpb60bLWv-LyyMog2t0iLrTbBxcPInjl3HQnxgXuFa-voHmDpE7jXFtKsKVJSnouBfKSpmRzst1bEQtGZj7P7xXok-ytBKEcR1G9Z8shskU/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Like mother, like daughter. Self-victimizing drama queens.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
So now, Ginger has a dilemma. Since Dodie is banned from having contact with Ginger, she's obviously banned from Darren's birthday party (since Darren is part of the Foutleys, I guess because he and Ginger are dating. I don't know). And now Ginger can't decide whether to cancel Darren's party or throw it without her.<br />
<br />
OH MY FUCKING GOD.<br />
<br />
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. After all the shit Dodie has put you through, after all the begging and pleading Dodie had to do to get you to accept her back as a friend, are you seriously telling me that you can't throw a party for your boyfriend because DODIE WON'T BE THERE? Nevermind the fact that it's Dodie. If you were throwing a party for <i>anyone, </i>you would consider canceling it because one person (besides the person you're throwing the party for) isn't going to be there?!<br />
<br />
No. We are not doing this. This is not up for discussion.<br />
<br />
Carl contacts Hoodsey despite Joann's ban (when has he ever followed the rules?) and tells Hoodsey to sneak out and meet him at the doghouse tomorrow morning to make more baskets. Hoodsey is too much of a chicken shit to risk being caught by Joann, who is 100% embellishing the severity of her heart condition. Carl tries to convince him otherwise, but it's no use.<br />
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<br />
You know, Hoodsey being a momma's boy isn't a new realization. It's just that this scene (especially when Hoodsey shakes the batteries out of the walkie-talkie) really shows how much control Joann has over her son. Dodie, too, but it's much more severe in Hoodsey's case. The problem is just how tightly wound Joann has Hoodsey wrapped around her finger. Hoodsey never feels rebellious. He never wants to challenge Joann's authority no matter how ridiculous her rules are.<br />
<br />
Remember in "Lunatic Lake" when Hoodsey asked Joann if Carl could come on the trip, and when she said no, he asked his father instead? He knows his dad will say yes, so he used his father's approval of Carl to get Joann to (regrettably) approve of him coming along. Now, I'm not saying that Hoodsey has to be a little rebellious thug and defy the rules, but it's not normal for him to not even <i>want </i>to sneak out. I mean, if Hoodsey was like, "I really wish I could, Carl, but my mom would kill me" or even, "My mom is being totally ridiculous. I wish I can convince her otherwise," then I can understand. Instead, he robotically takes Joann's orders without question, even going so far as voluntarily cutting contact with Carl.<br />
<br />
It's not normal behavior. I fear the effect Joann has on her kids. They're not going to grow up as well-adjusted adults.<br />
<br />
Macie comes over to Dodie's house to tell her that Ginger isn't going to cancel the party after all (hallelujah, the girl has brains!), and then Dodie freaks out. Like, "How could she possibly have a party without <i>ME?!</i>" Macie tells her that it is Darren's party after all, and you'd think Dodie would think for a second and say, "You know, Ginger's right." But this is a Bishop spawn we're talking about. No sense is found, except in the case of Mr. Bishop.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijVn4mljwhhIWqkRwqh27G6cLy2EjY-5eYB9kmTuIYVbuyKt8tTDw5NRfW7uOYmQ6WyDVtbYst2BkfWRFBBdWIvjN1o3hUOvf0m1nc0_mjLUxIQo-IXdR8X7pIJ2D3EUhj1hmBn2pWiSQ/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijVn4mljwhhIWqkRwqh27G6cLy2EjY-5eYB9kmTuIYVbuyKt8tTDw5NRfW7uOYmQ6WyDVtbYst2BkfWRFBBdWIvjN1o3hUOvf0m1nc0_mjLUxIQo-IXdR8X7pIJ2D3EUhj1hmBn2pWiSQ/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Come on--we all know Dodie only wants to go to that party to rub up against the popular kids. Literally, Do you think she honestly cares it's Darren's birthday?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
If Dodie was normal, I could understand she'd be upset about not being allowed to go to her friend's birthday party, but we all know Dodie's hidden agenda. She tries to hide it by making it about "friendship," and tells Macie to tell Ginger that if she's still willing to be friends with Dodie, she will cancel the party. Fuck you, Dodie.<br />
<br />
While Hoodsey waits on his drama queen mother hand-and-foot, the doorbell rings. He answers it, and it's Carl dressed in a mustachioed disguise. It actually suits him quite well.<br />
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<br />
Again, Carl tries to bust Hoodsey out of the house, but Hoodsey's umbilical cord is still firmly attached to Joann. It's really sad that Hoodsey is fully-convinced that Joann's heart problems are wholly caused by Carl. Joann has brainwashed him. Joann makes herself stressed--sure, Carl may be a nuisance but if one ten-year-old kid can cause so much distress to one woman, then the problem is <i>mental</i>, not physical. And neither Joann, Carl, nor Hoodsey see this. I guess that's why it's so easy for Hoodsey to just decide to end a several year-long friendship with Carl. Oh, my God. Am I going to have to add Hoodsey to my list of characters I hate to this show? I thought Ginger had no backbone, like in "Cry Wolf," but this? This is pathetic.<br />
<br />
It's like a broken relationship, and Hoodsey wasn't committed to it as much as Carl was. I don't think Carl was really Hoodsey's friend in the first place.<br />
<br />
Man, 45 episodes in, and I'm starting to think this entire show is <i>The Twilight Zone </i>of Nickelodeon. It's supposed to mimic real-life drama, but all I've uncovered is false friendships and undiscovered mental disorders in the entire cast. <i>As Told By Ginger </i>is a cutesy show on the outside, but looking deep, there's something severely wrong with everybody.<br />
<br />
Higsby passes by Carl to rub his new Easter basket-delivering business in his face, but Carl tells him to fuck off.<br />
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<br />
Ginger calls Courtney for an unbiased opinion because she's still up in the air about whether to cancel the party. Courtney doesn't beat around the bush for one second to tell Ginger that if she cancels the party because Dodie can't come, she's an idiot.<br />
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<br />
But Ginger's all like, "But I'll feel so disloyal," and then Courtney says, "This is Darren's party. You shouldn't put your over-dramatic friend's feelings over your doting boyfriend's." And that is absolutely true. See, Courtney may be a snob, she may be mean sometimes, but she is--without a doubt--the smartest character on the show next to Lois. And I can't help but to transcribe these fabulous next lines:<br />
<br />
<b>Ginger: </b>But it feels like a stab at Dodie.<br />
<b>Courtney: </b>Dodie's a big girl. And she stabbed you in the back once before, if my memory serves.<br />
<b>Ginger: </b>I guess.<br />
<br />
It's funny how Courtney says that Dodie is a "big girl," as if she realizes Dodie has the mental stability to handle being ignored and/or shunned by Ginger. Dodie won't understand. And Ginger constantly kowtowing to Dodie to make her happy all the time isn't helping. Like I said: Dodie needs psychological help. And I think Ginger might too if her traitor, backstabbing best friend not being able to attend her boyfriend's party is considered a "disaster." God damn it. I can't. I seriously can't with this episode.<br />
<br />
Dodie waits for Darren in the park so she can ask him to ask Ginger to cancel the party. Why am I not fucking surprised?! Clearly, Darren is insulted (as he should be!) and says that Ginger already feels like shit that her bitch ass won't be there, but Dodie doesn't care. She <i>craves </i>the schlong of popularity so bad that if she can't have it, no one can. This is how psychos are made, people. Darren tries to be understanding of how Dodie feels, and tries his damned best to lay down the logic of why canceling the party is absurd as all hell, but cannot--for the life of him--hold back anymore. Dodie says that since he and Ginger started dating, Ginger doesn't care about her anymore. If she doesn't care about you, Dodie, why is she so conflicted--ugh, no. I'm not doing this anymore.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Anyway, Darren calls Dodie out on her bullshit, and the truth literally leaves her speechless, for about three seconds.<br />
<div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfYpgw8YR-TzqOxOfJdseJN6sX8vO4lzK0ms4JBcT2T9JZhyphenhyphenuQIszBHaZuExLdBoQ47ddSsJetW0opSTQ1mn2t4-wSnoc7NHSOyQe3IuwDNbA5HXjU4Hz-4JHbhdGEzKoYrEopqfOEOII/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfYpgw8YR-TzqOxOfJdseJN6sX8vO4lzK0ms4JBcT2T9JZhyphenhyphenuQIszBHaZuExLdBoQ47ddSsJetW0opSTQ1mn2t4-wSnoc7NHSOyQe3IuwDNbA5HXjU4Hz-4JHbhdGEzKoYrEopqfOEOII/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's the face of a selfish bitch unable to handle the truth.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
And then Dodie rides off, crying her signature, annoying "ooh-ee-ooh" until she's off-camera.<br />
<br />
You did well, Darren. You could have thrown a little more edge into that truth serum, but you delivered, and that's all that matters.<br />
<br />
Carl enlists Lois as the new bunny dancer, but Lois ends up quitting when Doctor Dave shows up with Joann's test results: an espohageal (hiatal) hernia. In other words, her heart is just fine. In the physical sense, anyway. So, Lois has Doctor Dave rush over to the Bishops' to give Joann some truth serum of her own and end this family feud. Mwahaha!<br />
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On his bike ride home, Darren runs into Higsby, who gives him an idea for some reason. He rushes over to Ginger's house and announces that, like Higsby starting his own Easter singing business by doing it himself, Darren suggests that they should be the ones to get Dodie to the party. What? No!!! They're rewarding Dodie's behavior by sneaking her out and giving her what she wants! NO!!<br />
<br />
Just look! Look at how pathetic Dodie is that she will never become popular now!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGY2DJVFGQ3ElLlIN0YtWBr22RIx9dc5MnyzV4l10vHoSiOdPoU9UlZu9mgPXaxqFdQJFKRlDFA-nBQUoR_VcmcxIzsPLYj6J2bj0SEz6gW9yQ828R1sosb7mLD3ooh8yQ9sAbV7UKUxs/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGY2DJVFGQ3ElLlIN0YtWBr22RIx9dc5MnyzV4l10vHoSiOdPoU9UlZu9mgPXaxqFdQJFKRlDFA-nBQUoR_VcmcxIzsPLYj6J2bj0SEz6gW9yQ828R1sosb7mLD3ooh8yQ9sAbV7UKUxs/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dodie's a "big girl," huh, Courtney?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Lois and Doctor Dave go give Joann the news, and she's "relieved." Pshh. She may be relieved it's nothing serious, but she's pissed that she now doesn't have an excuse to keep her kids away from the Foutleys. Though it would be for the better if she did. Lois apologizes for causing any kind of stress for Joann, and hopes she could end the feud since it's technically not fair to the kids. So, Joann agrees. And Dodie's allowed back at the party. Everyone's happy. Woo.<br />
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<br />
Woo, Dodie gets to go to the party and gets undeserved attention. What else is new?<br />
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<br />
Woo, Joann and Lois make up as if nothing was ever between them. Woo for being fake.<br />
<br />
<br />
Seriously, fuck this episode.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>With enough bitching and crying and moaning, you can get whatever you want; friends support friends and <i>never </i>leave them no matter how badly they screw you over; I hate this episode<br />
<br /></div><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-33069677124042752922015-06-07T18:42:00.003-04:002022-10-23T09:17:29.892-04:00Season 3, Episode 44, "Wicked Game"All right, here we go. I'm just going to leap right into this train wreck of an episode.<br />
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Dodie has a dream that the radio announces Ginger's return from Avalanche Arts. And what do you know? She wakes up, and the day is actually here.<br />
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<div>
While Dodie and Macie plan out their welcome home hug, Mipsy and Miranda plan out their sarcastic welcome home jeer. Don't those bitches have a fat girl to trip down the stairs or something? It's bad enough Dodie is going to spread her cooties all over Ginger again, but Mipsy and Miranda aren't even just spiteful and pathetic anymore. They're fucking annoying as hell. </div>
<div>
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<div>
It turns out, nobody gets to do any cheering or jeering because Ginger is too busy walking with her new boyfriend, Darren, to notice. It's about time Ginger started ignoring them. It's what she should have done a long time ago. Oh, well. I'll take what I can get.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzhpl7GV_HBhPv43VZmYyDUQsTkPzZD7c82uSGdLFk5BWpQNVhsyv_a3hu0lkx9miA5cfwos56cdRn6_ygEUoNbbyEMREqtaF76BlpjrAO4DQ4fwGUxF9zpQS9u7yhIai2t99ZYBtsKy8/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzhpl7GV_HBhPv43VZmYyDUQsTkPzZD7c82uSGdLFk5BWpQNVhsyv_a3hu0lkx9miA5cfwos56cdRn6_ygEUoNbbyEMREqtaF76BlpjrAO4DQ4fwGUxF9zpQS9u7yhIai2t99ZYBtsKy8/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's too bad she reverted back to her old 'do. I liked that blue streak.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div><br /></div><div>
In the auditorium, Ginger (and Darren) meet up with Dodie and Macie. They awkwardly hug and say hello, because Ginger has herself some permanent arm candy now. Hmm, I don't know what it is about this episode. It seems a bit off. I know that it's an awful episode, but it's a different kind of off. Like, the mood is different. As Ginger is called up on stage, Miranda and Mipsy continue to call out to Ginger, but she still ignores them. Yes! But honestly, why are these bitches so obsessed with getting Ginger's attention? So she can get a dirty look from them? A sarcastic hello? Oooh, <i>so intimidating! </i>There really needs to be an episode where they get hit by a car and get amnesia, and then turn into decent people. Or, alternatively, they can just get hit by a car. Either would work nicely.</div>
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<div>
Noelle has a solitaire showdown (or whatever that game is) with Polly Schuster, an annoying fuck who constantly makes bird noises, kind of like Ms. Fowl from <i>Jimmy Neutron</i>, only Polly is more irritating. I remember Polly very clearly--she's in future episodes, and I'm <i>so </i>not looking forward to her scenes. She's like the female version of Higsby, except angry all the time instead of peppy. </div>
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Anyway, Noelle loses. </div>
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<div>
She's already wagered a shoe, her belt, and now her glasses. And then she takes on Polly again and wagers Carl, of all things. And then she loses. <i>What the hell?!</i> How could you wager your own boyfriend? Especially considering you suck at cards?</div>
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<div>
Okay, so Carl is now apparently property of Polly, and she's planning on dressing him up like a bird to play "Pirate World." </div>
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<div>
? ! ? ? ! ? </div>
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<div>
This is the strangest sub-plot I've ever seen. I suppose there's a first time for everything, so when I say this, I say this out of confidence that the writers were just having an off day: PLEASE let's just go back to Ginger's plot.</div>
<div>
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<div>
Okay, so Ginger goes up on stage and talks about her time at Avalanche Arts, which is kind of unnecessary if you ask me. I mean, I understand Avalanche Arts was a big deal and all, and no doubt Ginger has some contacts and nice stuff to put on her resume, but does Ginger's experiences there really warrant a big, hour-long assembly? And why is Darren up on stage with her?<br />
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Miranda and Mipsy continue to grow jealous over Ginger ignoring their bitchy asses for once, but the more Ginger ignores them, the more annoying they become. <i>"Did you see that?" </i>Yes, Miranda, she called on someone else. Get over yourself. By the way, where's Courtney? And why aren't you snuggling up next to her like you wanted?<br />
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<div>
So, Miranda and Mipsy form a plan to get Ginger to notice them just enough so that they can continue talking shit to her, and they decide to enroll Dodie and Macie into their plan. Now, now, haven't you two learned from experience that trying to mess with Ginger's life only makes her stronger? Of course not. You weren't even talented enough to get into Avalanche Arts.</div>
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<div>
After the commercial break, Courtney leaps up onto the stage at lunch and talks more about Ginger and Avalanche Arts. Holy hell, enough with this already. Even Ginger is starting to get sick of all this praise. She didn't find the cure to cancer, people; she just went to a fancy school for a semester. Anyway, Dodie and Macie are relieved to finally get a few seconds alone with Ginger so they can talk to her about the last few months, but Dodie doesn't even get a second in edge-wise before Darren shows up, "ruining" their girl time.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV24bfKdhst3xcoNzvf63IXkQqO61So25BjWvezbhBnSkzLYW8V8Am0SXmV47OIDo-kqgk1p7u6FsFaJBtMS7L7CBps_wdu5VXTd4gqebCScF0Wa8PzBqc8uvYoOnm9vjDGBM6CkIq3jU/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV24bfKdhst3xcoNzvf63IXkQqO61So25BjWvezbhBnSkzLYW8V8Am0SXmV47OIDo-kqgk1p7u6FsFaJBtMS7L7CBps_wdu5VXTd4gqebCScF0Wa8PzBqc8uvYoOnm9vjDGBM6CkIq3jU/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The face of 100% raw, organic jealousy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
All right, for the second time in the series <i>ever,</i> I kind of sympathize with Dodie here. I understand she just wants to be alone with Ginger and Macie and just revert back to old times. I also understand how frustrating it must be to now be the third wheel in this friendship. It's uncomfortable. It's irritating. It's like having a piece of seaweed constantly getting wedged between your toes at the beach after kicking it off for the umpteenth time. She doesn't hate Darren; she just hates having to share Ginger's attention. But what bothers me is that Ginger isn't necessarily doing anything wrong, either. It's her first relationship--she's bound to be unfairly balancing time between Darren and her friends. She really should fix that. Dodie is overreacting, though. Not that it's any surprise.<br />
<br />
Ginger clearly notices Dodie's oncoming rage, so she promises that the three of them--and only them--will talk after school. No Darren allowed. So, Dodie's like, "Fine, okay," leading to a very awkward lunch period. I find it kind of fucked up that Darren just sits there. He knows that Dodie doesn't want him there at the moment, so why doesn't he offer to leave to let them have their time together? Now, I don't want you to think that I'm siding with Dodie, but it would have been courteous for Darren to offer to give the girls some alone time. It's just common courtesy. Or, why didn't Ginger just ask Darren to leave? Just because they're dating now, it doesn't mean they have to hound each other like horny dogs every free period they have. They're only in eighth grade, for Pete's sake.<br />
<br />
Carl asks for Hoodsey's advice on how to deal with Polly Schuster. Hoodsey suggests breaking up with Noelle so that he won't be Polly's property anymore, though Carl doesn't think it'll work. <i>I </i>don't think it'll work. Who knows what this cuckoo Polly chick is capable of? Or, better yet, who knows what <i>Blake Gripling</i> is capable of?<br />
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<span><!--more--></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaOWjhqgd7EU44nGDB49V-8M4g0cWKcvXkOdcOpiKFdcaTJPF1KYiDo1ikGwexhBG9AhxSGnWpBrS8USyJCwMwsYslJn-ZHzs57ia75vwAZkk9qwHd8coEolXCzh90BTWUO1jSptp_pSk/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaOWjhqgd7EU44nGDB49V-8M4g0cWKcvXkOdcOpiKFdcaTJPF1KYiDo1ikGwexhBG9AhxSGnWpBrS8USyJCwMwsYslJn-ZHzs57ia75vwAZkk9qwHd8coEolXCzh90BTWUO1jSptp_pSk/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Dodie seems to be in a better mood now that Darren is away jacking off to a photo of Ginger in his room. But, right as they start the conversation, Darren pops in! Surprise, surprise. He promises he'll be gone once he gets their advice on what gooey, mushy phrase he wants to write on his high tops for his "undying love for Ginger." Ick.<br />
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Was this really necessary, Darren? I mean, the idea itself is totally puke-worthy ("Undying love?" Preteens!), but you couldn't have waited until after they left to do this? Dodie gets more pissed off to the point where she flat-out insults Darren, but Ginger snubs her to gently scrape Darren off her window so she can get back to their girl talk. But their goodbyes turns into that irritating couples' phone call cliche (you know, "You hang up first. No, <i>you </i>hang up first") except they're like "You say goodbye first." "No, you". So, Dodie leaves in a huff. I really hate sympathizing with Dodie. Honest to <i>Little Seal Girl</i>, I do. Maybe it's just because I don't really like Darren anymore, either, and he knows that he wasn't supposed to be here. It's just disrespectful. But she didn't have to storm out like a baby.<br />
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Dodie stomps all the way home, muttering something about how Darren is totally encroaching on her "friendship" and "territory." Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the phone. You don't <i>own </i>Ginger, Dodie. I mean, yeah, Darren is disrespecting your alone time with Ginger, but you're not the only one who is entitled to Ginger's attention. You're starting to become just like Miranda. I guess that's why it's easy for you to be pulled into Miranda and Mipsy's plan to break Ginger and Darren up when you spot the beasts literally on your doorstep.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip3mWGVPGpum76SeGjDYx6doBAiknd6AzIAtupR3eHGPmajREJiIQgf0-Rblh2XY6AJ1mfAkqzp4kubv1lHfNwY91d29eizZ3PvYCO8EJlbr3uZwFsMITAF9AxGdDluL8BXFDK9AF4oRE/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip3mWGVPGpum76SeGjDYx6doBAiknd6AzIAtupR3eHGPmajREJiIQgf0-Rblh2XY6AJ1mfAkqzp4kubv1lHfNwY91d29eizZ3PvYCO8EJlbr3uZwFsMITAF9AxGdDluL8BXFDK9AF4oRE/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">As long as you're doing it to salvage your crooked friendship, it's totally okay to ruin your best friend's first relationship.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
I don't understand why Dodie and Miranda aren't friends by now. They both have the same personality. In that case, why were Ginger and Miranda never friends?<br />
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The next day at school, Dodie, Miranda, and Mipsy try to brainwash Macie into joining their brigade to mess up Ginger's life. Damn, why do I feel like I'm watching <i>Mean Girls</i>? Macie is naturally hesitant, but Mipsy convinces her otherwise. Meanwhile, Courtney overhears the whole thing from the other side of the bathroom door. The girls try to convince her that they're just bullshitting around, but even Courtney isn't that stupid. She knows Miranda and Mipsy wouldn't be caught dead talking to those so-called losers, so she carefully listens in to their plan, and she doesn't like what she's hearing. But she does it anyway.<br />
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Blake is onto Carl and his plans to be one with the birds with cuckoo Polly, and he makes this knowledge very clear. Savage!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPlQFNUJo30iMrY3DYUIIK_vBMGg3iR1c551BVvAwtCfJZKn1rWaQioaevPF2YIuljK-h8jPFeWzjf2GKGCso6HAjETaghapjTyraj_FErLAxX41TwruINeRSSRUWwNDhc5QCNaEwjkE4/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPlQFNUJo30iMrY3DYUIIK_vBMGg3iR1c551BVvAwtCfJZKn1rWaQioaevPF2YIuljK-h8jPFeWzjf2GKGCso6HAjETaghapjTyraj_FErLAxX41TwruINeRSSRUWwNDhc5QCNaEwjkE4/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You know, I just noticed that Blake is Nickelodeon's Draco Malfoy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Miranda gives Darren an uncomfortable boner when she tries to seduce him in the hallway. She even calls him her schmoo-baca. Where is she coming up with these goofy nicknames? In the cafeteria, Dodie and Macie wait for Darren to come close so that they can loudly talk about how Ginger and Fred were totally boning at Avalanche Arts. Unsurprisingly, it makes Darren jealous. When Ginger comes back to the table, he tells her what Miranda is doing to him, but Ginger just tells him not to pay attention to her because Miranda is slime. But for some reason, Darren takes this logic as Ginger believing that no one else could possibly find Darren attractive. So, Darren gets upset, tells Ginger that her and Fred's relationship was probably the bee's knees, and storms out of the cafeteria.<br />
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The next part of Janis Ian's--I mean Mipsy and Miranda's--plan is for Dodie to call Fred pretending to be Ginger, asking him to call her when he gets the chance. Macie is especially uncomfortable stabbing Ginger in the back, but Miranda assures her the feeling will wear off after she does it a hundred or so times. Oh, my God. This girl, man. I really feel like I shouldn't be surprised by anything Miranda says, but then she comes back around and utters something to make me hate her more. She legitimately enjoys hurting people. And yet she wants to cuddle up to Courtney? Doesn't seem like she's all that interested anymore. All that time when Courtney was by herself, Miranda could have licked her shoes right then and there. I think being closer to Courtney was just an excuse Miranda came up with so that she'd have an explainable reason to stoop so low. Not that it's justified, of course.<br />
<br />
So, Dodie reluctantly calls Fred and leaves him a message to call back in a surprisingly convincing Ginger voice. Like, that was pretty spot on. And the slight pause at "This is Ginger... Foutley," that was fantastic on Dodie's voice actor's part. It really captured Dodie's discomfort. A+ for voice acting, Aspen Vincent.<br />
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Luckily, Courtney overhears the whole thing and runs off to warn Ginger.<br />
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I think I'll just leave this screenshot here with no context:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoZGIlIAxOmGikdFoerGR9b9Cgsy7ujCmAendyqLWjgmRFl6KtmghaPwWo230p2XYgR9fcco1WwrpEwh4N4tysRw96v3Evj_zGZsCHsKw8JCBw5vo_YMH9237nL192XK_69MtOaxiK99c/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoZGIlIAxOmGikdFoerGR9b9Cgsy7ujCmAendyqLWjgmRFl6KtmghaPwWo230p2XYgR9fcco1WwrpEwh4N4tysRw96v3Evj_zGZsCHsKw8JCBw5vo_YMH9237nL192XK_69MtOaxiK99c/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I suspect this is where the concept for <i>Angry Birds </i>came from.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Okay, okay. Polly is about to lay an egg because she's so pissed off. She runs down the hallway looking for Carl while Noelle chases her down, possibly so she won't peck out his eyeballs.<br />
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Courtney invites Ginger for some low-fat coffee in the Gripling limo to ease her into the gut-wrenching news about her best friends plotting to ruin her. Ginger is skeptical, but Courtney comes straight out with the truth, like the good friend she is. See, this is why I love Courtney. Unlike every other Goddamn show, the one friend who knows something another character doesn't always beats around the bush in fear of speaking the truth. It's my second-most hated teen show cliche. I seriously freaking hate it when someone does that.<br />
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Luckily, Courtney doesn't hesitate for the sake of drama to hold back on spilling the truth to Ginger. In fact, Courtney telling Ginger straight-up what's going on is actually more dramatic, because it allows us to see Ginger's reaction to the sudden smack of news, not to mention it solidifies in stone that Courtney is the most humane and decent character on this show.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjreUyI57UZCjxjwaskfedNOb6la0K0PolDxtImVMJEtzfaPBqo6pAiageTgm03K6jqxV-jbBRsVqfywIvFGhLew4XKN8BTaakJhamMHCFDprgiXqMI48wHx5xWYqHiU_YvlAeYBLo6SL0/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjreUyI57UZCjxjwaskfedNOb6la0K0PolDxtImVMJEtzfaPBqo6pAiageTgm03K6jqxV-jbBRsVqfywIvFGhLew4XKN8BTaakJhamMHCFDprgiXqMI48wHx5xWYqHiU_YvlAeYBLo6SL0/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Why would my best friends want to ruin something that makes me really happy?" - Ginger<br />"Why do they make children's aspirin so very difficult for the small children to open?" - Courtney</td></tr>
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Ginger just doesn't want to believe that she's being duped, so Courtney tells Ginger to wait by her phone tonight at 8 to prove it. Because then, Ginger will be able to catch Miranda, Mipsy, Dodie, and Macie in the act when Courtney does a three-way call. Still, Ginger is skeptical, but she takes her drink and heads up to her room so she can listen for the phone.<br />
<br />
Polly pulls on some handmade bird costumes on herself and Carl, and they venture out into "Parrot World," which is really just Polly's shitty backyard her parents apparently never take care of. Carl is having trouble with his suspension of disbelief, probably because he doesn't know what playing pretend is. Polly tells Carl to try to visualize Parrot World, and after some time, one by one, each dirty object changes into a piece of a beautiful tropical rainforest.<br />
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Carl and Polly fly off into Parrot World, ca-cawing and flapping their cardboard wings. Meanwhile, Blake snaps pictures of the whole thing from a telephone pole. Seriously, Blake. Go play in your piles of money. Why are you so obsessed with Carl? *Gasp.* You don't think... <i>could he really? No...</i><br />
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And eww, what the fuck are they doing?!<br />
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Ugh, that is disturbing on an uncomfortable amount of levels.<br />
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Darren and Ginger both catch Ginger's answering machine as Fred calls Ginger back after "she" left him a message. Darren is like, "Girl, you got some explaining to do," and then Ginger realizes that Courtney was right all along. Darren climbs in to Ginger's room right as she collapses into his chest about to cry.<br />
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Meanwhile, Noelle waits for Carl in the doghouse to make sure Carl didn't have any fun with Polly. He claims he hasn't, but from the photos Blake secretly took, like the one where Polly was spitting chewed up macadamia nuts into Carl's mouth while all tied up (ugh--I'm never going to get that image out of my head now), he definitely has. Noelle is suspicious, right up until he gives her her glasses back. Admit it, Carl. You totally want more of Polly's spit in your mouth.<br />
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At 7:45 that night, Courtney calls Ginger to secretly patch her through to the three-way call with the "witches." Once Courtney gets a hold of Miranda, she tells her that she wants in on the plan to split Ginger and Darren up to get Dodie and Macie to come in on the call and confess.<br />
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Ginger and Darren listen intently as Dodie gushes over how well she voiced Ginger in her call to Fred, and Macie chirps up that Dodie sounded just like Ginger. Ginger can't bear her heart tearing anymore, so she unmutes the phone and thanks Courtney for helping her reveal the truth. Then she hangs up. Cue the reactions to Ginger finding out about the plan:<br />
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Darren tries to comfort Ginger, but it's no use. He holds her close and allows her to cry into his chest as she soaks in the realization that has flown straight over her head for so many years. Dodie and Macie are shitty, jealous "friends." Well, actually, Dodie is the shitty, jealous "friend." Macie cannot think for herself. But you know, she want along with it too, so that makes her a shitty friend as well. It has finally happened. Ginger finally knows the truth.<br />
<br />
So, what's next? Will Noelle find out that Carl did "have fun" playing birds with Polly? I swear, this whole B-plot sounds like one big euphemism for Carl cheating on Noelle by sleeping with Polly. And will Ginger's friendship with Dodie and Macie finally be severed once and for all? Dodie leaves Ginger a message on her answering machine begging for her forgiveness, so, who knows what'll happen.<br />
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I wish I could say I'm furious with Dodie and Macie for what they tried to do, it's actually more refreshing. For Dodie to stab Ginger in the back like this shows just how far she's willing to go to have Ginger all to herself. It's much better in terms of showing Dodie's true rotten persona, as most other episodes try so hard to mask Dodie's evil with her "devotion" to their friendship. Now, Dodie has no excuse. She ruined it. Anyone who has ever still believed Dodie is still a good person deep down has instantly changed their opinion tonight. Or rather, they should, because this kind of betrayal cannot be fixed with a simple "I'm saw-wee. I guess I was just jealous. Hugs?"<br />
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This goes beyond jealousy. This is manipulation. It's one thing for Dodie to be jealous that Darren was "stealing" Ginger away. Okay, I get it. But there is no excuse for trying to break them up just so she could spend more time with Ginger. No. Just no.<br />
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<br />
<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>Anyone who tries to sabotage your relationship for selfish purposes needs to be cut from your life immediately.<br />
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Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-22014344872665827092015-05-30T19:25:00.005-04:002022-10-23T09:20:33.289-04:00Season 3, Episodes 41 - 43: "Far From Home / Foutley's On Ice"Here we are, folks; it's the moment you've all been waiting for. Welcome to season 3... one day early! Okay, I actually finished writing this a few days ago. I figured if I was done, I shouldn't keep you guys waiting too long.<br />
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<br />
The headmistress of Avalanche Arts Academy is about to select the final five candidates to spend a semester there, and all the deans sit around the table to look over the candidates. They look about as uninterested as a child at a childless family reunion. Ever notice how really highfalutin American schools on TV always seem to be run by someone with a really uppity old-timey mid-Atlantic accent? Kind of like how Blake and Mrs. Gripling talk? That accent derives from aristocratic American society, and is a blend of American and British English. So, I guess in modern times, educational prestige is synonymous with aristocracy, so I guess it makes sense for TV.<br />
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Anyway, a man named Maurice pulls out five portfolios with the chosen candidates, and one of them happens to be Ginger.<br />
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The following scene sounds like the opening to a musical for some reason. The first time I saw this episode, I thought Ginger was going to break out into a song and dance about being accepted into Avalanche Arts. Naturally, the happy music comes to a screeching halt when Dodie moans about Ginger applying for the Avalanche Arts fellowship without telling her first. Ugh, typical Bishop. Always has to know <i>everything</i> that's going on in <i>everyone's </i>lives. I wonder if Ginger has to tell Dodie when she's on her period, and has to keep a consensus of how many pads and tampons she has left in her bathroom cabinet.<br />
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Then again, this isn't like menstruating--this <i>is </i>kind of a big deal, so on the one hand, I don't blame Dodie. On the other, I can see why Ginger didn't say anything. As Ginger finishes cleaning up the kitchen, she raves about Avalanche Arts' gorgeous campus and cute fuzzy animals. Meanwhile, Carl is outside, clearly high on Sheltered Shrubs-grade weed:<br />
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Apparently, he's trying out his new anti-hypothermia balm, made from chicken fat. Gross. You know, Carl would make an excellent test subject for various science experiments when he gets older. It should be his regular 9-to-5 job.<br />
<br />
"Hello, Carl," says his future wife. "How was work today?"<br />
"Oh, nothing out of the ordinary. Injected poisonous fruit juice to see if they break up blood clots, sprayed myself with a radioactive cologne to see if nuclear power plants can cause cancer, had a sandwich for lunch, was lowered into a fire pit while wearing nothing but a half-inch thick suit of titanium. How was your day?"<br />
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Did... did he just dump hot oatmeal all over his half-naked body?!<br />
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There is barely any context for this scene, so I honestly don't know if Ginger is in on it or not. She just might be so used to Carl's weird shit that stuff like this has no effect on her anymore.<br />
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Apparently, Carl devised this little experiment for the Weird Human Winter Fest. Sounds like his home away from home. Anyway, the phone rings, so Carl gets up to answer it. The scene cuts to our good friend Noelle Sussman, who's calling Carl while eating a slice of toast. She notices the lack of condiment and declares that it needs jelly. So she FREAKING MOVES THE JAR WITH HER MIND. Noelle is telekinetic! Holy flame-broiled balls, that's neat!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can you use that power to bring kittens to my room?</td></tr>
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Anyway, Noelle calls because she wants to come over to the doghouse after "school-ish" and possibly do weird PG-13 things together. Heh, if Carl finds out Noelle as telekinetic powers, the epitome of weird, he might let her touch his petrified eyeball. Carl ends up having to cut the call short to put on some pants and get to school.<br />
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Miranda throws a hissy fit because Courtney mentioned no one wears ear muffs anymore, and also because she's a clingy bitch baby that cannot function without Courtney's approval. Meanwhile, Dodie continues to bust Ginger's balls about the possibility of getting accepted into Avalanche Arts Academy, but at least Ginger tells her to shut the hell up about it because the chances of her getting in are very slim, despite the fact that we already know she's in. I can already see Dodie's face of "betrayal" when she finds out...<br />
<br />
Ginger passes by Courtney, says hello, and Courtney compliments Ginger on her earmuffs--you know, the same accessory she told Miranda was out of fashion. And boy, oh boy--Miranda gets so jealous, you can almost see her turning green. Okay, I don't know if Courtney is trying to rub Ginger's coolness in Miranda's face (which would make so much more sense) or if she's trying to impress Ginger the way everyone else tries to impress Courtney. And then Courtney goes to chase after Ginger to tell her how the fluffiness of her earmuffs totally matches the cute hairs in her nose. I can understand why Miranda would be upset here, but it really isn't Ginger's fault Courtney likes her better. Okay, maybe it is her fault. Miranda has been known to abandon Courtney when a new queen bee comes along. Like Hope, for example. It's just karma, honey. Be a decent human being and maybe people will start to like you.<br />
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Oh, and also Miranda, stop being a gold digger. I'm still sore from the Camp Caprice episode when you nearly abandoned your friendship with Courtney because you were going to lose out on a Virgin Island cruise.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I never understood why they're best friends. When do they ever get along?</td></tr>
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Mipsy comes up to Miranda in the hall, and they both agree that Ginger is a terrible, selfish person who deserves revenge. And then Mipsy lets it slip that "something's already been done," hinting at Ginger's acceptance to Avalanche Arts. Uh, coming from Mipsy, this acceptance doesn't sound so good after all.<br />
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Carl begins to doubt his anti-hypothermia balm as being good enough for the Weird Human Winter Fest, and tries to enlist Hoodsey for new ideas. But Hoodsey is more interested in his cheesecake pudding to care.<br />
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He suggests that Carl could use one of his past weird rouses for the festival, but the idea of ripping himself off is way beneath Carl. Perhaps this is a sign that Carl should start growing up a little. Nah.<br />
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Ole Blakey Boy saunters over and announces that he, too, is entering the festival, only to be followed up by a round of insults from Carl and Hoodsey about what a dull piece of tumbleweed he is. Blake just so happens to have a birthmark on his ass cheek that looks like Mother Teresa.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"DAFUQ?!"</i></td></tr>
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That's not weird--that's just disturbing. Are we going to learn about some guy at the festival who has a growth on his dick that looks like Gandhi? But I'm curious--is it a silhouette of her? Are there differently shaded areas that look like her facial features? I mean, it's not like she had any unique features. And who was the one who first noticed this, anyway? I give you questions, show, now give me answers!<br />
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Ginger's voiceover comes on and talks about how she knows Dodie would be pissed if Ginger got accepted, so she's not saying anything on purpose, and hey! Look! It's Laetitia Bowers! How have you been, girl?<br />
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<br />
And ew, go away, Ian. You too, fake French boy. Hey, wait a minute, these are not just random people. They have names. All of them had their own episodes. Nice sextuple cameo!<br />
<br />
Ginger totally has Dodie Fever--it's like cabin fever except she's itching to get away from Dodie so she could go to Avalanche Arts. Of course, Dodie continues to make Ginger feel like shit for wanting to go, nearly backing her into a corner. Is it so much to ask, Dodie? Is it so much to ask for you to not make every God-damn thing about yourself and just be excited for Ginger for once? She didn't even get in yet, and already I want to beat your face in. Macie, don't just stand there. Do something! Call animal control! Something!<br />
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<br />
And wouldn't you know? Ms. Zorski announces over the announcements that Ginger has won the fellowship to Avalanche Arts Academy. It's too bad Ginger doesn't get to be excited about this wonderful opportunity because her so-called "best friend" doesn't want her to go. Fucking fall down the stairs, you selfish scumbag. Hell, even Miranda knows that this is a good opportunity for Ginger; she's even throwing a bon voyage party for her. But it's Avalanche Arts, a chance for her to get the fuck away from Dodie for once in her life. I only wish Macie was chosen as well.<br />
<br />
This is actually making me angry. No, I mean this is actually making me tense inside. Not just because of Dodie's selfishness, but because when she's alone outside, she paces back and forth, pulls her hair clips out, and says the following, verbatim:<br />
<br />
<b>"How is this possible? How did she get in? Five kids in the whole entire country and they choose <i>Ginger?! </i>It doesn't add up. It's not like she invented a cure for the common cold or something!" </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Okay, despite the fact that I've seen this movie before and know the circumstances as to how Ginger got in, that's irrelevant. If Dodie was really a friend to Ginger, she would be excited that Ginger got in at all. It seems like Dodie believes Ginger doesn't even have a pinprick of talent and skill to even get <i>close</i> to Avalanche Arts, which is completely fucked up. How about that poem Ginger wrote last episode where everyone believed she was depressed? Weren't you, Dodie, convinced that Ginger was depressed based on the depth of her writing alone? I don't care how much you're upset that Ginger won't be around anymore--you could at least pretend to be happy for her, and then go up to your room and bawl your eyes out later. I'm glad Ginger calls you out on your bullshit, because this is just unacceptable.<br />
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<br />
Carl and Hoodsey catch Noelle spinning random objects in the doghouse telepathically, and her surprise makes her lose concentration and drop everything.<br />
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<br />
Carl is so intrigued by what he just saw that he asks Noelle to demonstrate it again. She lifts Blake's tonsil up into the air, and is immediately included into Carl's Weird Human Winter Fest plan.<br />
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<br />
Ginger tries to tell Lois all about Dodie's freakout, but she unfortunately doesn't see the deep psychological issues that Dodie possesses. I don't think you understand, Lois. Dodie isn't a normal girl. This is much more than just missing Ginger. It's more than just her best friend going away for a few months. Like Courtney, Dodie has this obsessive attachment to Ginger that never disappears. Okay, Courtney can at least function on her own. Dodie has separation issues and cannot even <i>breathe </i>without Ginger being at least in the same neighborhood. And it's really insulting to Macie, who will still be there, because having only Macie won't be enough to keep her happy. You should count your blessings because you have devoted friends, you twit. You could be like Miranda, who has no real friends at all.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUC7HcvVe0m6rbOvoB7mjwjeO_03DF3TgTy2Y1YIQQ3dJEgP8r7GinmK-TSLCU-9aMCEVPjJgo3GKAkjMrNIfn-OAeHd7b6J9s1bV0P2i7j6DY4SwwpH68VxAmM9a_V_N-TiJiV8wXpDA/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUC7HcvVe0m6rbOvoB7mjwjeO_03DF3TgTy2Y1YIQQ3dJEgP8r7GinmK-TSLCU-9aMCEVPjJgo3GKAkjMrNIfn-OAeHd7b6J9s1bV0P2i7j6DY4SwwpH68VxAmM9a_V_N-TiJiV8wXpDA/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nice apron.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Macie and Darren try to console Dodie as her mental breakdown runs its course, but it's no use. Ginger is her "<i>best friend</i>!" Uh, hello, Macie and Darren are sitting right behind you. Are they not your best friends, too? Why is Ginger more important than Macie and Darren? Perhaps Miranda might be onto something--Ginger seems to be important to quite a few people: Courtney, Dodie, Darren... but still. That's straight-up rude of her to emphasize how much of a best friend Ginger is to her. Macie and Darren just sit back and watch her cry; even they know she's gone off the deep end of pure obsession. I'm genuinely surprised Macie sides with Dodie a little bit. She's being brainwashed--brainwashed, I say!<br />
<br />
But <i>so </i>much can happen in one semester! Really? Like Miranda could morph into a good person and make a real friend? Or Macie could see an ENT specialist and finally get rid of that congestion? Or Dodie could actually think of someone other than herself for once and donate to a soup kitchen? No, <i>her</i> <i>bangs could grow out. </i>That's the most exciting thing that could possibly happen in the next few months. Fuck that shit. Pack your bags, Ginger.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheelLagxJbG0oaQ0mLtn_qr0iIKklXhoyQwrwz8BOIuuvfdOgAGcGrS3hhpZjlkKFbaKhSBuq8fIrCLcN3JfqtrDuBxYCtA0Cb_6JVWG8INRYwVSwCZ_Md7LdKo3_-QiU41jeQMKUJK1s/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheelLagxJbG0oaQ0mLtn_qr0iIKklXhoyQwrwz8BOIuuvfdOgAGcGrS3hhpZjlkKFbaKhSBuq8fIrCLcN3JfqtrDuBxYCtA0Cb_6JVWG8INRYwVSwCZ_Md7LdKo3_-QiU41jeQMKUJK1s/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nope, not even Darren can find a fuck to give.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
He tells Dodie (and Macie) that Ginger deserves more support, and that they should shut the hell up already because she's going to come back eventually. And even if she doesn't, Ginger would be better off anyway. It seems like Darren is the only one with sense around here anymore.<br />
<br />
Wow, Lois is letting Carl and Noelle be up in Carl's room with the door closed? Well, they are still a bit too young to start having sexy thoughts, so I guess it's okay. I don't know. Anyway, Noelle tries to joke around with Carl while they're watching some old alien monster movie, but Carl is too interested in Noelle's telekinesis--so much, in fact, that he becomes too lazy to even do anything himself anymore. Freeloader.<br />
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<br />
Noelle becomes rightfully upset that all Carl cares about is her powers that she storms off back home. But Carl is too dense at the moment to see what he's doing wrong. Lois tells him that it's time for dinner. What are they eating? Human carnage. I freaking love this scene.<br />
<br />
Ginger is now undecided about going to Avalanche Arts, despite the fact that there's a lot of cool shit going on up there. Outdoor classes, electives, cool kids. But I wouldn't read the booklet if I were you, Ginger. It won't tell you anything about what the school is really like. Darren pops in through Ginger's window, and they talk about Avalanche Arts. Darren pretty much solidifies Ginger's decision to go when he tells her that with her talent and passion, she's destined to be wildly successful. D'aww. And that's it.<br />
<br />
I wonder how much the tuition is there. I mean, I know with a fellowship, she doesn't have to worry about that, but still...<br />
<br />
It's the day of the festival, and all the weirdos have showed up to show off how different and non-conformist they are. Hey, even those twins from Carl's class are there! And there's some guy with a circumcised penis for a second nose.<br />
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<br />
Somehow, Noelle wasn't upset enough with Carl to back out of the festival, because she actually showed up. But she is still annoyed, because when Carl constantly asks if she needs anything to prepare for the audition, she replies with things like,"I'm fine," and "I'm not intimidated by the competition!" It seems like Carl is the one who's not fine and is intimidated by the competition. He bumps into Higsby, who's auditioning based off of his weird "Ooga Booga" dance, which is literally just him flailing his arms and shouting "Ooga booga!" Higsby? Not weird-fest material, Carl? That dance may not be weird, but Higsby most certainly is a weird enough individual to qualify. I wonder why he didn't bring Mr. Licorice.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRacgNlNDTVl24pIEWLTh-au3v7PLa_GiB4vJvjZkKWbQIMPDB4mYCHg9PV_HSVp2nsrTWoAjPqY0wiZgRVFOZywjc2C5hgV0cZpPHjx5lwAmbm4qbGTWnclJ6N9fAA8Qb4LYXVF9_RCM/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRacgNlNDTVl24pIEWLTh-au3v7PLa_GiB4vJvjZkKWbQIMPDB4mYCHg9PV_HSVp2nsrTWoAjPqY0wiZgRVFOZywjc2C5hgV0cZpPHjx5lwAmbm4qbGTWnclJ6N9fAA8Qb4LYXVF9_RCM/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Is it me he loves, or my telekinetic powers?" - Noelle<br />
"Your telekinetic powers, duh!" - Hoodsey</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Ooh, Mipsy and Miranda are up to something shady. Mipsy uses a public phone to tell someone to tell her <i>uncle</i> Maurice (remember, one of the deans from Avalanche Arts?) that she transferred money from her Bat Mitzvah account (most likely to cover Ginger's fellowship fees). So, let me see if I understand this--Mipsy paid off the deans and headmasters at Avalanche Arts to accept Ginger for the semester. And her uncle, Maurice, is an accomplice in this? Damn, that isn't right. So, in a way, Dodie was actually valid when she said it didn't add up when Ginger was chosen out of a pool of equally great--or better--applicants for the fellowship. Ew, I don't like it when Dodie is right. But the way she said it, man. It made it seem like she didn't think Ginger had any chance at all.<br />
<br />
Mipsy and Miranda then get a new plan--why keep Ginger away for a semester, when they can rig the system to get her enrolled in Avalanche Arts Academy permanently? Bitches. You know, these two are actually more pathetic than Dodie.<br />
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<span><!--more--></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJAlO6n8WBUzokR5FpNYAukHc6sMrB3rxUlK6MSymC2aWQ3U5keK2QQQClyWTFsMcioodgCchVA28gp3h9OHyTNhhUzTFzAoDHVI53wvC8zFzt0gnrKMWgvJjE5Dj091kQmQcwgETNF_c/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJAlO6n8WBUzokR5FpNYAukHc6sMrB3rxUlK6MSymC2aWQ3U5keK2QQQClyWTFsMcioodgCchVA28gp3h9OHyTNhhUzTFzAoDHVI53wvC8zFzt0gnrKMWgvJjE5Dj091kQmQcwgETNF_c/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
You know, this might be because it's a Nickelodeon show, but spending actual money to send someone to a wonderful school does not sound like something someone would do to their <i>enemy. </i>Although it's illegal, it's a nice gesture to get Ginger into her dream school. This could be a play on the phrase, "I'd <i>pay </i>to get rid of them!" But if Mipsy and Miranda truly hate Ginger as much as they say they do, they'd just hog tie her and throw her into a leaky basement to die. That's what real pathetic psycho teenagers do. So, I really don't understand their motives here. Maybe if Ginger got into Avalanche Arts naturally, and Mipsy and Miranda paid to keep her there, it might make a little more sense.<br />
<br />
And considering the abstract concept that Mipsy is paying for Miranda and Courtney's friendship, it's clear that both of these girls need rigorous therapy sessions with Doctor "Cough Medicine" Leventhal.<br />
<br />
It turns out both Blake and Noelle have been accepted at the auditions and will move on to "compete" for lack of a better word, with the other weirdos for weirdest person. Of course, Higsby's silly dance didn't make it on the list. Oh, well. You lose. Better luck next time, Brando. Carl rushes over to tell Noelle the news, and they cheer and smile and spin each other around in pure bliss, ending with this:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDgGaki3I4RZTL7nG_kRhPn-9u8OLken3QL-2SMZ0i1pVJGygudC-qS2uO8h1ji79VCFXmKEoF7JW3nPIozYBrmcO6sOyermmdfGl4S9ABQ8rXwekaC3NHT_nR8CEJekI2POV8_Rv0xRA/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDgGaki3I4RZTL7nG_kRhPn-9u8OLken3QL-2SMZ0i1pVJGygudC-qS2uO8h1ji79VCFXmKEoF7JW3nPIozYBrmcO6sOyermmdfGl4S9ABQ8rXwekaC3NHT_nR8CEJekI2POV8_Rv0xRA/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These two were made for each other.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
The next day, Darren forces Dodie to apologize to Ginger for acting like a selfish bitch, but it's totally half-assed because she's not <i>really </i>happy for her, nor is she actually sorry for what she said. Okay, I know that Ginger probably wouldn't have gotten into Avalanche Arts without Mipsy intervening, but even if Ginger <i>did</i> get in naturally, Dodie still wouldn't be happy. She just wants her security blanket with her at all times. Anyway, Ginger forgives her and all is good.<br />
<br />
When Courtney hears the news about Ginger leaving, her reaction is much more mature and <i>very </i>acceptable. She doesn't cry or pout or throw herself over her bed, even though she's obsessed with Ginger.<br />
<br />
Back at the doghouse, Carl, Hoodsey, and Noelle go over the rules of the Weird People contest. Because Noelle is too young to attend it on her own, she'll need an adult chaperone. They agree to put Hoodsey on stilts and adult makeup, I guess because he looks the most adult between him and Carl. I don't get why Noelle doesn't just ask her parents first. Maybe they'll agree to take her.<br />
<br />
The universe is shifting and Ginger isn't even gone yet--Courtney, heartbroken that Ginger will be gone for a while--enlists Dodie and Macie to be her new sidekicks to fill the Ginger-less gap. And then she casually puts her arm around Dodie's backpack. Oh, no. Look what you've done, Gripling. You've unleashed Dodie's sexual awakening.<br />
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<br />
Some time later, Ginger packs up her entire bedroom for a semester's worth of time. Damn, and Lois even sprang for a moving van. It's only five months, Ginger. I didn't even bring half that amount of stuff during my last year up at college. Trust me: you're only going to use about a third of what you're bringing. And that's something I learned my freshman year!<br />
<br />
Ginger becomes so overwhelmed with living far from home all on her own that she feels uneasy. Lois sits down to comfort her, but not before yelling out the window at the beeping truck driver that she's coming down in a second. Damn, I love you, Lois. Anyway, Lois gives Ginger some advice, which is to make the rest of the time she has left in Sheltered Shrubs a good one.<br />
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<br />
That night is the night of Ginger's going away party. She's clearly nervous, as she cannot find the right words to sum up her departure from the only home she's ever known to a brand-new place. I don't really expect Ginger to know what to say--again, she's only going for a <i>semester. </i>Though it definitely doesn't help that people are pushing and pulling her in all different directions. It's definitely confusing, stressful, exciting, and nerve-wracking all in one. That's why for the majority of us, we don't experience this medley of emotions until we go away to college.<br />
<br />
Ginger walks with Dodie and Macie to Miranda's house. Hmm, if Miranda hates Ginger so much, why would she want the party at <i>her </i>house, where Ginger would be walking on her floors, sitting on her couch, peeing in her toilet...<br />
<br />
That sign in front of Miranda's house practically spells it out for the world to see:<br />
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<br />
Ginger's plan is to write Dodie and Macie every day, though that seems excessive. But not nearly as excessive as when Dodie suggests for Ginger to call them twice a day. How do they expect Ginger to go to class and study if she's in constant contact with them? Leave the girl alone, for Pete's sake! Let her live! Heck, even Macie agrees.<br />
<br />
Miranda shoves the three inside so the party can officially start. Courtney begins the toast, and then gives Ginger her going away gift. At first glance, it looks like a blanket, but it's not. You want to know what it is? Courtney pulls the string, revealing a life-sized blow-up doll of--you guessed it--Courtney. Holy freaking--I have no words.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI4NoADAXvEZaRC1t_D6JPso73P47p1UztE5yMbaD46t4nLUjqnNOLDv9KnlrJ12wUu0ZijX8_MjnEldV9zFfk28TLdQswmMwotaEsVXV91ldlSkBrUIwVnB19boeKXkr0MLaN2ApXxuI/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI4NoADAXvEZaRC1t_D6JPso73P47p1UztE5yMbaD46t4nLUjqnNOLDv9KnlrJ12wUu0ZijX8_MjnEldV9zFfk28TLdQswmMwotaEsVXV91ldlSkBrUIwVnB19boeKXkr0MLaN2ApXxuI/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Someone stick a Brazzers logo on here and just be done with it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
I can make a hundred jokes about this, but I'll just leave this wide open to your imagination as to why Courtney would want to give Ginger a blow-up doll of herself. I think Emily Kapnek knew that this was going to just fly under the FCC radar when she wrote this. I guess to lower the possible sexual implications, Courtney voluntarily takes the doll back for herself. She then stares longingly at it and then takes it aside. Uhh... how about some punch? Start the music people!<br />
<br />
While everyone is dancing (Courtney is actually dancing with her doll!), the camera pans to Darren, Dodie, and Macie. Dodie mentions to Darren how well he's handling Ginger leaving him behind for new friends to climb in through her dorm window, and it somehow slips that Darren (gasp!) loves Ginger. Dodie and Macie squee in excitement. But Darren, embarrassed and flustered, tries to take what he said back, and steps outside to consider what he "really" meant to say.<br />
<br />
Carl, Hoodsey, and Noelle put together the perfect disguise for Hoodsey--ahem--"Hoodsdonowitz." But then there's the problem with Hoodsdonowitz's voice being too prepubescent. Noelle gets an idea. While Hoodsey paces back and forth complaining that he's not manly enough, Noelle plants a big ole smooch right on those whining flappers of his.<br />
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<br />
And there goes Hoodsey's balls. Dropping like the bass. A deep, gutteral "Hello children" utters out of Hoodsey's new manly body. And I don't know if Carl is making this face because he's surprised at how well that idea worked, or that his crush just kissed his best friend. I'm going to say both, but leaning more towards the latter.<br />
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<br />
The next morning, Ginger takes her sweet time getting on the bus to go to Avalanche Arts Academy. All this hugging and kissing and saying goodbye should have happened as the bus was coming down the street. Ah, whatever. Darren watches Ginger get on the bus from out his own window, and I'm not sure he's taking her leaving as well as he thought he would. Throughout the ride up there, Ginger's voiceover talks about leaving home and how it's not as bad as it seems once you're actually at your destination. This is a great lesson, though I never felt this way when I moved into my dorm freshman year of college. I never worried about being homesick or missing everything about home--I guess I just wanted to get away from home that badly. But that's just me. I'm sure nearly everyone else has at least <i>some </i>attachment to their homes.<br />
<br />
So, we finally get to Avalanche Arts, and it looks really swank.<br />
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<br />
Ginger spots an elk standing right next to her, so she pulls out her camera to take a picture. But some guy named Fred stops her. as the elk are sensitive to camera flashes. Yeah, Ginger. Don't act like a dang tourist. Fred helps Ginger find her dorm, and all her stuff is already in the room. Damn, that would have been nice for college. I would just have to unpack--no carrying heavy boxes up and down stairs. Anyway, Ginger finds her new room and roommate inside, and already it reminds me of my own hippie-dippie college. Hipsters, starving artists, and non-conformity all around.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyHDlzuBm4cuztpeHvxT4HTwpTdjmiCl7rU9t5rtr-VJ2GHrVMAf2swvYkCUhWYLLtGKtpA2F0f8hAtixdr1vFCnHpfm2BxOs2-6R_dgxkpMcfj0LTeWrcUsUrRroX6B3DDbvGn1dxySk/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyHDlzuBm4cuztpeHvxT4HTwpTdjmiCl7rU9t5rtr-VJ2GHrVMAf2swvYkCUhWYLLtGKtpA2F0f8hAtixdr1vFCnHpfm2BxOs2-6R_dgxkpMcfj0LTeWrcUsUrRroX6B3DDbvGn1dxySk/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We weren't allowed to have incense, though. </td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
The roommate introduces herself as Thea, and she seems friendly enough. She and Ginger talk a little bit about the school and tuition, and then she offers to take Ginger out to show her around. And then the camera pans over to a photo of Ginger and her friends that's inside her suitcase, and it slams shut. I think this is a nice visual metaphor--Ginger is leaving her friends behind, in a way, in favor of new and exciting opportunities at a school she apparently was never supposed to go to.<br />
<br />
Back at home, Darren tries to solicit advice from Dwayne about love, but he's not really that much help. You want to bang Ginger, Darren. No need to sugar-coat it.<br />
<br />
Courtney has entered the withdrawal stage of her Ginger addiction. She reminisces with Dodie and Macie about a random exchange they had, which is honestly not as sickening as I thought it would be. Ginger is really lucky that she has friends who actually do miss her--but honestly, Courtney, Dodie, and Macie really need to get a hobby. They can't rely on Ginger for <i>everything. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Courtney initiates a group hug to soak up all of Ginger's scent, germs, and body fluids right as Mipsy snaps a picture of them to send up to Ginger. She calls it phase 2: "Your best friends have moved on, so why don't you?" My God, Mipsy. What would your parents think if they saw you doing this shit to an innocent girl?<br />
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<br />
And then Miranda laughs her signature laugh that could possibly be heard all the way up to Avalanche Arts.<br />
<br />
Ginger gets acquainted with her new classmates, and surprisingly isn't homesick. That's just your body's way of recognizing that Dodie is off your radar, and you can finally relax for once, Ginger.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Carl continues to struggle with the kiss between Hoodsey and Noelle.<br />
<br />
As it turns out, Thea is not actually who she says she is. She's a Mipsen--and Mipsy's cousin. Holy hell, is everyone in Mipsy's family affiliated with Avalanche Arts? And if so, why isn't Mipsy going there? I suppose a talentless hack like her couldn't even get in through nepotism because she'd just spread ugly rumors about everyone, tarnishing the squeaky clean reputation the school has built up.<br />
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<br />
I don't see why she had to wear a disguise, though. It's not like Ginger has ever met Mipsy's cousin before, right? She calls Mipsy and tells her that she's doing a great job leading Ginger on, but notices that Ginger is missing her friends from back home. That's where Mipsy and Miranda come in, with the picture.<br />
<br />
I honestly want to know what Miranda plans to do with Courtney once she has her all to herself. She already knows Courtney misses Ginger, and possibly won't stop talking about how her hair always smells like French lavender and how her nose crinkles up so cutely when she sneezes. So, this whole plan is pointless--it's just going to make Courtney and Miranda even more detached, considering they're not actually good friends in the first place.<br />
<br />
Carl continues to lose his edge as his jealousy rises higher than the mercury on an Indian summer day. Noelle perfects Hoodsdonowitz's adult look. Combined with the manly voice, it's actually really well-done. I'm impressed. But, ew. That nose. Oh, God, what an ugly nose.<br />
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<br />
It's even worse when Noelle basically jumps on top of Hoodsey and they start rolling around on the floor together. Carl can't take his jealousy anymore, so he leaves. Aww, I feel so bad for him. But it's not like Noelle and Hoodsey are doing anything wrong.<br />
<br />
Courtney, Macie, and Dodie are failing at functioning like normal humans because Ginger isn't there to mask their collective dull-as-dirt personalities. Seriously--turn on some pop music and dance. Look at kitten videos online. Go play in the snow. There's tons of shit they can do together. It makes me wonder if Dodie and Macie even talk to each other when Ginger's not around considering all they can talk about is what Ginger talks to <i>them</i> about. And you, Courtney--you travel a lot. Why not show them pictures of your foreign adventures or something? You cannot possibly tell me that Ginger was what was keeping you all from dying of boredom. That is unhealthy. And sick.<br />
<br />
Darren is just as bad as Courtney, Macie, and Dodie. He's still carrying around a barrette Ginger dropped when she got on the bus, thinking about her nonstop. I don't understand--what is it about Ginger that makes her <i>sooooo </i>interesting that society breaks down the moment she leaves Sheltered Shrubs?<br />
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<br />
Anyway, Mr. and Mrs. Patterson realize very quickly that Darren is experiencing Ginger withdrawal as well, so they encourage him to tell Ginger how he feels, probably so he can start eating again and can avoid calls from CPS.<br />
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Ginger rides off with Fred to God-knows-where to do God-knows-what.<br />
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<br />
Holy hell on a hoagie--please Courtney. Please. Get. Some. Fucking. Help.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvjFhoU9xdlzqGRghrI1f9OEv2woSFvY8t_193Oo_XKchhtZg2AYZm4K3bb2kyMwXDDl4hOCJbPXOdHDnzZhy6Mxee-yZ1-NXdHNKRkRlHXbgkSHbowcgCcQkUYKFTXet9wT-B2CkAHEc/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvjFhoU9xdlzqGRghrI1f9OEv2woSFvY8t_193Oo_XKchhtZg2AYZm4K3bb2kyMwXDDl4hOCJbPXOdHDnzZhy6Mxee-yZ1-NXdHNKRkRlHXbgkSHbowcgCcQkUYKFTXet9wT-B2CkAHEc/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Having a popular celebrity on your shirt = totally cool<br />
Having a girl you barely acknowledge but you secretly want to fuck on your shirt = Psychotherapy 101</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
I cannot. It's like Ginger has these kids under her own spell or something. I get it, guys--you miss your best friend and feel lonely without her. Okay. But God damn it, this show is turning into a farce. I can guarantee you that Courtney has a Ginger blow-up doll in her room somewhere. And who knows how much she's charging Dodie, Macie, and Darren for copies of their own? I wonder if they even come with talking capabilities with real recorded phrases Ginger has said. At this point, nothing will surprise me.<br />
<br />
Courtney's complexion is taking a toll on her without Ginger around, so she breaks into Mipsy's locker to borrow some concealer. And out falls the unmailed photo of the three Mipsy delayed sending for some reason.<br />
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<br />
Ooh, this is a good part right here. Ginger, in her voiceover, notices that she hasn't heard from Dodie or Macie in a while, and fears they're growing apart. And then she considers that this could be a <i>good </i>thing. Hallelujah! I knew it! Yes, Ginger. Go with your gut. You really need to cut Dodie and Macie out of your life. As you just indirectly mentioned, they are a drain on you.<br />
<br />
Ginger catches up with Thea and mentions that she and Fred were totally grinding on each other the whole night. And then she comments on how liberal and open the student body is, and considers making some changes to herself. Oh, boy.<br />
<br />
Noelle tries to talk to Hoodsey in private about Carl, as she noticed he hasn't been himself lately. She was hoping Hoodsey could help her reunite with Carl again, but Carl catches them together, assumes they snuck off together, and breaks off both of them. Ah, crushes. That's why they're called such. They crush your soul to the point where you don't know what's true or not anymore.<br />
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Courtney, Dodie, and Macie open the envelope and quickly realize that Miranda and Mipsy need swift kicks in their asses for pulling this horrible, yet elaborate stunt. So, Courtney proposes they all meet at her house after school to plan out how to reveal the truth to Ginger.<br />
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Some time later, after Ginger receives the pictures in the mail, she decides to leave her old friends behind in favor of reinventing herself. So, Thea prepares to dye her hair.<br />
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Hoodsey and Noelle try to coerce Carl to come out of the doghouse to talk, but he's too upset over what potentially is going on between them. Hoodsey tells Carl he would never betray him, but it's no use. Love hurts, man.<br />
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Ginger's new do actually suits her really well. It would look even nicer if it was longer, though.<br />
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Fred invites her to a reading of <i>Jennifer's Ghost</i> which is an obvious homage to <i>Jennifer's Body. </i><br />
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While Dodie and Macie take pictures of Courtney's room, Courtney's phone rings. Dodie answers, and it's Miranda, who goes "<i>Ewwwww</i>" at the sound of Dodie's annoying, high-pitched voice. That actually made me laugh really hard. I would totally do the same.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Ewwww, </i>indeed.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Miranda demands to speak to Courtney, but Courtney is rightfully sore from finding out her so-called friend was trying to get rid of her one true love, so Courtney picks up the phone and reiterates her motive to talk to Miranda with Miranda and Mipsy's motive to get rid of Ginger: "Your best friend has moved on, so why don't you?" And hangs up. BOOM. Perfect. I love you, Courtney.<br />
<br />
As Ginger and her new friends sit around a campfire reading <i>Jennifer's Ghost, </i>Darren pops up behind the bushes after taking the train up to Avalanche Arts, and totally makes an idiot out of himself when confronted by an elk. Ginger yells at him for being so stupid and Darren makes an even bigger idiot out of himself trying to regain control of his falling dignity. Ginger suggests they go inside to dry off, but Darren refuses, saying that Ginger would be better off with her "new friends." And then he leaves dramatically.<br />
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Oh, what the fuck, Darren?! You have a lot of nerve, don't you? You sneak away from home, barely catch a train ride up to Avalanche Arts hours away so you can confess your sudden lust for Ginger, who's trying to make herself comfortable in this new, exciting place. And when she doesn't jump on top of you and kiss you like you're her knight in shining armor, you get pissed, and then try to make her feel like shit for being with her new friends.<br />
<br />
Seriously, what the fuck did you expect to happen when she went away for a semester? Did you think Ginger would get up to the school and start crying and hugging her photos of her old friends while curled up on her bed? Did you think she would start calling Dodie, Macie, and you every night and complain about how Avalanche Arts sucks so bad without Dodie's latest report on which insignificant couple broke up over a bag of cheese balls? Ginger has realized that she's finally free of all that stupid junior high shit that suffocated her for so long. She can finally be herself and write poems without people worrying that she's about to kill herself.<br />
<br />
I think I hate Darren, you guys. Darren is possessive. He wants Ginger all to himself, and doesn't even accept her making new friends. Is he jealous? Is he worried she'll find a new boy toy? Too late. And yet he wants to start a relationship with her. No fucking way will this be a healthy relationship.<br />
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Forget about the fact that Mipsy and her cousin made this all happen. Ginger finally seems happy, and the other kids seem to like her without Thea's help. Why are you trying to ruin this for Ginger, Darren?<br />
<br />
Okay, rant over. That just had to be said.<br />
<br />
After Darren leaves, the group hears an announcement over the radio about a severe snow storm approaching. Wonderful! More conflict.<br />
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Ginger stays up all night worrying about Darren, and wonders where her picture of Dodie, Macie, and Darren are. Thea tells her she put it away since it's part of her past now, and Ginger gets hyper-defensive. And then Thea tells her about the full-time scholarship Ginger just received, which is weird considering Thea "knew" before Ginger did. Ginger says she's not taking the scholarship because her shitty friends are more important, and then leaves to go look for Darren. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Ginger! You were doing so well! You were finally going to be free of those toxic possessive Ginger-obsessed pathetic losers! Why can't you see what I see?<br />
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Oh, and I guess Mipsy and Miranda's plan backfired. Damn. Yes, I actually do wish it had worked.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqww_0i87jKnZncdi9bqhK_s9m2ltaCns4VjkHQDVfqPdxx26jjUqu63BOZYt1-K6nqrI5hPhS5mzPoTuGi6BCv-vK9Ycf4w7vRfcUcXrb8APY7IeB2u40XcE9FkeOBkvws46ehKeE2Ic/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqww_0i87jKnZncdi9bqhK_s9m2ltaCns4VjkHQDVfqPdxx26jjUqu63BOZYt1-K6nqrI5hPhS5mzPoTuGi6BCv-vK9Ycf4w7vRfcUcXrb8APY7IeB2u40XcE9FkeOBkvws46ehKeE2Ic/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was supposed to be the time when Ginger realized who her true friends are. Screw this Nickelodeon "right thing." Dodie, Macie, and Darren are shit "friends." End of story.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Courtney calls Winston so he can drive the three up to Avalanche Arts and what the hell am I looking at here?<br />
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Unfortunately, Winston is taking Blake to the Weird Human Winter Fest, so he's unable to. I don't think he'd want to drive up to Avalanche County anyway considering the storm. Instead, Courtney arranges for her helicopter to take them there. Well, okay then.<br />
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At the Freak Fest, Noelle and Hoodsey get word from Blake that Carl called and wished him good luck. Hurt by this totally un-Carl sentiment, Hoodsdonowitz and Noelle plot to win in <i>spite </i>of Carl instead of <i>for </i>Carl. Meanwhile, Carl is stowed away in the tire holder on the back end of the bus, freezing his jealous little ass off.<br />
<br />
Courtney, Macie, and Dodie break into Ginger's dorm and find Thea, who reveals to be Mipsy's cousin. She tells them that they're not going to ruin her "cash cow" plan to have Mipsy keep giving money to Uncle Maurice (who I believe is Thea's father) to keep Ginger here, so she threatens the three with a spray bottle. Oooh, I'm shaking in my snow boots.<br />
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Ginger continues the search for Darren while a montage of their time together in the past plays on an overlay of Ginger's face. So sad. She's such a smart girl, but sometimes I just want to strangle her until she can see that these people are terrible and will do nothing but bring her down.<br />
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Noelle wants to go home, as it's pointless to be in the Weird Fest without Carl. Hoodsey suggests they get some cheese fries at the rest stop and talk it over. Unfortunately, the fries take too long and they end up missing the bus. Shouldn't the bus driver do a head count? And wouldn't he see them out there? Noelle tries to telepathically bring the bus back, but ends up bringing back the tire case, and Carl crawls out, confused. He runs off, leaving Noelle and Hoodsey to chase after him. They all end up getting into a big fight about the kiss and about Carl's feelings for Noelle, all in the middle of the enormous snowstorm. It's actually kind of funny because they're all screaming at each other 30 feet apart. And once they start getting into nonsensical hypothetical arguments, their screaming causes an avalanche. The ice starts to break up around Carl, who's stranded and about to drown, but Noelle saves him using her powers. And I guess Carl is super grateful for that because it must mean that she really does like him. I don't know--these are ten-year-olds we're dealing with.<br />
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Noelle is weak from lifting Carl's body out of the freezing water, so the boys rush to her aid. Carl thanks Hoodsey, and Noelle especially, for saving his life. And now they're all made up. I wonder if this means if Noelle didn't have feelings for Carl, she'd probably let him drown.<br />
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And then, Ginger comes from out of the blue, Carl declares Noelle his girlfriend, and they all leave on the power ski thing she's been driving with.<br />
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Ginger stops at the train station to get her brother and his friends a ticket back home, and she ends up finding Darren there, whining to the train conductor about his elk encounter. Ginger asks him what the hell he's doing all the way up in the mountains, to which Darren reveals that he's madly in love with Ginger. Gee, Ginger, why else would he come up here? To return that barrette you dropped when you got on the bus? And then they kiss.<br />
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Did you hear Ginger moan right before their lips touched?<br />
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Whatever, man. If Ginger wants to enter a relationship with Mr. Possessive, then fine. But don't blame me if he starts controlling who you can and can't hang out with.<br />
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So, the guys and Noelle get on the train, and go back home to Sheltered Shrubs.<br />
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Ginger gets back to her room where she finds Dodie, Macie, and Courtney (and Thea in her wardrobe), and the whole plan is revealed. Thea also discloses the reason why Mipsy and Miranda went to all this trouble--you know, because they want more attention from Courtney, to which Courtney replies, "That is so sweet... in a really twisted, self-destructive stalker kind of way." Well, at least she's aware. And then they leave to go to Miranda's house to break her neck... and then kiss it for being "so sweet."<br />
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Ginger tells Macie and Dodie all about the kiss, and the camera pulls away to let them have their moment.<br />
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And then there's this very disturbing scene where these preteen girls wave Hoodsey over like they're flirting with him, and then he puts on his Hoodsdonowitz stilts and goes over to talk to them. <i>Ewwwww. </i>What the hell, writers?!<br />
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So, that's it. That's <i>Far From Home, </i>everybody. It's entertaining, it's creepy, it's romantic, it's illogical. I honestly cannot believe Ginger is still friends with Dodie and Macie, though. They are terrible. But you may think, "Oh, they came all this way so that they can warn Ginger about Mipsy and Miranda's plot." Yes, but they only did that so Ginger could abandon this great opportunity and go back home where she "belongs." Even Dodie reveals that Ginger ended up getting into Avalanche Arts on talent, and that she does deserve to be here. Fuck Dodie.<br />
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It's too bad we didn't get to see more of Fred. He seemed pretty chill. I would have also liked to see what Ginger's classes were like. Oh, well.<br />
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At least Carl and Noelle are together. They are totally perfect for each other. I wonder who ended up winning the Freak Fest, though. Probably Blake, who paid off the judges. Or maybe it was that guy with the penis on his nose. He needs help.<br />
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Ah, what the heck... everyone on this show needs help. Except for Lois--she is just tons of awesome.<br />
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See you all next week for the anticipated, "Wicked Game." I've been told it's a real blood-cooker.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>your shitty friends are the only friends you're allowed to have; communication is key when it comes to kissing and crushes and dating; Darren is possessive, Courtney needs serious therapy, fuck Dodie, Macie is getting worse, and Miranda and Mipsy need to seriously take a good look in the mirror because they are horrible, stupid people who don't even know how to enact revenge properly.<br />
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</div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-1011301481769607322015-05-24T19:48:00.002-04:002022-10-23T09:21:17.395-04:00BONUS POST: Seasons 1 and 2 Recap"Someone once told me the grass is much greener... on the other side..."<br />
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Well guys, we're almost here. We're at the home stretch of this series, and nearing the point of no return. "Far From Home" kicks off the fate of the rest of the series, which definitely has more drama, betrayal, romance, and mature themes. <i>As Told By Ginger </i>has had its share of stupid episodes of course, but it's also had some of the most memorable episodes that'll stick with us until the day we die.<br />
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It seems like the advent of season 3 has also brought in a new team of writers, as we're introduced to some pretty heavy stuff. Now, I'm not going to leak any spoilers, but I will say: be prepared for some new surprises!<br />
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That's not to say the first two seasons were overall mind-numbing teeny-bopper crap--far from it by a long shot.<br />
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We've learned so much about our main cast in these past 40 episodes that we could start a fandom. Actually, this blog is sort of a fandom. We have two regular commentors--shout-outs to Jessica Victoria Carrillo and NoParking Berry for your weekly contributions to the comments section! I'd give you a prize, but I think a nice Internet ego boost would suffice. Sorry, I'm cheap. We New Yorkers are very stingy with our money since everything here is twice the price as everywhere else. ;)<br />
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But honestly, I truly appreciate everybody's comments, as they make this blog feel so much more alive.<br />
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Now, let's take the rest of this time to talk about the past 40 episodes, and what makes them so... so <i>Ginger. </i><br />
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You know, one thing that makes this show awesome is its unforgettable minor characters. Remember Maude, the kooky old lady from the nursing home? I feel like Maude grew up in a really strict Christian household, and never truly got to experience life until after her parents died. Perhaps that's why she always seems like she's off her rocker. She also could have been suffering from dementia, but that's too depressing. I like to think of her as a super-late bloomer seeing life for the first time, kind of like when you unleash a dog in a big, green park.<br />
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It's terrible that she kicked the bucket on the Foutleys' kitchen table, though. However, Maude would get annoying really fast if she was a regular cast member. That cough and her extreme eccentricities wouldn't fit in with this show too much. She would probably fit in better as a regular on <i>The Fairly OddParents. </i><br />
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My favorite episode of the series so far is "Losing Nana Bishop." It wasn't a clear win, as there are many episodes that could qualify for the best episode as well. There was just something different about this episode that just stood out among children's shows in general, and that was Hoodsey's subplot of him not really liking his grandmother that much because he just didn't know her, which is why he didn't feel like the right person to speak about her at the funeral. Don't they usually assign those eulogies to adults, like spouses or adult children?<br />
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I had an uncle who died a couple of years ago. And I'll admit, I felt bad about it, but I didn't feel devastated like some other family members. I just didn't know him that well. I mean, I saw him once or twice a year for a few hours of the day. I never got to build a relationship with him just like Hoodsey never did with Nana Bishop. Perhaps that's why I wasn't in mourning at his funeral. I don't want to call it apathy, because that's not it. It's just not experiencing a personal loss, and I'm sure a lot of kids feel that way when a distant relative dies.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I still think this scene is funny.</td></tr>
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I just love how this episode explores the other side of grief--where some people don't have enough of a connection to a family member to mourn. I'm sure every one of us has--or will--felt this way about someone before. And I also love how this episode tells kids that it's okay that they're not upset--and it's okay. It's normal, and we shouldn't feel bad about not showing the expected amount of emotion. I mean, funerals are sad, but how much worse would it be if you walked into the wake and everyone was bawling with tears? It's nice to have those non-mourning family members to ease the tension and show emotional support.<div>
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What I really like about this show is its real world application. Well, this show is the closest one can come to real life in the Nickelodeon world. But <i>Ginger </i>tackled junior high dilemmas in a totally unique way. And most of the time, this was due to unlikely characters bouncing off of each other. The constant strain between Joann and Carl was like music--two insane people on opposite ends of the insane spectrum. I always loved (and hated) the way Joann would try to brainwash Hoodsey into thinking Carl was a bad influence on him, because she really seems to have it out for this kid. I mean she really <i>hates </i>him. </div>
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I wonder if Joann knew a kid like Carl when she was in school...</div>
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I must have mentioned this in another post, but it really seems like Joann was based off of someone in real life. I guarantee she was. She's just too specific for someone to just conjure up. Oh, Joann. There's not another character quite like you. I must say, as much as I rag on Joann for being a terrible excuse for a human being and being as uptight and stiff as starch in the FCC's breakfast shake, she is one of my favorite characters. Want to know how to tell who your favorite character of a show is? If you hear they're going to be in an episode, you become excited and predict how they're going to react. Like Prince Zuko from <i>Avatar: The Last Airbender </i>and Helga from <i>Hey Arnold!</i>, just pick a character, stick them in a plot, and if you can picture step-by-step how they might react and get really excited about it, chances are, they're your favorite character. </div>
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Or maybe that's just me. </div>
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In "Gym Class Confidential," I really loved how both plots explored how much of a pain it is to grow up. Between Macie's unwillingness to watch a lady push a seven-pound fetus out of a bloody hoo-ha to Hoodsey's stomach fat being a hindrance to his self esteem, the episode as a whole really presses down on common insecurities that should be explored in other shows, as well. And, this episode stars Joann in one of the most controversial one liners in the entire series thus far--"Of course [Carl] is comfortable; the boy's a budding exhibitionist!"</div>
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Of course, where would we be without the shitty moments of the show? I still deem "Cry Wolf" as the number one worst episode of the series. I don't know--I just got so mad at Ginger. She is supposed to be portrayed as this character who doesn't fall victim to peer pressure and bullies and does the right thing without looking like a nerd, but the fact that she totally kowtows to Miranda's every whim and demand--just so she won't tell a few kids that she has normally-functioning hair follicles--irritated me to the extreme. I mean, I guess Nickelodeon's excuse would be, "Oh, but we want to show that Ginger is still just a preteen, and doesn't always get it right." Yeah, I get it, but Ginger never stands up to Miranda in the end of the episode. She never takes a stand and says, "I don't give two shits what you think about my hairy legs. Go suck on a cactus." </div>
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The entire episode was just poor advice on top of falling victim to peer pressure on top of an ill-conceived message. It's one of those episodes that should have never existed, sort of like the "Arnold Betrays Iggy" episode from <i>Hey Arnold! </i>The writers of that episode actually apologized to Craig Bartlett for creating such a travesty.</div>
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This is merely skimming the surface on what a fantastic show this is. Of course, there could be some improvements, but the show stands quite nicely on its own. It's one of those shows that actually makes you think, a show that actually has passion behind it, and isn't filled with gross-out humor and exaggerated cartoonish buffoonery. In other words, it wasn't meant to keep you quiet so you'd stop raising your parents' blood pressures with all your selfish childish demands. This show actually had heart. It had a message. And it still does. </div>
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And season 3 is only going to bring a lot more. So, stay tuned.</div>
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Once again: thanks for sticking around, you guys. This blog wouldn't exist without you!</div>
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Your Internet best friend,</div>
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Deebiedoobie</div>
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P.S. -- Tell me in the comments section, everyone: what's your favorite and least favorite <i>As Told By Ginger </i>moments? I'd love to know what rustled your jimmies!</div>
<span><!--more--></span></div></div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-82907574183948702542015-05-18T23:20:00.001-04:002022-10-23T09:24:30.533-04:00Season 2, Episode 40: "And She Was Gone"Hi, guys. I apologize for the late posting. My graduation was on Sunday, and I didn't get a chance to finish this review on time. My bad. On the plus side, I officially have my bachelor's degree in English/creative writing! The negative side? I am now expected to be an adult. Never! I will continue to watch cartoons in my pajamas while snuggling my Appa plush. Fight the adulthood!<br />
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Trivia: This episode was nominated for an Emmy Award in the Outstanding Animated Program Less Than One Hour category.<br />
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We open with a techno-like beat and a tour of a black and white Sheltered Shrubs through the eye of a raven. Or is it a crow? There's a creepy-looking, barefoot girl walking down the street with her arms tucked in tightly, looking lost and confused.<br />
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I'm sure most of you have seen this episode before, but for those of you who haven't or don't remember it, it's a creative intro that's based off of the poem Ginger will be writing for the Emerging Author Award contest. Ms. Zorski has returned from her three-week quarantine, ready to teach again. I really hope she got Mrs. Grimley sick with whatever disease magnetized her to her bed for that long. Anyway, she tells the class to prepare something for the contest, and whoever writes with the least amount of grammar mistakes will have their work blown up, laminated, bedazzled, and posted on the Wall of Miracles with the subtitle, "There are people who know how to use the English language properly after all." No, but seriously, the best piece will be published.<br />
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The deadline for the contest is at the end of the week, so Ginger freaks out, wondering what she's going to write. Dodie suggests that Ginger should write a story about her and the time she got stitches on her chin. <i>Of course you would say that, Dodie</i>. Of course you would want everyone to read all about you. The thing is, nobody wants to read about an attention-starved desperate wannabe, unless it involves Courtney Gripling's dirty laundry and you being wrapped in a straitjacket. Ginger tells her that the entry has to be fiction, but Dodie suggests that Ginger could just make Dodie learn to fly at the end. Luckily, Ginger declines the prompt, and decides to just wing it and see what happens.<br />
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Hey, Dodie, I'm a writer. I'll write a story about you. Are you open to <i>really </i>unhappy endings? >=)<br />
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Carl and Hoodsey eye a new entry in a magic shop window: vanishing powder.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Will these two ever learn the difference between shit and bullshit?</td></tr>
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Naturally, they go up to the clerk and ask for the powder. Carl tries to smooth-talk his way into getting the reversal potion for free (since it's sold separately), saying that it would be irresponsible to not include it with the vanishing powder already, but the clerk doesn't give a rat's ass--he's probably seen way too many moochers like Carl, so he's not budging. Carl buys the powder anyway.<br />
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To prepare herself to write, Ginger boils some water for tea, sits down at a typewriter (you know, before it became a symbol of hipsterism), and begins to write. Her imagination takes her deep into the realm of the typewriter where her poem is hidden. The further down into the typewriter we go, the skinnier and frailer the keys get. We follow them to the bottom, where they're attached to the arms of the girl we saw in the opening of the episode.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguVnBZwyG-FAQ7u-QxYDIHtfT96MQNg2t1DBqIx-t03Q9hQzgPL68lRszuh4EtUE4H_-4Eo6_IufqLllBpolZyiExfhByhu4XHipB6RIzBWEvDa8iE5WE6BA3tc42gcbTgyHXmskJY2Bc/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguVnBZwyG-FAQ7u-QxYDIHtfT96MQNg2t1DBqIx-t03Q9hQzgPL68lRszuh4EtUE4H_-4Eo6_IufqLllBpolZyiExfhByhu4XHipB6RIzBWEvDa8iE5WE6BA3tc42gcbTgyHXmskJY2Bc/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"She chose to walk alone, though others wondered why. Refused to look before her, her eyes cast upward towards the sky..."<br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"She didn't have companions, no need for Earthly things. Only wanted freedom from what she felt were puppet strings..."<br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXu-pRgAsNB2nlmCK1qBwTijmdnQ_YHt2_bdBHKxYODxPioHGwx3RMPViu5fpKJU-4_JBEUGDl99rkFCbGc-aX3gsZ6VBtMHG-l2K6bUKzlwtO0VBKR3htYuB5el3kLZQbD-k7freiEU4/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXu-pRgAsNB2nlmCK1qBwTijmdnQ_YHt2_bdBHKxYODxPioHGwx3RMPViu5fpKJU-4_JBEUGDl99rkFCbGc-aX3gsZ6VBtMHG-l2K6bUKzlwtO0VBKR3htYuB5el3kLZQbD-k7freiEU4/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"She longed to be a bird, but she might fly away. She pitied every blade of grass, for planted they would stay..."<br /><br /></td></tr>
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Carl tells Hoodsey that they must choose the perfect victim--er, I mean candidate-- for their vanishing powder prank, someone who is so invisible already, no one would even miss. So that means the obvious Blake and Higsby are out. Hoodsey digs through a handful of class pictures and spots Noelle Sussman--a background character we've seen in many episodes already.<br />
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<br />
Ginger finishes her poem that night, ending with the line, "We awoke one autumn day to find that she was gone," hence the title of the episode. She's confident it's the best darn thing she's written in a long time, and I don't blame her. It's impressive so far.<br />
<br />
Carl and Hoodsey rush to class seconds before the bell rings, accidentally knocking Noelle over in the process while she's doing her morning kung-fu. They don't even recognize it's her in the first place, which is kind of sad. They find her seat in the seating chart and apply the powder all around her desk. Wouldn't she notice a pile of white powder around her desk? The clock strikes 8:30, and everyone files into the classroom. Carl records the time on his walkie talkie for notes, and mentions it's 8:35. Say <i>whaaaat</i>? No way five minutes passed that quickly. And what is Mrs. Gordon doing back from the dead?! My only explanation is that some of these episodes are aired out of order. I'm sure if Mrs. Gordon rose from her chalk dust-covered coffin, Carl would be all over that like flies to a dead horse.<br />
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<br />
After Mrs. Gordon blows Higsby off for being a brown-noser, the camera pans over to Noelle, who has tiny finger puppets of Mrs. Gordon, Higsby, Hoodsey, and Carl. Creepy!<br />
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<br />
Hoodsey thinks it's funny. Carl looks impressed. Too impressed, actually. Or perhaps that's the look of regret as Noelle kicks the vanishing powder up off the floor. Seriously--why does no one notice this stuff?! It's as white as Mrs. Gordon's hair!<br />
<br />
Ms. Zorski reads Ginger's poem after class, but she apparently has a different perspective on it than Ginger does. Ms. Zorski informs Ginger that her poem is so dark and depressing that she's scared that Ginger might be suicidal or cutting or something. Of course, she says this in the least offensive way, just to be on the safe side. She writes Ginger a recommendation to see Doctor Leventhal to discuss these issues she assumes Ginger has. Why does that name sound like a cough medicine? Ginger straight up tells her that it's just a work of fiction, and that it has no bearing on her own feelings, but Ms. Zorski urges her to go see Doctor Cough Medicine anyway. Maybe, Ginger, you shouldn't have mentioned that you started crying when writing it. Regardless, all of Ginger's good feelings are suddenly washed away by political correctness and misunderstandings.<br />
<br />
But really, I can understand Ginger's frustration--we all know that she's not depressed, and if Ms. Zorski truly understands Ginger's talent as much as I thought she did, she wouldn't have any reason to believe that her poem derives from ongoing issues. On the other hand, I can understand Ms. Zorski's concern. She's just looking out for Ginger, something more teachers should do for their students.<br />
<br />
Carl has fallen off the edge and launched himself straight into the big spaghetti bowl of love.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjGE_mixPKlat2-eUR1_zF1-spT9ca1XqY4iQ2GWZTra9gPT-mmYQnfi-YcFqi9Kgz-MEfwuiNvZPR7-BDpEdh4lDWf_5oGJJYWfAOMNKCx9TcckO0GX5S2LVI1jXq34m5Hn2rxC8Dkjw/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjGE_mixPKlat2-eUR1_zF1-spT9ca1XqY4iQ2GWZTra9gPT-mmYQnfi-YcFqi9Kgz-MEfwuiNvZPR7-BDpEdh4lDWf_5oGJJYWfAOMNKCx9TcckO0GX5S2LVI1jXq34m5Hn2rxC8Dkjw/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hey, I love sweet potato casserole! I would have loved to have food like that in my elementary school.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Noelle is perfect--perfectly <i>weird</i>, that is--and he's kicking himself for never noticing all of her blip-blips and sweet potato casserole spaceships and all her other oddities that make her his female counterpart. He hopes and prays that the vanishing powder prank was a scam, though he should know from experience that everything around him is a scam. Methinks Carl is about to hit a revolution. Better start with making sure your bedroom door's lock works mighty well...<br />
<br />
At lunch, Dodie and Macie prod Ginger to the brink until she reveals why she's totally bummed out now. Ginger tells them that Ms. Zorski is making her go see the school shrink because of the poem, to which she reads out loud. It's a different section, one that's not as dark as the part we heard before, but still very impressive. I feel like this scene would illustrate Ginger's supposed depression much better if they had switched the section she reads in the cafeteria with the darker section she wrote in the kitchen.<br />
<br />
Hell, even <i>Miranda </i>starts to feel sorry for Ginger when she and Courtney lean over to read Ginger's poem, claiming she would have been a nicer bitch had she known Ginger was "clinically depressed."<br />
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<br />
Ginger's table is suddenly crowded with people, who I guess have nothing better to do than listen to a spontaneous poem reading. Ginger tries to explain to everyone that the poem is not about her, and that it's just fiction, but nobody believes her. Even Dodie and Macie are concerned, hoping that Ginger would come to them when, not if, she feels like jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge with two slabs of concrete chained to her ankles. What the hell, guys?<br />
<br />
Lois comes home toting a bag of groceries wondering why her children aren't pulling each other's hair out as usual. Ginger reveals the whole Zorski-psychologist-depression thing, but Lois doesn't have enough context to know who's in the right, so Ginger is left to deal with this on her own. Meanwhile, Carl continues to sulk in his own little pool of regret. Poor kid.<br />
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<br />
That night, while Lois is struggling to fit into junior department pantyhose, Ginger slides her poem under Lois's bedroom door for her to read. The scene then cuts to Doctor Leventhal talking to Ginger about her poem. She speculates that the feelings Ginger put into her poem are coming from real-life feelings she's suppressing, though it's rather irresponsible to make that assumption without actually looking into Ginger's mental history. I guess it's for the sake of speeding the episode along. Also, Doc, you could at least turn the lights on in that dank room, you know.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh80lskPBHO3UCpjne3cG1RJqjQVB5i6tFP-Jbl4ULQZs7KW1Eu5efGnlBSne8RDBpdttHjilqA9dcEwvmHalbEW0Nimf-LN9AEpMU5U87L-2MVxQu1fj33UwXqxWhm3KDE4k_811p6jvs/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh80lskPBHO3UCpjne3cG1RJqjQVB5i6tFP-Jbl4ULQZs7KW1Eu5efGnlBSne8RDBpdttHjilqA9dcEwvmHalbEW0Nimf-LN9AEpMU5U87L-2MVxQu1fj33UwXqxWhm3KDE4k_811p6jvs/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Are there times you wished you could disappear?" - Doctor Leventhal<br />
"Does right now count?" - Ginger</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
A piece of paper dramatically flutters under Noelle's empty desk, as she's absent from school the next day. Or, as Carl believes, she <i>vanished</i>. He tries to get answers from Mrs. Gordon about where Noelle is, but Mrs. Gordon is too busy with her lecture on Helen of Troy to answer. Carl asks a snarky question, which lands him a hallway lecture and possibly an ass beating for being disruptive. Oops, I forgot--they don't do that anymore.<br />
<br />
Ginger finds a poster taped to her locker for a "rap group" for other suicidal girls--possibly a way to stay "hip" with the trends. Ginger's like, "What the hell is this?!" but not before turning around to a melodramatic Courtney, donning black from head to toe. Do I really need to explain what she's doing? Come on, we've all known her long enough to know exactly what's going on here.<br />
<br />
Though I must say, she reminds me of Brittany Taylor from that one <i>Daria </i>episode...<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaqyN7WTgxj_kboYHjQYk0aWoYOE25Ip9GVaaUpq9oDCMRgq-SunZLJE65U_8AYLDTnhI_f52M7ftFIftci7LiXDl0rlTIA9b7gA4UPbZFSJjnssJCWhHijkSeNjL7dwndcNaRZ6XQghk/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaqyN7WTgxj_kboYHjQYk0aWoYOE25Ip9GVaaUpq9oDCMRgq-SunZLJE65U_8AYLDTnhI_f52M7ftFIftci7LiXDl0rlTIA9b7gA4UPbZFSJjnssJCWhHijkSeNjL7dwndcNaRZ6XQghk/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span><!--more--></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCzgIT80G5L5yTC8u2fs0VGz8EAqaVTPbkRTp_LWk0QS47o_dzkLxVD04YFbHccLLmW_sOOYz1W0aCPaK6qdeT_15WGbZakNiLWm4m1vRvio_0JuEvd7_tIsyQYTNj0v7MSqTKQZKz-CM/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCzgIT80G5L5yTC8u2fs0VGz8EAqaVTPbkRTp_LWk0QS47o_dzkLxVD04YFbHccLLmW_sOOYz1W0aCPaK6qdeT_15WGbZakNiLWm4m1vRvio_0JuEvd7_tIsyQYTNj0v7MSqTKQZKz-CM/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><span><!--more--></span><div>
Hoodsey takes Carl to the school library to check out Carl's favorite obscure reference book, <i>Entertaining Penguins</i>, to cheer him up. Unfortunately, Noelle had already checked it out, and I think I can see it in her desk in one of the screenshots I took. Carl is going absolutely crazy with his obsession with Noelle, thus he proclaims that he has to get her back. They can't just but the reversal potion because the store jacked the price back up. Son of a gun probably knew that placebo effect was going to take place. Capitalism! So, Carl decides that he should sell something of equal value to afford the potion and--no. He heads right for the petrified eyeball. No! Anything but the eyeball!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-vUO3fAOgiZoNSiyyuDBfweu1wAfx7c_8wgz07qKR_KIsF4WEeZOgF0KiRaZjUMFPjmVuoMlSD9jo8mvE7ufycgT1Mhr5QmZ1WrELqGA09cZ_g1CJBPKonPif5C1ShH_lHR4MQrwb374/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-vUO3fAOgiZoNSiyyuDBfweu1wAfx7c_8wgz07qKR_KIsF4WEeZOgF0KiRaZjUMFPjmVuoMlSD9jo8mvE7ufycgT1Mhr5QmZ1WrELqGA09cZ_g1CJBPKonPif5C1ShH_lHR4MQrwb374/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When Carl is considering selling his prized petrified eyeball, you know shit's serious.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Hoodsey desperately tries to talk him out of it, but Carl is more desperate than ever. So desperate, in fact, that he picks up the walkie-talkie and makes a call out to Blake--who will most definitely take the eyeball off Carl's hands for a competitive price. Jeez. This is what puberty does to little boys. They think irrational thoughts and perform irrational actions all for a girl as weird and icky as they are. Say, Hoods, how's your crush on Macie doing? Do you still dress up as Burl Forkenshtock and drop love notes in her locker?<br />
<br />
Lois comes into the kitchen, questioning whether or not to put mayo on her next sandwich, and tells Ginger about all the ghostly chills she got from reading her poem. Ginger then asks her if she thinks it all points to depression and ill-thoughts and whatnot, but Lois, to Ginger's surprise, says, "No. You're a bright, sensitive young woman. The kind of person who understands peoples' feelings, which is why you can write about them so beautifully."<br />
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<br />
D'aww. That makes Ginger feel a hell of a lot better--it's the kind of advice that is so desperately needed to be told to us writers. A lot of us are shy and observant, secretly listening in on others' conversations so we can use their style of speech as dialogue for our next story. We're also the kind of people who steal from our own dramatic experiences to help us write a more realistic dramatic experience for our characters. And some writers, like me, won't find solace in writing out our own issues in a journal entry. I personally prefer to shove all of my problems into one of my characters, and then have her play it out in the story so I can figure out what to do (or even avoid what to say!).<br />
<br />
Lois tells Ginger not to listen to Ms. Zorski or Doctor Leventhal, no matter how much they think they know about child psychology, and that she can always talk to Lois if she has a problem. I have never seen Ginger so relieved before, and this warm mother-daughter moment where Ginger is thankful for being "normal" is so bittersweet. Why? So many kids vie to be someone other than just a passing face in the school hallway, deathly afraid of being labeled "normal." Heck, I once called one of my high school friends normal, and he was offended beyond belief. I couldn't understand it. Everyone wants to be strange, to be unique, but what will happen when being strange suddenly stops being unique?<br />
<br />
Perhaps it goes in a cycle. Think of "typical" 1950s teenage fashion. For boys, it was a short, styled hair cut, button-up shirt, and a cardigan sweater. For girls, it was a long, flowing skirt with a cardigan sweater, also. Man, cardigan was big in the 50s, wasn't it? Most kids were wearing these clothes in that time because it was the style. It was considered normal to dress this way. Now, imagine someone in your school today walked in dressed like a teen straight off the set of <i>Grease. </i>Now <i>they're </i>the one considered strange. Eventually, a new trend will become so ubiquitous that it'll no longer be considered shocking or out of the ordinary. It's also like when you walk into a really smelly room, but stay there long enough not to notice it anymore.<br />
<br />
Ooh, boy, that was quite a rant.<br />
<br />
Anyway, Ginger walks into the rap group and we catch the tail end of Courtney making up bullshit about being upset when people don't ask to borrow her styling products. Doctor Leventhal is totally onto her, and instead of feeding her ego, busts it wide open when she considers instead discussing Courtney's perpetual need to be the center of attention all the damn time.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6I1LAcEv7z0h9cUwcsSkN0dDKbKh4J1MdAs5r5m6QeCpFMZV9_NxCr1v29F8eOoAd0P6uQV2H_VtrwzOI-lF1kLySF9F6qwMpDDOF3uIAJgH-8a8kxbf9N-_SdepEWFtUuBsbQYZs5vk/s1600/1.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6I1LAcEv7z0h9cUwcsSkN0dDKbKh4J1MdAs5r5m6QeCpFMZV9_NxCr1v29F8eOoAd0P6uQV2H_VtrwzOI-lF1kLySF9F6qwMpDDOF3uIAJgH-8a8kxbf9N-_SdepEWFtUuBsbQYZs5vk/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ha! I can answer that one for you, Doc.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br /></div><div>
Right as Mrs. Gordon distributes an exam on Helen of Troy, Carl saunters into the room--reversal potion in-hand--and pours it beneath Noelle's desk in hopes of bringing her back.<br />
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<br />
Mrs. Gordon is like, "What the fuck do you think you're doing, you little shit?!" Carl dramatically explains the situation, to which Mrs. Gordon replies back that Noelle had actually transferred schools due to being moved across town. Now, I don't know if this is the reversal potion working in Carl's mind or if it's Carl's realization that he never vanished her to begin with. Either way, he's so overjoyed that he runs out of the classroom, his heart a-flutter, his balls a-blue-ing.<br />
<br />
Carl finds Noelle sitting in her new school courtyard reading the <i>Entertaining Penguins </i>book, and Carl begins to recite a few lines from it, too. They share a mutual coy gaze, and it's really quite cute, especially when this happens:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Where have you been all my life?" - Carl</td></tr>
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That night, Ginger reflects on her poem. In her journal, she writes how the protagonist in her poem is merely a collection of everyone around her, including herself, and that writing that poem allowed her to explore a part of her that she never thought she had. She also says that even if she doesn't win the contest, she already feels like she won. I know, totally cliche and cheesy. But at least the episode ends with Ginger fantasizing about having her poem published with a big ole anthology.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>don't assume someone is depressed based on what they write; your soulmate could literally be sitting right next to you and you don't even know it--you just have to look a little more closely<br />
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That's it for season 2, you guys! At least, I hope it is--according to the ATBG Wiki page, season 3 kicks off with "Far From Home." Anyway, I hope you're enjoying the site. Keep in mind that season 3 is the last season of the series, so the site will unfortunately come to an end this fall. But, never fear! I'll be posting a few more bonus posts after the last episode, "The Wedding Frame," so it won't end so abruptly. I will definitely be cushioning the end of this blog like the good person I am.<br />
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However, because "Far From Home" is another 3-part episode, I won't be reviewing that episode on Sunday. I'll need the extra time to watch and review it. Instead, I'll post a surprise bonus post.<br />
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Stay tuned...</div><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span><span><!--more--></span>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3955655124826249224.post-22653490239333090852015-05-10T20:59:00.002-04:002022-10-23T09:34:03.085-04:00Season 2, Episode 39: "Driven to Extremes"Happy Mother's Day to all those mothers out there! And Happy New Review Day!<br />
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Ms. Zorski is out with some exotic flu for a while, which apparently gives the students the O-K to run around the room like chickens with their heads cut off. Chet joins in the revelries of substitutes past, mocking one sub who had let the kids run loose during a fire drill, and his voice is... different. This is the first time I've heard Chet without his signature monotonous drawl. Ehh, I'm not comfortable with this...<br />
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Suddenly, some old hag barges into the room--the substitute--and she looks ready to rip off someone's eyebrows.<br />
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She's obviously been subbing for a <i>long </i>time, because she's totally onto these kids and their undisciplined behavior. Everyone simultaneously shits their pants when the sub demands that they push their desks to the wall so they can "minimize distractions."<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I don't know about you, but I know that I'd be highly distracted by the thought of this sub possibly hiding a shotgun under her dress.</td></tr>
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At recess, Carl complains about how bored he is, and that state of mind is instantly nullified by Higsby trying to stuff his poor monkey into another embarrassing costume for public exploitation and entertainment. Carl overhears that Higsby is trying to enter Mr. Licorice into a "best pet" talent show, and I guess Carl must be pretty damn desperate because he goes over to inquire about this. Higsby also mentions that there's a $500 prize, instantly sealing Carl's interest. Jeez, what happened to all that money you made last episode, Carl? Don't be so greedy. Anyway, Higsby wonders why Mr. Licorice refuses to practice Higsby's lame costume and dance act, to which Hoodsey replies that it's fucking embarrassing, that's why.<br />
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Carl makes Higsby a deal--he will give Mr. Licorice a new act to perform, in exchange for the prize money. At first, Higsby's like, "That's extortion, Carl." Uh, no. Extortion would be if Carl held a machete in front of your face and demanded the prize money. Carl uses his magical manipulation skills to convince Higsby to give him the gig, and Higsby agrees.<br />
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All right, this old hag has gone off the deep end, and we're not even five minutes into the episode. The principal needs to come in and see this shit because it's unbelievable. She has them sitting facing the wall in the dark spitting out these anal-clenching rules only Ms. Trunchbull from <i>Matilda</i> would approve of. No talking, no laughing, no smiling, no <i>breathing... </i>well, she stops herself there because even she knows that would basically kill them. Chet clears his throat and is immediately slammed with a 500-word essay on Czechoslovakian poetry. Seriously? Who honestly does this? It's as if she hates kids altogether. Though it's kind of funny when she tells them "No exchanging distressed looks with your fellow students!" It's that line where it's painfully obvious that she's just doing this for shits and giggles. Sociopath? Sadist? Off her meds? The world may never know!<br />
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Apparently, Carl's idea to eradicate Higsby's lame costume and dance sequence is to create an equally-humiliating costume and dance sequence. But oh, this is different. Mr. Licorice is doing the Can-Can in Ginger's skirt. So original and <i>so </i>unlike Higsby's idea in every way, shape, and form.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Carl is really beginning to lose his edge. He's been hanging around Higsby too much.</td></tr>
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Carl challenges Ginger's suggestion for Mr. Licorice to do something less lame, so he takes the boys and the monkey up to his room to form a new plan.<br />
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Chet runs into the room with a full-on heart attack because he arrived to class on-time instead of early like everyone else was ordered to. The class starts talking to each other about how the sub (whose name is revealed to be Mrs. Grimley) is totally ruining their lives. Macie pulls down her collar and shows everyone the hives she broke out in from Mrs. Grimley's panic-attack inducing verbal abuse. Everyone is grossed out, except for one kid who I think says, "I wanna see it!" Ginger reassures everyone that Ms. Zorski will come back soon, but apparently not soon enough because Mrs. Grimley barges in and announces that Ms. Zorski will be out for another three weeks. Why do I get the feeling Mrs. Grimley had something to do with her quarantine? But if she's actually that sick, then there has to be a bug going around. Why aren't more people under quarantine?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She reminds me of my 7th/8th grade social studies teacher.</td></tr>
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Carl finds a pair of shades and a tiny leather jacket in Higsby's room while trying to come up with a radical act for Mr. Licorice. The gears are turning, but he doesn't have a solid idea just yet. Honestly, dressing up animals in<i> anything</i> is just lame. They're entertaining enough with their own naked selves.<br />
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Courtney asks Ginger to pass a note to Miranda, who is reluctant to do so for obvious reasons. But Courtney insists because "it's an emergency." All three get caught, naturally, and Mrs. Grimley reads the note aloud to see what this "emergency" is: Miranda's shirt tag is sticking out. Better call 9-1-1! That's a fashion faux pas that'll send even the trendiest fashionistas into a coma. In response, Mrs. Grimley assigns Courtney, Ginger, and Miranda to a 17,000-word essay on the invention of the cotton gin. Come on, girls. You have to realize that she's just fucking with you. I bet she won't even read them. And despite the fact that a 70-page essay (assuming this is to be written in Times New Roman, size 12, double-spaced font), I hate how teachers sometimes assign writing as a punishment. I mean, look at what I do in my spare time--write. No wonder why so many kids hate writing. If I were them, I'd write "A 17,000-word essay on the cotton gin" at the top of a page, nothing else, and hand that in. Yay for smart-assery!<br />
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I never had a horrible sub before, just horrible teachers. And even they didn't assign these hyperbolic written punishments when we were acting up. They just yelled at us or made us write "I will not _______" twenty times on a piece of paper. People like Mrs. Grimley just like the illusion of power.<br />
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Anyway, Miranda has had enough, so she calls a "class meeting" after school to organize a plan of revenge. Courtney suggests T.P.ing her house. For those of you who don't know, T.P.ing someone's house is when you take rolls of toilet paper and "decorate" their house with it. It's a form of vandalism, though relatively harmless compared to throwing eggs, water balloons, and drive-by shootings.<br />
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Ginger is skeptical because doing that is grounds for expulsion, so Courtney suggests crepe paper instead, which is <i>totally </i>different. Everyone agrees to the plan, except for Ginger. Why don't these kids just hide a videocamera in the classroom, record Mrs. Grimley being verbally abusive, and show Principal Milty just how much of a power-trip she is? That would certainly do more damage than a bunch of paper strewn all over her yard.<br />
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Then again, this is <i>Principal Milty </i>we're talking about. Who knows if it'll even work? Ahh, it's still a better idea.<br />
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Ginger pulls Dodie and Macie aside and asks them if they're seriously going to go through with this stupid prank. Macie's like, "Hell yeah, that bitch is going <i>down!</i>" while inching her way up a tree. Ginger's obviously outnumbered and under the influence of peer pressure, so she reluctantly agrees to go through with the plan.<br />
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After much time, creativity, and patience, Carl unveils Mr. Licorice--motorcycle monkey of mischief:<br />
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Unfortunately, Mr. Licorice doesn't know how to ride this thing, so him constantly falling off is detrimental to him winning. Carl is confident that Mr. Licorice will be great with a little more practice.<br />
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Over a three-way phone call, Dodie mentions that, in addition to the T.P.ing, they'll be pelting Ms. Grimley with raw eggs. Ginger is now totally uncomfortable with this, and I can understand. This is America--you don't throw raw eggs at people; you sue them down to their last penny!<br />
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No, but seriously, this kind of peer pressure is complicated. For Ginger to not be on their side, they'll assume that she's on Mrs. Grimley's side, which I know is not true. It's all association--Grimley = evil, class = good. If Ginger's not with the class, she's against them. I just wish Ginger could suggest secretly filming Mrs. Grimley in action. I mean, by not doing anything at all, she's just allowing the abuse to continue further. And who knows what else Mrs. Grimley is capable of? Soon, she might start spanking kids for dropping their pencils the wrong way.<br />
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Carl is having trouble getting Mr. Licorice to stay on the motorcycle for more than a few seconds at a time. I don't blame Mr. Licorice for getting frustrated, considering Carl is pushing him too hard.<br />
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Ginger announces that she's out, and Miranda calls her a loser. Dodie and Macie decide not to take sides, so they're hailed as losers, too. Whatever. I'd rather be called a loser than possibly getting expelled from school.<br />
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Mr. Licorice has had enough, so he kicks down the motorcycle, throws mud (or his own shit) at Carl, and goes <i>bananas</i>. He's been doing this a lot lately, I've noticed. Poor monkey.<br />
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Perhaps this is a sign that Mr. Licorice is better off at the zoo than with either of these bozos. Maybe then he'll be better taken care of. Higsby fires Carl, and goes back to his original, embarrassing dance idea. Carl gets greatly offended, claiming that Higsby will eventually come crawling back to him. And when Hoodsey tells Carl that he's the reason Mr. Licorice snapped, Carl's like, "Hell no, what are you smoking?" Hoodsey's right, Carl; you <i>do </i>spaz when you disagree with him.<br />
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At Dodie's sleepover, Ginger feels guilty that she didn't take a big enough stand in stopping the T.P.ing, so she decides to go to Ms. Grimley's house to stop the prank. Wait, I thought they were using crepe paper; why did they switch back to toilet paper? Anyway, she figures that she's too late to stop the T.P.ing, so she hopes to stop the egging.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How did these kids know where her house is? And how did their parents let them out this time at night?</td></tr>
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Courtney gushes to Miranda how exhilarating it is to be a delinquent. Poor girl. So, Ginger shows up right as everyone is about to hurl their eggs, and tries and fails to convince everyone to call the whole thing off. Come on, Ginger. They're already here. Do you honestly think you're going to convince twenty kids to be civil towards a sub who treated them like the shit in their septic tanks? Hell no. You have to do better than that. But Ginger isn't letting this go. Chet rings the doorbell, Mrs. Grimley opens the door, and Ginger runs in front of her, taking the blunt of the eggs.<br />
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After the kids run off, Mrs. Grimley figures out what's going on, and surveys the "damage." Ginger asks why Mrs. Grimley's reaction is so lackluster, since the kids at school <i>hate </i>her, to which Mrs. Grimley replies that she doesn't give a shit what a bunch of 12-year-olds think of her, and hasn't for a long time. So, my theory was right! She just loves the power trip. She tells Ginger goodnight, and slams the door shut, leaving Ginger in a state of shock, awe, and anger all mixed into a new adult state of mind called apathy. Dodie and Macie catch up to Ginger and tell her that Courtney and Miranda are going to be mad that she ruined their prank, and Ginger replies that she doesn't give a shit herself, which might possibly be the most character development I've ever seen this quickly.<br />
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Hoodsey manages to drag Carl to the pet talent show after all. When Mr. Licorice's turn is up, he straight-up refuses to perform the embarrassing dance in his sailor suit. The audience starts booing, Higsby desperately pleads with Mr. Licorice to start dancing, and things are getting uglier by the second. That's when Mr. Licorice takes Higsby's piccolo out of his hands and starts playing a soulful tune that resembles a sped-up version of the end tune to <i>The Boondocks</i><i>. </i>Now <i>that's </i>talent!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Huey and Riley Freeman would probably think this tune is fly.</td></tr>
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The audience, though, doesn't find this as amazing as I do, apparently, because one guy turns to the girl next to him and gives Mr. Licorice's performance a thumbs-down. Shoot, if I saw a monkey do this, I'd be mesmerized. It's a friggin' monkey playing a friggin' piccolo, people! How is that not amazing?!<br />
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Carl comes by, after learning all Mr. Licorice wanted to do was jam, and tells Higsby that both of them tried to turn Mr. Licorice into their own literal pet project, but Higsby doesn't want to admit that he was doing something wrong. He takes his monkey and leaves, hopefully for the last time, because I really do not like this kid.<br />
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Ginger walks into class with Dodie and Macie, who try to cover Ginger's ass by telling the class that she didn't rat the T.P. culprits out. Ginger has a scowl on her face the whole time, from walking into the class to pushing her desk back to the front of the room. Everyone looks at her like she's insane. Nope, she's just tired of taking the backseat to everyone's shenanigans. Mrs. Grimley walks into the room and asks Ginger what the fuck she's doing with her desk turned back to its original position, threatening to give her one of her famous extra-long essays. But Ginger's like a honey badger, see, and honey badgers <i>don't care.</i><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Bring it on. I have a lot to say." - Ginger</td></tr>
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The class is astonished, looking on at Ginger's rebellion with total jealousy and fear. Ginger completely explodes at this woman, telling her that she'll take on 30,000 words if it means getting to say everything she needs to to tell this power-hungry bitch that she's no replacement for Ms. Zorski. The other kids in the class are so inspired by Ginger's confidence that they all move their desks back to the center of the room.<br />
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Oh, but it doesn't stop there. She straight-up tells Mrs. Grimley that it's not her job to "pretend" to be a teacher, and that everyone should have given her Hell from the first day she started barking orders like a tyrant. Damn, Ginger. You might as well just say she has no business being around children. I'd definitely say that Ginger has been driven to extremes, hence the episode title. She continues on and on, delivering plenty of much-needed retaliation, but ultimately ends up in detention.<br />
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<b>Lessons Learned From This Episode: </b>stand up to your tyrannical teachers; peer pressure sucks; you can lead a monkey to a banana, but you can't make him peel it, chew it, and spit it out at your visitors.</div>Deebiedoobiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08844061498788550706noreply@blogger.com4