Note: Sorry to any of you who have been following this blog daily that this is being posted so late. As I'm rapidly approaching the day I return back to college, I'm only going to have time to post these on a weekly basis instead of a daily basis. After today's post, new reviews will be posted every Monday.
Also, I am in the process of reverting all the screenshots from .png to.jpeg. So, if you haven't been able to see the screenshots before, you will soon.
Anyway, onward to the review:
I was hoping we'd finally get to an episode that wasn't centered around bullying and manipulation (except for the subplot), and today's my lucky day. Today, my fellow Luckians, we're presented with a plot about picture day and self-image. And, just for the occasion, this post will have extra screenshots!
The episode opens up with Chet Zipper's exciting voice rumbling over the PA to announce that the date of school picture day has been changed to this Friday. Courtney flips out because it's two weeks earlier than scheduled, which means that face lift she ordered three months in advance will have to be pushed up sooner. No pun intended. Ginger complains how she totally hates picture day. Miranda pops her head in between Ginger and Macie and is like, "Well then, y'all better get some deep beauty sleep." Yeah, she called them ugly. How low must one girl go just to make herself feel better about herself? Miranda ain't exactly Megan Fox, though, know what I mean?
At Ginger's house, the trio goes through a box of old school photos, complaining about how butt-ugly they were.
Macie compares her photo to her dead great aunt, who apparently never married, so she's probably going to follow the same fate as well. Aww. Dodie tries to rectify their problem by saying, "All school photos suck, it's practically the law," right as Ginger flips open a scrapbook to a giant picture of Courtney. Now I know for a fact that is not a yearbook:
Among all the self-hatred, the phone rings. It's Lois, who asks Ginger to run down to the drugstore to pick up anti-fungal cream for her achy, smelly, nurse feet. They supposedly ran out at the hospital (why would a hospital run out of that kind of stuff?) otherwise she'd get it herself. The girls are all grossed out thinking about Lois's feet now, but they head down to the store, anyway. Since they're only about 12, they have no idea where to start looking for the anti-fungal cream, even though there should be signs over every aisle to direct them. Macie suggests Ginger asks someone, but Ginger's like, "So you want me to go up to an employee and be all like, "Where do you keep all the foot creams and shit?"" A teenage employee overhears her and directs her to the correct aisle. See, now that wasn't so hard.
Look who happens to be at that very same drugstore at the very exact time:
They start talking about make-up, and even pull the conversation towards Ginger when she and the girls round the corner. After Courtney and Miranda leave, Dodie suddenly gets an idea--they should try out some make-up for their school photos. So, after they get the cream, they head for the make-up aisle. They pick up various face masks, only to scoff at the outrageously high prices.
Back at the Foutley household, Carl and Hoodsey hold a staring contest with wild west showdown music in the background.
They argue over whether or not Carl blinked, and then Hoodsey makes Carl smell his feet to see if that's what made his eyes all watery. The trio comes back from shopping, giggling and laughing, and get all grossed out when they notice a stink in the air. Ginger assumes it's Carl, but Dodie says that it's Hoodsey's feet that's burning holes in their nostrils. Hoodsey asks Carl if he could borrow Lois's anti-fungal cream, and Carl says to wait until she gets home, because her bathroom is off-limits. And Carl says it in a way that lets you know that it's central to the plot.
The boys pull the garbage can to the curb, right as their family-friend, Dwayne, rolls up in his garbage truck.
The boys drool over all the "cool" trash Dwayne mentions that finds on his job. Dwayne invites them to come garbage picking with him early tomorrow morning, which they excitedly agree to do. Sure, what else do ten-year-old boys do at five o'clock in the morning, anyway?
The trio sneaks into Lois's room and right as Ginger opens the door to the bathroom, her guilty conscience kicks in. She questions why they should go inside, but Dodie shows her the old goofy picture of her as a reminder, thus allowing Ginger to break the threshold of preteenhood. They turn on the light to Lois's bathroom and are instantly mesmerized by how gorgeous and fuzzy it is.
You would think that Lois would use all the money she put into that bathroom to fix up the rest of the house, but I guess she needs her own fancy bathroom instead. "Screw the children, I need my own fancy bathroom!" Nah, I'm only kidding. Dodie and Macie go straight for Lois's make-up and start playing with it like they're children.
Some time goes by, and the girls have made themselves over. They look like they belong on Toddlers and Tiaras with all that color caked onto their faces.
It's all fun and games, until they hear Lois's car pulling up into the driveway. They freak the fuck out, slapping caps back on and twisting lids closed before Lois sees the huge mess they made. Lois comes in the house, sorting through mail, and kicking Carl and Hoodsey out of the refrigerator after watching them scarf down leftover lasagna like they're starving. Ginger, Dodie, and Macie make much more noise than they need to running up the stairs, which alerts Lois that they're around. She notices her bedroom door is open, and becomes increasingly suspicious. She heads into her room, looking for any infractions, then into the bathroom, marching back and forth like an army general. It's like she knows.
On the counter, she spots a tube of lipstick that wasn't closed all the way. Uh-oh!
While Macie hyperventilates into one of her many paper bags, Ginger and Dodie press their ears up to Ginger's door and Lois very nicely asks if she can come in. The girls quickly get into position on Ginger's bed, burying their faces into teeny-bopper magazines.
Lois comes in and asks if the girls had fun hanging out, and Ginger's like, "Yeah, totally." Then Lois asks what they did, inferring that she knows they've been playing with her make-up, and the best that Ginger can come up with is card games you'd play with old people. At least try to make it convincing. Oh, why bother; you can see the Pop-My-Cherry Red lipstick on Ginger's lips from a mile away.
So, Lois eventually stops beating around the bush and tells Ginger that she knows they've been using her make-up, though I don't see why she would have to say so, it's literally right there on their faces!
After the commercial break, Ginger and the girls wash off their faces in the bathroom. Ginger tells Lois that she's tired of looking like a foot for her school pictures every year, and asks her for a little bit of sympathy. Lois is like, "Hell no, you girls don't need make-up. You're fine the way you are." Ginger pretends to be like, "Oh, all right," and then Lois tells them to keep out of her bathroom.
At five o'clock the next morning, Carl and Hoodsey stand outside freezing their asses off waiting for Dwayne to arrive. Darren rides up to them during his paper route and asks them what they're doing out there.
He catches on pretty quickly that they're waiting for Dwayne, so he tells them to say hi for him. At that moment, Dwayne arrives and picks up the boys for a day of diggin' in some garbage. He takes them up to Courtney's neighborhood, Protected Pines, first. The camera pans to Blake in front of the Griplings' McMansion giving a eulogy to a light blue blanket before stuffing it into the trash can.
Carl and Hoodsey spot him leaping over the fence (why didn't he just go around it?) but didn't see him throwing the blanket out, so they decide to investigate by digging through Gripling Garbage. Hoodsey scores a food processor, and questions whether it's what Blake threw away. It's not until Carl does some digging in the adjacent trash can that he discovers Blake's baby blanket. Ooh, scandalous!
Hey, wait a second--those are completely different garbage cans from a previous episode. Remember in "Of Lice and Friends," the Griplings had a plain trash can?
A continuity error! Well, either that, or the Griplings thought their trash cans were too much like those of the poor, so they upgraded. I can see them doing that.
At lunch, Ginger and Dodie flip through some whore-ifying magazines, swapping eccentric beauty tricks and what not. Macie can't help but to be engrossed in some sort of Hamster's Digest mag. Silly child. An article about making your own make-up from household items catches Ginger's eye, and Dodie makes this face that I just have to post because of reasons:
Macie's like, "But Ginger, your mom said you couldn't wear make-up." But Ginger tries to justify that it's not make-up, but in fact "crushed crayons, petroleum jelly, berries..." I guess I can see where it's not make-up. Who needs fish scales and unknown chemicals when you can slap on some Crayola-scented lube?
Anyway, after school, the girls run into Ginger's room with all the ingredients they need. Some freaky background music comes on as Macie throws on a jacket and plays Doctor Frankenstein, complete with an adorable evil laugh.
Carl and Hoodsey run into Darren on their way back from the Griplings' McMansion. Darren's like, "Find any cool garbage this morning?" And Carl's like, "I don't know what you're talking about." But Darren tells them that he knows all about what they're doing because when he was younger, he too hitched a ride on Dwayne's garbage truck in the wee hours of the morning going God knows where picking up God knows what. So, Carl and Hoodsey decide to go back to the Griplings to play a little prank on Blake. Why couldn't they just stay there instead of going home and then immediately coming all the way back? It doesn't make sense. Whatever. So, Blake is in his treehouse reenacting the final death scene from Macbeth or something. Below him, Carl instructs Hoodsey to launch a mini-radio via slingshot around a nearby tree branch. Then, he tosses the blanket too covering the radio. Carl then starts to speak through the blanket, scaring Blake into thinking it's haunted and wants Blake back. Then the boys run off after they had their fun.
Blake hovers angrily over the fence as he vows to take revenge on Carl. Then the boys run all the way into the doghouse and position themselves so that it looks like they've been there the whole time. Blake chases after them, and is befuddled that they got there so quick.
So, Carl looks at him and is like, "Oh, Blake, what brings you here?" Blake is totally onto them, livid at how low he's sunk. Carl continues to play dumb until Blake actually has to spell it out for him. That blanket is one of Blake's most embarrassing possessions and, instead of giving it to charity or some poor dumpster baby who could really use it, or even back to his mother where she could put it somewhere in that big ass McMansion, he wants it destroyed and invisible to the eyes of mankind. But since Blake knows Carl wouldn't dream of wasting a blackmail opportunity, especially on a Gripling, Blake bribes him with cold, hard cash. Carl doesn't want any of his money, so he instead turns to Hoodsey, who pulls out a pre-made list of demands and reads them off to Blake. They include wearing novelty bunny ears whenever Carl demands, being a moving target for his water balloon abuse, and install carpeting in the doghouse... by hand. They all seem rather tame to me (except for the carpet installing one; that just sounds like slave labor) but Blake sinks to his knees at the thought of pleasing Carl.
Ding! The DIY make-up is ready, so Macie pulls it out of Ginger's easy-bake oven (Hey, remember those? Everyone in the early 2000s, and possibly earlier, had one of those babies. Baking mini cakes using a tiny lightbulb inside a plastic box was all the rage back then! I just hated that purple grabby stick. First of all, the cakes were so tiny, you could eat them in one or two bites. And the purple grabbing stick would constantly get stuck in that little slit where you put in and pull out the cakes. But golly, they were delicious!).
Except, it's not really "make-up" since they're not allowed to wear it. So Ginger decides to call it "fake-up," because that's totally different, right?
Sometime later at the Griplings', Mrs. Gripling goes absolutely bonkers wondering where Blake's baby blanket is. Blake doesn't even try to act concerned about it, which, doesn't make Mrs. Gripling the least bit suspicious. She tells Blake that his blanket was a family heirloom that will be passed down to his child if he ever manages to attract a female with his personality. Uh-oh. But how did he not know that already?
School picture day has arrived, so the trio dramatically heads for the bathroom to apply their melted Crayola-berry-Vaseline goop. This cannot end well. Down in the cafeteria, the crowd cheers for Courtney against generic catwalk music as she poses extremely inappropriately for her pictures. There's even a fan to blow back her hair. The camera guy just loooooves her, which is really uncomfortable if you think about it.
Even Miranda gets jealous! Please, girl, you wish you were Courtney Gripling.
The music suddenly stops right as Miranda looks over to her left and sees these three walking in:
OO
Okay, I have so many things to say about this, but I'll just let the photo speak for itself. Ginger is called up first. She nervously sits down, and the cameraman tells her to give her something "fun," and I guess this is the epitome of "fun":
After their pictures are taken, the trio runs back into the bathroom to take another look at their artwork. Macie's like, "We were HOT," and I can't stop laughing at the way she says it because between Macie's stuffy voice and her innocent facade, it just seems so unnatural. But in a cute way. Dodie is confident that these are the best pictures they've ever taken, which only further serves the idea that these girls think that they're ugly. They never actually say it on the show, but if they think that all that "fake-up" is what qualifies them for better pictures, then they definitely have some screwed up self-esteem problems which was more than likely triggered by Miranda calling them ugly in the beginning of the episode. Ginger, I thought I told you to stop trusting Miranda. Every time you hear her speak, just throw your hands over your ears and do that childish, "La-la-la, I can't hear you" bit. Trust me, she'll get the message. But you know, Courtney's airbrushed glam shots probably didn't help the girls' self-esteem either, which is why they can't see just how awful they look because they've also painted themselves rose-colored glasses.
Back in the doghouse, Blake begrudgingly staples down a roll of red carpet in the doghouse. Carl decides to have some fun toying with little Blakey, so he demands that Blake steam clean the carpet as well, and if he refuses, the world will know about his baby blanket. Blake throws down the stapler and rues the day he allowed Carl to manipulate him like that, but you kinda have to feel for the kid. He's only seven years old, so of course he would be embarrassed to still have a baby blanket with him. But what I don't understand is why he doesn't just give it to Mrs. Gripling, or Winston, or Courtney to put it somewhere where he can't see it. It's never mentioned why exactly he hates the blanket so much, because it has to go beyond embarrassment of possessing it. Suddenly, a piece of wood moves out of the way on the doghouse door, and Darren peeks through, having heard the whole conversation. He tells Carl that this is the lowest he's ever sunk and then turns to Blake with a promise to keep his secret safe.
I
I don't know why Blake would trust some stranger to keep his secret safe, but it doesn't matter anyway because Darren is supposedly a trustworthy fellow, so I'm guessing we're supposed to believe it just for the sake of the plot. After Blake leaves, Darren tells Carl and Hoodsey that they've been acting like assholes ever since they hitched a ride with Dwayne. Man, Darren hasn't been around here much, has he? Anyway, Darren tells Carl to knock off the Miranda act otherwise he will tell everyone (everyone who?) about the little stuffed lamb he used to drag around when he was little. When Hoodsey starts to make fun of him for the lamb, Carl breaks down out of embarrassment and steps off. So, I guess the lesson here is to fight fire with fire? Or fight blankie with lambie?
At a school function sometime in the very near future, Mrs. Gordon tells Lois about what a rotten little turd Carl is, and that he would benefit marvelously in an obedience school for dogs. Damn, that's an awful thing to say about one of your students, Mrs. Gordon. If Lois didn't agree with you, she'd probably file a lawsuit against you. Strangely, Lois was under the impression that Mrs. Gordon found him "charming," why she believed Carl is beyond me. As Lois walks away, facepalming and all, she runs into Ms. Zorski, who gives her Ginger's school photo to take home. She offers Lois a sneak peek, which probably wasn't such a good idea:
A
At home, Lois slams down the photos on the kitchen table and grounds Ginger indefinitely. Ginger tries to tell Lois that the make-up is all fake, so she didn't actually break the rules, like the foundation being made of gravy and the blush being made out of cranberries, but Lois is like, "I don't give a flying fuck. Now go to your room!" After Ginger leaves with tears in her eyes, the microwave dings, and Lois pulls out a plate of mashed potatoes. She mumbles about how stupid the idea of homemade make-up is, and then pours the gravy foundation onto her potatoes. She takes a bite and stares at it for a moment before replying, "Hmm, needs blush." Bahaha!
The next morning at five, Carl hands Dwayne the baby blanket, and Dwayne takes it off to the dump, where it'll be crushed, maimed, and processed among tons and tons of rotting garbage. Darren is proud of Carl for doing the right thing, but Carl gets all emotional, so he runs to the doghouse, pulls out his stuffed lamb from under the floorboards, and gives it a snuggle. D'awww. Now that's cute.
O
Once their rose-colored glasses fall off, the trio finally realizes how terrible they looked with the Thanksgiving side dishes clogging their pores. Ginger realizes that they were just better off being themselves, though I think the real moral to this story is to learn how to apply make-up so you don't look like prostitutes. At least they'll be able to retake their pictures soon. No way would they ever live it down if those pictures landed in their next yearbook.
One thing I don't understand about Lois is that she bans Ginger from doing normal teenage stuff, with no real explanation. Shave her legs? Fuhgeddaboudit. Use make-up? Get outta here! This is probably why Ginger goes overboard and makes tons of mistakes when she goes behind Lois's back. I understand that Lois may think she's not ready for these things, but by banning shaving and make-up outright, how will she ever learn to do those things herself? What would benefit Ginger more is if Lois taught her how to shave and how to apply make-up properly so that Lois wouldn't have to worry so much about Ginger screwing up. This could also be due to Lois's realization that her only daughter growing up, and just wants to squeeze all the youth she can out of her. I don't think Lois is a bad mom, nor do I think she was completely wrong. I just think that by teaching Ginger how to do these "grown-up" things, she can prevent a lot of the stress of empty shaving cream cans and ruined school pictures.
Lessons Learned From This Episode: learn how to apply make-up so you don't end up looking like the shining examples above; you don't need make-up to make yourself look bettter
Also, I am in the process of reverting all the screenshots from .png to.jpeg. So, if you haven't been able to see the screenshots before, you will soon.
Anyway, onward to the review:
I was hoping we'd finally get to an episode that wasn't centered around bullying and manipulation (except for the subplot), and today's my lucky day. Today, my fellow Luckians, we're presented with a plot about picture day and self-image. And, just for the occasion, this post will have extra screenshots!
The episode opens up with Chet Zipper's exciting voice rumbling over the PA to announce that the date of school picture day has been changed to this Friday. Courtney flips out because it's two weeks earlier than scheduled, which means that face lift she ordered three months in advance will have to be pushed up sooner. No pun intended. Ginger complains how she totally hates picture day. Miranda pops her head in between Ginger and Macie and is like, "Well then, y'all better get some deep beauty sleep." Yeah, she called them ugly. How low must one girl go just to make herself feel better about herself? Miranda ain't exactly Megan Fox, though, know what I mean?
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| Bitch. |
Macie compares her photo to her dead great aunt, who apparently never married, so she's probably going to follow the same fate as well. Aww. Dodie tries to rectify their problem by saying, "All school photos suck, it's practically the law," right as Ginger flips open a scrapbook to a giant picture of Courtney. Now I know for a fact that is not a yearbook:
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| Why does Ginger have that giant picture of Courtney, though? |
Among all the self-hatred, the phone rings. It's Lois, who asks Ginger to run down to the drugstore to pick up anti-fungal cream for her achy, smelly, nurse feet. They supposedly ran out at the hospital (why would a hospital run out of that kind of stuff?) otherwise she'd get it herself. The girls are all grossed out thinking about Lois's feet now, but they head down to the store, anyway. Since they're only about 12, they have no idea where to start looking for the anti-fungal cream, even though there should be signs over every aisle to direct them. Macie suggests Ginger asks someone, but Ginger's like, "So you want me to go up to an employee and be all like, "Where do you keep all the foot creams and shit?"" A teenage employee overhears her and directs her to the correct aisle. See, now that wasn't so hard.
Look who happens to be at that very same drugstore at the very exact time:
They start talking about make-up, and even pull the conversation towards Ginger when she and the girls round the corner. After Courtney and Miranda leave, Dodie suddenly gets an idea--they should try out some make-up for their school photos. So, after they get the cream, they head for the make-up aisle. They pick up various face masks, only to scoff at the outrageously high prices.
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| Beauty doesn't come cheap. |
The boys pull the garbage can to the curb, right as their family-friend, Dwayne, rolls up in his garbage truck.
The boys drool over all the "cool" trash Dwayne mentions that finds on his job. Dwayne invites them to come garbage picking with him early tomorrow morning, which they excitedly agree to do. Sure, what else do ten-year-old boys do at five o'clock in the morning, anyway?
The trio sneaks into Lois's room and right as Ginger opens the door to the bathroom, her guilty conscience kicks in. She questions why they should go inside, but Dodie shows her the old goofy picture of her as a reminder, thus allowing Ginger to break the threshold of preteenhood. They turn on the light to Lois's bathroom and are instantly mesmerized by how gorgeous and fuzzy it is.
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| It's like God's own bathroom. |
Some time goes by, and the girls have made themselves over. They look like they belong on Toddlers and Tiaras with all that color caked onto their faces.
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| "Are we hot enough yet?" |
On the counter, she spots a tube of lipstick that wasn't closed all the way. Uh-oh!
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| Who wears green lipstick, anyway? |
Lois comes in and asks if the girls had fun hanging out, and Ginger's like, "Yeah, totally." Then Lois asks what they did, inferring that she knows they've been playing with her make-up, and the best that Ginger can come up with is card games you'd play with old people. At least try to make it convincing. Oh, why bother; you can see the Pop-My-Cherry Red lipstick on Ginger's lips from a mile away.
So, Lois eventually stops beating around the bush and tells Ginger that she knows they've been using her make-up, though I don't see why she would have to say so, it's literally right there on their faces!
After the commercial break, Ginger and the girls wash off their faces in the bathroom. Ginger tells Lois that she's tired of looking like a foot for her school pictures every year, and asks her for a little bit of sympathy. Lois is like, "Hell no, you girls don't need make-up. You're fine the way you are." Ginger pretends to be like, "Oh, all right," and then Lois tells them to keep out of her bathroom.
At five o'clock the next morning, Carl and Hoodsey stand outside freezing their asses off waiting for Dwayne to arrive. Darren rides up to them during his paper route and asks them what they're doing out there.
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| Ever heard of jackets, boys? |
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| Aww, is that a widdle yellow bunneh on the bottom? |
Hey, wait a second--those are completely different garbage cans from a previous episode. Remember in "Of Lice and Friends," the Griplings had a plain trash can?
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| From Episode 5, "Of Lice and Friends" |
A continuity error! Well, either that, or the Griplings thought their trash cans were too much like those of the poor, so they upgraded. I can see them doing that.
At lunch, Ginger and Dodie flip through some whore-ifying magazines, swapping eccentric beauty tricks and what not. Macie can't help but to be engrossed in some sort of Hamster's Digest mag. Silly child. An article about making your own make-up from household items catches Ginger's eye, and Dodie makes this face that I just have to post because of reasons:
Macie's like, "But Ginger, your mom said you couldn't wear make-up." But Ginger tries to justify that it's not make-up, but in fact "crushed crayons, petroleum jelly, berries..." I guess I can see where it's not make-up. Who needs fish scales and unknown chemicals when you can slap on some Crayola-scented lube?
Anyway, after school, the girls run into Ginger's room with all the ingredients they need. Some freaky background music comes on as Macie throws on a jacket and plays Doctor Frankenstein, complete with an adorable evil laugh.
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| And you thought she was all nice and sweet... not when you get her near the science lab, she's not! |
Carl and Hoodsey run into Darren on their way back from the Griplings' McMansion. Darren's like, "Find any cool garbage this morning?" And Carl's like, "I don't know what you're talking about." But Darren tells them that he knows all about what they're doing because when he was younger, he too hitched a ride on Dwayne's garbage truck in the wee hours of the morning going God knows where picking up God knows what. So, Carl and Hoodsey decide to go back to the Griplings to play a little prank on Blake. Why couldn't they just stay there instead of going home and then immediately coming all the way back? It doesn't make sense. Whatever. So, Blake is in his treehouse reenacting the final death scene from Macbeth or something. Below him, Carl instructs Hoodsey to launch a mini-radio via slingshot around a nearby tree branch. Then, he tosses the blanket too covering the radio. Carl then starts to speak through the blanket, scaring Blake into thinking it's haunted and wants Blake back. Then the boys run off after they had their fun.
Blake hovers angrily over the fence as he vows to take revenge on Carl. Then the boys run all the way into the doghouse and position themselves so that it looks like they've been there the whole time. Blake chases after them, and is befuddled that they got there so quick.
So, Carl looks at him and is like, "Oh, Blake, what brings you here?" Blake is totally onto them, livid at how low he's sunk. Carl continues to play dumb until Blake actually has to spell it out for him. That blanket is one of Blake's most embarrassing possessions and, instead of giving it to charity or some poor dumpster baby who could really use it, or even back to his mother where she could put it somewhere in that big ass McMansion, he wants it destroyed and invisible to the eyes of mankind. But since Blake knows Carl wouldn't dream of wasting a blackmail opportunity, especially on a Gripling, Blake bribes him with cold, hard cash. Carl doesn't want any of his money, so he instead turns to Hoodsey, who pulls out a pre-made list of demands and reads them off to Blake. They include wearing novelty bunny ears whenever Carl demands, being a moving target for his water balloon abuse, and install carpeting in the doghouse... by hand. They all seem rather tame to me (except for the carpet installing one; that just sounds like slave labor) but Blake sinks to his knees at the thought of pleasing Carl.
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| Seriously, did they just plan that list out ahead of time to use at the perfect moment? |
Except, it's not really "make-up" since they're not allowed to wear it. So Ginger decides to call it "fake-up," because that's totally different, right?
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| "To fake-up!" - Ginger, Dodie, and Macie |
School picture day has arrived, so the trio dramatically heads for the bathroom to apply their melted Crayola-berry-Vaseline goop. This cannot end well. Down in the cafeteria, the crowd cheers for Courtney against generic catwalk music as she poses extremely inappropriately for her pictures. There's even a fan to blow back her hair. The camera guy just loooooves her, which is really uncomfortable if you think about it.
Even Miranda gets jealous! Please, girl, you wish you were Courtney Gripling.
The music suddenly stops right as Miranda looks over to her left and sees these three walking in:
OO
Okay, I have so many things to say about this, but I'll just let the photo speak for itself. Ginger is called up first. She nervously sits down, and the cameraman tells her to give her something "fun," and I guess this is the epitome of "fun":
After their pictures are taken, the trio runs back into the bathroom to take another look at their artwork. Macie's like, "We were HOT," and I can't stop laughing at the way she says it because between Macie's stuffy voice and her innocent facade, it just seems so unnatural. But in a cute way. Dodie is confident that these are the best pictures they've ever taken, which only further serves the idea that these girls think that they're ugly. They never actually say it on the show, but if they think that all that "fake-up" is what qualifies them for better pictures, then they definitely have some screwed up self-esteem problems which was more than likely triggered by Miranda calling them ugly in the beginning of the episode. Ginger, I thought I told you to stop trusting Miranda. Every time you hear her speak, just throw your hands over your ears and do that childish, "La-la-la, I can't hear you" bit. Trust me, she'll get the message. But you know, Courtney's airbrushed glam shots probably didn't help the girls' self-esteem either, which is why they can't see just how awful they look because they've also painted themselves rose-colored glasses.
Back in the doghouse, Blake begrudgingly staples down a roll of red carpet in the doghouse. Carl decides to have some fun toying with little Blakey, so he demands that Blake steam clean the carpet as well, and if he refuses, the world will know about his baby blanket. Blake throws down the stapler and rues the day he allowed Carl to manipulate him like that, but you kinda have to feel for the kid. He's only seven years old, so of course he would be embarrassed to still have a baby blanket with him. But what I don't understand is why he doesn't just give it to Mrs. Gripling, or Winston, or Courtney to put it somewhere where he can't see it. It's never mentioned why exactly he hates the blanket so much, because it has to go beyond embarrassment of possessing it. Suddenly, a piece of wood moves out of the way on the doghouse door, and Darren peeks through, having heard the whole conversation. He tells Carl that this is the lowest he's ever sunk and then turns to Blake with a promise to keep his secret safe.
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I don't know why Blake would trust some stranger to keep his secret safe, but it doesn't matter anyway because Darren is supposedly a trustworthy fellow, so I'm guessing we're supposed to believe it just for the sake of the plot. After Blake leaves, Darren tells Carl and Hoodsey that they've been acting like assholes ever since they hitched a ride with Dwayne. Man, Darren hasn't been around here much, has he? Anyway, Darren tells Carl to knock off the Miranda act otherwise he will tell everyone (everyone who?) about the little stuffed lamb he used to drag around when he was little. When Hoodsey starts to make fun of him for the lamb, Carl breaks down out of embarrassment and steps off. So, I guess the lesson here is to fight fire with fire? Or fight blankie with lambie?
At a school function sometime in the very near future, Mrs. Gordon tells Lois about what a rotten little turd Carl is, and that he would benefit marvelously in an obedience school for dogs. Damn, that's an awful thing to say about one of your students, Mrs. Gordon. If Lois didn't agree with you, she'd probably file a lawsuit against you. Strangely, Lois was under the impression that Mrs. Gordon found him "charming," why she believed Carl is beyond me. As Lois walks away, facepalming and all, she runs into Ms. Zorski, who gives her Ginger's school photo to take home. She offers Lois a sneak peek, which probably wasn't such a good idea:
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At home, Lois slams down the photos on the kitchen table and grounds Ginger indefinitely. Ginger tries to tell Lois that the make-up is all fake, so she didn't actually break the rules, like the foundation being made of gravy and the blush being made out of cranberries, but Lois is like, "I don't give a flying fuck. Now go to your room!" After Ginger leaves with tears in her eyes, the microwave dings, and Lois pulls out a plate of mashed potatoes. She mumbles about how stupid the idea of homemade make-up is, and then pours the gravy foundation onto her potatoes. She takes a bite and stares at it for a moment before replying, "Hmm, needs blush." Bahaha!
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| "Hmm, needs blush." - Lois |
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Once their rose-colored glasses fall off, the trio finally realizes how terrible they looked with the Thanksgiving side dishes clogging their pores. Ginger realizes that they were just better off being themselves, though I think the real moral to this story is to learn how to apply make-up so you don't look like prostitutes. At least they'll be able to retake their pictures soon. No way would they ever live it down if those pictures landed in their next yearbook.
Lessons Learned From This Episode: learn how to apply make-up so you don't end up looking like the shining examples above; you don't need make-up to make yourself look bettter
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